Fragile
by HeroWorshiper
Summary: Human life and the illusion of safety are fragile things changeable in an instant. Each moment should be savored because no one knows what the next instant could bring. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Human life and the illusion of safety are fragile things changeable in an instant. Each moment should be savored because no one knows what the next instant could bring.

**Disclaimer:** Emergency! and the characters therein are the property of Mark VII Productions and Universal Studios. No copyright infringement is intended and no monetary profit will be gained by their use in this story.

**Fragile**

**Chapter One**

The dark rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingled with the unmistakable scent of breakfast greeted Roy as he stepped from the bathroom. Glancing over to the bed he noticed JoAnne had laid out a fresh uniform, t-shirt and boxers for him. Roy smiled fondly as he let the damp towel he had draped around his waist drop to the floor. The comparative coolness of the bedroom was refreshing after the moist warmth of the bathroom, and as Roy dressed he enjoyed the contrasts musing how each situation increased the pleasure of the next. Today just had to be a wonderful day because Roy felt absolutely amazing!

Downstairs in the DeSoto home JoAnne put the finishing touches on breakfast before going to call her children and husband to the table. It was a lusciously cool spring daybreak, and JoAnne was particularly fond of early mornings. She found she had time to think in the peaceful world of the pre-dawn hours while the house was still, and the world had yet to awaken outside. JoAnne and Roy had roused this morning before the alarm, and finding themselves with a few extra minutes the couple had availed themselves of the occasion by spending some quality time in marital connection. The warm memory of tender caresses and murmured endearments had blended nicely to create a delicious beginning for this break of day, and JoAnne hummed happily to herself as she turned from the completed sunrise spread to waken her children.

JoAnne quickly walked out of the kitchen toward Jennifer and Chris's rooms. As she rounded the corner she collided somewhat forcefully with Roy's lean muscular body. Instinctively strong arms grabbed her enfolding her in a warm and halting embrace. Startled green eyes peered up into twinkling blue ones as JoAnne gasped in surprise at the suddenness of the encounter. Roy smiled down warmly at his wife and said "well good morning again Mrs. DeSoto. Were you in a hurry to get some place?"

JoAnne giggled and kissed him gently on the lips. "I was going to wake the kids. Breakfast is ready, and I wanted to make sure you all got an early start to your day." And she leaned into Roy's body "But this is nice too." She finished. "_He looks so handsome in uniform!" _She thought as they continued to stand in the embrace their collision had created. JoAnne leaned up again to kiss Roy, this time with more passion and languid enjoyment. Both hearts raced a bit as husband and wife enjoyed the kiss, and when they separated JoAnne said in a sultry wanton voice "ummmm…God I just love a man in uniform."

"Yes you did, and very well this morning already I think." Roy replied with desire and humor apparent in his eyes. Releasing her from his grasp he gently caressed her soft cheek in his hand smiling down at her suggestively.

Warmth and color rose in JoAnne's cheeks at his remark and she replied "Thank you kind sir. I was just doing my part to make sure you got up early this morning." And she allowed her hand to gently brush across his belt buckle and other anterior areas slightly further south while stepping reluctantly from his embrace, a wickedly inviting leer decorating here lovely countenance.

Roy's breath caught in his throat with her lingering departing touch, and he mused it was a pity he needed to leave for work in a few minutes. With a heavy sigh Roy allowed JoAnne to brush past him, and continued on into the kitchen where he poured himself a cup of coffee.

A few minutes later as Roy sat sipping coffee at the breakfast table while perusing the morning paper, he heard the sounds of his wife and children coming down the hallway. Folding the paper, he set it aside as first Jennifer, and then Chris sleepily entered the kitchen. Roy reached out from his chair and snagged Jennifer as she plodded drowsily toward her seat. He hugged his daughter warmly briefly drawing the six year old up onto his lap for a morning snuggle and kiss. "Mornin' babe. Sleep well?" he said to the child.

With a small fist rubbing at sleepy sapphire eyes, Jennifer gazed up into her father's face and smiled. "Mornin Daddy. Slept good. Wish it was Saturday instead of Monday." She grumpily replied as he released her.

Roy gently swatted his daughter on the rump sending her on her way with "Me too honey. But ya know, it's gonna be a beautiful day and Saturday will get here soon enough."

Next Roy reached out and drew his even sleepier and grumpier eight year old son into a hug. Ruffling the boy's already disheveled blond hair he said "Mornin son."

Chris mumbled something unintelligible as he ducked away from Roy. Stepping toward his seat at the table he mumbled "Mornin Dad."

Everyone in the DeSoto family seated themselves, and breakfast was enjoyed. Slowly as food and drink awakened each family member, conversation picked up. Anticipated events for each person's day were shared, and plans for the following evening were discussed. JoAnne reminded Roy to invite Johnny over for dinner the next night because she had already prepared and was currently marinating rolled stuffed flank steak. She knew it was one of Johnny's favorite meals. Children eagerly agreed and with an air of exited anticipation for an impending visit with Uncle Johnny, Chris and Jennifer having finished breakfast were dismissed to dress for the day while Roy and JoAnne lingered a few extra moments over coffee.

All too soon, Roy grabbed his duffle and spare uniforms, and picking up his car keys he prepared to take his leave. JoAnne kissed Roy one last time and reminded him to have a safe shift as she sent him out the door.

* * *

><p>Roy's yellow Porsche turned into the driveway for L.A. County Fire Station 51 a good 45 minutes early. He climbed out of his vehicle noticing Mike Stoker and Hank Stanley's cars along with the cars from C shift were parked in the lot. Johnny's Land Rover was nowhere to be seen, but considering this was a Monday morning, Roy wasn't really surprised. Roy grabbed his gear out of his vehicle, and headed for the locker room.<p>

When Johnny arrived at the station he found all but one of his crew mates cars were parked in the lot behind the station. With a victorious lopsided grin he leapt from his Rover and bounded for the open apparatus bay door grateful he was already dressed and ready to go. Chet would be the last to arrive, and that'd mean latrine duty for the phantom. _"This day is startin' out all right!"_ Johnny mused as he rushed into the locker room and stowed his bag and spare uniforms.

Johnny walked into the kitchen a full ten minutes early for work. He quickly filled a mug with coffee and joined his crew mates and some of the departing members of C shift at the kitchen table. Morning pleasantries were exchanged, and sections of the newspaper were claimed as the firemen sipped their steaming mugs. Gradually the men of C shift began to drift out of the kitchen preparing to go home after what had been described as a busy shift.

Captain Stanley strode into the kitchen after he had finished the change of command ritual with C shift's Captain Hookraider. "Roll call gentlemen." Hank announced.

The four assembled men stood from the table, and proceeded into the bay to don dress hats and line up behind the squad. Chester B Kelly dashed into the bay just in time to toss his duffle onto the squad's back bumper and slide into line shortly before Captain Stanley began to speak. Stanley glanced up from his clipboard when Chet slipped into line saying "well good morning Kelly. Glad you could join us. I guess we know who'll be cleaning the latrines today."

With a sheepish grin, and downcast head Chet replied "Yeah, Cap. Got it. That'd be me today."

"Good." Stanley replied and continued with announcements and job assignments for the day.

Roll call completed the men of 51's began their morning chores. Johnny and Roy retired to the squad to commence inventory and equipment checks. Johnny was elbow deep in the drug and trauma boxes counting supplies while Roy held a clipboard noting quantities, and lists of needed materials. The men worked efficiently and chatted amiably as their task proceeded.

"You're sure in a good mood." Johnny observed of his partner as he sorted through the I.V. bags in the trauma box and relayed the number of each to Roy.

Roy remembering his warm send off for the morning as he spoke smiled softly. "Well, it's a beautiful day out. Why shouldn't I be in a great mood?"

Roy's soft pleasant voice caused Johnny's attention to shift for a moment as the younger medic turned his gaze to inspect his partner. Instantly surmising a likely reason for his partner's positive demeanor Johnny grinned at Roy. "Oooooh….I see. Why, yes indeed, looks like it was a lovely morning." He remarked succinctly, and he winked at Roy with a conspiratorial grin sliding across his face before returning to the inventory.

Roy's cheeks colored slightly as he ducked his head in apparent inspection of something on the clipboard. "So, how many Ringers bags do we have?" he quarried attempting to re-direct Johnny's focus.

Johnny's soft chuckle was easily detected as he again began relaying numbers, and Roy continued to make notations. When the inventory and supply list were finished, the paramedics completed medical equipment checks and radio calibrations as they made final preparations to begin the shift.

"So, how were your days off Junior." Roy inquired of his younger partner. Roy was re-packing the defibrillator and Datascope after carefully checking the equipment for readiness.

Johnny who had been working with the O2 tanks stopped momentarily to look in Roy's direction. "Great! I had an amazing date with that new nurse from Rampart, Shelby Makee. You know, the voluptuous well endowed blond with those beautiful blue eyes and fabulous smile?"

"Oh?" Roy quarried with a raised eyebrow as his attention turned from the case he had been sliding back into the squad's side compartment. "So it went well? You two on for another date then?"

"Oh yeah, she's amazing Roy! Not only is she gorgeous, she's probably the sweetest woman I've ever been out with." Johnny replied as he resumed working on the oxygen tank. "Ya know, one of those really neat people who are just good through and through. I tell ya, that woman is incredible!"

Roy had heard it all before. His partner would briefly fall in "love" with a woman only to jump out of it a few short days later. Johnny's lack of ability to maintain more than casual short term relationships with women baffled Roy because to him Johnny was the most loyal of friends. Johnny was a good hearted person, and one of those individuals who always seemed to think of others comfort and safety before considering his own. Roy just couldn't figure out how a guy who got on so well with women couldn't show how truly terrific he was to a woman for a long enough time to establish a long term relationship with a potential partner, or even wife.

Suddenly Roy remembered JoAnne's dinner invitation to Johnny for the following evening. "Are you planning on takin' this Shelby out again?" he inquired casually.

"Yup. I thought maybe we'd go out to dinner tomorrow night." Johnny replied as he stowed the now ready O2 cart in the front passenger's compartment of the squad.

"Hmmm, I have an idea." Roy said, again careful to maintain a casual tone. "JoAnne is marinating some of that rolled stuffed flank steak you enjoy so much. She'd already asked me to invite you over for supper tomorrow. How about you come over and bring your date….that is if you don't think we'll scare her off." Roy proposed.

Johnny who had moved on to inspecting non medical equipment on the squad looked up suspiciously from his task. "Roy?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Are you tryin' to play matchmaker again?"

"Hey? I didn't even know about this girl until just now Junior." Roy replied defensively, but his too innocent grin and the humor twinkling in his eyes betrayed his words. "But, now that ya mention it, this one does sound like a winner and I gotta tell ya partner, married life definitely has some worthwhile perks. Take this absolutely sensationally lovely morning for example….."

Johnny laughed aloud at his partner's declaration. Then pausing thoughtfully he said "ya know, I do love JoAnne's cookin, and well, this girl is pretty terrific…. It might be fun to introduce her to Jo, Jen and Chris. Let me ask her when we are over at Rampart, I know she's working today. She's pretty easy going, and I know she comes from a rather large family. This might be an evening we would all enjoy."

Roy smiled happily slapping his partner on the shoulder. "Sounds great!" he said as both men headed out to begin their respective station chores.

* * *

><p>Jimmy Watkins and Steve Friendswood finished their lunches and headed outside of the shop at International Cable Television Company. Jimmy, a six foot two inch tall burley guy with dishwater blond hair climbed behind the wheel of their heavy work truck and turned the key. Glancing down at the gauges on the dash board he called to Steve through the window. "Come on Steve. We are low on fuel, and we need to drive over to the pump so we can fill 'er up before we hit the road."<p>

Steve, a six foot one inch tall long lanky clean cut brunette man, jumped into the cab grinning good naturedly. "All right, let's do it." He replied. "I'll fill the tank for you Jimmy 'cause I know that natural gas freaks you out."

Jimmy gave Steve a grateful smile. "Thanks man! I know it's stupid, but driving a truck powered by natural gas just always sort of seemed dangerous to me. That stuff can explode without any warning, and I guess I get a little squeamish sometimes when I have to be around it. I don't think about it so much when I'm driving the truck, but filing the tank….well…."

Steve chuckled knowing Jimmy was underestimating his reaction. "It's more than a little squeamish bud, but don't worry about it. I'll take care of filling the tank for you partner."

Jimmy pulled the heavy vehicle up to the natural gas refueling station and Steve hopped out of the cab and began to fill the large tank. The company had switched over to powering their service fleet with natural gas as a result of the recent oil embargo and subsequent energy crisis, and thus far everyone seemed to be pleased with the change, except Jimmy. Though he realized the alternative fuel was cheaper for his company, Jimmy couldn't seem to shake the feeling he was somehow driving a ticking time bomb when he thought about the huge tank filled with natural gas he carried just under and behind the passenger's compartment of their work truck. He hated re-fueling, and was extremely grateful his partner and best friend Steve had volunteered to complete the odious task today.

"So Linda is gonna make roast beef for dinner tonight." Jimmy called out the window to his partner. "She said I should invite you and Lesley to join us for dinner. Interested?"

"I'll have to check with Lesley, but you know how much I love Linda's cooking. I bet I can talk Lesley into coming over. Want us to pick up some dessert?" Steve replied as he finished refueling and closed the cap for the fuel compartment.

"That'd be great. Why don't you guys come over at say seven-thirty." Jimmy replied as Steve hopped into the cab of the truck. Then Jimmy started the engine and the pair drove out of the company lot toward the 405 freeway en route to their next service call.

* * *

><p>Andrea Washington climbed behind the wheel of here candy apple red Audi sports coup. It was a brilliantly beautiful California early afternoon and Andie intended to do some shoe shopping. She started the powerful engine of the car, slipped into her sleek Ray Ban sunshades and while the engine purred contently she shifted the car into gear and maneuvered her way toward the 405. A cool breeze whipped Andie's long blond curls into a frenzy as she accelerated onto the freeway. The radio blasted out the Bee Gees' latest hit "Stayin Alive" in competition with the noises of the wind rushing by the vehicle as Andie zipped through traffic mindlessly maneuvering the coup from lane to lane while her thoughts drifted to her upcoming evening plans.<p>

* * *

><p>Fred Brewster groaned aloud as he studied the traffic congested freeway ahead of him. He had been driving his semi since very early in the morning, and he was tired. Fred just wanted to deliver this tanker load of vegetable oil to the bread factory and go someplace and take a nap. "These stupid California drivers" he muttered as a blue sedan darted quickly into the lane in front of Fred's truck. Fred gripped the big steering wheel of the rig, and judiciously applied just enough brake to avoid hitting the blue sedan.<p>

Traffic was moving along at around forty or fifty miles an hour and the congested roadway made for exciting driving. Excitement was the last thing the grumpy semi driver was seeking. Noticing things seemed to be moving more expeditiously in the left center lane, Fred who currently occupied the right center lane signaled, checked his side mirrors, and slowly merged left.

Glancing in his side mirror again Fred noticed a very attractive blond driving a bright red sports car in the left lane just behind Fred. She was moving up fast, and Fred after a quick look at the road again peered into his mirror to get a better look at the lovely lady before she moved past him.

Suddenly a heavy white work truck with a cable company logo on the side darted into Fred's lane. But the truck Fred realized hadn't allowed enough space, and just before the two vehicles collided Fred attempted to steer clear by swerving the big rig into the left lane. Fred didn't have time to look and see if the blond in the sports car had moved out of his way. Things just happened too fast.

Then there was the horrible crunch of metal as Fred saw his rig collide with the back driver's side rear quarter panel and bumper of the cable truck. The cable truck spun wildly out of control crossing the lane directly in front of Fred, and to Fred's horror his rig again slammed into the driver's door of the now spinning cable truck. Sounds of screaming ripping metal and breaking glass mixed with the sickening howl of tortured tires attempting to brake but sliding on rough pavement. Fred's truck twisted slightly to his left and he heard yet one more nauseating crunch. Fred realized another car must have slammed into the tank he was hauling.

As Fred continued to battle for control of his rig which was now sliding sideways diagonally down the thoroughfare he saw the heavy duty white truck spin once more, screech painfully along the concrete highway divider, and finally collide with a light pole on the side of the road.

Fred's body was hurled into the door as his truck too spun, and the last thing he would remember before his head slammed into the driver's side window was the sight of the light pole beginning to crash down upon the cable truck.

* * *

><p>Jimmy carefully maneuvered his large work truck through post lunch time traffic on the 405. It was almost one thirty in the afternoon, but traffic was still crazy. Suddenly a blue four door sedan whipped into the right center lane just in front of Jimmy's front bumper, and abruptly slammed to an almost complete stop.<p>

Jimmy gripped the wheel of the big truck, and in a last ditch effort to avoid hitting the smaller car he jerked his truck to the left into what seemed to be a clear place in the other lane. In his haste to avoid the impending collision with the blue sedan, Jimmy misjudged the distance between his vehicle and the semi that had been moving up to take the empty spot in the left center lane before Jimmy unceremoniously claimed it.

Jimmy saw the trucker attempt to avoid the crash, and realized they were in trouble. "Hold on!" he screamed to Steve who looked up from the work order he'd been completing. Wide eyed Steve grabbed for the ceiling handle by the door to hold on as he heard and felt the horrible crunch of two large vehicles colliding.

Then the world began to spin. Jimmy felt his truck swirl out of control, and looked out the driver's side window just in time to see the front bumper of the big rig nearing his face. Jimmy screamed just before the impact, and blackness claimed him with a horrible crunching sound and white hot pain.

Steve saw the semi hit their truck again too. His partner's scream, then the spray of blood combined with the overly intense sensation of the helplessly spinning truck were terrifying. Steve heard hideous screams of brakes and tires, and he felt the grinding of metal tearing across concrete as the cable truck screamed helpless down the concrete highway divider spraying sparks as it slid. Steve heard the unmistakable whooshing sound as freed natural gas ignited from one of the sparks, and again another horrible crash as the truck smacked into a light pole. Steve was thrown forward against his seatbelt, then back against the glass of the truck's rear window. Steve saw the light pole falling just before his head hit the glass of the rear window and blackness mercifully claimed him.

* * *

><p>Andie could see traffic was becoming heavier as she eased her red sports car into the far left lane. Just in front of her in the left center lane she saw a large tanker driver. Andie hated driving behind big trucks, and she pressed the accelerator pedal a little harder in order to get around the big rig. Just as Andie pulled up beside the tanker she suddenly heard the screech of brakes. Instinctively Andie too hit her brakes. Then all at once the tanker veered across the left lane directly in Andie's path!<p>

Terrified Andie stood on the brakes while attempting to steer her car onto the left shoulder and hopefully around the wildly careening tank truck. But as Andie moved to her left, the tanker also moved further left; almost as if the driver of the big rig were following her intentionally blocking her escape route! A collision was immanent Andie realized with horrer as she vainly stepped even harder on the brake pedal.

She saw the tanker looming ever closer. Andie knew her car was going to crash underneath the huge tank part of the truck. As her hood disappeared beneath the truck Andie instinctively ducked her head and body down to her right in the seat. Horrific sounds of glass breaking around her and metal moaning agonizingly as it was sheered apart mingled with the BeeGees' singing on the car stereo. Andie felt glass shards and metal debris raining down upon her as her car's roof was ripped from its body. After what seemed to be an inordinately long slide, the vehicle finally came to a stop. Where there had been a bright California day, there was sudden and complete darkness. Andie felt some viscous something dripping down upon her from above. After all the crazy movement of the wreck, suddenly everything was by contrast almost deathly still and dark. Andie could see no light, yet to her amazement the Bee Gees' continued to sing "ah..ah..ah…ah…stayin alive…..stayin alive…."

After a few seconds, and an eternity in which Andie tried to decide if she were alive or dead, she finally reached out in front of her to silence the weirdly appropriate music. When she clicked off the radio Andie became aware of yet another sound, the approaching wail of sirens.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fragile**

**Chapter 2**

The shift was a slow one for a Monday morning with the squad only getting two minor calls before noon, and the engine crew having only one small dumpster fire.

Chores were completed, and Mike Stoker prepared homemade chicken and rice soup for lunch. Relaxed firemen happily enjoyed their noon meal undisturbed by the tones. When lunch was over, Captain Stanley who had assigned himself kitchen clean up for the day began to clear the table and wash dishes. As no one was busy, everyone pitched in to clear the table while pleasant insignificant conversation drifted between the men. No one dared make mention of the slow day for fear somehow the simple spoken declaration might anger the fates and launch the entire station into an afternoon of mayhem.

Superstition aside, at shortly past one-thirty in the afternoon the tones sounded sending the entire station to an MVA on the 405. Men scrambled from their seats dashing for rescue vehicles as Captain Stanley made note of the address and acknowledged the call. The squad slid from the apparatus bay followed by the engine with lights flashing and siren's whaling. Johnny donned his helmet and tightened the strap on as he directed Roy through traffic.

Entering the freeway, very near station 51 as it turned out, the crew fought their way through miserably snarled traffic. Often times Roy was forced to drive on the shoulder of the road around cars that having no means of escape could not clear a path for the emergency vehicles. As the men of 51's slowly crawled through traffic they could see a plume of black smoke beginning to rise from someplace ahead of them on the freeway.

"Great, looks like we've got something burning up there." Johnny stated grimly as he craned his neck in an attempt to get a better look ahead of the cars blocking their path.

"Yeah." Roy stated flatly never looking away from the road ahead as every ounce of his attention was focused on navigating the squad.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the fire trucks finally managed to steer through the mass of stranded cars, and arriving on the accident scene they discovered a small sports car had somehow managed to collide with a tanker truck. The sports car was ominously wedged under the tanker, and the firemen could see a stream of gentle white smoke drifting up from under the smaller vehicle's hood. The tanker itself had collided with a cable truck, and the large white cable truck had obviously slid along the concrete highway divider for about fifteen or twenty yards, and then smashed into a light pole. The pole leaned precariously onto the cable truck and a large plume of thick black smoke was rising from under the hood of the white work truck.

Mike angled the engine diagonally across several lanes of traffic to protect the crew as they worked on scene. Roy parked the squad occluding the remaining traffic lane in order to keep traffic from attempting to move around the accident scene. Captain Stanley quickly snatched up the radio handset and called for CHP and an additional squad and three ambulances.

Leaping from the cab of Engine 51, Stanley moved cautiously closer to the tanker attempting to find any markings on the trailer to indicate what might be contained inside. After a thorough inspection, finding no indication of what the rescuers might be looking at where the contents of the tanker were concerned, Stanley trotted back to the engine armed with the contact phone number he had found listed on the tail end of the truck. After radioing L.A. dispatch the number and relaying a request for the dispatcher to contact the tanker's company, Stanley tuned to his paramedics and ordered them to quickly and carefully begin to check for victims.

When the squad came to a stop, Johnny and Roy jumped from the vehicle to rapidly scramble into turnout coats and gloves before trotting over to the engine to receive orders from Captain Stanley.

"What'da we got Cap?" Roy inquired.

"I don't rightly know Roy." Stanley honestly answered. "I found a phone number on the tail of the trailer, and I've radioed dispatch to contact the company so we can find out what's in that thing." He said gesturing toward the large tanker. "You and John run over, and take a quick look at the other vehicles so we can see if we are gonna need more man power."

"I'll take the cable truck." John called as he jogged off in the direction of the large vehicle.

Roy grinned, shaking his head. His partner's infinite energy and enthusiasm were stupefying sometimes. "Guess that leaves me the sports car. Meet you at the rig's cab I guess." He called after his rapidly departing friend.

"Chet, pull an inch and a half and let's start getting this mess washed down. Not knowing what is in that tanker, I don't want to risk an explosion. Marco, pop those battery cables for me pal!" Captain Stanley ordered even as he realized Marco was already running for the sports car, and Chet had disappeared behind engine 51 presumably to pull that line. Hank smiled to himself at the efficiency of his crew.

His orders given, Stanley jogged over to the cable truck where he could see thickening black smoke rising. After inspecting the truck visually Hank Stanly saw a sticker on the truck indicating the vehicle was powered with natural gas. "Oh my gosh!" He said with rising alarm.

"John, grab and go pal. This truck is filled with natural gas, and it looks like it's already on fire!" Stanley yelled at Johnny who was attempting to gain access to the passenger's compartment.

"Cap, the drivers a code F." Johnny said. "This guy's alive, but I can't get the door open. I'm gonna need a pry bar."

"I'm on it." Stanley said as he dashed for the squad. Jogging toward the rescue vehicle, Stanly heard his handi-talkie beeping. Retrieving it from the deep pocket of his turnout, Stanley listened as L.A. dispatch informed him the tanker contained eighty thousand gallons of vegetable oil. "Good grief!" Captain Stanley exclaimed quietly to himself. Depressing the send button on the radio Captain Stanly said "L.A., respond another engine, and a foam truck to this incident. Also, we have one Code F on scene, and we'll need the coroner."

Marco quickly ran over to the cable truck, and forced open the hood. "Uh John, Cap's right. We got a broken gas line and a steady flame under here. Grab anyone you can save 'cause I think this might just explode any second." He said as he dashed around to the side of the vehicle in search of a shut off valve for the natural gas. "Damn! The shut off valve is busted! Make it quick Johnny!"

Captain Stanley returned to the truck and together John and his Captain forced open the door. Stanley grabbed the passenger under his arms, and Johnny grabbed his legs as the two men dashed away from the cable truck. After depositing the injured passenger on the ground next to the squad, Johnny sprinted back toward the semi's cab to check the driver. He'd gotten no more than two steps in the direction of the truck when his keen eyes caught the blue flash of igniting gas from under the front of the wrecked cable truck. Johnny turned his body away from the impending inferno and attempted to hit the ground shouting for his crew mates to get down.

At the sound of Johnny's command Chet dropped his hose and ran, hitting the deck approximately ten yards from where he'd originally been standing. Marco ducked quickly behind the cab of the tanker truck leaving Johnny alone out in the open. Before Johnny could completely fling himself to the ground an enormous fire ball erupted from the truck. Johnny felt the searing heat hurtling at him in a giant wave as he hit the ground. At first stunned, Johnny barely registered the burning pain on his thigh and lower left leg when the intense temperature ignited the side of his uniform pants.

Roy watched in horror from beside the tanker where he was sheltered from the blast. For his part, Roy had managed to deflate the car tires on the sports car, and had forced open the door revealing a bruised, cut but basically healthy petite blond haired hazel eyed woman. Roy saw Johnny hit the pavement just as the fireball barely skimmed over his body, followed by Johnny's pants beginning to smoke, and quickly yelled "Chet! Get Johnny!"

Chet scrambled to his feet, looked back at Johnny lying on the ground, and instantly darted over to pick up his abandoned hose. Opening the nozzle, Chet turned the spray on his crew mate and rapidly extinguished the smoldering fabric of Johnny's pant leg.

Roy ran to his partner and quickly knelt to check him for injury. Somewhat recovered from the alarming explosion, and then the sudden assault of icy water, Johnny looked up at Roy.

"You all right Johnny?" Roy asked.

"Yeah, I think so."Johnny replied somewhat hesitantly as he struggled to sit up from where he'd landed on the ground.

"Uh huh." Roy murmured with obvious suspicion. Roy could see that some of the hair on the back of Johnny's head was slightly singed, and Johnny's turnout had obviously taken some intense heat if the scorched patterns on the fabric were any indication. Quickly Roy began to unfasten John's coat, and slipping it off he inspected his partner's arms, neck and ears for burns. With relief Roy noted the turnout coat had done its job. Turning his attention to his friend's pants, Roy quickly snatched the trauma sheers from his own belt and sliced up Johnny's pants leg to reveal an area on the lateral aspect of John's lower thigh and upper calf about the size of a man's hand where John had first and one small area of what were probably second degree burns.

Still a little stunned, Johnny had little choice but to submit to Roy's hasty exam. As Roy whipped out the trauma scissors Johnny was about to protest until he glanced over and noticed the burn pattern on his pants. "It got a little hot there for a minute, but I'm fine now." Johnny exclaimed as he allowed Roy to slice his pants up to the thigh, and examine the minor burn he'd received. When Roy seemed satisfied, and sat back on his heels making eye contact with Johnny, the younger medic snatched up and re donned his turnout coat, and wasted no time in scrambling to his feet.

Sirens could be heard approaching now as squad 36, and two ambulances arrived on scene. Captain Stanley met the incoming squad and instructed one of the paramedics to take care of the cable truck's passenger. The other he sent to assist Johnny in getting the driver of the sports car free and attended. Hank himself ran over to the cab of the big rig to assist Roy, and directed Marco who had been prying open the door of the semi's cab to go and pull another line so they'd have two lines attempting to knock down the natural gas fire boiling up in great waves from the rapidly disintegrating cable truck.

Standing now, Roy again visually inspected Johnny. Nothing else seemed amiss, but Roy made a mental note to get a more extensive look after the critical victims had been attended. Focusing his steel laden blue eyes on Johnny, Roy questioned "You think you can see to the lady in the car while I check the driver of the semi?"

"Yeah, I got it." Johnny said as he accepted a small piece of paper Roy held out to him, and trotted over to the car.

* * *

><p>Steve's body shrieked in searing agony as he was torn from his blissful blackness by strong arms snatching him from the front seat of the truck. Moaning weakly, Steve attempted to open his eyes. But the vortex of infinite darkness sucked him in again and he struggled no more.<p>

Moments or hours later Steve became aware of a deafening explosion that seemed to rock the ground on which he now lay. He thought he heard men shouting, but couldn't figure out why there might be men in his bedroom, or why his world had suddenly become blinding white agony, and his consciousness escaped again into the void. He never felt the skilled hands of Mike Edwards, one of the paramedics from squad 36, as injuries were assessed, spinal precautions were taken, an I.V. was started and Steve was packaged for transport.

* * *

><p>Imprisoned in her dark, cramped automobile Andie could only rely on her senses of hearing and smell to tell her what was happening outside. She heard the sirens drawing nearer and finally stopping very close to where she was. She heard the horrifying crackle of shorting electrical wiring from somewhere in the front of her car. She heard the sounds of running feet, and men's voices. Then Andie began to smell something burning. She panicked, screaming wildly for help as she struggled to free herself from the tiny tomblike compartment holding her captive.<p>

But her wild struggles only served to make Andie more keenly aware of her precarious position. She found she was hopelessly entangled in what must be her seatbelt, with the steering wheel blocking any possible movement. Her left arm shot nauseating pains through her body with every movement, and the inescapable drip, drip dripping of something slippery and thick that continued to spill upon her from above only served to intensify her terror.

"Hello, are you all right in there?" a voice shouted from outside Andie's prison. _"Oh my God! Someone has come to get me out of this!"_ Andie thought exhaling a long sigh of relief. "I'm here, please help me." She called in a weak shaking voice.

"All Right Ma'am, we are gonna get you out of there." The voice said. "Just hang on for a sec while I run get a pair of pliers to let the air out of your tires. I think we'll be able to force the door open when we get the car un-jammed from under this truck." And Andie heard footsteps quickly moving away from her.

Momentarily the footsteps returned. Andie heard something that sounded like a heavy metal something being dropped on the ground, then there was fumbling around the back driver's side tire of her car, and a sudden pssssttttt whoosh as the air was quickly expelled from a tire. The side of the car dropped three inches suddenly allowing light to flood into the darkened passenger's compartment. The sound of released air was heard again, and the driver's front tire deflated. Andie's hazel eyes adjusted to the light as she found herself peering into a set of startlingly blue ones.

"Hello there." Roy said as he leaned over and peered into the car. "I'm Roy DeSoto, a firefighter paramedic with the L.A. County Fire Department. You just hang on; we'll get you out of there in just a minute. O.K.?" And he dashed around to the other side of the car to repeat the process lowering the car completely onto its' rims.

Now Andie could see out, and she watched as the man named Roy quickly picked up a long heavy duty metal bar and with some rapid banging, and the groan of tortured metal she saw Roy was able to pry the door of her little car open.

* * *

><p>After he forced the door back away from the body of the car, Roy squatted on the pavement and began to assess his victim. "Hello there. What's your name Ma'am?" Roy said reaching out to begin gently palpating her legs. "I'm just gonna check you out and make sure everything's all right." He soothed as he gently inspected both legs and moved on to her left arm.<p>

"I'm Andrea Washington." Andie replied. "My friend's call me Andie." And she looked up into the face of the blond haired blue eyed paramedic. Abstractly Andie mused that the guy was pretty handsome, in a boy next door kind of way. Her gaze dropped from his eyes, and she noticed abstractly that he was also rather nicely built. She smiled then gently chiding herself mentally. _"Geeze Andie. The guy is probably married, and you are about to be engaged yourself."_

As practiced fingers found an area of swelling and deformation on Andie's left humorous she flinched and tried to pull away. "Ouch! That really hurts!"

"Yeah, I know it does Andie. Sorry about that. I have to check." Roy soothed as he moved on to palpate her other arm, her head, her neck and spine. "Did you hit your head at all?" He inquired as he reached into his left front shirt pocket to withdraw his penlight.

"I don't think so." Andie replied as Roy flicked the beam of the little light into first one eye and then the other.

Smoothly Roy slid the light back into his pocket with one hand, and grasped Andie's right wrist gently with the other. He glanced down at his watch and after a few seconds he moved the hand from her wrist to her abdomen and again looked down at his watch. Next focusing his attention back on Andie's frightened eyes Roy quarried "You have any pain anywhere besides your arm?"

"Well, I don't really know." Andie honestly confessed. "My arm hurts so much; I don't really feel anything else."

"Well, I'm just gonna check your tummy here and you tell me if anything hurts. O.K.?" Roy said as if asking for permission although he had already gently began to palpate Andie's abdomen and pelvis, followed by her chest and ribs.

"Ouch! " Andie exclaimed as Roy's fingers gently prodded her ribs on the left side of her body, and her shoulder. Again she tried to pull away from his probing hands.

"It's all right. You just relax. I'm done for now." Roy crooned as he withdrew a small pad from his breast pocket and began making notes. "I need you to sit here and try not to move for a minute Andie, can you do that for me?" Roy said as he stood, still looking into her hazel eyes.

"Yeah. Where are you going?" She said suddenly frightened the man was about to leave her alone.

"I'm just going to run over to the squad here and get my equipment so I can start taking care of you." Roy answered comfortingly.

"Oh…all right." Andie replied weakly.

Suddenly a man's voice screamed "Get down! It's gonna blow!"

Andie saw Roy turn to look in the direction of the yelling man. She witnessed a look of absolute horror cross Roy's face, and then a deafening explosion rocked everyone's world.

Andie screamed as she watched Roy sprint away yelling "Chet! Get Johnny."

Sounds of water spraying could be heard. From Andie's vantage point still sitting in the car, she really couldn't see what had just happened. All she knew was that in a few minutes instead of Roy returning, a rather handsome dark haired, and very wet man limped over to her car.

"Hi, I'm Johnny Gage. My partner is going to go over and check the driver of the semi, and I'm gonna take care of you." The man said. "You just hang on, I'm gonna go get some equipment, and we'll get you fixed up."

* * *

><p>Fred emerged from the darkness of unconsciousness to the noise of what seemed to be a huge explosion. Next there were sounds of men yelling, followed by banging and scraping on the truck door and the groan of metal being twisted as the cab of his truck was pried open. Turning his aching head slightly, the truck driver's brown eyes met deep brown eyes set within a mustached face.<p>

"Hey amigo, I'm Marco." The man said to Fred. "How ya doin?"

"I don't know." Fred said as he attempted to rise from his slumped position on the right side of the driver's seat and gear shift.

"No, no, no….don't move." Marco said as he placed a gentle hand on Fred's shoulder. "We have a paramedic headed over here. He'll check you out and we'll get you taken care of. You just sit still. O.K.?"

Fred acquiesced and relaxed back into his awkward position while allowing his eyes to close. In a couple of minutes he opened his eyes to find himself staring in to the face of a blond haired blue eyed man. "Hey there, welcome back." Roy said as he continued to run his hands over Fred's arms and legs. "Can I get you to stay awake for me sir?" Roy continued as he palpated Fred's head and collarbones. "What's your name sir?"

"Fred…..Fred Brewster." Fred replied flinching as Roy's fingers found the place on his skull where a few short minutes ago he had impacted with the driver's side window.

"Sorry about that Fred. I need to check you out so we can get you out of here." Roy remarked comfortingly as he slipped his pen light out of his pocket. "Do you know what happened to you?" Roy quarried as he flicked the pen light into first one eye then the other.

The horrible onslaught of light caused Fred to flinch and attempt to scrunch his eyes closed. He'd have succeeded too if Roy hadn't been using a thumb to gently but firmly keep whichever eye he was torturing open.

"I was in a wreck." Fred said now irritated at the man who seemed intent on causing him agony.

"Light hurts your eyes, huh?" Roy said as he replaced the light in his pocket and withdrew a pad to make notes.

"Yeah!" Fred said with undisguised disgust and irritation.

Roy smiled comfortingly down at Fred now. "Yeah, sorry about that. Looks like you hit your head?"

"Yeah. The truck started to slide and I whacked myself on the window." Fred replied.

"Can you tell me how old you are?" Roy inquired.

"42." Fred replied closing his eyes again. He felt something being wrapped around his left upper arm.

"That's good." Roy said. "Do you know what day today is?"

"Yeah….Monday….All day long!" Fred grumpily answered as he felt what turned out to be a blood pressure cuff being inflated on his arm.

Roy chuckled as he noted the blood pressure and let the remaining air hiss from the cuff. "Bet it's been a heck of a day already for you, huh?" He said good naturedly.

"You got that right brother!" Fred declared. He really just wanted to be left alone so he could go to sleep. Letting his heavy lids drop, Fred hoped the irritating man would just finish what he needed to do and go away.

Gentle hands were shaking Fred now. "Sir, Sir…come on Fred, I need for you to try and stay awake for me now." Roy insisted.

Fred opened his eyes to peer into the man's intense blue gaze. "You are really annoying! You know that?" Fred declared.

Roy chuckled again saying "So I have been told. I'll introduce you to my partner here in a minute. You two can commiserate on how annoying I am." Roy remarked and smiled as he began to package Fred up for transport.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fragile**

**Chapter 3**

After packaging Fred up for transport using proper spinal precautions, Roy loaded him onto the gurney. The EMT's from Mayfair whisked the patient away as Roy strode deliberately over to Captain Stanley.

"Hey cap, that third ambulance isn't here yet. Would it be all right if we transport both patients in one ambulance? That way one of us can ride in with the patients and the other can drive the squad while you guys finish clean up." Roy suggested.

Stanley who had been supervising the recently arrived foam truck and additional engine turned to eye his paramedic suspiciously. "O.K., that's not a problem. I'll cancel the third ambulance." He replied as he fished his radio out of his pocket. When Roy turned to walk away Stanly who hadn't finished talking with dispatch placed a halting hand on his senior paramedic's sleeve. When he had completed using the radio and slipped it back into his pocket Stanley turned a questioning gaze on Roy. "Any particular reason you are requesting this? Did you have a certain medic in mind to ride in that ambulance?"

Roy loved his Captains quick perceptions. It was one of the many endearing things about working with the man. Cap really cared about the well being of his crew. Like it or not, the men of 51's knew Cap was always keeping a watchful eye on them to insure their safety was protected.

"Uh, yeah actually. I think Johnny needs to get checked out." Roy replied.

"I agree." Stanley said slapping his senior medic on the shoulder. "If he gives you any lip, give me a shout. O.K.?"

"Will do Cap." Roy said smiling broadly as he walked away from his commanding officer.

Johnny treated and packaged Andie for transport with the help of Reggie Jennings, the second medic from squad 36. When the men picked up Andie's back board to carry her to the ambulance, Roy directed them to load her into the ambulance with Fred, the semi driver. Johnny didn't question the arrangement. Neither patient was critical, and by transporting them in the same ambulance one of the paramedics from station 51 could ride with both patients while the other drove their squad to Rampart.

After depositing Andie onto the bench seat Johnny turned to step down from the ambulance only to be greeted by Roy who was reaching up with the drug box and biophone in his hand. "Here Junior, you ride in with these two. I'll bring the squad in. Oh, and when we get to Rampart be advised they are expecting _three_ patients in this ambulance." He said as he began closing the back doors of the vehicle.

"Huh?" Johnny said stopping the second door with his hand before Roy could close it. "Where's the third?"

Roy pointed his finger at Johnny. "Right there." He said as he firmly pushed the door closed.

Johnny sighed heavily as he turned back into the ambulance and found a seat on the bench at the end of Andie's back board.

Fred, who had been listening to the encounter with interest, chuckled softly. "You must be Roy's partner." The man said from his backboard.

Johnny leaned over the gurney so that the two men could make eye contact. "Yeah, Hi. Sorry, I'm John Gage. What's your name sir?"

"I'm Fred Brewster." The man on the gurney said with a sly smile.

"Hey Fred, this here is Andie." John said gesturing to the woman on the bench seat. Andie who'd been given morphine for her broken arm said a mumbled hello to Fred before drifting off to sleep.

"So what makes you ask if I'm Roy's partner?" Johnny inquired as he checked the drip rate on both his patient's I.V.s.

Fred chuckled again and ruefully remarked "'Cause he promised he'd introduce you and me when I told him how annoying he was after he flashed that stupid light into my eyes then kept pestering me to stay awake. He said you and me could probably commiserate."

Johnny leaned over the backboard so Fred and he would be making eye contact and deliberately rolled his eyes with a very pained expression etched across his face. "Yeah. He can be a royal pain, that's for sure." Johnny said.

Fred smiled at the paramedic warmly now. "Yeah, I guessed that. Why'd he make you ride in the ambulance? I'm guessing by your reaction it probably should have been his turn?"

"Well, no…either one of us could have done it really. That's not what it was about." Johnny replied.

"Oh?" Fred said puzzled now. "You seemed sort of miffed when he shut that door in your face."

Johnny couldn't help but chuckle. There was a long pause and a deep breath from Johnny followed by a lengthy sigh. "That's just Roy's way of telling me _I_ am the third patient in this ambulance." He confessed.

The man on the backboard guffawed heartily now. "Ah!" he said when he finally stopped laughing. "What happened to you? I mean, why does he think you need to go to the hospital?"

"Did you hear that explosion earlier?" Johnny questioned.

"Yeah, it's what brought me around after the wreck." Fred replied.

"Well, let's just say it caught a piece of me." Johnny replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"I'm guessing Roy is sort of pushy about stuff like that?" Fred said, obviously enjoying the notion he wasn't the only person who had been harassed by the irritating paramedic.

Johnny chuckled now unable to miss Fred's ire at his partner. "Yeah. He can be. But, in his defense Fred, it's probably for our own good."

"I guess." Fred grumbled.

Johnny and Fred kept up the small talk until the ambulance arrived at Rampart. After they had backed into the emergency entrance bay, Roy, a couple of orderlies with a gurney and Dixie with a wheelchair greeted them when the ambulance doors were opened. One of the orderlies lifted the end of the backboard while Johnny picked up the other and walked it to the edge of the ambulance compartment where the other orderly took it and the two men in white lowered Andie onto a hospital gurney before she was wheeled inside. Next the guys from Mayfair slid the stretcher bearing Fred out of the vehicle.

As Fred passed Johnny he smiled up at the paramedic. "Take care Johnny." He said.

"You too Fred. Guess it's time for both of us to go in and face the music huh." Johnny replied smiling at the man.

Fred sighed and Johnny heard a grumbled "Guess so." From the trucker as the stretcher was rolled into the building.

Roy reached up offering his partner a helping hand to step out of the ambulance. "Come on Junior, your charlotte awaits." He said

Johnny rolled his eyes at his partner hopping down from the vehicle without assistance. "I'm fine Roy. I don't need a wheelchair." He defiantly sassed.

Dixie crossed her arms over her chest and with a meaningful glare at the young paramedic she cleared her throat loudly. Johnny's brown eyes took in the head nurse's body language and facial expression and he sighed heavily again.

Grumbling incoherently under his breath, and shooting an angry glower at Roy, Johnny walked over and reluctantly sat down in the wheelchair.

* * *

><p>Johnny had the pleasure of being treated by Dr. Mike Morton. The Doctor did his usual thorough job with his customarily poor bedside manner. It turned out Johnny had some first and second degree burns on his thigh and calf, and after having the injury swabbed down with some soothing Silvadene, Johnny's leg was bandaged up carefully and he was released for duty with instructions to keep the burns clean. With extra burn cream and bandages in hand, the patient, …um… paramedic strolled out of the treatment room followed closely by his mother hen…er..paramedic partner.<p>

"I told you it wasn't that bad." Johnny tossed over his shoulder to Roy as they headed toward the nurses' station.

"Yeah well, it pays to be careful Junior. Besides, you always say things are fine whether they are or not." Roy chided as they stepped up to Dixie's desk.

"So how are you Johnny." Dixie said, her smiling blue eyes carefully inspecting the younger medic.

"I'm fine Dix, just like I said." Johnny replied defensively glaring briefly at Roy who was standing behind him.

"Well, we want to keep it that way handsome." She flirted gently reaching out to pat the medic's cheek.

"So how are our patients?" Johnny inquired attempting to shift the focus away from him.

"Both of them will be staying at least tonight with us. The truck driver has a concussion, and the young woman has a broken left humorous, and some bruised ribs." Dixie replied.

"How about the passenger from the cable truck?" Roy asked.

"He has a skull fracture, broken wrist, and a couple of broken ribs from the seat belt. I'd say he was pretty lucky." Dixie answered.

"Yeah, I'd say." Johnny remarked. "His partner was DOA. Severe head trauma. He never had a chance."

For a long moment the harsh reality of what Johnny had said lingered in the air between the three professionals.

Changing the subject Roy draped an arm over Johnny's shoulder. "Come on Junior, we gotta get back to the barn before they send a search party out for us."

The two paramedics waved goodbye to Dixie, and strolled out of the emergency room.

After stowing their gear in the side compartment of the squad, Johnny and Roy climbed into the cab. Roy started the engine and shifted the heavy duty vehicle into gear.

Johnny sat quietly in the passenger's seat for a few minutes. He had been the first person to run over to the cable truck. The memories of the driver and his partner were very fresh in John's mind. He had noticed the driver of the cable truck was a burly blond haired guy about Roy's age, and the other guy was a dark headed man with a similar body build to Johnny's own. He wondered about the two men now. Had they been friends? Were they close?

Turning to Roy, Johnny said "Those two guys, ya know….the ones from the cable truck."

"Yeah." Roy replied with a quick sideways look at Johnny. "What about 'em?"

" You never got a look at 'em, huh? That could've been us Roy. They even sort of physically resembled us. The driver was a blond husky guy, and the passenger was a skinny brunette. It could've been us." Johnny said.

Roy hadn't seen the two men; in fact he hadn't even laid eyes on the survivor because he'd been taking care of Andie, the blond woman from the sports car. "No, I didn't see 'em Junior." He murmured.

The two rode in silence for a few moments before Johnny continued. "I guess ya just never know, huh. They were probably ridin' along, like we are now….when all hell broke loose. I'm sittin here thinkin' about all the plans you and I made for tomorrow evening, or next weekend, or next month. What if it had been us? None of our plans would have happened. Everything changed for those two guys in the blink of an eye."

A long silence filled the cab of squad 51. Finally Roy spoke. "Life's funny like that. I guess the safety we think we have around us is sort of an illusion really. In the blink of an eye, it can all be gone. Life's fragile I suppose."

Johnny had been carefully listening to Roy, and he was nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess you're right…. It's sort of scarey, ya know." He said looking at Roy as the truck came to a stop in front of the station.

"Yeah. Sort of makes ya want to pay attention and enjoy every moment. Jo says goodbye to me every time I leave to go on shift. Even if we've been fighting or whatever, she still says she loves me and wishes me a safe shift because she says our job is dangerous and she wants to make sure I know she loves me no matter what happens." Roy solemnly remarked as he backed the rescue vehicle into its slot in the apparatus bay.

The conversation waned then as the paramedics climbed out of the cab. Silently the men walked into the day room and safely joined their crew mates.

In the next few hours station 51 enjoyed an uncharacteristically slow shift. Johnny and Roy were called out for two minor runs requiring no transport, and the engine crew didn't have a single call. Stoker prepared a fine meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans, and the men enjoyed their food undisturbed by the klaxon.

A friendly card game was organized, and the crew was enjoying some comfortable fellowship when the tones sounded just after 7:30 p.m. Cards were tossed hastily on the table as firemen scrambled for vehicles while Captain Stanley noted the call information. The rescue would be for another MVA, this one at the intersection of 223rd street and Avalon Boulevard. Dispatch noted two vehicles were involved and an ambulance had been responded to the scene.

"Make a right" Johnny directed as Roy pulled the squad from the bay. The call was very near the station, and both men realized it was a major intersection.

"Got it Junior." Roy said as he flipped on the siren, and accelerated with engine 51 following him into the right hand turn and down the road.

Traffic on 223rd was relatively light, and the fire trucks made good time to the scene. As the men arrived they found a pickup truck had t-boned a two door older model passenger car.

Mike blocked the wreck from passing traffic by angling the engine across the portion of the intersection involved. When the engine came to a stop Captain Stanley ordered his linemen to pop battery cables, and then headed over to where the squad had parked to direct his paramedics. Reaching the open driver's side window of the squad Cap directed Roy to check out the truck, and Johnny the car.

Roy shifted the squad into park and climbed out preparing to get a better look at the accident scene. Johnny bolted from the passenger's side of the rescue vehicle heading for the car.

"_Geeze, that car is messed up pretty bad on the driver's side."_ Johnny thought as he walked around the end of the wrecked auto. Coming within a couple feet of the coupé the medic could hear sounds of children whimpering from the faded red car.

Roy dashed from the squad heading for the truck that had been involved in the collision. The truck driver had opened his door, and was standing beside it when Roy reached him. "Hello there Sir, I'm Roy DeSoto. How are you feelin?" Roy called as he approached the driver.

Johnny slipped around to the passenger's side window of the red coupe, and leaning down he peered inside. Johnny's jaw dropped in horrified shock at the scene his eyes found inside the vehicle, and he stood suddenly yelling "Cap, I need you over here NOW!"

Stanley hearing his junior paramedic's request and observing Johnny's obvious agitation dashed over to the car where Johnny had now begun to attempt to force the passenger's door open.

"What have you got John?" he inquired.

"Cap! This is JoAnne DeSoto's car!" Johnny exclaimed urgently.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fragile**

**Chapter 4**

Captain Stanley called out to Chet who had been inspecting the car for leaking gasoline. "Hey Kelly, get me a pry bar Pal."

"Sure thing Cap!" the mustached lineman replied and jogged away from the car to retrieve the requested instrument from the engine.

"It's not gonna budge." Johnny said through clenched teeth as he pulled repeatedly at the door handle.

Roy found the pickup driver had a small knot on his forehead and a small freely bleeding laceration on his left temple where the man's eyeglass frame had broken and cut him just below the hairline. "Have a seat sir, and I'll run and get some equipment so we can take a look and make sure you are all right." Roy said as he gently steered the driver toward the pickup truck's seat.

On his way to the squad, Roy crossed paths with Marco who had popped battery cables on the car, and was headed over to the pickup. "What have we got over there? Roy inquired of his crewmate gesturing toward the wrecked car.

"Don't know yet. Cap and John are trying to get in through the passenger's side door to check." Marco replied as he moved on over to lift the hood of the truck.

Roy retrieved the drug box, biophone and first aid kit before heading back over to care for the truck driver. After taking a quick set of vitals, and cleaning up the head wound, Roy called the man's information into Rampart. Dr. Brackett allowed he'd prefer to see the man at Rampart, but the truck driver had other ideas, and signed a release form declining further treatment.

While Chet was running for the extrication tool, Johnny continued to work on the door. When Chet had gotten the pry bar, he jogged back over to the beat up car and began attempting to force open the passenger's side door. Johnny and Captain helped, and shortly the three men had managed to force their way into the car.

As the door began to painfully groan open Johnny looked up and noticed Roy coming toward the car. "Cap,… Roy." Johnny said gesturing toward his approaching partner.

Roy closed up his equipment, and picking up the cases he briskly walked toward the battered red Charger. From looking at the scene Roy could see the pickup had obviously hit the car almost dead center where he knew from experience the main support beam of the car frame would be, and the impact of the collision had thrown the car sideways several feet. The driver's side window safety glass had cracked into a million pieces, but not broken in completely and Roy found he could not see through the mass of cracked glass to get a look at the vehicle's occupants. "_Hmmm…. This is the same kind of car as JoAnne's. Looks like it handled the impact pretty well. Hope no one was hurt too badly….. Guess it's good to know Jo's car would come out pretty well in a crash like this."_ Roy vaguely mused as he strode the few feet from the pickup to the car.

* * *

><p>Glancing at her watch JoAnne noted the time. 7:15. "It's Monday night for heaven's sake." She said aloud grumpily. <em>"They were supposed to be done with this Cub Scout meeting by seven o'clock. Doesn't that scout master realize my kids need to get home to bed? Tomorrow is a school day for goodness sake." <em>Her mind fumed.

Jennifer who was sitting in the back seat playing with a Barbie doll looked up at her Mother's remark. "Yeah, it's Monday Mom. Why?" She asked, not understanding the irritation in JoAnne's tone, or the reason JoAnne had mentioned the day of the week.

JoAnne turned to gaze at her daughter and replied "Oh nothing sweetheart. Mom's just feeling grumpy. I was thinking tomorrow is a school day, it's almost bedtime for you and Chris, and his Cub Scout meeting still isn't over yet."

"Oh, o.k." Jennifer said, and her attention wondered back to her Barbie as the pair continued to wait.

JoAnne was just about to impatiently hop out of the car and knock on the front door when suddenly it opened and a small flood of children poured out. Seeing Chris as he stepped outside JoAnne touched the horn lightly, and waved for him to come over. Spotting his Mother's car, Chris ran to the passenger's side door and climbed into the back seat.

"Hey honey, I was beginning to think I was going to have to come in and get you." JoAnne said as she turned the key in the ignition.

"We were learning about fire safety, ya know….for when we go on our camp out next month." Chris replied as he buckled himself into the seat belt.

"Oh?" JoAnne said as she pulled away from the curb.

"Yeah. Mr. Johnson was telling us how to put out the fire. 'Course I already knew about all that stuff from camping with Dad and Uncle Johnny." Chris said with a toothy grin reminiscent of his father's.

JoAnne glanced briefly at him in the rear view mirror. "_He reminds me so much of Roy!"_ Jo Anne thought as she turned onto Avalon Boulevard heading toward 223rd street.

"Chris, they can't help they don't have a fireman Dad and fireman Uncle Johnny." Jennifer said as she leaned toward her brother in the seat.

"That's right." JoAnne agreed as she took her foot from the accelerator because the light half a block ahead at 223rd street was red. JoAnne let the car coast closer to the intersection and when she came to within ten miles an hour of a complete stop, the light changed to green. JoAnne smiled and stepped on the gas to accelerate through the cross street.

As she smoothly sailed under the green traffic signal, suddenly she heard the terrible howling of brakes on pavement off to her left. JoAnne glanced out her window to see a faded brown pickup less than two feet from her car. Her eyes met those of the man behind the wheel of the truck, and her mouth fell open in a stunned gasp of terrified surprise.

JoAnne screamed "Hang on kids!" And then there was the dull harsh sound of metal slamming into metal, followed by tortured metal bending as the truck plowed into the side of the DeSoto car. JoAnne's temple slammed into the glass as she felt a searing pain explode in her leg, while she heard and felt the grinding snap of bone splintering. The blackness claimed her then, and she felt the world slip away from her and become only a cold aching void.

When JoAnne screamed for her children to hold on, Chris grabbed onto his sister pulling her toward him. She ended up almost lying across his lap, with her seat belt securing her waist to the car seat.

Jennifer in turn grabbed onto her brother's legs as the two vehicles met with a sound resembling a large can of tomato souse or green beans falling from the grocery store shelf, and their car began to slide sideways. The sound of tires forced to move in an unnatural direction across pavement almost reminded Jennifer of the squeak of her brother's tennis shoes when he drug his feet across the hallway floor at home.

Both children heard glass breaking, and saw the window next to their mother fragment into a giant kaleidoscope through which the evening sunset danced and sparkled in a weirdly dazzling display. The crack of bone and their mother's cry of agony only intensified the horrible scene for the two stunned kids. Those few moments lasted an infinite eternity. Then there was an absolute lack of sound, perhaps by contrast to the cacophony of noise they'd just experienced.

Jennifer's frightened blue eyes looked up into Chris's equally terrified azure gaze. Both children remained for an undetermined moment or hour, suspended in the aftermath of the calamity. Then each began to regain their senses and tears began to flow. They called for their mother, yet she didn't answer, and the lack of her assuring voice terrified them more than all the noises and motion they'd experienced in these past horrific minutes.

The children sat crying in the car, in that erie silence following the car wreck. Even the sounds of passing traffic had seemed to stop as the moment seemed to draw itself out into eternity. Until two sets of young ears found an approaching sound of comfort. In the distance, Chris and Jennifer heard the wail of sirens.

"They're coming." Chris said simply. Jennifer nodded, and both children sat clutching one another, sniffing and sobbing softly as they waited for the charge of the cavalry to arrive with flashing red lights, strong arms and comforting hands.

* * *

><p>"Get started checkin 'em out Johnny." Cap said as he left the car to meet Roy before he got around to the passenger's side of the vehicle.<p>

"What've we got Cap." Roy said when Stanley met him behind the trunk of the car.

"Roy…pal, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just spit it out. Your family is in the car." Captain Stanley said as he placed a firm hand on Roy's shoulder.

For a second, Roy thought he must be hearing things. "Huh?" _"Did he just say what I thought he did? No! Couldn't have. It's a school night. JoAnne and the kids are at home. Oh….wait."_ Roy glanced at his watch. It said seven forty-five. "_Oh No! Chris had a cub scout meeting tonight!"_ Roy glanced down at the license plate number of the red car. It was JoAnne's.

Roy's mind whirled. First he panicked. He couldn't breathe right. His mind refused to think. How could it be his family in that car?

Captain Stanley noticed Roy's first reaction of confusion appear. Then Roy looked at his watch, and Cap thought he could almost see Roy's mind processing his family's calendar for the evening. When the look of horror and realization appeared, Hank Stanley was ready for it. He let the pressure of his hand fall just a bit heavier on Roy's shoulder as he gently but firmly squeezed his fingers into Roy's starched uniform shirt.

"Roy, you gonna be all right, or do you need me to call for another squad?" Captain Stanley gently but firmly questioned in a subdued tone. Hank's eyes focused intently on Roy's as he waited to see Roy come back to the present moment, and the duty that lay before him.

Roy's mind might have spun itself out of control, but for that heavy grounding hand on his shoulder. Cap's solid assuring presence and strength led him back from the edge of the abyse and gave him strength. Taking a deep breath, Roy blinked and allowed his eyes to meet his Captain's. "No Cap. I got it." He said noting in his thoughts how strangely normal his own voice sounded in the air. Snapping into paramedic mode, Roy strode around to the passenger's side of the car where Johnny was already beginning to asses JoAnne while gently talking to Chris and Jennifer.

* * *

><p>The pain was excruciating. JoAnne would just prefer to remain in the dark void of unconsciousness. But an oh so familiar voice was calling for her. Then there was more agony, this time new. A blindingly bright beam of light pierced her right eye. She felt a hand on her face, and that voice again. Vainly she struggled to get away from the light. But the hand wouldn't let go. The light moved then, and her left eye was punished.<p>

"Ugh…God….Please stop!" JoAnne moaned. "That hurts."

"Hey….How ya doin there Jo." Johnny said softly to her as he reached for the cervical spine collar Roy was handing him.

JoAnne felt the soft collar being fastened around her neck. Confused, and a bit startled by the confinement she struggled to turn away.

"Take it easy. You're gonna be all right JoAnne. I'm just putting this on you so we can make sure your neck doesn't hurt. It's just a precaution. Relax….." Johnny crooned not releasing his hold on her head. "Can you open your eyes for me Jo? Come on, let me see those beautiful green eyes."

"_Why can't Johnny leave me alone?"_ JoAnne's confused mind grumbled. _"Johnny? Wait a minute. Where did Johnny come from? Why is Johnny talking to me? Where am I? What's going on?"_

Slowly JoAnne opened her eyes to a blurry face. Looking into the swimming mass of color she slowly saw the swirl of shapes congeal into the face of John Gage. "Johnny? Where am I? What happened?"

"She's conscious Roy." Johnny said over his shoulder.

"Hey sweetheart." Roy said from just outside the passenger's side of the car. "You just relax and let Johnny take care of you. You're gonna be just fine hon….."

JoAnne heard Roy's voice and slowly began to really make her way back into the present moment. "Roy?...Johnny?" she said as the puzzle pieces began to slip into place in her head and she began to remember the car accident. Suddenly she gasped "Oh my Gosh! Chris…Jennifer!..."

"Are just fine JoAnne." Johnny soothed as he fitted the blood pressure cuff around her arm. "Roy's gonna get 'em out of the car right now and check 'em out. But they look like they are gonna be just fine."

Unbidden tears began to slip down JoAnne's cheeks now. "They're all right? You're sure?" she quarried in a weak voice.

Johnny let the last of the air hiss from the blood pressure cuff and removed his stethoscope from his ears replying "Yup, and you're gonna be just fine too."

Johnny slid over closer to JoAnne on the front seat so that the seat could be pulled forward to allow Roy to check on the two children in the back of the car.

"JoAnne, I'm gonna check you out to see if anything's broken. O.K.? You let me know if anything hurts." Johnny said as he began to lightly palpate her arms and legs. When he reached her left shin JoAnne groaned.

"Yeah, sorry." Johnny said. "Looks like you might have a little break on your left leg here."

"Yeah….I kinda figured." JoAnne groaned. "Hurts like crazy too Johnny."

"You hang in there Jo, we'll get you all fixed up." Johnny said as he continued his assessment by palpating her pelvis and abdomen.

* * *

><p>Chris and Jennifer heard the fire trucks arrive. The sound's of running feet and then there was Uncle Johnny. Two pairs of frightened blue eyes looked up into comforting and familiar brown ones. Tear stained faces relaxed somewhat with relief realizing Uncle Johnny would help them.<p>

They saw Johnny talking to Captain Stanley, and then he was crawling into the front seat of the car. Johnny leaned his whole body over the front seat to run reassuring hands over small arms and legs, checking them for injury. As he worked Johnny spoke softly. "Hey there guys. Looks like your evening didn't go as planned. I'm just gonna check you out and make sure nothin's broken, o.k. Your Dad will be right over, and we'll get you out. Then he slithered back into the front seat and began to check on their all to silent mother. "I'm gonna have a look at Mom right quick. You guys just hang on, o.k. We'll get you out of here.'

And then the children's eyes found their Father at the car door. "Daddy!" both exclaimed in unison.

"Hey guys. Just hang on. I'll get you out of there in just a second." Roy replied as he began to move the seat forward.

Then strong hands unfastened seatbelts, and again appendages were inspected before Jennifer and Chris found themselves gently lifted out of the car by Dad. Chris went first, and found himself cradled in Captain Stanley's strong arms. Next Jennifer was extricated and Roy and the Captain walked them over to the back bumper of the squad.

"Daddy's just gonna check you out to make sure you're all right." Roy said as he began to fully assess his children for accident trauma.

As he worked, Roy's mind watched in fascination how normal his voice sounded. His hands moved swiftly and surely about their practiced task. Many victims had seen and experienced Roy's calm solid presence in times following trauma. It was just so very strange to see his children here, with his own hands working skillfully to assess them…..were they really the victims? Roy's mind danced on DeNile as his hands functioned independently in paramedic mode.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fragile**

**Chapter 5**

After Roy had removed Jennifer and Chris from the wrecked car, Johnny began the arduous task of extricating JoAnne. Unless they used the jaws to pry open the driver's side door, they would have to take her across the passenger's side of the car which, under normal circumstances probably wouldn't have been a big deal. But with a fractured leg, and any potential spinal injuries was likely going to prove uncomfortable for JoAnne at the very least.

"JoAnne, we're gonna get you out of this car now." Johnny said as Chet and Marco moved up beside the open passenger door wielding a long board.

"O.K." JoAnne murmured, not really sure why Johnny seemed to sound so worried.

Johnny crawled so he was literally hovering over JoAnne's body and carefully attempted to stabilize her injured left leg while Marco slid the backboard onto the car seat and Chet crawled into the car and waited for Johnny's cue.

"Now JoAnne, this might hurt just a little, but I need for you to just relax as much as possible, and let us do all the work. O.K.?" Johnny said as he turned and nodded for Chet to begin.

Still puzzled JoAnne again said "O.K." Then she felt Chet grab her under the arms and pivot her body in the seat as Johnny carefully lifted and controlled her legs. It was at that moment she understood the worry in Johnny's voice. The pain the slight movement caused from her injured leg was past tolerable and she groaned aloud involuntarily.

She heard Johnny hiss an intake of air before he apologized. "I know, I know….I'm sorry Jo. Just relax, we are almost there. It'll be better in just a second." He cooed while the men continued to slide her onto the backboard and lay her down.

"O.K. Marco, we need the splint." Johnny said still not allowing JoAnne's leg to touch the backboard.

Marco climbed into the car and practically lay over JoAnne as he placed a vacuum splint under her leg. When the splint was properly positioned, Johnny gently allowed JoAnne's leg to settle down onto it.

The pain was awful and JoAnne gritted her teeth attempting to stop the involuntary cry that welled up in her throat with each movement of her leg.

"Almost there Jo." Johnny soothed as he secured the splint and used the air pump to set everything in place. "One more little thing, and we'll be ready to move." He said as he gently untied her shoe lace and slipped her shoe from her foot, again causing significant pain.

JoAnne felt her world begin to turn gray as her eyes slipped closed. Mercifully she passed out and never felt the straps of the backboard being secured and the board lifted and removed from the car.

Roy had known getting JoAnne out of the car was going to be a painful experience, and as he finished evaluating Chris and Jennifer he could hear his wife's cries of pain along with Johnny's muffled reassurances. His soul cried out for her as he continued to comfort his children, and set up the biophone for contacting Rampart.

Marco and Chet laid JoAnne's backboard on the ground behind the squad. Johnny followed, and after tossing the air pump back into the splint box, he wiped a hand over his brow and eyes before he knelt to begin treating his patient. Roy turned then and looking at Johnny he could easily see the anguish extricating JoAnne had caused his best friend.

"It had to be done Johnny." Roy said softly, his sad blue eyes regarding his partner gratefully. "I know you were as gentle as you could have been."

Johnny looked up at Roy, raw pain evident in his brown eyes. "I know….I know…." He said as he allowed a long sigh to escape. Thrusting a piece of paper at Roy then Johnny said, "Here…..vitals. She's experienced syncope for the moment, thankfully 'cause I know we're not gonna be able to give her anything for pain with the head injury."

Roy began to relay information to Rampart on his family members. Johnny assembled the I.V. he knew would be ordered. When Roy indicated with a nod that the I.V. had been ordered, Johnny turned and administered the infusion.

JoAnne woke when Johnny stuck her with the I.V. needle. "Ouch!" she cried attempting to move her arm away from the pinch.

An experienced paramedic knew to expect the reaction, and JoAnne's efforts were futile. Johnny held on to her arm, and finished situating the I.V. as he smiled down into her startled green eyes.

"Hey, looks like you're back with us." He said taping the cannula in place on the inside of her forearm. "Almost done here."

"That's what you said last time, and it didn't seem like it before. I'm not trusting you now." JoAnne complained.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that." Johnny replied kindly. He felt awful about the pain he had known she was going to experience, yet as Roy had said it had to be done. Sad brown eyes looked into pain riddled green ones.

JoAnne could see Johnny was upset, and immediately felt bad for him. "I'm sorry Johnny. I know you had to." She said.

"Still doesn't make it any less painful though, huh?" He commiserated as he gently squeezed her hand.

The ambulance arrived, and JoAnne, Chris and Jennifer were loaded up for the ride to Rampart with Johnny. Roy headed for the squad and was about to slide behind the wheel when Chet met him at the door of the rescue vehicle.

"You are in the passenger's seat pal, Cap's orders." Chet said placing a kindly hand on his friend's shoulder.

Roy's surprised blue eyes met Chet's gentle gaze. "Oh…O.K." He said as he numbly trudged around the vehicle and meekly climbed into the passenger's seat. Captain Stanley met Roy as he climbed into the squad and closed the door for him. Leaning into the window Stanley rested a comforting hand on Roy's shoulder and the two men's eyes met.

"They're gonna be just fine Roy. When you get to Rampart, you take care of your family. I'll call in a replacement for you for the rest of the evening." Stanley said, then with a gentle pat to Roy's shoulder he turned and strode back toward the engine and supervision of the accident clean up.

Inside the ambulance Jennifer and Chris huddled on the bench seat with their Uncle Johnny. Placing an arm around each child, Johnny gently held them and allowed them to talk with their mother. JoAnne put on a brave face for her children, and they for her. Still, each seemed to draw a measure of comfort from the presence of the other.

Johnny could feel the tension in the children's bodies as he held them close. He rubbed gentle mindless circles with his fingers on each child's arm as he allowed them to lean into his lean body and draw strength and comfort while they rode. Johnny knew the adrenaline would wear off soon, and he wanted to make sure the kids had his strength to draw on when the inevitable shakiness of shock set in.

When the ambulance and squad reached Rampart JoAnne was whisked away to a treatment room with Roy in tow. Johnny went with Chris and Jennifer to another treatment room where he waited with them while Dr. Early checked them over to insure there were no hidden injuries. When Chris and Jennifer were cleared to go, Johnny took them to the doctor's lounge where the three sat together on the sofa. Chet met the trio in the lounge, and offered to run down to the cafeteria to gather up a snack and some milk for the kids while they all waited for news of JoAnne.

When Chet had left the room Johnny, Chris and Jennifer sat in silence for a long while. Jennifer climbed into Johnny's lap and he cradled her gently as he rocked ever so slightly. Chris snuggled into his side and Johnny could feel the children begin to come down from the adrenaline high of the accident.

Softly Johnny began to talk to Chris and Jennifer. He knew it didn't really matter what he said, as long as they had his voice to comfort them, so he began to tell an old tale from his childhood. His soft deep voice was soothing, and he felt the two children beginning to relax and breathe more evenly. As she allowed herself to relax, Johnny felt Jennifer begin to tremble ever so slightly. Her big blue eyes peered fretfully up at him. He smiled gently down at her and squeezed her arm comfortingly as he continued to speak in a soft soothing tone. Chris too began to settle into Johnny's side, and Johnny felt Chris begin to tremble as well.

"It's all right guys." He soothed. "I know the wreck was scary for you, and you might feel a little bit shaky and weak right now. But it's all right. The shaking is just your body's way to let go of some of the energy it was holding because you were scared in the accident. You just relax, and I'll sit here with you until you are feeling stronger. It's normal to feel this way. Happens to me all the time when I've been into something scary. When I let myself relax, I end up feeling shaky for a little while. Just let it happen. Stay with me, and when it's over you'll be all sleepy and tired."

Johnny could see the surprise in Jennifer's eyes as tears began to slip from them. "Really, Uncle Johnny?" She said.

"Yeah babe, really. Ask your Dad. Happens all the time." Johnny said smiling down warmly at her.

Chris was shivering now and said, "Feels like I'm cold."

Johnny pulled Chris in closer and squeezed him a little more firmly. "I know. You just hang on to me, and I'll keep you warm."

As if perfectly timed, Chet walked into the lounge bearing a tray with snacks and milk. Glancing over to Johnny and the children on the sofa, the veteran fireman didn't have to be told what was going on. Chet's gaze met Johnny's and a silent message passed between them.

"How 'bout I go get us a couple of blankets." Chet said. He put the tray down, and turned to leave the room again.

When Chet returned this time, he'd brought two warmed blankets with him. Taking a seat on the sofa he draped one of the blankets around Chris as he scooped the child up in strong arms, and held him.

The other blanket was given to Johnny who repeated the process with Jennifer. For a long while the two macho firemen sat cradling trembling children. Gentle murmurs were all that were uttered in the silence of the room.

When both children had stopped trembling, each dozed off into a sound slumber. Roy walked into the doctor's lounge to discover the tableau of his friends holding his sleeping children.

Without a word, Johnny moved to the corner of the sofa, and Chet moved to the other. Johnny glanced up at his partner. "Come on partner. Sit down." He directed.

Roy thought to protest, but as he opened his mouth to speak Johnny shook his head slightly and raised his eyebrows. Roy sighed, and acquiesced. When he sat, Johnny gently bumped him with a shoulder. Then deep coffee colored eyes met troubled blue ones, and Roy knew after all they'd been through together he wouldn't be able to hide from his partner. Roy closed his eyes and leaned back into the sofa cushions, allowing his head to rest on the sofa. Taking a free hand, Johnny spread the blanket covering Jennifer out wider so it draped over Roy.

The three men and two children sat for some time unmoving. After a time, Johnny softly asked "How's Jo?"

Drawing a shuddering breath Roy answered softly, "She's gonna be fine. They are gonna keep her for at least one night, maybe two. She's got a mild concussion, and clean fracture of the tibia."

"Pretty scary, huh." Johnny said without preamble.

Roy who was also feeling somewhat shaky replied "Yeah….pretty scary."

Knowing Roy as he did, Johnny realized Roy wouldn't want to feel the helplessness of fate dealing such a hand. The randomness of an accident visited upon one's own family would be tough to take, but especially difficult for a person like Roy who always seemed to keep things carefully in perspective, carefully under control. Johnny also knew Roy didn't like the adrenaline come down any more than he himself did. Carefully observing his partner, Johnny could see it was time for a little encouragement.

Leaning his body over slightly, Johnny gently nudged his partner with a shoulder. "Relax partner. She's safe now. You can let go too. There was nothing you could've done to stop this, so don't go beating yourself up. It happens, and we took care of 'em afterwards like we always do. Now breathe Roy…"

Chet glanced over at Roy who was again sitting with his head back and eyes closed. "Relax man. You can't stop life. It happens. Sit there and let yourself come down so you don't wake up screaming tonight. We all know how it is. You gotta let your body bleed off the adrenaline or it'll just catch you when you're not ready."

Roy hated how right they were. Anyone who did a high stress dangerous job knew what happened when you stopped moving. In this instance Roy had to admit he'd have preferred to run it off. But Johnny and Chet were right. In a few minutes he'd have to take his kids home. He needed to find a place inside where he could be solid and calm for them. So as much as he hated it, Roy sat with his friends and felt the aftershocks shiver through his body.

Captain Stanley, Marco Lopez, Mike Stoker and Charlie Dwyer found the three men and two children dozing on the sofa in the doctor's lounge some 45 minutes later. Warm knowing smiles were shared between the four firemen as Captain Stanley gently roused Johnny with a soft shake to the shoulder.

Brown eyes opened, and Johnny's gaze found his crew mates. "Hey guys. We ready to return to duty?"

"Yup, Dwyer will be your partner for the rest of this shift. We waited for him to show up, and we brought Roy's car over with us." Captain Stanley said.

The sound of his Captain's voice woke Chet. Sleepily he stood, and gently snuggled Chris in next to his father. Johnny too stood and placed Jennifer next to Roy's other side.

Movement roused Roy, and he opened his eyes to see his crew mates standing around him.

"We brought your car pal." Cap said as he held out Roy's keys. "It's parked in the ambulance lot, so don't wait too long to get it. We're gonna take off now. Dwyer will cover the rest of your shift. Let me know if we need to cover any others."

"Thanks Cap." Roy sleepily replied as he opened a hand to accept his keys. "I'll call you tomorrow."

The men of 51's said farewell to their crew mate, and silently trooped out of the room leaving Roy and his children sitting quietly on the lounge sofa.


	6. Chapter 6

**Fragile**

**Chapter 6**

Weary firemen trooped out of the emergency entrance for Rampart General Hospital. Charlie Dwyer and John Gage climbed into squad 51. Johnny's heart was heavy, and out of sheer force of habit he climbed into the passenger's side of the rescue vehicle allowing Dwyer to slide behind the wheel. Charlie, after starting the engine of the truck and slipping it into gear covertly studied his partner.

"You gonna be o.k. Gage? I mean, I know you and the DeSoto family are pretty close and all. It had to be rough finding they were your victims."

After crawling into the squad, Johnny's lanky frame was now slumped into the passenger's side door with an elbow resting on the open window allowing him to support his head in his hand.

He sighed heavily bringing his other hand up from his lap to run slim finger through non-regulation length hair. "Yeah, 'm fine Dwyer." He replied wearily. "It's just…. Well, ya know. Never expected the victims in that wreck to be Roy's family. We're just goin along today, and…" snapping his fingers to punctuate his statement, "like that! The day took a pretty darned personal turn. Now we're drivin' away from Rampart leavin' Roy and his whole family at Rampart. If I'd had ta predict how today would turn out, I'd have never come up with this ending."

"I know what you mean." Charlie replied. "I've been out at the beach all day. Soaking in some sun. Checking out some babes. I get home just in time to catch the call from headquarters tellin me I'm up on the OT schedule, and poof! My plans for the evening are all different. I always hate gettin' those calls, ya know. 'Cause a lot of times it means one of my friends is hurt or somethin'. I guess in our line of work, we get lots of chances to be reminded how changeable life is. Goin' along one minute all happy and fine, the next everything's different."

"Yeah, Roy and I were havin' sort of this same conversation earlier today after we worked a three vehicle MVA. There ya are, moving along in your day thinkin' everything's just fine, then in a split second life throws you a curve. It's almost like the world around us we think is all safe and secure, well….that's almost like a mirage or something. Before you know it things just change on ya." Johnny wearily intoned.

"I hear ya." Dwyer said as he stopped to back the squad into the apparatus bay at station 51.

The men of station 51 arrived and resumed availability for duty at almost ten p.m. Everyone filed into the kitchen for an evening snack and beverage. Johnny snagged himself a tall glass of milk and a couple of peanut butter cookies and settled in a chair at the table with the other men.

"It's been a heck of a day." Johnny said as he nibbled a cookie.

"Yeah, no kiddin." Agreed Chet. "Guess sometimes ya just never know."

Conversation lagged between the tired men. It was always rough when one of their ranks was on the receiving end of calamity. But worse than one of them being hurt was the idea they'd had to rescue one of their brother's entire family. Every single man in the station could empathize with Roy, and the idea it could have been any of their own families gave each man pause to contemplate the precariousness of security. After several moments of semi silent munching and sipping, Captain Stanley stood from the table advising his men lights out would be in ten minutes.

The guys of 51's enjoyed little more than two hours of slumber before tones and klaxon snatched them from the land of nod to a structure fire. Men scrambled half asleep from bunks to slide into bunker pants and boots before dashing to awaiting fire trucks. The bay doors rattled their way to the top of their track and the roar of engines crescendo filled the stillness of the evening as the trucks zipped with flashing red lights and the beginning moans of sirens from the safety of the fire station toward chaos.

The crew of station 51 arrived on scene to discover a large warehouse with flames shooting out every opening. The roar of the fire mixed with the pop and creek of strained metal and wood was at once thrilling and horrifying. Surveying the scene, Captain Stanley quickly surmised if there had been anyone in the burning structure, they'd have no chance of still being alive. As other engines began to roar into the area, Stanley being first on scene began issuing commands and the decree this would be a surround and drown situation.

Johnny and Charlie were directed to pull an inch and a half and cover the south side of the building. Placing one foot on Big Red's tailboard, Johnny leapt up to loop several lengths of hose over his arm. In his haste, Johnny had forgotten all about the burn on his left thigh and knee. When he jumped down from the tailboard the heavy lengths of hose slammed into his injury causing the fireman to nearly double over as he recoiled from the searing pain while still burdened with the heavy hose.

Charlie Dwyer hadn't been told about Johnny's earlier injury and seeing Johnny's reaction as he pulled the hose caused Dwyer's paramedic instincts to go on high alert. "Gage?" he inquired as he rescued the loops of hose before they dropped to the ground. "What happened? You all right?"

Johnny who never liked to show weakness quickly gasped a full breath in, and gained some measure of control before answering Dwyer. "I'm fine Dwyer. Burned my leg earlier and I just smacked the burn with the hose is all." He replied as he began to attempt to take the hose from Dwyer.

"You sure that's all it is?" Dwyer said. As one of the C shift paramedics at station 51, Charlie Dwyer was well aware of Johnny's propensity for understating any personal injury or discomfort. "Look Gage, I'm not DeSoto. If you're hurting, you are gonna have to come out and tell me. Got it?" He said as his grey blue eyes bore into Johnny's brown ones.

Snatching the hose nozzle from Charlie's hands Johnny let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah I got it Dwyer! Just 'cause Roy's not here doesn't mean you need to take over his Mother Hen duties. If I need ya, I'll holler."

"Uh huh." Charlie grumbled with obvious mistrust, just loud enough for Johnny to hear as both men lugged the hose toward the raging inferno.

Johnny glowered at his partner briefly before rolling his eyes, and hefting the hose nozzle as the duo headed out in pursuit of the dragon's breath issuing forth from the warehouse before them.

Johnny took the lead on the hose as the pair began to join in quenching the flames. Johnny, though a devoted paramedic, loved to battle the beast. The power of the water thrusting through the hose was thrilling! The crackle and hiss of the fire as water and heat met was extremely satisfying to Gage, and he stayed on lead with the hose until his arms were shaking from the exertion.

Dwyer who had been standing behind Gage felt the other man's fatigue and tapped him on the shoulder to indicate Charlie would be taking the lead. Johnny reluctantly nodded and the pair traded positions. The intensive heat was searing, and the humidity from the now steaming water used to douse the fire made the warmth much more intense. Both medics were drenched with perspiration as they continued to battle the fire.

After about thirty five minutes of pouring water on the structure, the fire was deemed to be under control. Gage and Dwyer were dispatched to rehydrate and rest before beginning clean up. The men stepped over to the engine and retrieved containers of water. Resting on the tailboard of Big Red, Johnny and Charlie opened their turnout coats and drank the cooling water.

For a few moments neither man spoke. Finally Dwyer broke the silence. "Gage, you o.k.?"

Johnny wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Yeah, I'm good. Just hot. You know how it is." He said as he took another mouthful of water. Swallowing his water he looked over at Dwyer. "Hey man, sorry I was so short with ya while ago. I know you were just watching out for me. It's just…..well, ya know…"

Charlie ducked his head as his deep chuckle resounded through the darkness. "Yeah, I do know Johnny. Doesn't matter though. I'm still gonna bug ya. Sometimes you aren't the best at letting people know when you need some help."

Johnny waved him away with hand saying "Don't believe everything Roy says. He over reacts."

"Good to know, but it's not just Roy carrying tales. Besides, if you get hurt on my watch and I don't catch it, Roy'll never let me hear the end of it." Dwyer said as he finished off his water. "Come on partner. Let's go help with clean up." And the two men trotted off to dig in to overhauling the warehouse.

Well after three thirty in the morning the men of station 51 rolled back in quarters. Tired smoky sooty men quickly cleaned up as best they could before falling exhaustedly back into bed.

* * *

><p>After his crew mates left the doctor's lounge, Roy sat shakily with his children on the sofa. He had no idea how long they were there as he too dozed off. When sleepy blue eyes opened, he found Dixie's piercing blue eyes regarding him.<p>

"Roy?" She said.

"Hey Dix. What time is it?" he mumbled while attempting to free his wristwatch from the blanket around Jennifer.

"It's almost midnight Roy. Why don't you take the kids and go home. JoAnne is in a room, and sleeping comfortably. You get the kids home and rest too." She directed as she bent down to pick up a sleeping child.

Roy stood groggily and leaned down to pick up Chris. Sighing heavily he said "Yeah, you're right. I'll get the neighbor to come over and watch them tomorrow morning so I can come back and be with JoAnne."

"Well first, let's just worry about you getting some rest. I'm sure finding someone to stay with them tomorrow won't be a problem. Your shift mates will be off by eight. I'm sure your partner would enjoy spending time with these two." Dixie said softly as she led Roy out to his car.

After Dixie helped him situate the children in his car, Roy drove home. It had been quite a day for the DeSoto family. Arriving at home, Roy gently carried Jennifer and then Chris into their rooms, and after only removing shoes he tucked each child into their beds.

The children safely nestled in their own beds; Roy made his way upstairs to his own bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed he removed his work boots and slipped out of his uniform allowing everything to fall in a heap at his feet. Turning Roy looked at the very empty king sized bed he usually shared with JoAnne. His drowsy mind drifted to thoughts of what if. He could have lost his wife and family tonight. It was impossible to deny when faced with that big empty bed. The woman he loved and his cherished children could have been gone.

He didn't want to think about it. _"I need to get ready for bed. Tomorrow could be a really long day."_

Roy stood wearily and made his way to the restroom to complete his evening ritual. When he had relieved himself, and brushed his teeth Roy returned to the bedroom. Turning back the covers, Roy lowered his stout muscular frame onto the mattress. Rolling onto his side he reached out and pulled JoAnne's pillow to him. Burying his face in the pillow Roy inhaled the sweet smell of JoAnne's scent. He loved his wife so much, and tonight he could have lost her.

"_Go to sleep Roy. You are just tired. Don't think about it."_ His mind prodded attempting to avoid any intense emotions.

Flipping the covers over to envelop himself Roy lay on his side curled around JoAnne's pillow. He felt the helplessness of being at the mercy of fate. Life was so unpredictable. Large strong hands clutched the pillow as Roy allowed his body to settle against the mattress. He felt himself begin to tremble, and unbidden tears began to flow. It wasn't very macho, but what could a man do when he had just been given a glimpse of the suddenness with which life could all change?

Roy didn't know how long he lay awash in unbidden emotion and sensation. When the storm had passed he slipped into a peaceful dreamless slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

**Fragile**

**Chapter 7**

Blessedly, after the crew of L.A. County Fire Station 51 returned from the warehouse fire, they were allowed to sleep until wake up tones sounded. Granted, their remaining night consisted of little more than two hours, but some sleep is better than none.

Mumbled expletives and groans went up from the men when the tones rudely yanked them from slumber. Marco crawled out of bed first. It was his morning to make the coffee, and he was certain he wanted the first cup. Rubbing the grit from his eyes as he pulled on his suspenders the swarthy fireman's booted feet clunked from the dorm across the apparatus bay and into the kitchen.

Dwyer rolled over in his bunk growling something unintelligible as he snatched the pillow from under his head to cover his face.

Cap slowly swung his long legs from his bunk and reaching up for the ceiling he enjoyed a deep stretch followed by a vocal yawn. "Come on guys, up and at 'em." He said rising slowly as he pulled suspender straps over his shoulders.

Johnny slid his arm from over his face and blinked in the morning light. Flipping the covers off his body, he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed finding a stinging reminder of the burns intruding with a white hot flash of pain from his left leg. Gritting his teeth while drawing in a breath created an audible hiss as Johnny inadvertently reacted to the sensation.

Captain Stanley who was now standing facing Johnny's bed raised questioning eyebrows in his junior paramedic's direction. "Burns bothering ya?"

Johnny sighed as he gingerly moved his leg experimentally. "Yeah. Sorta. Guess I whacked 'em pretty good with the hose at the fire last night, and when we came in I was tired and didn't re-dress 'em before I hit the sack." He replied sullenly.

Stanley stepped over to the end of Dwyer's bunk and gave it a kick. "Hey, Dwyer. Why don't you go ahead and get out of bed and help Gage here take care of those burns on his leg."

Johnny held up a hand to his captain in a gesture designed to stop any action. "I'll take care of it Cap." He hurriedly remarked.

Stanley turned a steady look on Johnny then. "Dwyer will be glad to help you out." He _offered_, and turning to Charlie Dwyer who had now uncovered his face and sat up in bed. Stanley continued, "Won't ya pal?"

Dwyer swung his feet over the edge of the bed into his turnout pants and boots. "Absolutely Cap." He said as he stood quickly and strode out into the apparatus bay to retrieve supplies.

Johnny eyed his Captain with a mixture of astonishment and mild irritation. "Cap?" he began by way of protest.

But Stanley gave him _**THE LOOK**_ they both knew meant Stanley wanted someone besides Johnny to check the injury just to make sure no further attention would be needed.

Johnny sighed heavily as he shook his head and lowered his gaze to his lap. "Yes sir." He replied meekly.

Captain Stanley chose to take the second door out of the dorm so he would walk by Johnny's bunk. As he passed by Cap reached out and lightly clapped Johnny on the shoulder. When Johnny's eyes came up to meet his Captain's a small grin greeted the junior medic and Cap said "Good." It was confirmation for both of the exact intent and meaning of the conversation they'd now completed.

Johnny could never quite get over his commanding officer's ability to make direct orders sound like polite suggestions or offerings. He knew Cap was concerned about the well being of the crew, but somehow Johnny was always a little taken aback when he himself was obliged to succumb to the older man's insistent care giving. Johnny smiled gently up into Cap's gaze. "Thanks Cap." He said softly. The older man released his hold on the younger man's shoulder and stepped out of the way as Charlie Dwyer returned to the dorm carrying the first aid kit and drug box.

Dwyer hadn't missed the interaction between Captain Stanley and Johnny Gage. He couldn't help but grin a little realizing the exchange he'd witnessed was probably an all too familiar one, and likely the reason Johnny seemed to comply when Roy insisted on investigating potential injures for the junior medic.

Squatting in front of Johnny's bunk Dwyer opened the first aid kit. Using the trauma sheers Johnny handed him from his assessment kit, Charlie carefully cut away the bandages on Johnny's leg. Inspecting the dark silver gray color of the burns Dwyer looked up at Johnny. "Did they send you home with some Silvadene?" He inquired.

Johnny sighed heavily. "Yeah. It's in my locker." He sullenly replied.

Charlie couldn't suppress his smirk now. _"Yep, Captain Stanley is a big part of the reason DeSoto keeps Gage in check where injuries are concerned. Good to know._" He pondered as he stepped away from Johnny toward the locker room door. "I'll get it Gage. You hang tight till I get back."

Johnny couldn't miss the play of expressions on Dwyer's face. _"Great! Now whenever I get Dwyer for a partner he's gonna hound me like Roy does by threatening me with telling Cap."_ He thought grimly. "Stop looking so damned smug Dwyer." Johnny called after the retreating medic.

Still chuckling a few moments later, Charlie reappeared through the dorm doorway. "Well, I did always wonder what Roy had on you that shut you down so quick when he thought you might be injured and you were about to complain. Think I've figured it out now." He said as he squatted and began to clean and dress Johnny's burns.

"Shut up Dwyer." Johnny said as he endured the cleaning and bandaging.

When Charlie had cleaned and re-bandaged John's leg he helpfully wrapped the whole thing in plastic wrap and secured it for a water tight seal so Johnny could shower. "There ya go man. Now do us all a favor and hit the showers." He said as he gathered up supplies and garbage.

Johnny couldn't help but grin. "Ha ha ha Dwyer. Like you have any room to talk!" He said then, after a long pause added sincerely, "Thanks Charlie."

Johnny rose from the bed and headed to the latrine to comply with the other man's request.

After showering, Johnny removed the plastic covering from his bandage and donned a fresh uniform. It felt great to be clean, and he had to admit having the burn freshly bandaged made him feel a lot better. Johnny stepped from the locker room into the unsullied morning air in the open apparatus bay. He appreciatively sniffed detecting the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Walking toward the kitchen Johnny heard the laughter and conversation of his crew mates. Pausing briefly behind the squad, Johnny inhaled deeply again forcing himself to stop and take a second to appreciate the beauty of this moment. Who knew what today would bring. If he'd learned anything from the past twenty four hours, he had certainly grown some desire to stop and smell the roses….or coffee as the case may be.

* * *

><p>Roy awoke from his dreamless slumber to a house without sound or fragrance. The morning light had just begun to glow through his bedroom window, and Roy took his time moving from sleep into wakefulness. Allowing his mind to sift through the events of the previous evening Roy found by morning's light he could ferret out a way to move forward.<p>

His wife and children had been in a car accident, and Roy allowed himself a few moments to ponder briefly the what ifs. Then his practical side took charge and Roy began to make plans for the day. First he'd need to arrange for someone to keep the kids today. He needed to get back over to Rampart to see about JoAnne. The Harrison's who lived next door would likely be able to help out today. If JoAnne were going to need to spend another night at Rampart, Roy knew he could ask Johnny to come over and stay at the DeSoto home with Jennifer and Chris.

A rudimentary plan conceived in his mind, Roy crawled from under the covers to set the day in motion. After taking care of urgent morning business, he showered and shaved. Dressing in a button down baby blue shirt and jeans, Roy stepped out of the bedroom to go down and prepare breakfast for his children. There was a day to get moving, and children to attend. Having a plan in place gave Roy the structure he needed to move forward.

* * *

><p>B shift relieved A shift at the appointed hour. After changing clothes and packing his duffle, Johnny packed Roy's bag and took it with him as he left the station. On the way out he crossed paths with Captain Stanley.<p>

"Hey Cap. I'm gonna run by Roy's and drop off his stuff. Thought I'd check and see if he is gonna need anyone to help with the kids today." Johnny remarked.

"John, you call and let me know if there's anything we need to do to help." Cap answered. Hank Stanley really enjoyed how close his crew was. Any of the men would gladly pitch in when one of them was in need. It was natural to see Johnny easily step in to take care of his partner. Hank smiled at his junior medic's departing form reflecting what a lucky guy Hank Stanley was to command such a tight knit group of firemen.

"Will do Cap." Johnny said as he headed over to his vehicle. Starting the engine of his Rover, Johnny deftly steered the truck out of the station parking area and into traffic on 223rd street.

* * *

><p>Roy was sitting at his kitchen table sipping coffee when he heard Johnny's truck pull into the DeSoto driveway. Smiling to himself at his friend's dependable thoughtfulness, Roy stood and walked to the front door so Johnny wouldn't wake the kids by knocking. It was only seven thirty and Roy hoped his kids would sleep a while longer. Johnny must have left to come over to Roy's place right after getting off shift.<p>

Roy opened his front door as Johnny stepped onto the porch. Looking at Johnny, Roy could see by the dark lines under his partner's eyes what sort of evening they'd likely had at station 51.

"You guys get a late call last night?" Roy quarried as he ushered Johnny into the house with a wave of his hand.

"Yeah. Warehouse fire around midnight. Guess we didn't make it back to bed 'till around four this morning." Johnny commented as he stepped past Roy into the living room. Dropping Roy's duffle on to one of the recliners in the room Johnny said, "Here, I brought your bag and dirty clothes from your locker."

Roy closed the front door and turning he walked back into the kitchen. "Come on in. I have fresh coffee made."

Johnny followed his partner into the DeSoto kitchen and helped himself to some coffee. "Thanks." He said sipping the hot brew as he seated himself at the table.

"I'm about to cook some breakfast. You hungry?" Roy asked as he began to shuffle in one of the cupboards for a couple of pans.

"Yeah, Breakfast sounds good. How 'bout I help." Johnny replied as he stood and carried his coffee over to the stove where Roy was standing.

The two men efficiently prepared a breakfast of pancakes and sausage. Coffee was sipped and replenished and easy conversation was shared as they worked seamlessly together. When the meal was completed and the table was set, Roy and Johnny sat and ate breakfast together. Pancakes and sausage were stowed in the oven to stay warm in anticipation of Jennifer and Chris's awakening.

By the time sleepy children meandered into the kitchen, breakfast clean up had been completed. A call to the neighbors had been made, and children were to be dropped off by nine o'clock or so. Roy and Johnny were sitting at the table perusing the morning paper having already agreed Johnny would take a few hours to nap at the DeSoto's and retrieve the children from the neighbors in the early afternoon. After the children had eaten breakfast, Roy would be leaving for Rampart to look in on JoAnne.

* * *

><p>In room 255 at Rampart General Hospital JoAnne DeSoto slept fitfully. Hourly neurological checks were extremely annoying and not conducive to restful reparative sleep. Her head seemed to have grown in diameter several inches, and a rock and roll band with a super enthusiastic drummer must surely have taken up residence inside her expanded skull. To make matters worse, her broken left leg had obviously joined in the jarring disco beet from the drums in her head as it pounded in time to the rhythm of her brains. The rest of her body had apparently spent the evening tumbling around in a cement mixer if the protesting aches were any indicator. Closing her eyes, JoAnne cursed every drummer she'd ever known, and feebly attempted to ignore her complaining body's woes in hopes she'd find respite in the hazy mist of slumber.<p>

At the ungodly hour of seven o'clock a.m. a far too cheery candy striper appeared with a less than appetizing smelling tray. JoAnne who had once again managed to doze off found she was rocketed into wakefulness by a high pitched chirping "Well good morning Mrs. DeSoto. I have your breakfast!"

Opening eyes which felt like someone had washed them out with sandpaper, JoAnne glowered at the tray bearer. As much as she would have liked to scream obscenities at the irritating creature, JoAnne plastered a forced smile on her face and politely thanked the woman while the nasty smelling tray was placed on a rolling table and thrust under JoAnne's nose.

The aromas wafting up from the tray were instantly too much for JoAnne. Feeling the bile rise in her throat she hastily called out to the rapidly departing candy striper. "Miss, miss!" Jo cried urgently.

Turning back to look at the patient the young woman saw the green look on the other woman's face. "Yes." She daintily replied keeping her distance.

"I need you to move this away from me, NOW!" JoAnne blurted as she clamped a hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to quell the rising tide. "And get me a basin….quick!"

Surprisingly the girl moved fast enough. She snatched the emesis basin from the bedside table drawer, and rapidly removed the tray. "Here Mrs. DeSoto." She said thrusting the basin into JoAnne's hands. "I'll get you a nurse."

The young woman turned and fled the room as JoAnne lost her battle and began to wretch helplessly. Fortunately a nurse appeared quickly, and in a few short minutes JoAnne found herself on the receiving end of a hypo of anti nausea medication.

After generous application of a warm wash cloth, and the removal of the now soiled basin, JoAnne felt worlds better, though she'd have to admit to wishing for a musician's strike so the drummer who was still tormenting her brain and leg would lay off for a few minutes. Weakly JoAnne thanked the nurse and settled back into her pillows.

"_Yeah, this whole experience stinks. No wonder Johnny hates to be in the hospital. They keep waking you up. Then they stab your eyeballs with flaming white lights. Someone pops in ever three minutes to make sure you haven't accidently gotten any rest. Then they hurl obnoxious smelling food at you, insultingly delivered by someone who obviously had way too much coffee before arriving for work…. I am gonna have to be kinder to Johnny the next time he's begging to avoid a stint in hell. I had no idea what a smart man Johnny is!"_ JoAnne mused randomly as she drifted toward the alluring sleep brought as a gift from the antiemetic.

When JoAnne again woke an undetermined time later, she found Roy sitting at her bedside. Covertly observing him JoAnne laid silently as he flipped aimlessly through a magazine. She studied his thick eyelashes as they fluttered with each blink. While she observed his strong fingers ever so delicately quietly flipped the pages of his periodical.

As if sensing her attention, Roy's blue eyes turned toward her. A broad smile instantly lit his face as he stood and made his way over to her bed. "Hey there sleepy head." He said as he gently stroked her cheek with his fingers.

"Hey yourself." She replied over the screaming band pounding out their frenetic rhythm.

Roy carefully studied JoAnne then.

"_What's he looking at? Gosh, I must look terrible if the expression on his face is any indication."_ JoAnne's mind managed to ponder over the thumping in her skull.

"Have you had anything for pain this morning JoAnne?" Roy asked in what seemed a random and abrupt fashion as viewed through her wounded mind's filter.

"Uh…I don't know." She admitted obviously somewhat flustered by the question.

"Yeah. I am gonna bet that's a no." Roy said patting her gently on the hand. He reached for the call button to summon a nurse.

"I hurt everywhere Roy." JoAnne admitted sullenly. "Any mean thoughts I've ever had about how maybe Johnny was being any kind of dramatic with a concussion or broken limb….I take back. In fact, he's pretty tough isn't he?"

Roy chuckled gently as he stroked her hand softly. "Yeah, he's pretty tough. How 'bout we get you something for the pain sweetheart."

"O.K., Roy. Whatever you think." JoAnne said closing her eyes against the far too bright room.

When a nurse appeared Roy requested an analgesic for his wife. He waited with her murmuring soothing words until the nurse re-appeared and administered pain medication.

"_Finally that stupid band finished their set."_ JoAnne's weary mind mused as she slid into the warm embrace of Mother Meperidine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Fragile**

**Chapter 8**

Johnny woke from his morning nap at a little past one in the afternoon. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Johnny climbed from his bed in the DeSoto guest room. After attending to his personal needs, Johnny went upstairs to the master bedroom where he stripped the sheets from the king sized bed. After loading the linens into the washing machine, Johnny stripped both kids' beds, and began to tidy the house. A dust cloth was employed, the vacuum run, restrooms were cleaned by a practiced firehouse latrine cleaning hand, and finally all beds were re-made with fresh linens. Before retrieving the children from the Harrison's Johnny thoroughly wiped down the DeSoto kitchen before sweeping and mopping the floor.

The house now in order, Johnny walked over to the neighbors and knocked at the door. Mr. Harrison opened the door and greeted Johnny warmly. "Hello Johnny, you must be here to pick up the kids."

"Yep. How're they doin'?" Johnny inquired.

The neighbor gestured for Johnny to enter the house as he spoke. "They seem fine, though worries over their Mother's well being are pretty obvious. How is JoAnne?"

"She'll be all right. Roy's at Rampart with her now. If she has to stay overnight again tonight I'm gonna be the babysitter." Johnny replied with a shy crooked grin slipping across his face.

"Sorta figured." The older man said with a matching grin. "My wife is gonna fix dinner for you all and bring it over. She'll drop it off around six. Will you be home?"

"Don't know really. I was thinkin I would take Jennifer and Chris over to Rampart later to see JoAnne if they are gonna keep her another night. It all depends I guess." Johnny hedged.

"Oh, don't worry about it Johnny. If you are gone, we'll leave dinner in the oven over there. We have a key to the door." Mr. Harrison remarked as he led Johnny on into the kitchen.

Mrs. Harrison, a plump grey haired grandmotherly woman greeted Johnny warmly with a hug and kiss on the cheek. This young fireman was well known to the older couple. Many times he'd helped Roy when their neighbor had offered to complete some minor household repair for the pair. And of course, parties at the DeSoto's had given the sixty something husband and wife lots of opportunities to meet and socialize with the men of Roy's fire station crew.

"I'm cooking up a big batch of chicken spaghetti for you all to have for supper." Erma Harrison told the handsome fireman.

"There'll be green salad, garlic bread and maybe a little something special for dessert." She said grinning fondly at the young man who she'd seen pack away monstrous amounts of food on many occasions.

With sparkling brown eyes Johnny winked flirtatiously replying "Oh yeah? Something you've dipped your lovely fingers into I hope because I'm sure that'd be all it'd need to be very sweet."

A rosy blush decorated the cherubic older woman's face then as she reached out a hand and patted Johnny's handsome cheek. "You silver tongued devil." She teased. "Save you're flirting for some cute little 'gal. I'm already spoken for."

Mr. Harrison having stepped out of the kitchen to retrieve the DeSoto children reappeared at just that moment. "Hey now young man! Are you flirting with my lovely bride?" He cajoled their young guest.

With an askance look of mock innocence Johnny replied, "Oh no sir? I was just responding to the vision of absolute beauty before me. What's a man to do in the company of such a gorgeous young lady?"

Mr. Harrison waggled a finger in Johnny's direction "tsk tsk….. You best be goin' before you get into trouble young man."

Erma Harrison's blush deepened and the two men chuckled heartily as Johnny gathered up Jennifer and Chris. Thanking the neighbors, Johnny and the DeSoto children left to go back home.

Walking back to the DeSoto residence Jennifer looked up at her Uncle Johnny. "How is Mommy? Is she gonna die?" she inquired with tear rimmed blue eyes.

Johnny stopped walking and squatted down so he would be on eye level with Chris and Jennifer. Gently he reached up and brushed a strand of golden hair from Jennifer's face saying, "Oh Jen, no. Your Mommy has a broken leg, and her head got a little banged up. But she should be just fine. The Doctors just wanted her to stay at Rampart until they are sure everything is beginning to heal." Slipping his arms around both worried children Johnny drew them into a warm hug. "Everything's gonna be all right. You'll see."

"Your sure?" Chris inquired.

"Absolutely!" Johnny said with a warm smile.

After a few moments of shared comfort, Johnny patted the kids and suggested in a bright voice. "Race you to the back yard! First one there gets to pick the game we play." And he took off running followed closely by giggling children protesting about it being unfair for Johnny to have gotten a head start.

The afternoon was spent with Jennifer, Chris and Johnny playing various active games. Johnny of course won the race out to the DeSoto's back yard and they played chase, freeze tag, Frisbee and anything else rough and tumble involving lots of running and giggling. They ran and tussled for well over two hours until everyone was tired. When four o'clock rolled around the trio had flopped on the cool green lawn beneath the shade of a large tree.

Settling into one clump of bodies, everyone began to slow down from the afternoon frolic. All lounged quietly for a while until Jennifer, peering up into Johnny's face asked with sad blue eyes, "How long will Mommy be at Rampart. Will she be coming home today?"

"Ya know, I don't know." Johnny honestly answered. Sitting up on the grass he continued, "How 'bout we go inside and call your Dad at Rampart and find out."

Both children agreed, and everyone got up and trotted into the house to make the call.

* * *

><p>At Rampart General Hospital in room 255 Roy sat vigil with his sleeping spouse. The pain medication she'd been given seemed to help her disposition, and JoAnne had awakened several times during the morning and early afternoon. Roy, the ever attentive husband had offered his wife sips of water each time she woke, helped her to the restroom, and suggested she eat. But, the nausea she'd experienced earlier was still somewhat present, and each time Roy had offered food, JoAnne had declined and drifted back to sleep.<p>

Roy had been through similar experiences with his partner's various hospital visits, and even before Dr. Early came to examine JoAnne at a little past one in the afternoon Roy already realized his wife would likely be spending another night in Rampart. They wouldn't let a patient go home until food had been consumed and retained.

JoAnne happened to be awake when Dr. Early arrived. "Hello there JoAnne." The Doctor greeted her as he pushed open the door.

JoAnne was pretty groggy from the medication and she squinted at the physician's entry replying with minimal effort. "Hello."

The exam was mercifully short though JoAnne could have lived an eternity without having Joe Early searing her brain with the white beam from his ophthalmoscope. The torture seemed interminable and after she felt she'd endured the agony long enough JoAnne issued a frustrated groan as she attempted to turn her head away.

"Light still hurts your eyes huh?" Dr. Early sympathetically inquired clicking off the beam from the medical device.

JoAnne nodded affirmatively while closing both eyes for a little break.

"Are you still experiencing nausea?" Joe questioned as he flipped through her chart making notations.

JoAnne didn't answer at first, preferring to remain still with her eyes closed.

"Jo?" Roy prodded.

Reluctantly JoAnne opened her eyes to look at Dr. Early. "A little I guess." She admitted though it was perhaps something of an understatement.

Roy leaned over his wife's bed making eye contact with her, one of his brows climbing questioningly.

JoAnne rolled her eyes at her husband in exasperation, but she chose to offer no follow up information. She really didn't feel like conversing with anyone at the moment. Instead she let her eyes slip closed again and fervently wished they'd both just go away.

Roy turned to Dr. Early reporting, "She hasn't been interested in eating at all today. She has been drinking water whenever she wakes. She hasn't vomited though. I've helped her go to the restroom a couple of times today, and she has been complaining of dizziness. No ringing in her ears that she's admitted to me anyway."

JoAnne's eyes popped open and she glared at Roy now. _"Good grief. What is he, the town crier or something?"_ She irritably pondered.

Joe Early listened to Roy's report, and turning to JoAnne he couldn't help but smile at her reaction to Roy's forthright presentation of information.

"Do you have any ringing in your ears?" Dr. Early asked JoAnne.

She sighed heavily replying grumpily, "No."

"Head hurts pretty badly though?" Dr. Early gently quarried reaching out to lay his hand comfortingly over hers.

"Feels like someone's pounding on the inside of my skull trying to escape." She mirthlessly replied. "It's not all lost. I've at least got my rhythms together. My head and my leg are pounding in perfect time to one another."

Dr. Early patted her hand smiling. "Well, looks like it's about time for you to be getting some pain medication. I'll add another dose of antiemetic to go with it. I'd like to see you eat something. How about I have them bring up a tray with some soft foods for you?"

JoAnne wrinkled her nose at the suggestion, but politely thanked the physician. "When will I be getting out of here?" She questioned as Dr. Early turned to walk toward the door.

He stopped and stepped back over to the bedside. "We'll see. I'd like to keep you at least one more night. Ask your husband. We're pretty insistent around this place. We'd like to see you eat something and hold it down before we'll let you escape our clutches."

JoAnne looked incredulously to Roy expecting him to jump to her defense. When he only shrugged his shoulders smiling gently while nodding in agreement with the doctor, JoAnne sighed again with exasperation. "Who's side are you on anyway?" She hissed under her breath.

Roy reached out and gently grasped JoAnne's hand. "Yours sweetheart."

"I'll see you in the morning JoAnne." Dr. Early said as he picked up her chart and turned to go.

When the Doctor had gone JoAnne turned to her husband. "Well, you were pretty quick to jump in for me there." She accused.

Roy didn't let go of his gentle hold on her hand. Reaching over with his other hand he softly stroked her cheek and smiled. "Yeah, well it looked like you might still be pretty tired, and maybe a little cranky. We wanted Dr. Early to be fully aware of how you are doing, right?" He replied in a soft soothing cadence.

JoAnne leaned her cheek into his hand's gentle caress. "I'm sorry Roy. I am irritable, and I do feel pretty terrible."

"I know babe. We'll see about getting that taken care of here in just a minute." He soothed, and leaned over kissing her lightly on the forehead.

Just then a nurse arrived in the hospital room. "Hello Mrs. DeSoto. It's time for a vitals check, and your medication." She cheerfully informed stepping up to the bedside.

When the nurse had completed her checks and administered a couple of injections, she took her leave. JoAnne let her eyes slip closed as the medication began to work, and Roy stood by her bedside gently stroking her hand and speaking soothingly to her until she drifted off to sleep.

At a few minutes past four the room phone rang waking JoAnne and startling Roy. Picking up the receiver Roy spoke softly into the phone. After only a few seconds he looked over to JoAnne and said "Jo honey, it's Johnny. He says he'll bring the kids over to see you this evening if you'd like. What do you think?"

Sleepily she considered what he was asking. "How about I just talk to them on the phone a little. It'll be easier on them, and on Johnny too if he doesn't have to bring them over. Besides, I am so sleepy from all these drugs, I'm not sure how much company I'd be when they got here." She finally replied through the fog that still seemed to be enfolding her brain.

Roy spoke into the phone, and then handed it to JoAnne. The conversations were short, and Roy doubted JoAnne would even remember them tomorrow. When she had again drifted off to sleep Roy reclaimed the phone and spoke comfortingly to his son and daughter. Before they hung up he spoke with Johnny requesting Johnny call Captain Stanley to inform him of JoAnne's condition, and ask for at least the next couple of Roy's shifts to be covered by a substitute. Roy and Johnny were supposed to be on duty the very next morning, and JoAnne would still be at Rampart.

Johnny and Roy agreed the children should be sent to school the next morning, and Johnny would make arrangements for the kids to stay with the neighbors after school the following day until Roy could get hold of JoAnne's sister.

* * *

><p>Wednesday morning bright and early Johnny woke his two charges. They were fed, cleaned and rooms tidied before the school bus rolled up. After Johnny saw them off he hopped in his Rover just in time to make it into the station by Roll Call.<p>

When he slid into line with the A shift of 51's Johnny looked over to find his paramedic partner for the day would be none other than the walking rule book Craig Brice.

"_This must be what they mean when they say nice guys finish last. Just what I needed today was to end up paired with Brice!"_ Johnny moaned internally.

When Roll Call was complete Johnny plastered a smile on his face and greeted his partner du jour. "Mornin' Brice. Glad you could fill in for Roy today."

"Let's get started on the morning inventory and equipment checks." Brice said without bothering with mundane morning pleasantries.

"_Oh yeah. It's lookin' like one of __**those**__ days."_ Johnny ruefully mused as he carefully schooled his features into something resembling cordial friendliness before saying "All right! Let's get to it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Fragile**

**Chapter 9**

One thing for sure about working with Craig Brice, the squad inventory would be absolutely accurate. Johnny couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he and Brice did the morning supply checks. Customarily it was Johnny who counted supplies while Roy noted quantities and needs on their supply log. Today Brice had grabbed the drug box, and began counting supplies leaving the logging to Johnny.

After counting Brice began to reassemble the contents of the drug box in his own weird order. Glancing down at his work Johnny stopped him abruptly. "Brice, as senior medic on this team I need to ask you to leave the drug box as you found it. When I am subbing over in your station, I'd never dream of rearranging your drug box and equipment. It'd totally throw the regular teams off over there, and things would function with far less efficiency. Remember, a highly honed team has particular methods of working which are most effective for that team. In a crisis situation, suddenly attempting to change the team's standardized routines will most assuredly detract from the efficiency of motion, and decrease the quality of patient care."

Johnny figured he might get Brice's attention by addressing concerns in a language more familiar to the doggedly quantitative man.

Brice stopped mid-movement and considered what his partner for the day had suggested. "I suppose you are correct Gage, even though I think you would find my method for organization is superior to the one your station is currently employing."

"_Geeze, this guy has a lot of nerve! Talk about arrogant!"_ Johnny mused closing his eyes so Brice would miss the eye roll he couldn't stop. Opening his eyes Johnny screwed a pleasant expression on his face and replied, "I'm sure anything unfamiliar would be upsetting to anyone's comfortable routine. But, since you will likely only be here for this shift, we probably don't need to change the arrangement of equipment for the other five medics of station 51. Your input is of course appreciated."

Seeing he would not be getting his own way, Brice grudgingly re-loaded the drug box as it had been, and moved on to the trauma box.

Johnny had of course heard Roy's complaints about working with Craig Brice. Remembering how Brice had a thing for locking the side compartment of the squad, Johnny who had been leaning against the passenger's side door surreptitiously reached in to the vehicle and snagged the compartment key from its place on the spotlight handle. Slipping the key into his pocket Johnny couldn't help but grin as he pondered the best method for winning an argument was to avoid it. Later when the medics had finished inventory and equipment checks, Johnny made a hasty withdrawal to the kitchen while Brice was closing up the squad bay doors. After enjoying a quick cup of coffee and light hearted conversation with the other guys in the kitchen, Johnny retreated with Marco to begin scrubbing and hanging hose.

Brice made his way into the kitchen shortly after Gage. Seeing the medic was seemingly actively engaged in conversation, Brice who never really did quite feel he fit in with any crew decided to begin kitchen inventory in preparation for his cooking chore for the shift.

Morning chores were nearly complete when the tones and klaxon sounded calling the crew out to a warehouse fire. From the sound of things, this would be a big one! Without giving Brice a chance to claim the driver's spot in the squad, Johnny jumped behind the wheel. The engine and lights were going by the time Craig Brice made it into the passenger's seat. As soon as Cap handed Johnny the call slip, and his partner had closed the truck door Johnny shifted the vehicle into gear and rolled out of the bay flipping on the siren as he cleared the open doorway.

Neither paramedic spoke as they made their way to the call. When they were within a couple of miles of the location, a thick column of black smoke could be seen rising from the area.

'Looks like we've got a big one." Gage remarked casually.

Inside Engine 51 following closely behind the squad, Captain Stanley too had seen the smoke. Snatching up his radio handset, Stanley radioed the squad. "Squad 51, make the hydrant at the corner. We'll be laying duels."

Brice picked up the squad's radio microphone acknowledging. "Squad 51, 10-4."

Johnny stopped at the corner near the fire and the engine drove around the squad halting just in front of the little red truck. Brice hopped out of the squad, Marco and Chet leapt off the engine. The two linemen each pulled a line from the rear of the engine and brought it over to drape around the hydrant. Johnny slammed the squad in park and bailed out to run around to the hydrant. Together Brice and Gage secured the lines around the hydrant with their feet while the linemen re-boarded the engine before it drove toward the burning building unfurling hose as it went. Quickly the Gage, Brice team connected hoses to the hydrant. After Mike gave a signal from the now parked engine, Brice operated the hydrant valve releasing the water which quickly began to fill the hoses.

Engine 51 was first on scene making Captain Stanley incident commander. Stepping down from the engine Cap was met by a running, soot covered portly middle aged man.

The man was breathing heavily and could barely speak. "There…..there….are…st..still…f…..gasp…four..m..men…gasp…gasp…men …inside!" he panted.

"Calm down sir. We'll get them out." Stanley soothed placing a hand on the distraught man's shoulder. "Take a couple of deep breaths for me." The Captain instructed.

After having a second to calm himself somewhat the man continued. "The fire started in the warehouse. There were four guys, Frank, Mike, Randy and Wally; they were still inside! They were in the break room. It's in the back on the left. They are trapped. The fire is between them and the door!"

"What's your name sir?" Captain Stanley asked in a calm voice.

"Bill Winters. I'm the foreman." The upset man cried.

"O.K. Bill. We'll get 'em out. You go over and have a seat on the back of that little red truck over there." Cap said, pointing to the squad.

Johnny and Craig were piling out of the squad, slipping on turnouts and SCBA. When the man approached Johnny met him near the front of the squad. "Sir? What's your name?"

"Bill Winters. I'm the foreman." He said, now feeling somewhat exasperated. _"Couldn't these men see his friends were in trouble and needed help?"_ Bill's traumatized mind screamed.

Johnny had more or less heard the man's earlier report to Captain Stanley, and easily guessed the source of the fellows agitation now. "O.K. sir. We'll get em'" Johnny soothed. "Are you injured?"

"No! I'm fine. Just help my friends!" Bill practically screamed.

"Go have a seat on the back of the squad Bill. We'll see what we can do." Johnny called over his shoulder as he and Brice jogged over to Captain Stanley.

Captain Stanley had arranged the various engine companies to begin containing the blaze. The warehouse he learned was filled with solvents used to produce industrial degreasing agents. The building was well involved on the front right side, with smoke pouring out the few windows in the place.

When his paramedics approached Captain Stanley turned to his men and said, "We've got four missing men. The foreman says they are in the break room on the west side, in the rear of the building. You guys run take a look and make it quick! This place is full of solvents."

Securing facemasks and helmets, Gage and Brice jogged toward the building. The doorway on the left, or west side of the building seemed clear enough. After checking to see if the door or wall were hot, the two rescue men sprinted into the building.

As the paramedics entered the building, Marco and Chet followed with a hose to cover them.

Inside the building the smoke hung like an oily thick black blanket rolling and pitching as it boiled through the space. The suffocating cloud extended down from the ceiling some ten feet above to about three feet off the floor. Crouching in the layer of relatively clear air for improved visibility, the firemen began to search the building. Johnny looked at Brice and signaled he'd go left, and he wanted Brice to go to the right. Brice violently shook his head negatively. He ran over to Gage and yelled though his mask at his partner. "No Gage. That's not SOP. We stay together!"

Johnny was annoyed, but there was no time for discussion. Waving his hand in a beckoning signal to Brice then, Johnny headed off to the left. Brice crouched and followed his partner as they wove their way through huge piles of chemical filled drums. The warehouse was enormous!

Through the increasingly thickening smoke the two rescue men spotted two doorways in the rear of the building. Together, with Johnny leading the way the men first checked, then opened the doorway on the left. Inside they discovered what looked to be an office. No victims were found. Darting from the room, the two men checked the door for the next room. This door was warm, and after signaling to Brice to get away from the door, Johnny kicked it in and darted away himself so as not to get caught in a potential back draft explosion. When no explosion was forthcoming, the medics dashed into the room.

The smoke was getting heavier now forcing the two rescuers to crouch down very near the floor as they began to search what appeared to be a break room. Covering the entire perimeter of the small room the firemen found no victims in this room either. Johnny reached into his turnout coat pocket and pulled out his handi-talkie. Pressing the send button he radioed Captain Stanley.

"Cap, we've checked the office and break room. We haven't found any victims." Johnny said through his SCBA mask.

* * *

><p>Marco and Chet followed the medics inside the warehouse. At first they saw no flames. Thick greasy smoke billowed around them, and they could feel the temperature beginning to rise. They directed their hose on the chemical containers that would be in the path of the paramedics should they need to make a hasty retreat. By cooling down the containers, hopefully they would be able to offer safe passage to their crew mates and their rescue victims.<p>

The smoke was thickening rapidly. Suddenly Chet who was on lead with the hose saw figures rushing through the smoke. At first he thought it was Gage and Brice. But as the figures came closer he could hear coughing, and knew it couldn't be their firemen friends.

All at once the four missing victims came coughing and running out of the black fog. Their faces and clothes were smeared almost black with soot. The two linemen turned off the water, and each man grabbed the arms of two of the four victims. Quickly the firemen led the four victims out of the building.

* * *

><p>"Cap, we've checked the office and break room. We haven't found any victims." Johnny's muffled voice said from Captain Stanley's handi-talkie.<p>

The warehouse now had flames shooting though the roof, and small explosions were beginning to take out the east side of the building. What had been a plume of black smoke was now a wall of pungent boiling black punctuated by orange flame.

"This building is about to go Gage. Forget the victims. Get out now!" Stanley ordered into his hand set.

"10-4 Cap." Johnny replied.

The instant Gage acknowledged his order, Stanley saw Marco and Chet running from the building with the four victims in tow.

"Gage, the victims are all out now!" Cap quickly said into his radio. "You and Brice get out now, and make it quick!"

* * *

><p>Hearing the order from Captain Stanley, Johnny grabbed Brice's sleeve. The two made eye contact through their masks and Gage yelled "The victims are clear. Cap's ordered us out now. He says the building is about to go. Let's move!"<p>

But as he spoke Johnny felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickling. Quickly his eyes darted around the room, his radar on high alert. Johnny saw smoke and air beginning to mix and move as if the warehouse were beginning to breathe like some giant animal. Without a word of warning, Johnny grabbed Brice and pulled him toward the wall where the two men would be shielded behind a large industrial refrigerator and a couple of soda machines. Briefly Gage saw the puzzled look on Brice's face through his mask. Quickly Gage pulled Brice to the ground with him and then the whole world dissolved into black rolling smoke, orange flame and thunderous sound.

* * *

><p>Just as Kelly and Lopez cleared the doorway of the warehouse, the building became boiling flame and rolling thunderous smoke as a mammoth explosion rumbled through it.<p>

The two veteran linemen sensed the impending disaster and hit the ground bringing their four victims along. Heat and flame flashed over them as everyone landed harshly on the asphalt, safely beneath the boiling inferno as it poured from the dissolving structure.

Mike Stoker and Hank Stanley stood near the engine silently witnessing the carnage. Two of their own were inside the inferno. The moment, the thoughts and experience of it lasted an eternity and ended in a split second.


	10. Chapter 10

**Fragile**

**Chapter 10**

Where there had been light before, now everything was plunged into absolute darkness. The world around him seemed to seethe with hideous demonic motion. Sound waves at once deafened him and vibrated through every cell of his body. "_What just happened?"_ His mind reeled. So suddenly the world had changed. His body and brain cells reverberating from the resonating rumble had not managed to catch up.

Something or someone lay atop him. The weight was not heavy, merely slightly oppressive. The surface beneath him was solid and cool. Everything else around him was intensely hot. Miniature Rivers of sweat trickled under his turned up collar down his back and chest. His armpits and butt crack swam with excess moisture. Damp hair clung to his ears and neck.

The rumbling of the universe quieted, and he could now hear crackling hissing and popping of fire. The beast was chewing ravenously into the world around him! He knew that sound, and somehow the presence of the familiar whisper of the dragon's breath helped his addled mind begin to connect the dots.

He was at a fire. The weight atop him must be his partner. He could hear the hiss whoosh of his SCBA with each breath. An explosion, that's it! The warehouse had exploded.

Regaining more of his senses now, he reached out a hand and eased his partner from off him. Gently he laid the other man on the floor. Carefully he placed a hand on his partner's chest. The man was still breathing. Looking into the other fireman's face, no eyes greeted him from inside the other facemask. His partner must be unconscious.

They needed to get out of this place. Feeling around in the swirling smoke he found the metal wall of the warehouse behind him. Turning, he began using his feet to kick at the joint between two pieces of the corrugated metal siding. The explosion had separated rivets from metal. All he needed to do now was encourage them. With several vicious lunges, his feet managed to create a man sized opening. Crawling to the opening he shoved at it now with his shoulders and the entire six foot high length tore from weakened studs and fell away creating an opening through which blessed daylight poured.

Looking back into the inferno he saw advancing flames. As quickly as he dared, he grabbed his partner's turnout coat by the shoulder seems, and dragged him backward through the opening, and away from the building. Once outside the pair was quickly spotted by the brethren who rapidly squelched spewing hoses, tossing them aside like dead snakes. The men rushed forward, and carefully hoisted their fallen brother in strong hands, carrying him another twenty or thirty feet from the disintegrating structure.

Reaching into his turnout coat pocket, he found his radio. After slipping off his sweat soaked helmet and face mask, he raised the handset to his lips and depressed the button. "Engine 51, this is Squad 51. We are out of the building. We are located on the southwest corner, in the back of the structure. My partner's been injured. Could you send me the drug box, trauma box, biophone, a long board and c collar please? Also, would you have L.A. respond an ambulance to the scene? We have a Code I."

Then he unbuckled his SCBA allowing it to slip to the ground. Next he opened his turnout coat allowing a refreshing breeze to seep in to cool his overheated body before slipping off his gloves and beginning to assess his patient.

* * *

><p>He felt himself falling. He expected the landing would be hard as the floor of the warehouse was concrete. But instead he partially landed on something softer than concrete. He wondered vaguely if he'd fallen on a victim. His mind would have stopped to consider more, but at that instant the world melted in a giant hot rush of flame and sound. Something cold and hard smashed into his arms which were outstretched instinctively to stop his fall. Searing pain assaulted his body. He fell sideways then, rocked by what seemed to be huge waves of energy and noise. The left side of his head and his left shoulder crashed abruptly into hard cold concrete then, and his world seeped away into a gray and black vortex.<p>

He had no knowledge of how long he remained awash on waves of darkness and pain. All he would remember later was waking up looking into the concerned sweaty face of his disheveled partner. He'd probably not have remembered that either but for the penlight the man was flashing into his eyes. Squinting, he weakly attempted to roll away only to find he was restrained.

Looking up into the concerned face above him, because really he had no other choice, he questioned the man. "What happened?"

"Why don't you tell me?" The other man said as he began to take a set of vitals.

"I remember falling. Something hit me, and then I hit the floor." He responded bluntly.

"Well, I'd say that's the abbreviated version, but good enough for now." His partner responded. "Rampart's ordered an I.V. for you. You are gonna feel a little sting."

And indeed he felt the familiar sting of an I.V. being started in his right AC area. "A wise precaution." He replied as he felt his eyes wanting to drift closed.

"Nope, ya gotta stay awake for me now." He was told.

"I know. It's just difficult at the moment." He responded.

Then he felt himself lifted onto a gurney, and the gurney was loaded into an ambulance. Some discussion between his partner and Captain was overheard, and then a somewhat grumpier partner sulkily climbed into the ambulance with him.

* * *

><p>Captain Stanley and Engineer Stoker stood in stunned horrified silence as the chemical warehouse violently erupted in rolling ever expanding flames and gasses. The shock wave of the explosion seemed to shake the ground. Johnny and Brice were trapped in that massive blast, and Stoker and Stanley's hearts sank into despair. It would be nearly impossible, even with turnout gear for anyone to have survived such an explosion. And now the building was melting down in upon itself as the flames roared uncontrollably.<p>

Cap glanced now at his two linemen with their four victims sprawled on the ground about fifteen feet from the front of the warehouse door. "Kelly? Lopez? Are you guys all right?" He called hopefully to his men.

To everyone's relief both linemen scrambled to their feet. "Yeah Cap. We're a little shaken up, but we're fine." Called Chet Kelley after visually inspecting himself and Lopez.

"How about your victims?" The four men who'd run from the building with the firefighters were also beginning to sit up. Though coughing violently, they too seemed to be basically all right.

"Looks like they all have a little smoke inhalation, but nothing seems to be broken. Probably wouldn't hurt to get the paramedics to look at 'em." Chet called to his Captain as he visually inspected their four charges.

Captain Stanley reached into his turnout pocket and slipped his radio out. Depressing the send key he asked L.A. for another squad, a couple of ambulances and a second alarm assignment. The warehouse could not be saved now. All they could hope for was containment.

Looking back at his linemen Cap ordered them to take the four victims over to the engine and get them some Oxygen. Stanley called Engine 116, the vehicle nearest Engine 51, and requested they bring their resuscitator over to aid in treating the smoke inhalation victims until the extra squad he'd ordered had arrived.

With a heavy heart the Captain looked back at the warehouse which seemed to be melting before their eyes. He realized there was little chance his paramedics could have survived the massive explosion. He'd never lost a man under his command, and the realization today he might have lost two so suddenly caused his heart to break.

Glancing over at his Engineer, Captain Stanley could see Mike was having thoughts similar to his own. Mike's sad grey eyes told Hank all he needed to know. Today could be life changing in such an intensely horrible way for the men of 51's.

All of a sudden the radio in Captain Stanley's hand yanked his attention back to the present moment. "Engine 51, this is Squad 51. We are out of the building. We are located on the southwest corner, in the back of the structure. My partner's been injured. Could you send me the drug box, trauma box, biophone, a long board and c collar please? Also, would you have L.A. respond an ambulance to the scene? We have a Code I."

For a split second Hank Stanley stared in stunned disbelief at the radio in his hand. The voice of the medic on the radio was none other than Johnny Gage! They were alive, and had somehow made it out of that inferno!

For an eternal instant Hank could only stare in flabbergasted relief at the radio in his hand. Inhaling a deep cleansing breath, Hank felt his wits return and pressed the send key on the handset to acknowledge the call.

"10-4 squad 51. I'll have Chet drive our squad around to you. Ambulance will be en route shortly. And Gage…..it's good to hear your voice son!" Stanley said as he allowed the relief to wash over him in a giant wave.

Glancing over at Mike Stoker, Hank Stanley shook his head in amazement. "This is a story I know we have to hear! That Gage really does have nine lives!"

* * *

><p>Several minutes later when the Battalion chief had arrived with the second alarm, Hank Stanley was relieved of incident command and allowed to go over and check in with his injured men. Coming around the building he could see Johnny had Brice packaged up and ready for transport.<p>

The Mayfair guys were loading the backboard on the cot before sliding it into the ambulance. Stanley walked directly over to Johnny and first inquired about Brice's condition.

"He's got a broken left wrist, probably fractured left collar bone, and likely a concussion along with some minor burns." Johnny matter of factly reported as he stiffly bent to gather up equipment.

"And how about you?" Stanley asked with a raised brow.

"Ah, I'm fine Cap." Johnny said waiving his commanding officer off as he slipped the drug box and trauma box into the ambulance.

"You were in the same explosion as Brice, right?" Stanley deliberately questioned.

Johnny leaned over to pick up the biophone inadvertently wincing at the soreness in his body. "yeah, but I'm fine. Really Cap."

Johnny's eyes met his Captains now. There it was, _**THE LOOK**_. He knew there would be no room for argument with what he predicted was about to come next.

"Gage, you climb into that ambulance, and when you get to Rampart get yourself checked out. I will not let you return to duty without a note from one of the Doctor's. Understood?" Cap declared with finality.

For a fleeting second Johnny considered protesting. But he realized it would be futile. With a heavy sigh he sullenly replied "Yes sir, Cap." And he turned and dejectedly climbed into the ambulance with Brice.

"I'll call ahead to Rampart for you so they'll be expecting both of you." Cap helpfully offered.

"Uh, thanks Cap." Johnny helplessly replied as the Mayfair EMT grinning broadly climbed into the back of the vehicle with him.

"Stop grinning George! It's unprofessional to gloat." Johnny sourly remarked to the familiar attendant.

"Hey man, he's only doing it for your own good. Stop being such a tough guy for once. You did sort of live through well….a really big bang today." Then George grinned wickedly to himself as he took his seat at the head of the gurney. "Hmm, wonder if that means you evolved?"

"Oh, Ha Ha Ha." Johnny grumbled. "Cerebral humor. Totally unexpected from a guy like you."

George good naturedly chuckled. "Sour grapes Gage. Sour Grapes. Tsk Tsk Tsk. Very unbecoming. Just be grateful Roy isn't around today, 'cause given the mechanism of injury for Brice, you'd likely be stretched out on a backboard too. At least this ride is a little more comfortable for you than, say for Brice here."

Brice who had been listening to the banter and enjoying it smiled up at Johnny now. "He's right Gage. We both went through the same explosion. Technically someone should also have taken spinal precautions for you."

Johnny rolled his eyes at both of them, and busied himself with taking a set of vitals for Brice. Secretly, he realized they were probably correct. He'd also prefer it if Roy didn't get to hear all the details of this day.

And the ambulance sped with flashing lights and siren wailing toward the cool comfort of Rampart General Hospital.


	11. Chapter 11

**Fragile**

**Chapter 11**

Wednesday morning Roy woke from an inadvertent mid morning nap. He was at Rampart, and his muscular frame had been scrunched into an uncomfortable hospital chair for hours. Lethargically he peered at the clock on the wall. It was eleven thirty a.m. Dr. Early had, as promised made an appearance earlier in the morning, and declared if JoAnne could eat and hold down breakfast and lunch; he would be able to discharge her from Rampart in the evening.

Roy glanced at his sleeping wife. Earlier in the morning, a breakfast tray had arrived for JoAnne, and though she had made a valiant effort, not much of the food had been consumed. What little Jo had eaten did stay put, but she reluctantly admitted to her ever vigilant husband she was still experiencing some dizziness and nausea. Dr. Early had left a PRN order for an antiemetic, and at around nine thirty Roy had summoned a nurse and requested the medication for JoAnne.

Roy stood from the torturously uncomfortable chair and stretched deeply. He leaned his neck precisely from one side to the other allowing the squashed vertebrae in his neck and upper back to re-adjust themselves with a number of small satisfying cracks. Heaving a deep sigh, Roy decided he would take a walk while JoAnne slept. Maybe he could slip down to the cafeteria and find something to eat. After leaving a note for JoAnne on the bedside table next to the water pitcher, Roy silently slipped from the room.

Following a quick early lunch, Roy aimlessly meandered through the hallways. Perhaps force of habit, or maybe some innate guidance led him, and he found himself loitering at the nurses' station in the Emergency area.

"Well hello Roy." Dixie warmly greeted the off duty medic as she slid behind the desk. "How is JoAnne today?"

Roy smiled in greeting to his friend. "Oh, she's better. Dr. Early will discharge her this evening if she can eat and keep down breakfast and lunch."

Dixie who had looked down to note something in a chart raised her blue eyes to meet Roy's. "She's still nauseated then?" She quarried.

"Yeah, I'm a little worried I guess." Roy reluctantly admitted.

"Don't be Roy. You know after the sort of injury she had this is a common issue. Just think about how many times we've seen Johnny through this stage. She'll be fine." Dixie soothed as she reached out a manicured hand to comfortingly pat Roy's arm.

Roy sighed heavily. "Yeah, I keep tellin' myself the same thing. But, the waiting is tough." He remarked with downcast eyes.

As Dixie was preparing to respond to him the phone on the desk rang. Gesturing to Roy by holding up a finger in a "one minute" move, Dixie picked up the phone and began speaking.

Roy couldn't help but overhear Dixie's portion of the conversation. "Rampart Emergency, Ms. McCall… Oh hello Hank… Yes….Really…What happened?...Uh huh…..yes…. hmmm…..No, he didn't mention it when he radioed in about his patient. …Well,... yes, we all know how he is about anything like… yes. Oh, I'll take care of it personally. Not to worry, we'll take care of him. I'll call and let you know. Yeah…..Thanks for the tip off Hank….Yes, I'll call you at the station. Bye." Dixie said as she hung up the phone.

Though the conversation seemed like something he might be interested in, Roy was too much of a professional to inquire.

"Well Dix, you look busy. I best be getting back to JoAnne anyway." Roy said as he took a step away from the desk intending to leave.

"Hang on for a second Roy. I think this is something that concerns you. You do hold Johnny's medical power of attorney, right?" Dixie said, her beautiful blue eyes meeting Roy's gaze.

Her innocent question, and the part of the conversation he'd just overheard now provoked instant alarm for Roy. "Is Johnny all right? What happened?" He asked with his stomach twisting into a knot around the cafeteria food he'd consumed.

Placing her hand out in front of her to halt the progression of words and worry, Dixie said. "Hang on; don't get ahead of me here. Johnny is bringing Brice in. Brice was injured in a warehouse explosion. That much I already knew because I answered the radio call. The part your partner neglected to mention is the explosion where Brice was injured was huge, and Johnny was with Brice inside the building when it blew. Captain Stanley put Gage in the ambulance with Brice and gave John instructions to get checked out when he arrives. Hank called from a pay phone at the scene to provide some of the more spectacular aspects of the incident, figuring Johnny might possibly forget to mention them. The ambulance is on the way in now."

Allowing himself a moment of relief Roy ducked his head and exhaled a long sigh. Looking back up at Dixie Roy said, "He was in a really large explosion, and he's attending a patient in the ambulance? Why isn't he immobilized and being treated as well?"

"Hank said the second squad hadn't arrived yet, and he came upon the pair after Johnny already had Brice packaged for transport. Brice and Gage were on the other side of a very large warehouse when they managed to get out of the blaze. Seems Johnny tore out a part of the building wall, and dragged Brice out." Dixie replied as she signaled to a pretty blond haired nurse to come over to the counter.

When the blond approached Dixie turned her attention to the nurse to give instructions. "Shelby, Squad 51 is coming in with not one, but two patients. We'll still put Brice in treatment three. Let's put John Gage in four. Get it set up. He'll need a gown, and you'll need scissors to at least threaten him with in order to get him into the gown."

The nurse smiled and giggled. "I think I'll be able to handle him Ms. McCall." She said. Just before she was about to walk away to set up the exam room it suddenly occurred to Roy who the woman might be.

"Excuse me, Miss?" Roy said. "You wouldn't be Shelby MaKee, would you?"

Puzzled she nodded. "Yes sir. Do I know you?"

Curious now why Roy had stopped the woman Dixie made the introductions. "Shelby MaKee, this is Roy DeSoto. Roy, this is Shelby."

Roy's face lit up, and his eyes took on a merry twinkle. "You don't know me, but I've heard a lot about you. My partner is John Gage."

Her big blue eyes widened, and took on the same amused twinkle Roy's eyes held. "Ah….yes, you are _that_ Roy. Pleased to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you too."

The pair shook hands and Dixie looked on, now with avid interest. "So, would someone like to clue me in here?" She finally blurted out.

Shelby looked from Roy to Dixie. "Johnny and I have dated." She simply explained.

"Oh, I see." Dixie replied thinking ruefully to herself this wasn't an unusual thing given they were talking about John Gage here. She supposed things must be going well at the moment, and perhaps this could account for Roy's sudden interest.

Time would not allow them to continue the discussion however, because it was at just that moment the ambulance bearing Brice and Gage pulled up to the back doors. Dixie slipped from behind the desk and briskly strode down the hall to meet the arriving patients. Shelby and Roy's eyes turned to see a very soot covered Johnny striding into the hallway holding an I.V. bag aloft while accompanying Craig Brice's stretcher.

Shelby excused herself and walked into treatment four to get the room prepared to receive their patient.

* * *

><p>As the siren wailed, and the vehicle jostled, Johnny sat wearily on the bench seat of the ambulance. His body ached all over, and the seven or eight minutes it had taken thus far in the journey to Rampart had given him enough time sitting still to begin to have his adrenaline high wear off some.<p>

Worse yet, after delivering Brice to the Emergency room, Johnny realized unhappily he'd have to figure out how to round up someone to give him a quick going over so he could get a note allowing him to return for duty today. How exactly he would accomplish getting a Doctor to look at him without raising too many red flags was beyond what Johnny's mind was able to process at the present moment.

Sighing heavily Johnny reflected that at least Roy hadn't been present to witness the spectacular explosion and fire. He knew George had been correct in his assessment of a likely scenario had his sometimes over protective partner been working today. At least he wouldn't have to worry about dealing with Roy. It was some consolation anyway.

Mindlessly Johnny massaged his aching shoulder muscles. He knew he would definitely feel this rescue tomorrow. Again sighing heavily he let his hand drop to his lap.

George eyed his vertical companion. "You all right there Gage? You look like you might be starting to feel this one." He stated flatly, fully expecting Johnny to deny everything.

Johnny looked up into George's brown eyes. Heaving another heavy sigh he replied "Yeah, I think I'm gonna be pretty sore tomorrow. I guess ya just don't notice it until ya stop movin'."

"Or till the adrenaline starts wearing off." George added sympathetically.

"Yeah. That too." Johnny confirmed.

The ambulance stopped, and began to back up, presumably into the ambulance entrance for Rampart.

Glancing out the rear windows Johnny said, "Looks like we're here."

Then leaning over the gurney Johnny made eye contact with Brice. "You still with me Brice?"

"Yes. I am experiencing quite a significant amount of pain however. I am pleased we have arrived at Rampart." Brice said in a flat monotone.

The back doors of the ambulance were opened, and George stood to help his partner move the cot. Gage too stood, and gathered up Brice's I.V. Together the three men climbed from the ambulance, and headed into Rampart.

Dixie met the men as they rounded the corner into the main corridor. "Take him into three." She ordered.

Johnny smiled at her, and followed along with the gurney into the exam room where he waited while the Mayfair guys transferred Brice to the exam table. Johnny threaded the I.V. bag onto its pole, and offered a brief report to Dr. Morton, the physician who would be treating Brice. When Mike Morton released Johnny, he slipped out of the treatment room and glanced toward the nurse's station.

In his haste to get his patient situated, Johnny really hadn't looked around the hallway as he entered the emergency department. It wasn't until he stepped out of exam room three that he finally saw Roy leaning casually against the wall next to Dixie's desk.

His heart sank when brown eyes met blue ones. Roy knew. Johnny had no idea how it was even possible, but he could see the knowledge written in Roy's expression.

Nonchalantly Johnny approached the desk, and his partner. "Hey Roy." He began. "How is JoAnne?"

Roy crossed his arms over his chest, his blue eyes flashing with determination. "Oh, she's doing all right. Dr. Early will probably release her this evening." He replied while maintaining steady eye contact with Johnny.

"How has your day been there partner?" Roy casually asked.

Johnny could see the hook dangling in front of him. _"He already knows about the warehouse explosion. I can see it in his eyes. He looks pissed? Determined? Why is he asking as if he has no clue? Great! Sometimes it just does not pay to get out of bed in the morning!"_

Roy studied Johnny carefully. He could see the deep lines in Johnny's forehead, the etched strain around his friend's eyes and the tight set of Johnny's jaw. _"Yep, he's in some pain. Looks tired too. And judging by the expression on his face, and the look in his eyes he realizes he's busted. He looks like a kid who's been sent to the principal for some crime he couldn't help but commit."_

Roy couldn't stop the grin from sliding across his face. It wasn't worth torturing his obviously spent partner. Allowing his expression to soften, Roy uncrossed his arms and stepped toward Johnny. Draping an arm across Johnny's shoulder Roy turned his partner's body gently and began to lead him toward treatment room four.

"I believe you have a doctor's appointment Junior. Let's not keep the man waiting." Roy said as he led his friend slowly away from Dixie's desk toward the treatment room.

Johnny's shoulders sagged perceptibly. Sighing deeply he looked over at Roy. "How did you know what happened?"

"I happened to be standing at the desk when Cap called." Roy replied pushing the door to room four open.

Johnny sighed again. "Cap called? From the scene? But how?... Oh yeah, there was a pay phone on the corner. Should have known Cap would take care of things." Johnny remarked with a trace of sarcasm coloring his tone.

"Junior! You were inside a warehouse during a major explosion!" Roy exclaimed as he escorted his unwilling buddy into the room. "You need to let a Doctor examine you. Blast injuries are a real possibility."

Johnny ducked his head. Another heavy sigh and he raised his head to meet Roy's steady gaze. "I guess. But we were sheltered from most of it. I pulled us down behind a big industrial fridge and a couple of vending machines. I really do feel fine. Maybe a little sore, and for sure tired."

Roy dropped his hand from Johnny's shoulder and again made full eye contact. "Uh huh. We'll see." He remarked as he stepped slightly away from his partner.

A hospital gown was thrust into Johnny's hands then followed by a cheerful and oh too familiar voice. "Mr. Gage, if you will please step behind the screen, remove your clothes and put on this gown."

Turning toward the voice Johnny's startled brown eyes met Shelby's. "Oh my gosh! Shelby? What are you doing here? I thought you worked in the neurology department." Johnny asked with some alarm.

Shelby giggled softly, again pushing the proffered gown into Johnny's hands. "I'm doing some overtime, and the emergency department needed someone today. Now, please undress and put on the gown."

"Uh…" Johnny began, his mouth gaping and eyes wide. "Uh…Roy, this is Shelby MaKee." Johnny said lamely turning to Roy.

Roy couldn't help himself, and he grinned broadly as he again draped his arm over Johnny's shoulder. "We met a few minutes ago Junior. Dixie already made the introductions. Now, do as the lady asks."

"But…." Johnny began by way of protest.

Shelby slipped a pair of trauma sheers out of her pocket and dangled them from her index finger for Johnny to view. "Or we could do it Dixie's way." She said, a mischievous smile decorating her face.

Johnny was rendered speechless for a moment. His mind reeled from the turn of events. _"How could this day get any worse? Never mind…..Don't answer that."_

Johnny gulped, and his chocolate colored eyes met Shelby's sparkling blue ones. "You wouldn't do that to me. Would you?" He pleadingly implored.

"_Poor guy, this has to be really awful for him. He's right. I don't think I could."_ Shelby thought. She didn't really know how to answer him, but apparently his partner saw her weak moment and gracefully stepped in."

Roy lightly whisked the sheers from Shelby's finger and poised them in his own right hand, ready for use. "I would Junior, and I'm pretty sure we both know it. So?..." and he reached for Johnny's shirt sleeve with the sheers.

Johnny snatched the gown from Shelby's hand and darted away from Roy. "All right, all right. Geeze! Why do we have to go through this any time I come off a tough rescue?" he grumbled while retreating to the area behind the privacy screen.

Roy chuckled softly. "Do you really want me to answer?" He called after his retreating friend.

"NO!" Johnny said emphatically from behind the screen.

It was at that precise moment Dr. Brackett swept into exam room four.


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: **_In the universe of Emergency, I was always fairly certain Roy and Johnny were aware of and comfortable with their sexual orientation. I don't think they were gay, though I would imagine they wouldn't have been frightened of being around men who were. Individuals who have such an ease in their own skin are more able to indulge in intimacy where no sexual innuendo abides. _

_Though the following chapter includes some tender moments between Johnny and Roy, it is not SLASH. I as a writer always viewed the relationship between Johnny and Roy as extremely brotherly with Roy occupying the role of older brother._

_If two macho guys in a vulnerable and delicate situation causes you discomfort; you may want to consider skipping this chapter._

**Fragile**

**Chapter 12**

After a few minutes behind the screen where mumbled protests could still be heard, Johnny reluctantly stepped around the partition clad in only the hospital gown.

Dr. Brackett looked to Shelby and began issuing orders. Johnny listened in disgruntled stunned silence as a long string of tests were ordered beginning dishearteningly enough with a round of blood tests. Johnny wasn't a big fan of needles, and the 16 to 18 gauge spear usually employed for drawing blood was one of his least favorites.

Brackett glanced at Roy standing in the room when he began issuing his next order. "We'll need high flow O2 by non re-breather mask." He said realizing full well Johnny was about to either protest or bolt with this bit of information.

Johnny had taken a few steps toward the exam table when he heard Brackett's last order. Instantly his progress ended, and he gaped at the physician. Defensively holding both hands up in front of him as if he could deflect what was coming Johnny exclaimed, "Whoa! Wait just a dogonned minute! Really Doc…. I'm fine. The explosion was from a slow burning chemical fire. Low grade explosion at best. We weren't even in the same room. We were shielded from the blast by a really big refrigerator.

Brackett's lip twitched. _"Ah great! The lip twitch. He's serious….and worried."_ Johnny's overwhelmed brain randomly observed.

Brackett's intense blue eyes pierced Johnny now. "Did the blast knock you to the ground?"

Johnny paused for a moment considering. "Well….I don't think so. I mean, I yanked Brice to the floor just before all hell broke loose. But I'm pretty sure that was before the blast."

Brackett shook his head. "Uh uh. Not good enough Johnny. You know as well as I do the dangers involved here." He firmly stated with waves of determination rolling off the man's very being.

Roy stepped over to the ventilation supplies and began hooking up the oxygen mask while he listened to Brackett and Johnny argue. Everyone in the room knew the potential injuries from a blast. Johnny could have ear injuries, neurological issues, blast lung, air embolism or even digestive perforations. The injuries were going to need investigation, and like it or not Johnny was about to have what he would probably agree later was the most thorough physical exam he'd ever experienced.

Roy knew the tests and O2 were necessary precautions, and he was also well aware how much Johnny hated having to wear an oxygen mask. Come to think of it, physical exams weren't high on Gage's list of favorites either. But no matter how much Johnny argued, pleaded or reasoned, there would be little change in upcoming events. Roy stepped over to the head of the exam table wielding the ordered O2 mask. Patting the table cushion, Roy made eye contact with his skittish partner.

"Let's go John." Roy said gesturing with his head for Johnny to join him at the table.

Johnny stood stock still as if rooted to his position on the floor. Pleading brown eyes met Roy's then. Eyes wide, mouth agape Johnny shook his head in stunned disbelief and horror.

Kel Brackett softly stepped over to Johnny now, and gently placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "We need to make sure you are all right John. You know that." He kindly remarked as he steered his patient toward the table.

"Iiih…yeah…but….." Johnny weakly protested as he let himself be guided.

Johnny finally reluctantly hauled his weary body up onto the exam table, sitting on the side with his legs dangling.

Roy tapped his partner on the shoulder with a finger. When Johnny turned to meet his gaze, Roy swirled a finger in the air indicating Johnny should turn and put his legs up on the mattress. Unhappily and as slowly as humanly possible, Johnny complied.

"Lean back and rest awhile partner. I'm guessing you are about to get at least a good six hours of refreshing oxygen therapy. Imagine how invigorated you'll be when this is all over." Roy lightly teased while insisting Johnny lie back by placing a heavy hand on the younger man's shoulder.

Johnny pressed his lips together into a thin line of obvious frustration while glaring at Roy. Roy smiled gently in return as he fitted the mask over John's face.

Shelby looked on with a mixture of amusement and sympathy. She somehow found John's childlike squeamishness endearing, though she could sympathize wholeheartedly with the sentiment. All the tests she'd just noted were tedious on a good day. If one had just been through an explosion, she could only imagine the mere idea of the litany of experiences would be mind numbingly tiresome.

She began by taking vitals while Roy helpfully set up the EKG that had been ordered.

As he stuck the electrodes to Johnny's chest Roy spoke comfortingly to his partner attempting to engage the shanghaied patient in conversation. "Hey, look at it this way. You are getting to spend time with Shelby here.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. I'm sure this is exactly the sort of date I would have planned for this evening." He remarked sarcastically.

Glancing over at Shelby Johnny said "So gorgeous, wanna play hospital with me?"

Allowing her eyes to meet his Shelby winked and grinned a tiny bit luridly. "Hmmm…sounds good to me handsome." She replied employing a Mae West type accent.

Roy looked quickly over at the woman now. _"Oh, she's good. I like her already. When JoAnne is better we HAVE to get her and Johnny over for dinner."_ He thought smiling to himself.

Johnny's eyebrows went up in surprise before he burst out laughing. "Well…. " he said, a crooked Gage grin slipping across his face, "I had no idea!"

The playful banter seemed to help Johnny relax somewhat, and most of the testing wasn't painful, just boring and lengthy.

The actual physical exam conducted by Dr. Brackett, who thankfully allowed Roy to stay, and Shelby to leave, was extremely thorough leaving ABSOLUTELY no orifice or appendage unexplored. Johnny would have to admit that part was pretty humiliating. Roy was extremely thoughtful in preserving Johnny's dignity by maintaining contact but remaining unobtrusive at specific moments. Roy's artful discretion and comforting presence were greatly appreciated by Johnny who was pretty sure he'd have died outright if Shelby or Dixie had ended up being the observer for this particular physical exam.

After everything was done and Johnny had firmly been informed he would spend at least the next 24 hours under observation at Rampart, Dr. Brackett left Johnny alone with Roy. The physician knew the routine Johnny had just encountered would be excruciating for even the least modest person. For Johnny who disliked hospitals anyway, the whole thing was likely sheer agony. Kel Brackett realized Roy would help Johnny settle down, and make some sort of mental peace with the whole ordeal.

* * *

><p>Finally alone in the room, Roy and Johnny sat quietly for a few minutes. Roy had been resting on a stool leaning on the wall next to the telephone. After those few minutes of silence he got up and walked over to stand beside his friend.<p>

For a few moments the two made eye contact. No words were spoken. Both men drew a measure of solace and comfort from the exchange of unspoken information.

Finally, Johnny reached up and slipped the irritatingly claustrophobia inspiring mask from his face. "Ya know Roy. This was **NOT **how I envisioned my day going when I woke up this morning."

Roy smiled gently at his friend. "I know Johnny, and I know how much you've hated these past couple of hours. Can't say I'd feel any different were I on that table instead of you."

Johnny shuddered involuntarily as some of the events of the past two hours flashed unbidden through his awareness. Shaking his head disbelievingly he replied "Yeah. This was pretty awful."

"Had to be done. You know that right?" Roy answered.

Johnny sighed heavily allowing his aching body to sink into the table. "I guess." He reluctantly acknowledged. "Ya know, things like this make you realize how embarrassing and awkward it must be for some of our patients when we have to….well…ya know…"

"Get up close and personal?" Roy offered.

Johnny grinned. "Yeah."

"I do. Hey, at least you weren't getting this trauma strip search in the back of an ambulance. Could'a been worse. Right." Roy gently teased.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "It's not like that'll never be a possibility though. It could still happen…." Johnny said with a shiver.

"To either one of us." Roy finished the thought for his partner.

Roy reached down then and lifted the oxygen mask from where Johnny had let it rest just below his chin. Slipping it back over his partner's nose and mouth he gently admonished, "You need to keep this on Junior. You know that too, right?"

Again Johnny rolled his eyes, and then sighed heavily. "Yes Mother." He retorted without malice.

Then a thought occurred to Johnny. "Hey!" he said again pulling the mask off. "Someone needs to call Cap. He'll need a replacement, and I'll bet Chet is sitting out there waiting with the squad."

Roy replaced the mask again. "No, he's not Johnny. Cap called in replacements when your ambulance rolled away from the scene." Roy gently provided.

Johnny gasped audibly. Covering his eyes with a hand he moaned in horrified displeasure.

Roy didn't say anything realizing his friend needed to come to terms with the group conspiracy he was now beginning to realize he'd been experiencing.

"_Everyone knew about this!"_ Johnny's mind spun. _"Now that I think about it, George even got it when I sat down in the ambulance. That's why he was grinning. Oh geeze….I am such an idiot! Why I didn't see this little adventure coming my way is beyond me. I mean, I'm a paramedic. I've seen blast injuries before. Geeze….."_ He exhaled a long sigh while unconsciously shaking his head.

"Johnny." Roy's voice was soft and soothing.

Johnny opened his eyes to look into his partner's comforting blue eyes.

"It wouldn't have mattered if you'd seen all this coming your way. It had to be done." He soothed. "In fact, it's probably better you didn't realize what would happen. You'd have only gotten freaked out. This was far easier than it would have been had you already been upset."

Johnny closed his eyes and again shook his head disbelievingly. _"How'd they know? Oh wait… Cap was in the military. So was Roy…and Chet, ….and Mke, and even George… Oh. They've seen it and done it before. O.K., I'm not feeling quite as stupid."_

"Same thing happened to me when I was in the service Johnny. I had a close encounter when a mortar round exploded in a bunker. Civilian hospitals handle things a bit more daintily, I can guarantee." Roy said with an involuntary shiver of his own.

Again there were no words in the room. Blue eyes held brown locked in silent communication.

Finally Roy spoke. "John. I know you have to hurt all over. How about I get Dr. Brackett to give you something for the pain. It'll help you sleep too, and you could probably use the rest."

Johnny's expression began to look stormy at the suggestion. He reached up to remove the O2 mask opening his mouth to protest.

"No." Roy said with a firm negative head nod as he intercepted Johnny's hand. "Don't deny it. I saw all the bruises. I can see it in your eyes and your face. Just stop. Remember, I've already been there."

Now two pairs of eyes locked in a battle of stubbornness and wills.

Roy saw pleading in his friend's brown eyes. The stubborn jut of Johnny's jaw came next and those brown eyes held glimmering flint. But Roy wouldn't back down.

The moment was intense, and after what seemed an eternity Johnny had to relent. His head was beginning to ache, and if he were totally honest Roy was correct. Every muscle he had ached, and he was bone weary yet too wired to rest.

Johnny closed his eyes with a resigned sigh.

When after what seemed like forever Roy still had not spoken Johnny again opened his eyes to meet Roy's intense gaze.

This time Johnny found comfort in his friend's expression, and the slight twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"That's it." Roy said smiling gently, for he knew the battle had been won. Roy gave his friend's shoulder a kindly pat as he turned to follow through with the earlier suggestion. "I'll be right back." He tossed over his shoulder while reaching for the door handle to the exam room.

Johnny closed his eyes when Roy left the room. His body lay still while his mind raced. _"Oh boy! What a day! Feels like I've been hit by a semi! Maybe Roy's right. Some medication might just put me out of my misery. At least I won't be awake when they traipse me naked through the halls. Talk about safety being fragile. Damn! A guy can't even count on ending the day with his boots on."_

* * *

><p>Roy stepped briskly from the exam room and almost mowed down Dr. Brackett who had unbeknownst to Roy been waiting outside the door. Without a word Brackett held a couple of syringes out to Roy.<p>

Roy raised questioning brows to the Doctor as he hastily stopped mid step.

"I'll let you do the honors Roy." Brackett offered. "I'd imagine Johnny would be delighted never to see me again. That's not in the cards. But I see no reason why he can't have a few hours reprieve." Holding up the first syringe Brackett indicated "analgesic." Holding up the second he remarked "muscle relaxer."

Roy smiled and accepted the syringes. "I.V.?"

Kel Brackett smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Doc. And thanks for making that…." And Roy jerked his head back toward the exam room, "as comfortable as you did. I know things could have been handled more expeditiously but with far less grace."

Kel Brackett smiled while a dark brow crawled toward his hair line. "Oh?"

Roy looked down at his shoes for a second before again making eye contact with Brackett. 'Uh…yeah. Been there….."

Brackett nodded affirmatively and with clear understanding. "Ah." He replied before turning on his heel and striding down the hall.

Roy smiled to himself. _"He does have a soft side after all. Who knew?"_ Roy thought.

* * *

><p>Roy pushed through the door noticing his partner was now lying with his eyes closed. Clearing his throat to indicate to Johnny he was no longer alone in the room, Roy walked toward the exam table.<p>

Johnny's eyes opened at his friend's approach. Reaching up he slipped the mask off his face to speak. "Hey Roy. You're back awful quick."

"Seems no request needed to be made. I almost bowled Doc over coming out the door. He figured you wouldn't mind if I did the honors." Roy said as he displayed the syringes.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I could go a long long time without seeing Dr. Brackett again considering….."

"That's what he figured too. So…" And Roy reached over to clean off the port on Johnny's I.V. He made short work of the two injections, though he pushed the contents slowly enough so they wouldn't sting. When he had finished Roy discarded the sharps and stood visiting until he could tell Johnny was feeling and fighting the medication.

"Uh Junior…. Those were pretty hefty doses of medication. You're not gonna be able to fight it, so just let it work for you." Roy coached softly as he again retrieved the discarded oxygen mask and placed it over Johnny's face.

"Roy…." Johnny said attempting despite his friend's words to stave off the woozy feeling the meds brought with them. "…..Hate this… "

Roy smiled and gently patted his friend's hand. "Go to sleep Junior. I'll see you tomorrow."

When Johnny finally succumbed to the drugs Roy left the exam room to go see JoAnne. He'd called her earlier while Johnny was having x-rays. She knew where he had been and had insisted he stay to help Johnny through the ordeal.

* * *

><p>Dr. Early came to see JoAnne in the late evening. After his examination the Doctor and Roy agreed JoAnne probably should spend another night at hotel Rampart. Though she had not thrown up that day, she had needed a couple of doses of anti-nausea medication to accomplish the feat.<p>

After spending the evening with JoAnne, Roy was finally rousted by Dixie and sent home for a good night's rest.

It had been a very long day for everyone!


	13. Chapter 13

**Fragile**

**Chapter 13**

Consciousness returned slowly to Johnny. He first became aware of sounds around him. He could hear the blip, blip, blip….._"cardiac monitor?...yep." _There were voices as people passed by wherever he was, or sounds of wheels rolling by. He vaguely became aware of the pressure of something squeezing his upper arm. There was the hissing sound of air being released from what his addled mind decided must be a blood pressure cuff because he felt the pressure on his arm leave after hearing the air release. Next he heard the scratching of someone writing on what was likely a clipboard or chart.

"_Where am I? Uh….that's right. Rampart."_ He thought groggily. He ran a mental body inventory as he lay quietly with his eyes closed. He ached from head to toe. Certain parts of his anatomy were a totally different sort of sore. And…._"Oh god! Please don't let that be a Foley I'm feeling! …Geeze….is there nothing they could have spared me? Wait…." _He took an experimental breath and exhaled softly. _"Phew! No vent anyway. At least that's something." _Checking further he noticed he couldn't feel a mask on his face. _"Improvement anyway."_ He felt the all too familiar tickle in his nose. "_Cannula. Hate that too. Oh well, figures." _Unbidden memories began to dribble through his mind stream then. Today? Yesterday? Had to be one of the most humiliating medical experiences he'd ever been through. Considering what he'd experienced in his life, this was a huge statement!

"_Oh gah! Did they really have to do a full GI series?"_ He pondered distinctly remembering those two tests. _"Never wanna go there again! Ich! Come to think of it, after such special time with Dr. Brackett, I would rather not ever see him again…. Now that's ridiculous... They were just medical tests... He was doing his job. ….but uh! _Blip….blip…blip..blip...

He heard fabric rustling, and smelled alcohol. Then something cool slid into his left arm and up his shoulder. _"Whew…what the heck…..? Wait! I don't need any more…." _He exhaled a heavy sigh as he helplessly slipped back into darkness and time became fluid, without meaning. ..blip…blip….blip…..blip…..

Sometime later again Johnny became aware of sound. "_Gotta wake. Need to open my eyes. Don't want any more drugs."_ Johnny's consciousness struggled to surface swimming with all he could muster against the tide pulling him under. When Johnny finally managed to open his eyes a crack, he found himself in a hospital room with a nurse he didn't know. It seemed odd too, because the nurse wasn't taking vitals or administering meds, she seemed to simply be loitering. Glancing out the window Johnny saw it was either still daylight, or he'd slept through the night and into the next day.

"_Boy, Roy wasn't kiddin'. Those must hove been some massive doses of medication if I slept this soundly through the evening and night. Wonder how __**much**__ of __**what**__ Dr. Brackett prescribed?"_ Johnny mused vaguely. His brain felt muddled and his mouth dry.

With great effort Johnny turned his head slightly to look at his guardian in white. "Thirsty…" he barely managed to croak.

He felt a straw at his lips and a voice bid him drink. Gratefully he sipped allowing the refreshing liquid to seep down a throat which felt as if it had been coated in whitewash. The straw remained in his mouth until he had sucked the last drops from the cup.

"Hang on, let me get you some more Mr. Gage." The nurse said, and he heard liquid filling the cup.

He drank again until he'd had his fill. "Thanks." He said feeling worlds better, and more awake.

"You're welcome. You'll need to let me know when you need to use the restroom. We removed the Foley a little while ago when you looked like you were just about to surface again.

Johnny closed his eyes and turned his head away from her with a soft moan. "Thought so. Gah! I had sorta hoped that was just a bad dream."

The nurse smiled gently. She understood the sentiment. "Yes, Dr. Brackett thought you would be unhappy about the Foley, but it was necessary."

Johnny turned his gaze back to the nurse now. Squinting he looked at her name tag. "Ms. Fielder?"

"Yes?" She replied.

"What is today? How long did the good doctor keep me knocked out?" Johnny inquired as he brought his right hand up to vainly attempt to rub some of the fog from his mind and eyes.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Mr. Gage, it was for your own good." Mrs. Fielder replied. "Today is Thursday." She continued glancing down at her wristwatch, "It's almost noon, and the doctor wanted you to eat lunch."

Johnny yawned deeply. "Oh did he? Thursday huh." He shook his head. "Wow. What kinda drugs have you all been giving me anyway? I've missed most of a day. If I was gonna miss any day, I'd really have preferred it had been ALL of YESTERDAY!" The young medic replied with a small grin. "Hey, when am I gettin' out of here anyway? Dr. Brackett said twenty four hours observation."

"He said at least twenty four hours." Roy intoned striding into the room with a white bag in one hand and a cup in the other.

Johnny started to sit up in bed. "Hey! Roy. Oh man. You have no idea how great it is to see you!" Johnny happily greeted his best friend.

"Hey Johnny. How are ya doin?" Roy replied, placing the bag on the rolling table at the end of the bed. "Doc wanted you to eat some lunch. You hungry?"

"Uh Roy, you were with me yesterday. Do you think I have even a microbe of solid food left in my system after all that? I am starved!" Johnny said eagerly eyeing the bag. "What did ya bring me?"

"How about a nice juicy double cheeseburger, fries and an extra thick vanilla shake from your favorite place over on Carson Street?" Roy said as he rolled the table toward Johnny.

"Oh man! You're the best! Thanks!" He replied reaching for the food.

Mrs. Fielder excused herself and left the room. "I'll be back in a bit Mr. Gage."

"No problem. I'll be fine." Johnny said through a mouthful of food.

Then looking back at Roy, Johnny chewed and swallowed his bite before speaking. "This has been weird. That woman is just sort of hanging out in my room. What gives? This isn't ICU, and I know our insurance doesn't allow for private nurses."

"You're in the critical care unit Johnny. You are here for observation, remembering?" Roy replied swiping a fry from Johnny's meal.

Johnny took another huge bite of his burger. "Are you serious? She's like my personal watch nurse or something?" He said through a mouthful of food.

"Yup." Roy said grinning at his friend.

Johnny chewed thoughtfully. After swallowing and taking a bite of food he again addressed his partner. "So, after all those tests yesterday, am I gonna live? I know Dr. Brackett has probably already talked to you."

Roy chuckled. "Yes, he has. Chances are good you'll be just fine. All your tests have been negative. No lung functions decrease so far, no gastrointestinal perforations, no neurological symptoms indicating brain bleeding, and no hearing deficit."

"Great! So when am I gettin' out of here, and when can I get rid of all this?" Johnny excitedly said, and he gestured at the I.V. cardiac leads and nasal cannula.

Roy ducked his head then because he knew Johnny was not going to like the next thing he had to say.

The gesture spoke louder than any words. Johnny closed his eyes and groaned aloud. "No!" He protested. "There watching for blast lung? And….onset can be up to forty eight hours. But….I am asymptomatic!"

Roy raised his eyes to meet Johnny's. "You know that doesn't matter Johnny. Roy answered even though he knew Johnny was aware of the protocol. "Hey, you'll have your own watch nurse. It's only another twenty four hours."

"Why do I have to have the I.V.?" Johnny complained. It was bad enough to be stuck in the hospital for yet another day, but to be saddled with an I.V. too. He sighed heavily then because he knew the answer to the question already.

"You already know the answer, but I'll say it out loud for you anyway. It's only TKO, but they are also going to need to draw bloods another couple of times, and do you really want to get stuck that much. In addition, if things go south….." Roy let the sentence trail off.

Johnny closed his eyes, his face a mask of frustration and irritation. "I know, I know…..TKO….To Keep Open. Got it. Grrrrrrrr!"

"Besides, you have some pretty deep bruising where you landed on your SCBA. Would it really be all that bad if they gave you something to help ease you through the worst of the muscle spasms and pain too?" Roy coaxed realizing what the answer was likely to be.

Johnny's eyes met Roy's. Roy could see the stubborn edge in those brown orbs.

"You're gonna be here anyway Junior. Might as well let them help you." Roy said flatly.

"Roy…" Johnny began, his agitation rising.

"Eat your lunch Johnny. We don't have to talk about this now." Roy said, attempting to ward off the rant he saw brewing.

Sullenly Johnny returned to his food. "How's Jo doing? Is she getting out of here today?" Johnny said after he swallowed a big swig of milkshake.

"Yep, she's much better. The nausea and dizziness are finally gone, and I brought her a lunch just like yours a few minutes ago. She's really looking forward to leaving too. Can't wait to get home and see Jennifer and Chris." Roy replied.

"Can't say as I blame her." Johnny sulkily grumbled.

Roy smiled indulgently at his friend. "Stop pouting. It's not gonna do any good, and you'll just make yourself miserable. Oh say…speaking of miserable…. I believe the phantom is going to be paying you a visit this evening. He said something about bringing dinner. I don't know what he's cooking up, but I'm sure some alfalfa sprouts would be good to get your system moving again after your…um…cleanse yesterday." Roy offered.

"Cleanse?" Johnny said rolling his eyes. "Oh that's what you call it. Nice!" Johnny quipped sarcastically. "Chet's cooking will go straight through me in my condition. There'll be nothin' to get in its way en route to the exit."

Roy chuckled. "No, just kiddin'. He said he would bring pizza and soda by and keep you company. Said to expect him around seven or so."

When Johnny had finished his meal he needed to avail himself of the facilities. "Now how am I supposed to go with all this mess on?" He complained. "I'll just unhook 'em. They'll never know."

"Oh yes they will. They have monitoring stations at the nurse's desk. Disconnect those EKG leads and we'll have a crash cart and team in here in less than a minute." Roy replied grinning. Reaching over to the call button, Roy summoned the nurse.

In half a minute Mrs. Fielder appeared. "Yes? What can I do for you Mr. Gage?" She efficiently quarried.

"Um….you said to let you know if…." Johnny jerked his head in the direction of the restroom.

"Ah. I did indeed." The nurse replied. She walked over to the bed, flipped a switch on the wall, and disconnected the EKG leads from the monitor carefully rolling them up in a neat coil before clipping them to the collar of Johnny's gown. Next she slipped the nasal cannula off, and walked over to the left side of the bed where the I.V. pole was. Reaching out she offered Johnny her arm. "Let me help you stand Mr. Gage."

"I got it." He said batting her hand away and swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed. He had known his mind still felt a bit fuzzy, but until that moment he hadn't realized he was probably still pretty doped up. Swaying slightly he reached for the I.V. pole to steady himself.

Roy who had been standing at the foot of the bed quickly walked over to the side. Glancing at Mrs. Fielder Roy smiled and winked before reaching out a hand and firmly grasping Johnny's upper right arm. "Let me help you up there partner, before you end up face first on the floor." He said.

Johnny knew to argue with Roy would be more trouble than it was worth. With a sigh, and holding on to the I.V. pole with his right hand, Johnny stood shakily. Between Roy and the I.V. pole the distance to the restroom was traversed. Once inside Roy put Johnny's right hand on the hand rail. "You got it now?" He asked.

"I've got it. Guess I'm still pretty doped up." Johnny answered.

"I'll be outside the door Johnny. If you feel dizzy, you let me know. If you don't tell me you're dizzy, and you fall; next time I or someone else will be standing in there with you. Got it?" Roy threatened.

"I'm fine. Now leave me to my business, huh." Johnny said shooing Roy away with his right hand.

Roy closed the door, and stepped away a couple of paces. Glancing across the room to the nurse Roy gestured for her to come closer. When she approached, Roy took a couple more steps away from the bathroom door and spoke softly to her. "Is it about time for his medication?"

She took a quick look at her watch. "Yes, actually I'm about fifteen minutes late. Dr. Bracket wanted him to eat, so I was trying to give him time to finish."

"You're gonna find it'll be easier if you give him his meds while I'm here." Roy bluntly stated.

She raised a questioning brow. "Oh?"

Roy nodded and stepped back toward the bathroom door knocking lightly. "You about done in there Johnny?"

Though admittedly a little puzzled, Mrs. Fielder acquiesced. "I'll go and get the meds then." She turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

Roy heard the toilet flush just after the nurse retreated. Waiting a minute longer he heard water running in the sink, and then his partner appeared at the opening door.

Mrs. Fielder returned to the room as Roy was getting Johnny settled in bed. Roy re-situated the nasal cannula, plugged the EKG leads back into the device, and flipping the appropriate switch on the wall.

The nurse couldn't help but smile. It was fairly obvious the blond haired visitor was very protective of Mr. Gage. Carefully she reached out and began to clean the port on Johnny's I.V. Johnny who had been involved in getting settled in the bed noticed her then, and quickly moved his arm away.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He questioned.

Startled, Mrs. Fielder looked into his brown eyes. She saw an edgy anger there, and stepped back. "It's past time for your medication Mr. Gage."

"No Thanks. I'm good." He replied slipping his arm under the bed covers out of her reach.

Roy sat down on the bed with Johnny then. Leaning toward his friend, Roy forced Johnny to look him in the eyes by getting directly in Johnny's line of sight. "Does your back hurt Johnny?" Roy firmly questioned.

Johnny evaded Roy's eyes looking up at the ceiling. His back did hurt some, in fact his whole body hurt. He knew if he let Roy see his face, there would be no hiding it. He also knew it was sort of childish to deny the medication because it made him feel weak and vulnerable. But honestly, he didn't feel good. He'd been poked and prodded forever in the most undignified of ways. He'd been drugged and incarcerated for a whole lost day now and being adult just was not on the menu at the moment.

"Johnny." Roy's voice was gentle. "If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't need the medication, I'll leave you alone about it. You are an adult, and I think you know what you need. If you just don't want it because you hate feeling weak, that's different. It's no excuse, and we both know it. The medication will help you relax and give your body time to heal."

Johnny sat in silence for a couple of minutes. He had to admit to himself he was having a bit of an internal temper tantrum. He didn't like being handled, and he didn't like feeling weak. For just an instant he felt some substantial hatred for Roy. _"Damn it. Why does it matter? I'm pretty doped up as it is?"_

Roy gently reached under the covers and withdrew Johnny's arm. At his touch, Johnny turned his face to look at Roy. Pleading brown eyes met gentle blue ones.

"I know you feel awful, and yesterday sucked. I get it partner. We still gotta take care of you. Tough just isn't good enough at this moment. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. You're stuck here for another twenty four hours. Let them help you heal." Roy softly advised.

Sighing heavily Johnny glanced up at Mrs. Fielder who had been looking on with some astonishment. She now understood what the blond haired man had meant. She hadn't realized this patient was so reluctant. He hadn't protested before, but he'd been pretty out of it too. And then, to the nurse's astonishment the patient gave her a small nod of agreement. She stepped over and cleaned the I.V. port again before injecting the contents of the two syringes.

While she worked she listened. The bond between this pair of men was unique, and she was curious to see how the situation would finally be handled.

Johnny and Roy sat silently while the nurse administered the meds.

Johnny scowled grumpily. "I hate it when you do this to me." He angrily grumbled.

"It can feel pretty scary to be taken care of when you have convinced yourself no one can take care of you." Roy offered.

"You don't have to take care of me!" Johnny growled angrily.

"Yeah I do." Roy said moving his body to within almost an inch of Johnny's. "I'm your friend, and taking care of each other is what we do. Get used to it pal, because no matter how much you kick and scream, I'm still gonna be here." Roy said his voice soft but hard as nails.

The strength and passion of Roy's determination stunned Johnny. Instinctively he backed away, leaning into the bed to create some physical distance. Startled brown eyes met blue eyes flashing with emotion. Johnny couldn't think of a reply. Together they sat in the stew of intensity between them.

Johnny sometimes forgot Roy was fiercely protective. They would wind along each man on his own path until something happened that brought out this side of his partner. Roy seemed outwardly so gentle and easy going. But cross him, and he was hard as steel and far less pliable.

If Roy were being this edgy about something where he and Johnny knew Roy was wrong, Johnny had no qualms about giving it right back to Roy. Johnny too was very stubborn. But when it came to a place where Johnny sort of realized Roy might be in the right, then it was time for Johnny to back down. Not an easy dance on a day when he felt fine. Almost unbearable after the past twenty four hours.

Finally Johnny spoke. "Well, all right then." He said with a slightly ducked head, and sheepish grin.

Roy saw the surrender in his friend's eyes before Johnny spoke. Johnny's words on the other hand were so matter of fact and blunt. Roy was simply taken aback. For an instant Roy's mouth hung open. But finally, the raw humor of the situation caused both men to burst out laughing.

The exchange though intense had lasted less than five minutes. Mrs. Fielder had stood in silent witness to the entire thing, and though she saw the final outcome, if quarried later there would likely have been no way she could have reported how the men had gotten from point A to point B in the discussion. Shaking her head, she stepped out of the room to dispose of the sharps.

"Johnny, I'm gonna sit here with you until you have to give in to the drugs. Then I'm gonna leave and take JoAnne home." Roy began.

Johnny was already feeling the drugs, and he didn't want to hear what Roy was about to say. He knew where Roy was going with this little chat, and would prefer to just go to sleep really fast so he didn't have to listen. He closed his eyes and turned away.

Roy reached out and turned Johnny's chin so they would be making eye contact. "Open your eyes and look at me. I know how long that stuff takes to work, and though I'm sure you are beginning to feel it, you are not asleep."

Roy had to grin at the angry scowl on Johnny's face as he opened sullen eyes. "What?" Johnny snapped.

"You are gonna take the drugs again this evening. Right? No argument." Roy firmly said.

Johnny smacked Roy's hand away from his chin. "Uhf!... Fine. I'll take them." He reluctantly agreed.

Roy had to chuckle. Johnny's behavior reminded him of Chris when his son wasn't feeling well. Reaching over, Roy gently rumpled Johnny's hair. "Now close your eyes and go to sleep Junior." He said gently though there was a hint of a tease in his voice.

Brown eyes opened to regard him. Johnny saw the fondness and humor in his friend's eyes. "Yes Mother." He said. He'd have continued the banter but the medication began to make its presence known in a prominent way now.

Roy saw those brown eyes go from grumpy laced amusement to something akin to fear. He knew the change in expression meant the drugs were beginning to win, and Johnny had been unable to deny it any longer.

"It's all right Junior. Close your eyes for me now." Roy soothed.

Brown pleading eyes met his gaze. Johnny groaned, hanging on to control with every last ounce of will he could muster. "No…..uuhhh….Don't like this…"

"Yeah I know." Roy crooned softly. "Come on Johnny. Close your eyes." He repeated. Gently he reached up and closed Johnny's lids for him. "Breath in through your nose now…..easy..." When Johnny began to follow, Roy continued speaking softly. "That's it Junior. Now exhale slowly out through your mouth. Let your jaw relax. There's nothing to hold on to right now. You're safe….. All you have to do is breathe…"

When the fight could not last any longer, Roy saw his friend's respiration even out into sleep. The heart monitor which had reacted noisily to Johnny's final struggle with surrender gradually slowed and evened out too.

Roy reached out in a paternal gesture and smoothed Johnny's bangs away from his sleeping face. "Rest now partner. I'll see you in the morning."

Roy said a little prayer then because he knew though they'd teased about the extra night stay in the hospital, the possibility of blast damage to Johnny's lungs presenting in the next twenty four hours was still a real threat to his friend. _"All you have to do is keep breathing my friend. Just keep breathing."_ Roy silently encouraged.


	14. Chapter 14

**Fragile**

**Chapter 14**

When Johnny slipped into the clutches of his medication, Roy took a few seconds to visit with Mrs. Fielder. He introduced himself, and let her know he was Johnny's next of kin. He told the nurse Johnny and he were paramedic partners, and he shared essential Gage to English translation tools she might need for interpreting Johnny speak where Johnny's health and/or wellbeing were concerned. She listened with concern and amusement, and assured him she'd take care of Johnny. Then as he prepared to go she thanked him for the information he had provided.

Roy slipped from Johnny's room leaving his partner asleep under the watchful eye of the critical care nurse. He knew if there were any complications with his partner, Rampart would inform him at home. The other problem Roy could see coming with Johnny in the near future involved something Roy realized Rampart probably wouldn't know he'd want notification for. Roy knew there was a connection he needed to make to help Johnny keep a reluctant guarantee given earlier. Roy silently vowed to remember to make his telephone call after getting JoAnne settled at home.

Today was the day JoAnne was finally going to get out of Rampart. Hustling into the elevator, Roy smiled to himself as he considered having his beautiful bride once again at home. Sleeping in their empty king sized bed alone these past two nights had left Roy longing for the warmth of his wife's touch. His relief to finally retrieve her from the antiseptic environment of the hospital was unbounded.

The auto accident had left the DeSoto family in need of a family car. They had Roy's beat up pickup truck, and Roy's two seat sports car. But neither of these vehicles would be suitable for a family of four. Roy had taken time during JoAnne's hospital stay to go out and do some car shopping. He'd found a good deal on a used, though reasonable new station wagon. It wasn't the sexiest car in the world, but Roy figured it would do. He'd brought the new car to the hospital today, and parked it in the lot near the emergency entrance. Sometimes it paid to spend time working in the place where a loved one might end up as a hospital patient. Dixie had even handed Roy an employee parking tag to use for the day so no one would question his vehicle in the lot.

When Roy arrived in JoAnne's hospital room, the duty nurse had his wife already seated in a wheel chair awaiting him. Entering the room, Roy smiled in greeting. "Enjoy your lunch?" He quarried as he leaned over to kiss her warmly.

She smiled affectionately up at him. "Yes, I did. I even had time for a nice nap. How's Johnny? You were gone a while I noticed."

Roy smiled and reached down to pick up JoAnne's bag. "Happy to see me, and get lunch." He answered somewhat vaguely.

"And…?" JoAnne questioned. She could tell by Roy's body language there must be something more to the story.

Roy shrugged. "Oh nothing really. You know Johnny. He…" Roy began.

JoAnne did know Johnny and could predict what was coming next. "…didn't want to take his medication." She finished for Roy.

Roy chuckled at how well they both knew his wayward partner. "Yep. You might say it took a little encouragement."

JoAnne smiled fondly thinking about how many times she'd had to coerce the young fireman to take pain meds. He really didn't seem to enjoy them, even if as a paramedic he obviously understood why it was necessary to take them. "Is he o.k. now?"

"For the moment." Roy replied as the nurse began to steer JoAnne's wheelchair from the room. Somehow the scenes of Johnny's struggle against letting his consciousness be swept away by medication always seemed to dull in memory for Roy. Whenever he had to watch the fight afresh he found it painful to see his brave friend resist. To Roy Johnny's struggles felt like wasted energy in what they both always knew was an inevitably futile cause. But each time Roy had either needed to administer powerful meds to Johnny, or had witnessed others do it, the valiant fight still brought a desire to somehow make the transition easier for his friend.

Roy took JoAnne out and put her into their new car. While he drove she checked out the new ride. After a thorough investigation, the vehicle met with her approval. It would be a great car for everyday use, and she was delighted Roy had taken the initiative in replacing her coupé. She wouldn't be able to drive for a few weeks, but having the car ready and waiting was a great relief.

Arriving at home, Roy walked slowly with JoAnne and her new crutches until they had reached the safety of the DeSoto living room. After settling his wife on the sofa, Roy returned to the car and gathered up her belongings bringing them into the house. When he had everything stowed in appropriate places, Roy excused himself to go into the kitchen to make that phone call.

* * *

><p>Johnny woke with an urgent mission. Opening his eyes, he discovered he was at least momentarily alone in the room. With a sigh, he sought out the call button and used it to summon his nurse. When she appeared in the doorway, he indicated to her he needed to use the restroom.<p>

This time, it was pretty clear even to Johnny he would need some assistance. Though awake, he realized his alertness was altered significantly. When Mrs. Fielder offered to help him stand, he didn't resist. She assisted him to the toilet, and as Roy had done she placed his hand on the safety rail before allowing him to proceed unaided and relatively unattended.

When his mission was complete, Johnny shuffled over to the sink. Turning on the water, he carefully leaned over filling his hands with water to splash his face. He hoped feeling the coolness of water on his skin might awaken him some, but listlessly noted all he'd accomplished was spilling a fair amount down the front of his gown. With a heavy sigh, he turned the tap off, and dried his hands on a towel before exiting the room.

Mrs. Fielder was a little surprised to see her patient emerge from the restroom with the upper front part of his gown water logged. "Mr. Gage?" She questioned as she walked him back toward the bed. "You're all wet. What happened?"

"Spilled water." Came his economical reply.

"I can see that." She gently chided resettling her patient in his bed. "Promise me you'll stay seated, and I'll run and get you a fresh gown."

"Promise." He amicably replied as his head lolled on the pillow.

While she was out, the nurse gathered supplies for a sponge bath noting perhaps the wet gown indicated her patient had been attempting to wash himself. Returning to the room, she found him sound asleep, just as she'd left him. She removed his gown, bathed and redressed him, and changed the bed linens. After re-checking his vitals, she replaced the nearly empty bag of D5W, repositioned the nasal cannula and reconnected the cardiac monitor before leaving her charge to rest. It was half past three in the afternoon.

Though vaguely aware of the bath and other arrangements, Johnny never stirred. Someplace in his befuddled brain he knew someone was performing the tasks, but he was just too tired to care. Even when he felt the cool air on his skin while his gown was being changed, modesty never occurred to the quiescent man.

An indeterminate time period later, Johnny again began to surface from his slumber. Checking with his first available sense he noted he could hear the heart monitor, the gentle steady hissing of the O2, and ambient hospital noise from outside his room. Opening his eyes a slit, he chanced a glance around the room. His own personal attendant was present and accounted for, and noticing he was awake she reached for something on the bedside table. Still too sleepy to care, he simply closed his eyes again until he felt a straw touch his lips. Opening his eyes again, he looked into the nurse's hazel gaze as she bid him drink.

The cool water felt wonderful slipping down his throat. Again, as he had the previous time, Johnny emptied the cup twice before his thirst was sated.

"Very good Mr. Gage." Mrs. Fielder complimented as she sat the cup on the night stand. You need to try to drink as much fluid as you can so you'll be able to flush the contrast material from the GI series out of your system.

Memories of yesterday's testing flashed through his now more alert brain and he turned his face away from her with a groan. When he turned back to look at her, he dryly remarked, "Ya know, you can call me Johnny…..and I'd really rather not be reminded of my little experience yesterday. It probably won't be one of those memories I'll ever want to re-live."

Not without sympathy, the nurse chuckled softly. "Well Johnny, I suppose I can understand how you feel. It couldn't have been any fun."

"Uh uh." He agreed ruefully.

"How are you feeling right now?" She inquired.

"I'm all right." He thoughtlessly tossed the standard answer.

She smiled. "I had a little talk with your partner as he was leaving. He said the answer you just gave me is your typical reply, and I should probably ask for clarification if I really needed to know what was going on with you." Mrs. Fielder remarked.

She saw his eyes suddenly focus to peer at her then. "Oh?" He quarried with dark brows rising in question and surprise. "What else did you two discuss?"

She smiled pleasantly. "I asked my question first."

Closing his eyes, he turned away from her again. Inhaling deeply he made a quick mental inventory of his body. After a moment he exhaled his breath in a long sigh before turning again to study the nurse. "I'm pretty wasted on the meds." He answered with some hope she really hadn't talked very long to Roy, and wouldn't follow up on his vague reply.

"That's to be expected." She replied. "How's the pain?"

"_Oh, so she did talk to Roy. Well damn!"_ He considered with some chagrin. "Not too bad." He replied again evasively.

"And the truth please?" She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"What exactly did you and Roy talk about?" Johnny blurted.

"You, of course. He seemed concerned you might umm…minimize your personal discomfort when offering information." She tactfully translated.

"He's a mother hen. Don't pay attention to him." Johnny remarked with a tiny hint of irritation.

"You still haven't answered my question Mr. Gage." Mrs. Fielder replied.

Johnny dropped his head in resignation. _"I am gonna kill Roy."_ He mused. "It's Johnny."

"That depends….." Mrs. Fielder replied crossing her arms over her chest while tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.

"I can tell you had a nice long chat with Roy." Johnny remarked sullenly. Then after a few moments of silence while he hoped she'd move on, he finally replied. "Still hurts."

"Where?" She prodded. _"O.K., I had sort of thought Roy might be playing Johnny's reluctance up a bit. But I now understand he was actually being pretty tactful."_ She considered as she waited for Johnny's reply.

He sighed heavily, followed by a discernable growl before he again spoke. Intense brown eyes met hazel as he began his report. "My ribs are pretty tender both anterior and posterior. Posterior lateral side and hip hurt on the right involving latissimus dosri, and likely gluteus muscle group from maximus to minimus. I'm experiencing pretty severe pain bi-laterally between my shoulders where my air tank would have been. Hurts way too much there for me to guess which muscles are involved. Left deltoid, bicep, triceps, pectorals are giving me moderate discomfort. Bi-laterally intercostal muscles ache with inhalation and exhalation."

Mrs. Fielder couldn't help the surprised and amused expression on her face as his recitation began, and continued. The information was presented in a flat monotone void of any expression or emotion. When he finished speaking the only thing she could think he had left out was severity levels.

"Overall, on a scale from one to ten with one being least and ten being most painful, where would you rate the pain?" She asked in a businesslike fashion, with hopes he'd give an honest answer simply because he seemed to be in a forthcoming mood.

Johnny sighed and closed his eyes. _"Well this sucks. What do I tell her now? I don't want anything stronger for pain, and if I'm honest I won't wake up until next Friday." _He thought unhappily.

She studied his face as he sat silently. _"So much for honesty. He's considering a lie. Roy is right. I can even see the pain etched on his face."_ She mused. "You're taking too long Johnny. I'm gonna guess your silence means you are somewhere close to nine or ten?" She finally interrupted.

His eyes flew open then and he quickly answered, "No…..I'm too doped up for it to be a ten really. Seven or eight might get closer. But I DON'T want anything else for pain right now. I've slept all day and I've got a buddy coming in to bring me dinner in a bit."

"I'll give Dr. Brackett a call." Mrs. Fielder replied, turning on her heel to leave the room while ignoring the beginnings of protests she heard from her patient as she departed.

* * *

><p>Johnny didn't have to wait long for the results of the nurse's phone conversation. Dr. Brackett appeared in his room not ten minutes after the nurse left.<p>

"Hey Doc." Johnny greeted the man noncommittally.

"Hey yourself. Your nurse called and gave me a report on your condition. Seems maybe you've been holding out on us some." Brackett said while standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No, not really. I'm just not much of a complainer. Besides, I've been asleep most of the time thanks to whatever it is you are giving me." Johnny answered somewhat defensively.

"Fair enough." The physician replied. "Let me have a look at your back." Brackett ordered as he approached Johnny's bed.

After a quick examination, Brackett indicated he'd be giving Johnny a strong anti-inflammatory in addition to the other medication he was receiving.

"Say Doc. When are you gonna let me out of here. All this stuff is just bruising. There really isn't a lot you can do for me. Time will handle most of this." Johnny reasoned.

"We'll release you from critical care tomorrow afternoon if there is no indication of pulmonary damage. Depending on how your other physical issues are doing, we may keep you another day in a regular room, or send you home to rest. I'd rather not make the decision at this moment." Brackett replied evasively.

Johnny sighed heavily. "You know how I feel about it, right Doc?"

"I do. You wouldn't be here at all if you had your wish." Kel Brackett said smiling. "We'll get you out of here as quick as we can Johnny. You have my word on it."

* * *

><p>The nurse came in to administer the steroid anti-inflammatory just as Chet arrived at a little before seven. She quickly administered the injection and left her patient to enjoy his new visitor.<p>

Chet strolled in carrying a pizza box and small cooler. "Hey Gage! How ya feelin'?"

"Hey Chet." Johnny replied somewhat despondently. "I'm all right."

"Ya don't sound all right babe. What's a' matter?" Chet remarked as he sat the pizza box on the table at the foot of Johnny's bed.

Johnny sighed heavily. "Oh, nothin'. Doc said he's thinkin' I might even be in the hospital till Saturday sometime is all. Guess I was hopin' to get out tomorrow afternoon."

Chet rolled the table up toward Johnny as he listened to his friend speak. He could tell Johnny was pretty down. "Why? You're getting' curb service here, and Cap's not gonna let ya come back to work 'till the Docs say it's all right. You'd just be going home to your empty apartment anyway."

It sounded so simple and logical when Chet said it the way he had. But Johnny hated being the center of so much scrutiny. He hated being poked and prodded. Hospitals were loud places where people never stopped moving. Chet just didn't get it.

"You make it sound like I'm on some sort of vacation or somethin'." Johnny exclaimed. "I just don't like being in the hospital Chet."

"Look Gage, man! You were in an explosion. We all thought you and Brice had bought it. No kiddin'. Marco and me had just run out with four vics when everything went boom. We were several yards from the building and the blast out there was pretty intense. You and Brice were inside that building when it blew! Come on! You're not superman. The fact you crawled out of there alive at all is pretty amazing. Why are ya complainin' about a little time in the hospital here?" Chet exclaimed.

"Aww…that explosion wasn't that big Chet." Johnny said waving a hand at Chet as if he could brush the words and the events aside."

"I'm tellin' ya Gage, it was!" Chet replied as he fished two sodas out of the cooler he'd brought.

"Nah!" Johnny said reaching for the pizza box. "Hey, what did ya bring me?"

"Pigeon food, of course." Chet deadpanned handing one of the sodas over to Johnny.

Johnny paused in his pizza investigation to take the offered soda and roll his eyes at Chet. Opening the box he found his favorite pizza. Supreme, with all the veggies he could want. "Oh man! Does this look good! You're the best Chet!" Johnny exclaimed as he helped himself to a slice.

"It's what I keep tryin' ta tell ya Gage!" Chet agreed as he too helped himself to pizza.

The pair indulged in quiet gluttony for a few minutes. When the feeding frenzy had abated some, conversation began anew.

"So why does Dr. Brackett wanna keep you longer than you think he should?" Chet questioned before taking a sip of his soda.

Johnny shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh don't give me that Gage! You do know. Come on, fess up." Chet prodded.

Johnny dropped the pizza slice he'd been nibbling. "I got kinda banged up. Roy and his big mouth did some talkin' to my nurse here, and she sort of harassed me into…well….I don't know…confessing…."

Chet's bushy eyebrows went up as he listened. When his friend paused to recover his pizza slice, and perhaps avoid any more talk Chet seized the conversation. "Confessing what Gage?"

Johnny shook his head. "Nothin'. Never mind, forget I said anything."

"Nope, too late. Come on, give." Chet pushed.

Johnny sighed heavily. "Well, she sorta cornered me on how much I might be hurting is all."

Reacting to Johnny's comment, Chet just shook his head. "Gage, I swear. I'm never gonna get you man. You are a paramedic for God's sake! Ya know better! You're not gonna start feeling better 'till you can get your system calmed down enough to heal. If your brain's trying to shoot out of your head 'cause your body hurts too much to even think, you are just gonna make the injury heal slower. It'll keep ya away from the job longer." Chet lectured. Then his mind figured out another tactic. After a long pause, Chet continued in a slightly different direction.

"Oh…I get it! That's it, isn't it? You're a slacker! You want ta stay off work longer, but ya want everyone to believe it isn't your fault you're out. Ah…..clever man! I didn't realize ya had it in ya. I didn't know you were that smart and sneaky!" Chet accused. Of course he realized this would instantly tick Johnny off. It was the plan after all. This guy needed to see hiding injury really wasn't working for anyone!

Not to disappoint, Johnny's face began to turn red and his expression darkened. "What are ya talkin about Chet! I hate this. I want out of this place as soon as I can so I CAN get back to work. I miss the job when I'm not there. I'm not a slacker! I can't imagine you even getting the nerve to call me something like that….." Johnny all but yelled.

Chet sat and grinned as Johnny wound himself up and jumped into the tirade. When his friend's heart monitor was becoming annoyingly loud Chet realized he might have pushed a little too hard.

"Calm down babe!" He said with hands raised in surrender.

Johnny suddenly realized he'd been hooked by the phantom once again. He didn't even finish his sentence. Chet was grinning from ear to ear.

There was a protracted silence between the men then. "What?" Johnny demanded finally.

Chet smiled warmly at his favorite pigeon. "So Johnny, if you want to come back to work you're gonna have to let yourself be hurt so they'll be able to help you heal." He stated flatly. "_Gotcha pigeon!"_ Chet thought smugly.

He'd been had. Johnny saw it now, and couldn't do a thing about it. Chat had steered right to the place he hadn't ever wanted to go, and dropped him over the edge. There was of course no way Johnny was going to say anything to Chet, though judging by the satisfied look on Chet's face, Johnny guessed he didn't need to confirm Chet's success.

"Shut up Chet!" Johnny finally said, misery apparent in his demeanor.

"I'm right Gage, and you know it." Chet said, this time speaking with only kindness. "Let 'em help you here. You were in a terrible explosion. You're gonna hurt for a while man. But it'll get better."

Johnny sat in silence for a few minutes. What could he say? Chet was right, Roy was right…..and as much as he absolutely detested the notion….he had been injured, and his friends weren't going to let him hide it in hopes it would just go away.

A quick glance at his wristwatch and at his despondent buddy told Chet it was time to go. "I gotta run Gage. You need anything, you call. Hear me?"

As Chet got up and began gathering his things to go, the two men heard the door to Johnny's room open. "Good evening gentlemen." A familiar baritone voice greeted them.

Chet, who'd been expecting Johnny's next guest smiled welcomingly. "Hey Cap."

Johnny was sitting open mouthed. Still a little groggy from the drugs he'd been given earlier Johnny found he was a little slow on the uptake. After just being led down the garden path by Chet, Captain Stanley was the last person he expected to see standing in the doorway of his hospital room.

'Uh…hey Cap." He stammered. "You didn't have to come all the way over here."

"Well gotta go Gage." Chet hastily said as he headed for the door.

"Bye Chet." Johnny called after him. "And…thanks man."

"No problem babe." Chet tossed over his shoulder, and then he was gone.

Hank Stanley had been standing outside the door listening for a good fifteen minutes. In fact, when the voices from within had gotten loud and a nurse had rushed over, Hank had politely assured her everything was fine, and asked her to wait for Hank's call before she entered Johnny's room. She smiled warmly at the tall dark haired man. Mrs. Fielder had told her a bit about this patient, and she suspected this man might be here to help solve any anticipated problems.

Hank had received a phone call from Roy earlier that afternoon. After calling Chet to collude with the lineman, Hank had timed his hospital visit to coincide with two events. Chet's departure and the expected delivery time of Johnny's next dose of medication.

After Chet left, Hank strolled over to Johnny's bed. "Mind if I sit down?" He inquired.

"Sure Cap." Johnny said indicating the chair on the opposite side of the bed from where Stanley was standing. "Have a seat."

Hank ignored the gesture and after taking a second to roll the hospital table back to the foot of the bed, made himself comfortable sitting beside Johnny's knees on the bed.

"How are you doin' John?" Stanley began.

"Uh….fine." Johnny tentatively responded.

"Really? You're fine. That's why you're here?" Hank questioned.

"Well…uh…no…I mean. Oh Cap. Geeze! That's not what I meant." Johnny stammered, squirming uncomfortably under his commanding officers scrutiny.

Johnny looked into his Captains eyes for a long moment. Neither spoke. As Johnny watched, he saw his Cap's eyes become sad. There was a look in those hazel eyes of haunted pain. Finally Stanley broke the silence.

"John, I thought we'd lost you son. When that warehouse went up, I thought you and Brice had died. When you called in on the radio, I was never so glad to hear someone's voice as I was yours right then!" Hank confessed.

The two men sat for a long moment regarding one another.

"I'm sorry I scared you." Johnny replied softly.

"Nothin' to be sorry for son. You did your job."

Then Johnny remembered in the exam room when Roy had told him Cap had ordered his replacement when the ambulance rolled from the scene. Johnny had felt betrayed by this man. A man he trusted with his very life. He'd been hurt realizing Cap had set him up, and allowed him to head blind into a very uncomfortable situation.

Hank Stanley watched the emotions play across his junior medic's face. He'd realized how Johnny might feel when he got to Rampart and discovered his Captain had sent him into a very different sort of battle. Worse yet, shoved him into it in effect blindfolded. Hank had known then, and knew now his decision was the right one. But the knowledge hadn't made the decision or the residual guilt about it any easier to accept.

After almost a full minute of silence Johnny finally spoke.

"Uh….Cap. When you put me into that ambulance with Brice…..did you know what was going to happen when I got to Rampart?"

Stanley lowered his eyes for a moment. Then he nodded slowly. "Yeah. Had a pretty good idea."

"You didn't say anything to me. Why?" Johnny said, unable to hide how dumbfounded he was that his Captain had let him walk unsuspecting into one of the toughest medical experiences he'd ever had.

Hank Stanley met Johnny's eyes now. "No. I didn't. If you'd known, it wouldn't have mattered. You would have still been right where you are at this moment. I know you may have felt betrayed, and I'll understand if you're angry with me. But it was the right thing to do John. I know you probably didn't think so at the time, and you may never. You'd have been upset all the way to the hospital. The whole ordeal would have been worse, and far less dignified if you hadn't been calm walking into it. I'm sorry son." Hank said never letting his strong gaze leave Johnny's face.

Johnny sat meeting Hank Stanley's solid determined eyes. He could see the remorse and sadness in those eyes. He could also see concern and caring. John truly realized now, his friends had been trying to protect and care for him. The knowledge wasn't going to make being cared for easier for Johnny. He hadn't felt he belonged with any group since he was a small child. Being taken care of was simply not going to come easy for Johnny, and it was a truth he couldn't escape.

"Thanks Cap." Johnny finally said. "I do understand. I'm not mad at you, though I'll have to admit I was for a while.

"I'd have been surprised if you hadn't been John." Hank said smiling warmly.

Hank put his hand on John's thigh then, allowing it to rest solidly. "How are you doing son?" He questioned making certain his eyes held Johnny's.

Johnny looked down at his lap silently. _"Oh please, don't go here!"_ his mind begged.

"John?" Hank said softly.

Johnny's eyes met his captain's again. This was his commanding officer; a man to whom he never wanted to appear weak. This was a man he admired, and wanted to emulate. How was he supposed to whine about a few aches to this man? He couldn't stop the involuntary squirming of his body.

"Roy tells me you are in some pain. That true?" Hank offered.

Johnny ducked his head, closing his eyes to escape the situation in which he now found himself. "_I'm gonna kill Roy."_ He silently vowed.

"Don't blame Roy. We're you're friends John; your chosen family. It's our job to look out for each other. You can't get help unless someone knows you need it. And I think right now son, you need it." Stanley said.

Johnny took a deep breath, exhaling noisily from his mouth. "Yeah…but Cap." He began, now actively fidgeting.

"I spoke to the nurse while I was standing in the hall. I'm going to call her in now so she can give you some pain medicine. Would that be all right with you?" Hank suggested, though Johnny was pretty sure it was a direct order.

"uh… Cap…I….. I….. I… ugh…" There was a long pause. "I'm gonna kill Roy!" Johnny first stammered, then exclaimed.

Stanley grinned. "Sorry son. Not gonna happen." He said as he pressed the call button.

It took twenty, thirty seconds tops for the night nurse to appear in Johnny's room. "Yes, can I help you?" She innocently inquired.

Hank Stanley turned to the woman smiling. "I believe Dr. Brackett ordered some medication for our friend here. Would you be so good as to come on in and administer those meds please?"

The adorable young brunette nurse smiled warmly at Captain Stanley. "Yes sir. Let me just take a quick set of vitals, and I'll get those meds taken care of."

"Uh…I hate to interrupt the flow of things but…" Johnny said, gesturing toward the bathroom. "Any chance a guy could make a bathroom run really quickly?"

"Certainly." The perky nurse replied. After disconnecting everything Johnny allowed her to escort him to his destination. When he had finished his task, he exited to find her waiting for him. After settling him in bed and reconnecting everything she set about taking his vital signs.

While the nurse went about taking vitals Johnny did his very best not to fidget. "Cap, you don't have to stay. I promise not to give the lady any grief." Johnny vowed.

Again seating himself on the bed facing Johnny, Stanley let his eyes meet and hold Johnny's. "John. It's not a problem pal. I came here to be with you." He offered comfortingly though he was perfectly aware why Johnny wanted him to leave. This was a young man who had obviously been mistreated in moments of weakness or vulnerability. Hank knew it was going to be hard on Johnny, but the only way to get better at letting people see your weakness was to let them see you in it.

The nurse left when she'd taken vitals, and returned shortly afterwards with Johnny's medication. "I have your medication Mr. Gage." She cheerfully declared.

Pleading dark eyes looked up into hers then, and she felt her heart melt. Smiling warmly at the handsome man, she reached out and cleaned the I.V. port. Slipping the first syringe from her pocket, she noticed Johnny's eyes following her.

"Miss?" John inquired.

"Yes?" the nurse answered as she slid the needle into the port and began to push the contents.

"That looks like a larger dose of medication than….' And he stopped to inhale through gritted teeth as he felt the medication slip through his vein. "Whoa!"

Hank reached out to softly yet firmly grasp Johnny's left hand. He squeezed gently causing Johnny to look up into his eyes.

"It's o.k. John. Nothing to worry about, you are totally fine." Hank comforted as he saw the alarm in Johnny's eyes.

"Almost done." The nurse said as she prepared the second syringe.

Johnny felt his body beginning to dissolve. "Miss, you could stop right there and be just fine." He gasped.

She giggled softly. "Dr. Brackett changed your medication and dosage a bit." She calmly remarked as she finished pushing the contents of the second syringe. Then withdrawing a third from her pocket she began injecting it as well. "This one won't make you sleepy Mr. Gage. In fact, it'll sort of counteract the other two a little which is why you got more of them." She patiently explained.

"Anti-inflammatory?" he asked vaguely.

"That's right." She answered. "There, all done." And she quickly slipped from the room leaving the two men alone.

Hank saw the anxiety in Johnny's eyes. He could hear the heart monitor's tempo increase.

"I got ya son. I got ya. It'll be all right." Hank soothed as he saw Johnny attempting to struggle.

Johnny clenched his jaw and gripped his Captain's hand. "Aaaaahh….what the hell did they give me?"

Hank put his face very near Johnny's. "Look at me John." He ordered softly.

Johnny looked into his Captain's eyes. He saw strength and tenderness.

"That's it pal. I got you. Let the medicine draw you away from the pain. You're fine. It doesn't have to be hard. Just let go."

Johnny closed his eyes and let the drugs pull him under. That comforting baritone voice followed him into the vortex insisting he allow himself to sink into the relief the swirling blackness offered. He felt safe. He felt cared for. He didn't mind this man had seen him helplessly slip away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Fragile**

**Chapter 15**

Following the ambulance trip to Rampart, Craig Brice found himself in the capable hands of Dr. Mike Morton. John Gage had escorted Brice into the exam room, but thankfully hadn't stayed to witness what Brice would have referred to as a trauma search. Brice had performed such procedures with patients, but was somewhat grateful Gage hadn't cut away all Brice's clothing to perform the thorough exam, and likewise hadn't stayed to witness the process.

Brice's rational mind observed the medical procedure as if standing outside his own body. A very clinically logical man, Brice would have been surprised if the emergency room staff hadn't physically inspected his entire body for injury. But, as thorough as a trauma search might have been, the hospital staff seemed to be taking discovery to new heights in this instance. The litany of medical tests and procedures ordered was stunning to Brice until Dr. Morton had explained they would be investigating for blast injuries. As he endured preparations for the lower gastro intestinal film series Brice vaguely wondered if John Gage would need to undergo similar scrutiny.

When the entire ordeal was complete Brice was given some relatively mild pain medication with the promise of something stronger following the initial evaluation period for neurological injury. He was informed his list of injuries included a mild concussion, fractured left wrist and collarbone, various abrasions, lacerations and bruises from secondary blast impacts, and minor flash burns on his neck and ears. Dr. Morton notified Brice he would spend the next forty eight hours in the critical care unit in order to receive monitoring for potential pulmonary injury from the explosion, followed by a minimum of an additional three days in the hospital.

Though detachment came easily to Craig Brice, he would have to admit his Wednesday afternoon and evening were at the very minimum uncomfortable. He lay in the exam room with ice packs on his fractured wrist and collarbone until Dr. Werner from orthopedics came down to set his wrist and clavicle. He received additional pain medication just before the physician set the bones, but even that wasn't enough to block out the excruciating agony.

After the bones were set, his wrist was cast and his entire arm bound in a brace, Craig would have preferred to slip into peaceful unconsciousness. Though he understood the constant interruptions that were to follow for the next few hours as he endured repeated neurological checks, knowing and experiencing were two entirely different affairs.

Dozing in and out of consciousness and sleep, Brice didn't realize when he was removed from the treatment room and taken to critical care. All he knew was he awakened for the next neuro check in a different room. When the nurse who performed his check was finished, Craig began to let the sound of the oxygen he was receiving by mask lull him to sleep when he sensed there was another person in the room. Opening his eyes he found himself face to face with Captain Stanley from 51's.

Stanley reached out warmly and grasped Craig's good hand. "How ya doin' there Brice?" Stanley inquired.

"I am in a significant amount of discomfort sir. But after the initial period of neurological observation, the doctors will allow me more pain relief. I am certain I will recover." Brice succinctly answered.

Hank Stanley's warm smile surprised Craig. "Glad ta hear it Craig. You had us worried there for a bit." Stanley said reaching up to rub a hand across his own soot covered eyes. "I stopped by to let you know I notified your Captain Jones. He promised to call Bob and let him know you are here."

Brice blinked dazedly at Captain Stanley. He hadn't even considered notifying anyone of his presence at Rampart. Shaking his head he considered solemnly to himself that his concussion might be more severe than he'd first suspected. Reasoning and planning skills were definitely diminished. "Thank you Captain." He replied.

Stanley patted his arm gently. "You take care Brice. Me or some of the men from 51's will be checking up on you. If you need anything, let us know." Stanley said.

Brice didn't remember Captain Stanley leaving the room. He only knew when he next woke for the hourly neuro check, the Captain had gone. Brice glanced around the room to find a nurse keeping watch, and comforted by the attentive observation allowed himself to slide back into an aching slumber.

Brice didn't discern when Bob Bellingham appeared in his hospital room. He only knew he opened his eyes at some point to find Bob sitting beside his bed. Glancing over Craig called out to his partner. "Bob?"

Bob Bellingham's tall lumbering frame eased from the hospital chair and came to stand over Brice. "Hey Craig. How ya doin'?" He said as he smiled gently down at his partner. "Ya scared me buddy! I heard about that explosion. I can't let ya out of my sight for an instant!" He gently teased.

Bob was a nurturing easy going man. He'd grown fond of his partner, no matter how annoying Craig could be. The guy really was a good paramedic. Bob knew that under Craig's calculating structured façade beat the heart of a dry, witty, considerate and very deep man who cared deeply for the people with whom he worked and the patients for whom they cared. Bob understood Craig, and they'd developed a special bond over the eighteen months they'd been paramedic partners. To see Craig lying injured in this hospital bed was deeply troubling.

Brice too cared for Bob Bellingham. For all his faults, the big man had a heart of gold. Though far more emotionally demonstrative than Craig, Bob was still a very efficient medic. It had been nice for Craig to allow himself to settle into the easy comfort his relationship with Bob offered. Smiling up at his partner now Brice gently chided, "Worry is wasted energy Bob."

The pair exchanged a look reminiscent of another pair of paramedics. Each knew the other's strengths and weaknesses. Their shared visual conversation spoke of concern and friendship, apprehension and relief. After a few moments of communal comfort Brice smiled softly. "Thanks Bob."

"Yeah." Bob answered simply. "You need ta get some rest Craig. I'll be here when you wake."

"No Bob…." Brice protested. Bellingham sleeping in a chair was unnecessary.

"Go to sleep Craig." Bellingham said gruffly. "I promise not to snore and wake you."

Brice grinned while shaking his head softly. "All right." He conceded, and closed his eyes allowing himself to drift off to sleep fully realizing his next neuro check would be done by his partner.

* * *

><p>To say Johnny slept soundly Thursday evening would be an understatement. When he awoke Friday morning Johnny couldn't even bother to open his eyes. He could hear the hiss of the oxygen in the cannula, and the steady blip, blip, blip of the cardiac monitor. Muddled brain cells fired slowly, and eventually he came up with <em>"why am I awake. Something woke me."<em>

His nose detected a familiar sweet smell, and he heard a voice then. "Hey tiger. Can you wake up for me?"

Inhaling deeply he smelled a light and very familiar floral scent. "Mmmmm….ssleepy…" Johnny slurred aloud.

Gentle fingers stroked his forehead brushing his bangs from his eyes. "Yeah, I know. Come on handsome, wake up for me."

"_That voice. Who is that?..."_ His mind searched for a person to fit the voice. Images and impressions of being comforted, cared for, and mothered slipped through his lazy brain. Blue eyes, long lashes, gentle hands…. "_Dixie! Oh…."_

Ever so slowly Johnny wearily hauled his eyelids open. His glassy eyes saw Dixie's smiling sapphire eyes. "Oh….hey Dix."

"Hey yourself sleepy head. How about you wake up a little more for me so we can get you fed and cleaned up. It's breakfast time." She said.

"Mm'not all that hungry." Johnny slurred.

"Yeah, but eat some for me anyway." She insisted as she pressed the button to raise the head of his bed so he was sitting up.

When asked later if he could recall Dixie's visit, Johnny would only be able to produce small snippets of the memory. He chewed and swallowed the food she placed in his mouth. He had some hazy recollection of being bathed and changed. There was some inkling of being encouraged to relieve his bladder in a bed urinal. Everything in that little segment of time was convoluted enough to have been only a dream.

Wakefulness began to dawn more fully while Dixie was straightening his blanket. Opening his eyes he regarded the lovely woman. "Hey Dix. You been here long?"

She smiled sweetly. "Long enough handsome." Dixie replied affectionately patting him on the shoulder. "All right, now let's see how your lungs are doing."

He growled, his disgruntlement growing as wakefulness increased.

She chuckled lightly holding the airflow meter to his lips. "O.K. Johnny, you know the drill here. Big breath, and blow it out for me."

He groaned aloud closing his eyes for a minute. Taking a deep breath, he blew into the device.

When Dixie had taken him through the test, drawn blood gasses and other blood samples and noted numbers in his chart she turned to regard the sleepy man.

"You about ready to have your medication?" She asked gently.

"Don't need it. Really doped up." He mumbled.

She laughed softly at his protest. "How do you feel?"

He reached up and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Zonked out of my gourd."

"Yeah, I'd imagine. What else?" She insisted.

Pleading mocha eyes regarded her now. "Dix…."

"Still hurts even with the drugs huh." Dixie remarked looking into those big brown eyes.

He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her he wanted the haze to clear away from his mind. Meeting her sapphire stare he stopped, and closed his mouth. They'd known each other far too long. This wasn't the first time Dixie had seen him injured, and anything but absolute truth wouldn't do. Johnny sighed deeply and lowered his eyes to avoid hers.

Dixie slipped the syringes from her pocket and began wiping the I.V. port. "I know it feels like you've been in a fog for two days Johnny. It will get better. I promise." She spoke calmly as she began to administer the medication. "Kel will start tapering you off the pain meds this evening."

He felt the familiar slow burn as the drug slid into his arm. Hissing an inhaled breath through his teeth he clenched his jaw and tried to somehow find a way to hold on for just a minute. Squeezing his eyes shut he steeled himself for the loss of control he knew would follow.

Then he felt soft fingers gently stroking his face. Opening his eyes he looked into Dixie's gentle gaze. "We're taking care of you tiger. Relax sweetheart. You'll sleep for a while, and when you wake up you'll feel better. It's all right to let go. You deserve some relief for a while."

With a sound resembling a sob he closed his eyes and a powerful wave of sleep once again swallowed him.

* * *

><p>Craig Brice remembered his partner waking him several times for neurological checks. Time and fatigue kept the customarily calculating man from keeping track of how many times, or how many hours passed. Eventually he finished one of those jarring scenes, and found it was followed by what must have been a fairly substantial dose of an analgesic. He felt the medication enter his system, and embraced the blissful darkness that lured him away from his tormented fatigued body.<p>

Craig too would have vague memories of testing and personal care. He didn't care. The hospital staff seemed to be making remarkable efforts at pain management, and for this Craig Brice was truly grateful. When he finally woke, he found himself in yet another hospital room.

At some point Bob must have gone home. Brice hoped Bob would remember to take time to rest. He didn't know what day today was, but he knew Bellingham would need to be on duty Saturday, and hoped his partner wouldn't sacrifice his own health to sit with an obviously medicated patient at Rampart.

Looking around his new room, Craig Brice discovered he had a roommate now. Squinting, because someone hadn't thought to leave his glasses in a convenient place, Brice could see a slim dark haired man in the next bed. "_Hmm, must be John Gage. I guess they have him medicated as well."_ Brice considered.

* * *

><p>Johnny was dragged from his lethargic existence yet again several hours later. His nurse Mrs. Fielder had returned it seemed, and was now attempting to encourage Johnny to eat lunch.<p>

After several minutes, and much pestering, Nurse Fielder was able to feed Johnny, and assist him in his restroom needs. After performing the requisite physical checks she too produced medication for administration.

While protesting to Roy, or Cap or Dixie were not good options, Johnny had no qualms about disagreeing with Mrs. Fielder.

At the smell of alcohol Johnny reached over with his right hand to stop Mrs. Fielder's action. "Look, I've been doped up for two days now. Give me a break here! Can't we just hold off on this round for enough time for me to figure out if I still hurt?" He negotiated.

Her hazel eyes met his, and she smiled sweetly. "We could. But I imagine in a couple of hours you'd actually be in real pain again, and probably forget to mention it. Or, as the doctor has ordered, we could keep the pain controlled, and give your body some time to heal before you are tapered from the intravenous drugs to oral doses."

He pressed his lips together in frustration. "But…"

"Are you in pain now?" She shot the question at him like a pinball.

Johnny closed his eyes and ran a quick mental inventory. He felt some slight aches and minor pains, but overall he really only felt medicated. Opening his lids he eyed the nurse. "Maybe a little, say level one or two." He honestly answered.

"Ah, refreshing honesty. Good Johnny." She replied moving his right hand back to rest on his lap. "And yesterday we got pretty close to ten?"

A low growl came from his throat as he looked away from her in futile frustration. Sighing again, and without looking at her he answered, "Yeah…all right. It was pretty bad."

She uncapped the first needle and slid it into the port. "Pain management Johnny, as a paramedic I realize you must know what it means. I promise, this is the last time you'll have to hear this lecture from me. But while you are on my watch, I'm going to make sure pain management is exactly what we have working for you as a patient." She remarked and began injecting the medication.

He felt the slow burn beginning, and turned to observe as she emptied the contents of the syringe into his arm. After inhaling deeply and allowing the breath to seep from between his teeth Johnny said,"Dr. Brackett increased the dosage a lot after yesterday didn't he?"

Mrs. Fielder had moved on to the next shot and replied, "Of course he did Johnny. You needed a larger dose to manage the pain."

He sat in silence while she finished her task. Finally he spoke as he felt the drugs beckoning him to succumb. "I hate this."

Mrs. Fielder smiled kindly down at her patient. "Yes, I know you hate this. I'm so glad you have friends around you who care enough and are strong enough to help you do what is needed to heal even while you stubbornly hold on to the illusion things will get better without any help. Sometimes everyone needs help Johnny." She replied as she pressed the button to lower his bed into a more horizontal sleeping position.

The moment of final surrender was too close now for him to fight with her any more. Helplessly he looked at her, unable to summon a protest.

The childlike pleading eyes melted Mrs. Fielder's heart then, and she reached down and softly stroked his face with a gentle hand. "Sleep sweet boy. It's all right now."

She watched him drift away finally. Lightly she patted his cheek one last time and whispered softly "Well done. Roy would be proud." For the strength of character of this brave man, and the bond between this young man and his tenaciously caring partner had won the heart of yet another crusty veteran nurse.


	16. Chapter 16

**Fragile**

**Chapter 16**

Conscious thought returned gradually to John Gage. Perhaps the thing he noticed most when he slid back into some form of alertness was the absence of sounds. When his ears began to function at first he couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong in the world around him. The only noises he was aware of came from what he guessed was the hospital corridor. "_Wait a minute! No blip, blip, blip…? Cardiac monitors making no sound are very bad!"_ He continued to listen. The world outside his closed eyes was so silent. _"Uh Oh….can't hear the oxygen flowing either. Not good. Oh geeze….am I dead?"_ With this thought, his eyes sprang open and Johnny attempted dizzily to sit up.

With his first effort Johnny realized sitting up didn't seem like such a good notion after all. When he tried, the world tipped and swayed alarmingly. He settled for a semi upright position resting his upper body on his elbows. Looking around slowly, he saw he was now in a different hospital room. This room had two beds. A quick peek at the occupant of the other bed revealed Craig Brice, obviously very asleep. Johnny exhaled a sigh of relief allowing his body to sink back into the mattress. _"O.K., I couldn't be dead. No way I've sinned enough to end up in the afterlife confined to a hospital room with Craig Brice as a roommate. I don't care how many bad things I've done! No one's God would be so cruel_." His muddled mind lazily considered before he again closed his eyes and exhaled a long reassured sigh. Temporarily comforted by the realization he was still in the land of the living, Johnny allowed himself to slide back into the welcoming warmth of slumber.

* * *

><p>Squeaking wheels and the heavy rumble of the evening meal cart woke both John and Craig a few hours later. Each man's jumbled thoughts lurched into semi lucidity when a smiling nurse's aid briskly walked through the door bearing two covered trays.<p>

The uniformed woman carefully sat her burdons on the tables at the end of each bed. After she had freed her hands the kindly forty something dark skinned women turned brown eyes to regard Craig Brice. Stepping up to his bed, she quickly inspected his hospital band. "Mr. Brice?"

Brice observed the aid through squinted eyes. "Yes ma'am. I am Craig Brice." He courteously responded.

Rolling the table from the end of the bed toward Brice's lap the aid commented. "It's time for dinner Mr. Brice." While she spoke she lifted the cover from the dinner plate on the tray and placed it on the table beside the tray. "Enjoy your dinner Mr. Brice."

Raising his good hand, Craig called to the aid as she turned on her heel to attend his roommate. "Ah…Miss?"

His call halted her, and she turned to look at him. "Yes?"

"Would you please help me change the bed position? It will be quite impossible to eat lying down as I am." Brice requested. "Also, I'll need my glasses. They must be with my personal effects. Would you please find them for me?"

Johnny could see the hurried nurse's aid's facial expression change from one of courteous boredom to slight annoyance. He doubted without his glasses Brice had noticed. The woman quickly walked around Craig's bed and searched in the bedside table drawer until she found his glasses. She laid the eye ware on the left side of the food tray. Next she adjusted the bed to an upright sitting position before quickly and silently walking around the bed toward Johnny.

Brice with his casted left wrist and bound left arm struggled to adjust himself in the bed as the woman walked away. Johnny could see him shaking his head silently with an annoyed expression coloring his features.

The aid rolled Johnny's bed table up toward his lap and uncovered his meal too. He held his hospital banded right arm out for her inspection. "Mr. Gage?" She inquired as she looked at his band.

Johnny pressed the button on his hospital bed to raise himself into a sitting position. "Yeah." He replied. It was pretty obvious the woman was not in the mood to visit or assist.

She simply nodded and briskly strode toward the door tossing a cursory, "Enjoy your dinner gentlemen." Over her shoulder before quickly disappearing.

The unappetizing smell wafting from the contents of the tray caused Johnny to grimace. He looked at the plate attempting to determine exactly what he had been served. He saw some sort of meat, maybe chicken, or could be pork, in some sort of creamlike sauce on top of white rice. The plate also held something yellowish, possibly squash? The other substance on the platter looked like mashed or overcooked carrots, though the consistency allowed for the possibility it might also be sweet potatoes or rutabaga? The full repast came complete with a lightly browned dinner roll. Eyeing the food presentation Johnny couldn't help but notice the monochromatic color pallet in his meal. Everything sort of looked like pre-vomit. It was just the right color, and certainly the aroma bore a striking resemblance to emesis.

Wrinkling his nose, Johnny carefully reached up and slid the table down the bed toward his feet. Glancing over to Brice, Johnny noticed his roommate struggling to use his one good hand to first retrieve from the left side of the tray, and then open and don his eyeglasses.

"Don't bother with the glasses Brice. Trust me pal, you'll enjoy the meal a lot more if you can't see it." Johnny ruefully advised.

When Brice didn't answer, only continued to struggle groggily to get his glasses on one handed, Johnny began to feel sorry for the guy. With great effort, Johnny eased what he realized was a sore body around in bed so his legs were dangling from the bedside. Carefully Johnny slipped out of bed and shuffled over to Brice's side. Cautiously John took the glasses from Brice's lethargic hands, unfolded them and helped situate the spectacles on Brice's face.

When Brice felt his glasses being slipped over his ears, realization someone else had helped him occurred. Turning, Brice saw John Gage standing beside his bed. "Oh, thank you Gage. I would have eventually accomplished the task; however I appreciate your assistance." He softly remarked.

"No problem Brice." Johnny said reaching out to open the two cartons of milk on the tray. "Here Brice, let me get these opened for you. They might be the best tasting item on the tray."

Brice didn't look up as Johnny dealt with the milk cartons. Instead he glumly studied the meal before him.

"I realize I have had an effective dose of analgesic, and my perceptual skills may be diminished. But, the items on my plate all appear to be similar in color." Brice observed sluggishly.

Johnny laughed aloud. "You're fine Brice. It is all the same color."

"I am not attempting to spoil the meal's appeal for you Gage, but I don't think I will be able to consume the contents of this tray. Everything is roughly the same color as….." Brice stopped speaking and Johnny saw him swallow several times as if attempting to avoid regurgitation.

Johnny quickly slid the tray down the bed away from Brice. "Yeah, I know. I was thinking the same thing." He said while he stepped over to the nightstand near his own bed and retrieved the emesis basin from the drawer.

"Here Brice." Johnny said placing the curved basin in Brice's right hand. "You look like you might be able to use this."

Brice leaned his head back into his pillow again swallowing several times. Johnny could see sweat beads forming on the man's face as he valiantly attempted to stave off what Johnny guessed was nausea.

Reaching over to the call button, Johnny rang for a nurse. "I'm sending for a nurse Brice. Hang on."

Standing next to Brice's bed was surprisingly uncomfortable for Johnny. He noticed his back beginning to ache and spasm. Watching Brice struggle not to puke was difficult too though Johnny had been puked on several times as a paramedic. But right now his own pain and the aromas filling the room coupled with the visual cues of Brice's struggles were causing Johnny to feel queasy as well.

When the room door opened Johnny turned, prepared to see the nurse he'd summoned enter. Instead he saw Roy. Instant relief rolled over Johnny's mind and body.

"Junior, should you be out of bed?" Roy questioned as he entered the room and observed his partner unsteadily standing next to Brice's bed.

Roy speedily covered the few steps from the doorway to Johnny's side where he grasped his partner's upper right arm. Hank Stanley and Mike Stoker entered the room right behind Roy and taking in the scene Mike immediately turned to leave in search of assistance. "I'll get a nurse." He said as long legs hastily carried him back out the door, and away from the room.

"Come on Johnny; let's get you back in bed." Roy softly ordered steering his partner slowly toward his bed.

Hank quickly walked over to Brice. Glancing at the discarded tray, the sweaty face of Craig Brice and the emesis basin, Hank swiftly surmised the problem. Reaching out a comforting hand he gently held Brice's shoulder. With his other hand, Hank retrieved the emesis basin from Brice's lap. "Take it easy Brice. I got ya pal." Hank soothed holding the basin just in case it was needed.

Roy settled Johnny back in his own bed while Hank remained with Brice. In less than a minute the door opened and Mike Stoker propelled a nurse through the entryway. The nurse bore a cross expression as she was urged through the ingress. Her displeased look rapidly changed to one of concern when her eyes beheld the scene inside the room.

Mealtime occurred just before shift change, and unfortunately Brice's bout of nausea had happened at just the wrong moment it seemed. After taking care of her patient and apologizing to the men, the nurse removed the untouched food trays and left the group to enjoy their visit.

Brice who had been fairly well medicated before was now noticing the combination of antiemetic and analgesic packed a considerable punch. His hazy mind barely kept up with the warm conversation around him. He was aware and slightly confused by the strong protective presence of Hank Stanley at his side. While the three visiting firemen chatted comfortably, Brice abstractly noticed the men included him in the camaraderie.

Mike Stoker produced a brown bag containing two large containers of chicken and rice soup. To Brice's dismay Hank Stanley gently and firmly insisted Brice attempt to eat. When Brice's lethargic and uncoordinated hand couldn't manage the spoon, he found himself being fed bites of soup by the Captain of 51's. Someplace in his dazed mind he marveled at the experience of being swept up in the care these men obviously seemed to have for one another. When he could eat no more, to Brice's amazement Hank Stanley gently wiped Brice's face. Brice dazedly drank from a straw he found between his lips, and then slipped into warm peaceful slumber.

Hank Stanley gently removed Brice's eye glasses and carefully placed them on the bedside table where they would be clearly visible should they be needed. Seeing Brice was soundly asleep now, Captain Stanley turned his full attention to Johnny Gage.

Johnny hadn't received any medication since lunch and was fairly lucid though he observed silently his back and ribs were beginning bother him. When Mike produced some of his famous homemade chicken and rice soup, Johnny eagerly accepted the food.

"Oh Mike! Thanks man! Did ya see what they brought us for dinner?" Johnny said wrinkling his nose while eagerly reaching out to take the spoon Mike offered. "It was all the same color, and looked and smelled like puke! Honest! It's no wonder Brice there got sick!"

"I saw it." Roy remarked with an equally distasteful expression. "Man, who plans those meals?"

"I don't know, but the food in this place could kill a guy." Johnny exclaimed as he ravenously devoured soup and buttered bread. "Speaking of this place, I thought I was gonna get out of here today. What gives?"

Roy and Hank shared a look. Johnny didn't miss it. "Ah, come on…" He pleaded.

Standing beside Johnny, Roy reached out a hand to rest heavily on Johnny's shoulder. "Yeah, well….Dr. Brackett wants to keep you here until tomorrow. You really did a number on your back, and judging by the expression on your face Junior, you already know that."

"What expression?" Johnny harrumphed grumpily. "They're just bruises. At least if I were at home I wouldn't have to deal with someone shoving food designed to kill instantly at me."

The men shared a quiet laugh.

"They are pretty deep bruises Junior." Roy offered seriously. "Besides, Dr. Brackett wants to wean you off the I.V. painkiller and muscle relaxer and switch them to oral doses. They'll be doing that tonight and tomorrow morning. By tomorrow afternoon you'll be ready to be released. I'll drive over and pick you up when they let you go. You'll be coming home with JoAnne and me for a couple of days."

"Roy….I'd be fine at home. JoAnne isn't up to company." Johnny protested. He didn't want to impose, and besides Roy and JoAnne were sticklers for following certain rituals, like bed rest and medication administration.

"Uh Junior, if I don't bring you home with me tomorrow, I'll have to come stay at your place 'cause JoAnne will be angry with me. Orders from on high. What am I gonna do?" Roy teased. "Besides, JoAnne could use the company around the house. I have to be on duty Monday."

"Hey! So do I!" Johnny argued. But then he caught Cap's eye.

"You're not comin' back 'till the Doc's clear you for duty pal." Cap stated with finality.

"Which won't be any earlier than Wednesday of next week according to Dr. Brackett." Roy offered.

"He told you that?" Johnny sputtered in surprise. "He hasn't told me. I haven't really seen him much since I've been here, now that I think about it. Why haven't I seen Dr. Brackett?" Johnny questioned as he realized that except for his initial intense experience and the visit on Thursday he had seen little of the physician while he'd been at Rampart.

"Oh, you have." Roy replied smugly. "You just probably don't remember because you have been a little sleepy for a couple of days."

"Oh, yeah….a LITTLE sleepy. Try three sheets to the wind. It'll take me a week to recover from all the drugs they've been shooting into me." Johnny protested.

Everyone chuckled for a few seconds. When silence fell and lingered another voice of reason appeared.

"You know Johnny, I've fallen on my SCBA a couple of times. It can be painful." Mike offered. "The first time I did it, I didn't say anything about it. I was a boot, and I figured the guys on my shift would just think I was being a wimp. I ended up having to go to the emergency room, the muscle spasms got so bad. My Cap was pretty upset when he found out I hadn't told him I'd been injured." Remembering the ear chewing he'd gotten back then, Stoker shook his head. "And I _fell _on my tank. You likely got blown on to yours."

"Nah…." Johnny said waving Mike off with a dismissive gesture. "More like I flung myself backwards with Brice on top of me."

"Regardless. I think the point Mike's making is it can be a serious injury, and you'd better be darned glad you couldn't hide it from me. I'd have been pretty angry." Hank intoned with serious eyes meeting his junior medic's.

"I would'a told ya if I thought it was bad." Johnny defended.

His trio of friends glanced back and forth at one another, and then at Johnny. All three men, almost on cue crossed their arms over their chests and murmured clearly disbelievingly, "Uh huh."

At first Johnny thought to defend himself. But studying his crew mates, he changed his mind. They obviously knew him too well. Ducking his head so as not to look any of them in the eye; he sighed heavily.

After what seemed to be an eternal pause in which Johnny was extremely uncomfortable his Captain came to the rescue. "Well, this is perhaps a discussion for another day. But another day will certainly come unless we can help you my friend…." And he stepped over to rest his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "….figure out hiding injury is a bad plan. We care about you pal, and if I have to kick your skinny rump all the way into an ambulance every time I even think you could be hurt, I'll do it to keep ya safe. It would be far easier on everyone if you'd just learn to fess up."

Johnny looked up into the caring faces of his friends. Shifting uncomfortably in his bed, he desperately wished the building would fall down around him so this conversation would end.

As if it had been planned, a nurse breezed into the hospital room at just that moment.

Roy had to smile when Johnny's eyes darted from his Captain's to the incoming nurse. Roy knew the conversation had likely been tough for Johnny. He saw relief in his partner's brown eyes when the nurse entered. Then of course Johnny must have realized why the nurse had come, and Roy saw the expression in his partner's eyes flee from relief to apprehension.

Hank too noticed the emotions flickering through Johnny's eyes. He felt Johnny's shoulder under his hand become tense. Giving the shoulder a slight reassuring squeeze Hank smiled down at his youngest crew member.

"Take a breath Junior." Roy quietly suggested.

Johnny hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until he heard Roy's directive. Slowly he exhaled. With great effort he concentrated on breathing. Though his rational mind realized his friends were there to carry him through what by now they realized was a difficult moment, Johnny silently wished he could slip away from this instant, and appear sometime tomorrow when he would no longer have to deal with the I.V. medication.

"That's it partner." Roy coached softly. "It's gonna be all right. Remember, they are tapering you off the medication. This'll be a smaller dose than before. Just relax."

The nurse moved over to Brice and administered medication to the sleeping man. When she finished she approached Johnny's bed.

"Excuse me gentlemen, I have Mr. Gage's medication." She said. To her surprise, the tall dark haired man who was standing next to her patient's left arm did not step away from the bed as she expected he would. Instead he moved back allowing her access to the I.V. port while keeping a hand on the patient's shoulder. _"That's weird."_ She mused.

Unlike many patients, this one watched her every move with something resembling displeasure. Most people were pleased to get pain medication or muscle relaxer. This guy wasn't, and it was easy to see. "Mr. Gage." She said hoping to comfort him. "This will make you feel better."

Johnny sighed as he watched her proceed. "I know Miss. And it does. Let's just say I'm not real wild about how it gets me from here to feeling better." He sighed heavily. "I'll be o.k." He continued, and then glanced up into the eyes of each man standing around him. "These guys are here for me. They'll break my fall." He concluded with a hint of sarcasm and a small crocked Gage grin.

The efficient nurse made short work of administering the medication to her patient. "Break your fall?" She curiously quarried stepping back to allow the tall dark haired man to take a seat on the bed beside her patient.

Johnny took a breath as he felt the opening round with the drugs. "Yeah…. 'always feels like I'm falling. Ya know, slipping away. Tough for me." He softly answered. The explanation wasn't really for this nurse. Johnny didn't know her. What she thought didn't seem to matter too much at the moment.

Johnny's sotto voce admissions were for his friends. He knew Roy had always been puzzled by the fear Johnny was unable to hide when he was swept away by medication. Johnny had never told Roy much about his childhood and thankfully Roy hadn't asked. The numerous experiences in medical environments where a child's natural emotional response to trauma was buried with medication were a closely kept secret. Johnny hadn't shared his stories with anyone. Avoiding putting himself in situations where he'd have to remember, or experience was preferable.

But it seemed his friends weren't willing to let him continue to hide. These men, his brothers were a stubborn lot. Somehow Johnny was beginning to realize perhaps they intended to lend him their strength and allow him to find a way through some of his past emotional pain. It was a terrifying prospect for John Gage, but somehow he found a place inside where an epiphany was beginning to form. Tiny seeds of trust germinating as he bonded with these men lo these many years were beginning to sprout tentative leaves and roots. If these guys were stubborn enough to persist, then maybe Johnny could clip on the life line they offered and back off the cliff he was certain lay nearby.

Mike Stoker eased the hospital table down past the foot of the bed, and quietly sat next to Johnny's feet. Gently he placed his hands on the soles of Johnny's feet. His touch caused Johnny's brown eyes to meet Mike's silver grey gaze. "You know I'd never let you fall John." Mike softly assured with his gentle shy smile.

Johnny inhaled a deep ragged breath. Mike Stoker, this mysterious quiet pillar of strength was consciously offering to ground Johnny. The hands on his feet were warm and solid leaving no doubt about capability.

Mike saw in his friend's eyes a clear understanding of the journey ahead, and wisps of stories behind. Mike gently squeezed the feet he held, and allowed his eyes to solidly hold the flighty spirit he was permitted to briefly view.

Hank Stanly grasped Johnny's left hand then, and Johnny's eyes met his Captain's. "Got ya pal." Cap murmered.

Turning to look at his trusted Captain, Johnny had no doubt he was as good as his word. Strength and caring emanated from Hank Stanley. Every fiber of Johnny's being knew the truth of it.

Roy too sat next to Johnny on the bed. Roy's piercing blue eyes met Johnny's brown ones. No words were spoken between these two. Johnny remembered those blue eyes being the last thing he'd seen on several occasions when pain, blood loss, injury or medication had stolen consciousness away from him. He'd woken up with those eyes meeting him, guiding him through extubation, or from a drugged stupor into a more solid reality. Those eyes had planted some of the first seeds of trust. No assurances need be spoken aloud from his best friend whose heart reached out to him from those blue eyes.

Johnny blinked lazily. He could feel sleep luring him away. The temptation to fight clutched at him then. Instinctively his consciousness reached for the intuition to struggle.

"We are not gonna let ya fall." It was Hank Stanley's rich baritone voice. He felt hands on his feet, a solid hold on his left hand and Roy's warm dependable presence beside him. Strength and safety surrounded him, and Johnny chanced an easy journey as he quietly stepped from wakefulness into sleep.

Three brawny firemen watched their youngest brother easily surrender while allowing them to hold him safely in their care. Each felt honored to be included and accepted. They somehow knew trust on a very deep level had found root someplace in their brother's soul this night.


	17. Chapter 17

****Authors Note: **Chapter 16 and 17 were posted on the same day. I see by the numbers some people are probably missing 16 because they only looked to the last chapter thinking it was the only new one. I didn't want you to miss out.**

**Fragile**

**Chapter 17**

At seven o'clock a.m. Johnny and Craig were rudely jolted into Saturday morning when the nurse's aide who was to deliver breakfast in their hallway inadvertently slammed the cart noisily into the wall outside their room. The unexpected crash caused Johnny to bolt upright in bed. Craig woke suddenly too, but having been more heavily medicated than Johnny, Brice simply opened his eyes in response to the annoying racket.

Johnny had drifted into peaceful slumber the previous evening while under the watchful eye of three insistently present friends. It had been a momentous event for John. His departure from consciousness in such a defenseless psychological place left him unusually vulnerable upon awakening. The invading racket from the hallway had caused Johnny to suddenly jerk himself upright in bed. The harsh noises ripping him from sleep's embrace triggered a huge adrenaline rush, and the inevitable hyper-vigilance anyone in a panicked state might experience. Frantic brown eyes darted around the room searching vainly for impending danger.

Noting Gage's exaggerated startle response, Brice felt compelled to offer some reassurance to the obviously distraught man. "It's all right Gage. We're at Rampart, remember. It sounds like it might be breakfast time." Craig intentionally kept his own voice gentle and calm.

Hearing Craig's soft soothing voice brought Johnny back to reality. "What the heck!" He breathlessly said as he consciously attempted to control his respiration while his heart continued to race.

"Lie down Gage." Craig unceremoniously ordered. "You need to relax. You are going to hyperventilate if you can't get your breathing under control.

Though still fairly rattled, some place in Johnny's brain realized Brice was right. Unsteadily he brought his body again into a horizontal position. "Geeze! I hate hospitals." He grumbled.

"They are necessary." Brice commented flatly. "Hating them is not an effective use of time or energy Gage. Considering our line of work, the probability we will spend some time as patients is greatly increased over that of most people."

Though he could live with a different line of discussion, Johnny listened to Craig's soft calm monotone allowing the cadence and tempo of the words to calm his respiration and heart rate.

After a few moments Johnny finally spoke. "Uh….Brice…. If you're tryin' ta help me calm down, could I request a different conversation? Your voice is soothing and all, but thinkin' about how many times I could end up as a patient isn't gonna do the trick for me."

"Very well." Brice agreed. "I suppose you are correct.'

After a few moments where neither man spoke, Craig broke the silence.

"Gage?" Brice began.

"Huh? Johnny answered. He was feeling better now, and would have been fine without the conversation. But, he couldn't see being rude to Brice.

"Your Captain and crew mates last night…" Brice tentatively approached the topic.

"Yeah?" Johnny answered with suspicion.

Johnny wondered where this conversation was leading. _"Oh man….! Brice wasn't awake during all that was he? No! Couldn't have been. That anti-nausea drug knocked him out so well Cap had to feed him. No way he heard what happened. Besides, the nurse gave his meds first."_

"Are they usually so….um… well, I suppose nurturing is the best word I can find." Brice hesitantly posed his question.

"_Phew! He didn't catch last night's little show."_ Johnny thought with relief. Johnny smiled quietly to himself in the darkened room. "We've got a pretty tight crew. Is that what you're askin'?"

"I suppose. But, your Captain was very kind to me. I'm not one of your crew. Why did he include me?" Brice asked; his honest confusion and dismay clearly apparent.

"That's where you're wrong Brice. You were my partner, under Cap's command. He takes care of his men." Johnny confidently answered. "Your Captain would do the same."

"He would make sure we are taken care of. But….."

"But what Craig?" Johnny had a feeling Brice's question went deeper than the words the reluctant man was willing to speak. Somehow it wouldn't surprise him if Craig were having trouble with the idea Hank Stanley had seen Brice vulnerable, and offered physical comfort, even to the point of feeding the man.

"Is Stanley always so demonstrative?" Brice inquired.

"Are ya askin me if Cap has ever…..what? Fed me? Hugged me? Held me?..." Johnny figured he might as well jump into the conversation he could tell Brice wanted to have, but was so delicately attempting to avoid.

A long silence met Johnny's question.

"Brice?"

A heavy sigh from the other side of the room.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm asking." Brice reluctantly confirmed.

Brice heard Johnny's soft chuckle. _"I do not remember saying anything humorous. Why is he laughing? I wonder if he comprehends why I am making such an inquiry. Probably not. Gage is far too immature to understand my issues. There is likely little chance he realizes I might be uncomfortable allowing anyone to see me out of control as I was last night."_ Craig quietly pondered.

When Johnny stopped chuckling, Brice heard a long ragged sigh from the other bed.

"Are you all right Gage?" Brice questioned; concern evident in his voice.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine." Johnny confirmed in a husky voice. "And the answer to your question is yes. In fact, Cap is in some ways almost like a surrogate father to me. I'm not a real touchy-feely kind of guy. Guess it's because I had…well, let's just say I had a less than ideal childhood. Cap and Roy….well…they have gotten me through some tough spots…." After a long pause Johnny laughed harshly, raw emotion clearly evident in the sound. "And I'm sure they'll see me through many more….whether I wanna go or not…."

Brice was stunned by Johnny's words. This gregarious personable human dynamo had admitted to a less than ideal childhood. Brice wondered how their stories compared. Could they have similar demons? Did John Gage have control issues too? When Craig considered this concept his mind began to come up with various instances where John had quickly taken the lead. Then his mind drifted to John Gage's reluctance to ever admit he was injured.

The lengthy silence from Brice's side of the room was beginning to make Johnny uncomfortable. Just before Johnny came up with something, anything to say Brice spoke again.

"I see." He said quietly. "You and I have more in common than we realized John. I too had a…how did you put it…? Less than ideal childhood."

Johnny heard Brice's soft voice retreat in dynamic level as he spoke. _"Wow! Is that why he's such a control freak? Oooh…. Hmmm…. Well I'll be darned. His grasp for rules and regulations is his attempt to control the world around him. And….I guess…. mine is more physical. If I keep movin'….."_ Johnny reached up and rubbed a heavy hand across his eyes in an effort to wipe away the thoughts he was having.

The room was silent again for a few minutes. This time Johnny spoke first.

"We do have more in common than I thought Craig. You control your world with rules and words. I control mine by doing and running." Johnny stated flatly.

Immediately after the words had left his mouth Johnny regretted speaking them aloud, and he wished he hadn't gotten into such a personal conversation while under the influence of pain medication and muscle relaxer.

Craig Brice was absolutely horrified to hear John Gage flatly speak Craig's deepest held secret aloud. _"Whoa! He does know? I suppose John Gage is more mature than I realized." _Craig's breath began to come in shorter, shallower gasps. He felt his heart rate quicken, and realized the conversation was entirely too close now for comfort.

When Craig could finally regain some control of his own breathing he managed to speak. "John, I believe I would benefit from a change in the topic of conversation. I am finding hyperventilation a real possibility for myself at this moment."

Johnny smiled in Brice's direction then. "Yeah, I know what ya mean."

Thankfully the door opened then, and the noisy breakfast delivery person entered the room. Unceremoniously flipping on the lights she cheerfully greeted the two men while she helped them sit up in bed, and set out their breakfasts.

While the pair were not thrilled with the hospital's version of breakfast, it was at least more appealing than dinner had been the previous night. Both men ate sporadically of their meal. It was Johnny who eventually found a new topic for discussion.

"Ya know; if I'd had to predict where I would be this morning, I never would have come up with where I am right now as an answer. I was supposed to be on duty today, looking forward to working with another substitute for Roy. Life is just unpredictable isn't it? One minute you're goin' along feeling like you're safe and you've got a plan. Then something happens, and everything is suddenly different."

"Yes, but Gage…..You of all people should know safety is an illusion." Brice replied as he sipped his coffee. "You and I better than most people know things can suddenly change."

Johnny chewed thoughtfully on a piece of toast. "Yeah….I do know. But life starts goin' along and well….I guess I just forget. I start thinkin' maybe somehow I can control what happens around me."

Brice set his cup down heavily and turned his head to stare at John. "You make an interesting point Gage. Safety is an illusion….and if I heard you correctly the same hypothesis can be applied to control."

Both men made eye contact for an eternal second. Then Johnny began fishing around on his night table. When he found the object of his search he held it up for Craig to view. It was the television remote control.

Brice nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, a little television might be a pleasant diversion."

Johnny smiled and clicked on the t.v. set effectively ending a conversation that seemed to persist in traveling in uncomfortable directions for both men.

* * *

><p>Hospitals not unlike prisons are societies dependent on routine. Brice and Gage finished their breakfast, and found themselves swept into the flow of the hospital routine. Baths were given, sheets were changed. Personal needs were attended, physician rounds were made and the nurse with medication appeared.<p>

Craig Brice greeted the nurse's arrival with relief. The brutal morning awakening, his chat with John Gage and his injuries had colluded to produce a significant amount of physical discomfort. Feeling the pain medication glide into his arm brought welcome relief for Brice, and he willingly slipped into a quiet nap.

Johnny was not happy to see the nurse bring medication for him. "Good morning Mr. Gage" the nurse said as she sat her medication tray down on his bedside table.

"Hi." He said reluctantly.

"I'm going to give your I.V. medication first, and then I'll come back in a bit and pull your I.V. I understand you will be discharged this evening, and the doctor has ordered oral medication for you this afternoon." She explained as she efficiently worked.

Johnny sighed heavily while he watched her prepare the first syringe. "Let's just get this over with, huh?" He stated.

"Will do." She pleasantly replied as she deftly began the first injection.

Johnny could tell the medication dosages were decreased because he wasn't dragged into sleep immediately. Instead, he relaxed comfortably in bed until a peaceful nap slowly claimed him.

When he woke, the I.V. in his left forearm had been removed leaving behind only a band-aid as a reminder. Glancing over at Brice he could easily see the man was deep in a medicated respite from pain. Watching Craig sleep peacefully Johnny could only shake his head in wonderment. _"How can a control freak like Craig allow himself to slip away so easily with those meds? I'd think it would bother him. Hmmmm…wonder if it's a mind game he plays? That'd make sense I guess."_

Still medicated himself, Johnny too slipped back into a light sleep. When he woke again it was to the cherubic face of Mama Lopez. "Hello sweet child." She greeted him warmly as she gently hugged him and planted a motherly kiss on his forehead. "I didn't mean to wake you. But Marco asked me to bring you and Craig lunch. I was out doing some errands before noon mass, and I thought I would drop your food off. Are you hungry?"

Before Johnny could formulate an answer his stomach noisily growled. Mama Lopez chuckled heartily as she gently patted Johnny's flat tummy. "I think your body answers yes." She said smiling fondly.

"I've brought chicken pot pie." She declared producing a large covered container and placing it on the table at the end of Johnny's bed. After setting Johnny up with a heaping plate of crisp and juicy goodness, Mama looked over to notice Brice had stirred and was now quietly watching the pair.

"Ah…you are awake Mr. Brice." She proclaimed much to Craig's dismay.

As he watched the plump Hispanic woman who had been visiting with John Gage filled a plate with something that smelled delicious. To his amazement she brought the plate over, and sat it down on his bed table. Next she carefully raised the head of his bed, plumped and arranged his pillows and drew the table up so he would be able to reach it. "There now. You eat Mr. Brice." She commanded.

Craig squinted down at the food letting the aroma of chicken and crisp pie crust fill his nose. "This smells wonderful." Brice exclaimed with as much energy as his drugged mind could summon.

"You are squinting Mr. Brice. Do you have glasses I could get for you?" Mama Lopez was the ever vigilant mother who always knew how her children felt, when they needed to use the restroom, or when they were sick. It was only natural for her to notice Craig Brice's visual difficulty.

Surprised by her thoughtful question, Brice looked up. "Yes I do. They are on the bedside table." He said nodding his head toward the table on the left side of his bed.

The practical woman made disapproving sounds by clicking her tongue. "You can't reach them there." She observed. "Let me get them for you. Before I leave I'll ask the nurse to come in and move your night table to the other side of your bed. You should be able to reach your things, and your water. You must be thirsty too, if you've been lying there all this time unable to reach your water."

Craig Brice turned his gaze on Johnny as Mama Lopez fitted his glasses onto his face. Next she poured out a glass of water, and placed on his bed tray. "Here drink. It's important to drink when you are injured." She fussed.

Johnny toasted his roommate with a spoonful of pot pie. "She's Mama. She takes care of us." He briefly and calmly explained. Grinning at Brice's obvious amazement Johnny returned to his meal.

When she had insured both men could eat no more, Mama Lopez packed up her things, and left them with instructions they should rest. Shortly after she had departed an orderly appeared in the room to re-arrange Brice's night stand.

Craig Brice could only shake his head in wonderment. The men at his station cared for one another in times of injury or need. It was a tradition all men in the fire service honored and accepted. But this was something else. Craig sensed deep affection between the people who had visited and tended to John Gage. They cared for him, and would only allow him to be taken care of, even when he protested. The group dynamic was astonishing. Craig was in awe, and uncharacteristically speechless.

"I am impressed Gage." Brice began. But he did not know how to finish.

Johnny grinned at Brice. "Yeah, I know. The guys and their families are pretty terrific, aren't they?"

Craig nodded slowly, allowing conversation to lag and relative silence to fill the room.

For a while both men strolled with their own thoughts and waltzed with their demons. Soon full bellies and abundantly medicated blood streams softly ushered John Gage and Craig Brice away into an early afternoon nap.


	18. Chapter 18

**Fragile**

**Chapter 18**

Ironically, it was the nurse bringing medication who disturbed Johnny's early afternoon nap. He'd been sleeping peacefully when someone gently touched his arm, and called his name. Slowly he opened his eyes and eventually focused on the beautiful blond in a nurse's uniform. He couldn't help but muse waking up to a gorgeous blond in a nursing outfit was sort of one of those all time classic male fantasies. When his vision cleared enough, he realized the lovely woman who was standing beside his bed was none other than Shelby MaKee.

"Hey!" Johnny exclaimed softly raising himself onto his elbows. "What are you doing here? Isn't this a little out of your jurisdiction?"

Smiling warmly she reached over and pressed the button to raise his hospital bed allowing him to sit more upright. In her soft Mae West drawl Shelby replied alluringly. "Well, ya did ask if I wanted to play hospital with ya. Since you've been here and couldn't come up and see me, I thought I'd come and see you sometime." And she winked playfully at Johnny. She held out a small white cup containing medication. "Besides, I'm doing some more overtime, and I am medication nurse for your ward today. Here, I've brought your meds."

Johnny smiled broadly at her teasing. "Well, I have to admit, waking up to a beautiful blond in a nurses outfit was pretty exciting." He replied while he reluctantly accepted the small container she pressed into his hand. He brought the cup up to inspect its contents. Grimacing, his eyes met hers again. "But, I'll have to admit, when I suggested we play hospital this…" and Johnny held the paper cup up to her, "…wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I was thinking more, well….touch, less medication."

Shelby listened while she poured some water into the glass beside his bed. At his words she laughed softly. "I'm sure you were. But, since it's my job today to pass out drugs, humor me and take those." She handed him the cup smiling warmly. "Any other forms of play we can save for another day, if you are still interested."

Grinning once more Johnny accepted the water. Brown eyes twinkling with delight he said, "Oh yeah. Ya know, before I ended up here, Roy and I had made plans for having you over to Roy's place for dinner. When I get out of this place, how would ya like to come eat with Roy's family and me?"

Shelby's blue eyes sparkled mischievously. "Roy mentioned it after you were asleep Wednesday. It sounds like fun." Then gesturing with her head to indicate he should get on with taking his pills she continued, "But first we have to get you better. Let me see you swallow those."

Johnny studied the contents of the medication cup again. _"Great! Sure looks like a lot of pills in there."_ He thought grumpily; his expressive face easily betraying him to the nurse. Bringing his gaze up to meet hers again Johnny sighed heavily before he remarked, "What is all this stuff?"

Shelby looked at the card that had been sitting in the slot where Johnny's medication was stowed for delivery. "Looks like anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxer and pain medication." She concisely replied. "Now quit stalling and take your meds. I've got other patients to see."

"Hmmf! Bossy! You'll fit right in over at the DeSoto's place." Johnny cracked before tossing the contents of the small cup into his mouth and washing them down with some water.

Shelby smiled sweetly and took the two cups from his hands. "Good to know." She said.

"Yeah…" He half heartedly grumbled under his breath.

Shelby gently patted his cheek causing him to raise his eyes to meet hers. "I'll see you later Johnny." Shelby said. "I do have other patients to pester."

He smiled at her then. "Yeah, I know. Say, you don't find it sort a' funny to wake a guy up to give him stuff that'll make him sleep?" He prodded her. Johnny was enjoying visiting with the sweet young lady. The comfortable banter was pleasant, therefore worth prolonging.

She picked up her tray lightly remarking, "Nope. Especially you. If you're asleep, I know you won't be flirting with any of the other nurses." Her cheerful zing delivered, she turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Ouch!" Johnny called after her. "Ya don't have ta worry. They've been following your evil plan pretty well around here for the past three days. I've been wiped out since I last saw you."

Turning to look at him she smiled wickedly. "Mwaa ha ha ha ha ha" Shelby laughed in her best Halloween fun house horror laugh. Then she turned and breezed out the door leaving a chuckling John Gage behind.

"Gage!" Brice spoke emphatically from the other bed without bothering to open his eyes.

"Hey Brice. You awake?" Johnny said turning to look toward the other bed.

"Now I am. Your flirting disturbed me." Brice stated in a grumpy voice.

"Oh, Sorry. Did she give your meds?" Johnny said.

"If the drowsiness I am experiencing is an indication, I would have to confirm she did. I was asleep when the drugs were administered. Your voices woke me." Brice confirmed.

Johnny sighed heavily settling himself back against his pillow. "Sorry. She and I have, well….we've gone out a couple of times."

"Yes, I gathered that much from your conversation." Brice dryly remarked, though more softly and slowly than before.

Johnny looked over at his dozing roommate. "Go to sleep Brice. Not like you'll have any choice in the matter if they're givin you what they gave me these past few days. I'll try to keep it down over here." Johnny softly assured.

Johnny glanced around his bed noticing someone had left a couple of magazines on the night stand. He picked one of them up to notice it was the latest issue of Wheels and Gears. With a pleased smile on his face, Johnny opened the magazine and began to flip through the pages. He didn't know who had thoughtfully brought his favorite magazine along, but smiled affectionately at his friend's consideration as he quietly read. At some point in the reading his eyelids again grew heavy, and Johnny drifted off to sleep with the magazine resting on his chest.

When next Johnny woke, he found himself looking into the piercing blue eyes of Dr. Kelly Brackett. "Hey Doc." He sleepily greeted the physician.

"Hi Johnny. How are you feeling?" Brackett inquired.

"I'm sleepy" Johnny confessed. After some thoughtful silence he continued, "I'm still pretty sore, but it is a lot better than it has been. Did you come by to write my parole from this place?"

Dr. Brackett smiled fondly at Johnny. "I came by to examine you so we can make sure you're ready to be discharged."

"Let's do it!" Johnny said while Brackett began to poke and prod.

After the examination was complete and while Dr. Brackett was making notes in Johnny's chart, Johnny sat waiting expectantly. "Well? Do I pass?" He finally asked.

Looking up from the chart Dr. Brackett removed his stethoscope from around his neck and coiled it up stuffing it into his pocket. "Your bruises are still pretty colorful, and look painful. How is the pain now?"

Johnny sighed. Silently he thought, "_I guess telling him I'm fine probably isn't gonna fly. Besides, he is my Doc. Guess an honest answer might be in order." _With an extended sigh Johnny allowed his eyes to meed Dr. Brackett's. "Still a little sore Doc. A good hot shower would feel wonderful right about now though." Johnny answered.

Dr. Brackett smiled. "Yeah, bet it would. Well, I am going to discharge you provided you promise to swallow the medication I will prescribe for you to take home. Come see me on Tuesday evening, I'll be in around five. I'll let you know then when it'll be alright for you to return to work. Take it easy for the next couple of days. Get plenty of rest, and Johnny don't overdo it physically."

"Yeah but Doc, can ya take it kinda easy on the drugs? This stuff makes me pretty drowsy." Johnny began to protest.

"Johnny…." Dr. Brackett launched into his admonishment of the young medic when he was interrupted by a voice from the doorway.

"Prescribe what you think he needs to take Doc. We'll **help** him get them down." Roy's voice said from the doorway of the room. "Johnny's gonna spend the next couple of days with JoAnne, the kids and me." And then Roy turned an overly warm indulgent smile on his mutinous partner.

Johnny rolled his eyes at Roy, and then raised his hands in silent surrender. "All right Doc. I'll do what you want. Can I get out of here now?" He helplessly agreed.

Kel Brackett turned smiling at the sound of Roy's voice. "Oh, good to see you Roy. Glad to hear our friend here will spend a couple of days with you." Then Dr. Brackett turned back to face Johnny as he continued to speak to Roy. "I'll need to see him here again Tuesday evening."

Then directing the next remark specifically to Johnny Brackett said, "Oh, and Johnny, you shouldn't drive while you are taking the medication I'll be sending home with you."

Johnny sighed heavily. "Yeah Doc., I know the drill. Besides…." Johnny nodded his head gesturing toward Roy, "….you are sending me home with a well trained, bossy paramedic. Write your orders. I'm sure my partner there will help me remember to follow them….to the letter."

Roy smiled sweetly at Johnny, and then turned lightly saluting the physician. "Count on me Doc." He said with a voice that at once held serious steel and gentle humor.

Roy entering the room, and the sounds of conversation had wakened Craig Brice. Silently he observed the interactions between John Gage, Dr. Brackett and Roy DeSoto. Brice's relationship with Dr. Brackett had always been much more formal than what he was witnessing between Brackett and these two men. Brice marveled at the easy camaraderie among the trio. He watched in wonder as yet again the people around John Gage encircled him with empathetic persistent care. For his part, Gage seemed to on some levels allow the care, and on others continue a graceful emotional dance of avoidance.

"_I wonder if Gage even realizes how much these men value him. They almost seem to force affection on him while he outwardly appears to struggle. I understand the resistance, but how he manages to inspire the effort is a truly wondrous thing! Dr. Brackett is customarily so stoic, efficient, even distant. Yet with Gage and DeSoto he seems warm and friendly. I wonder how the relationship between these three developed to such a deep level. And…. John Gage….for all his immaturity offers the impression to on some levels understand what is happening, and even allows some of it to land on him. I have no doubt he is capable of avoiding their care. He is after all smart, quick and agile. He covers emotion well when it suits him. How were Dr. Brackett, Gage's crew and captain able to step so close. He must have allowed it. But…how…and why?" _Brice's silent reverie was interrupted when after Dr. Brackett left, Roy DeSoto turned to close the privacy curtain for Johnny to dress and noticed Brice was awake.

Pausing with his hand on the curtain Roy looked into Craig's eyes. "Hey Brice. How are ya feelin today?" Roy questioned.

"Hello DeSoto. I am in significant pain, but I am certain I will recover." Brice frankly proclaimed.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to get a nurse for you?" Roy asked letting his hand drop from the curtain and taking a couple of steps toward Brice's bed.

Craig held up his right hand to stop Roy's approach. "No thank you DeSoto. It is almost time for the nurse to come for medication administration. I am sure I'll be alright until she arrives." Brice assured the other man.

Roy conceded, and then pulled the curtain to allow Johnny to get out of bed and change in to the clothing Roy had brought for the trip from the hospital.

Johnny dressed, and reluctantly climbed into the wheelchair brought by an orderly. As Roy and Johnny were prepared to leave the room Roy re-opened the privacy curtain and Johnny was wheeled over to shake hands with Brice.

"You take it easy Brice. Don't let 'em keep you in here too long." Johnny said smiling.

"They will keep me until the physicians feel I am sufficiently healed to return home." Craig concisely responded as he shook Johnny's offered hand. "Gage, thank you for pulling me down behind that industrial refrigerator during the explosion. You probably saved me much more significant injury."

Johnny waved him away with a dismissive hand gesture. "Nah…it was nothin' You'd have done the same for me." Johnny said as the orderly turned the wheelchair over to Roy.

"Well, we gotta go Brice. We'll keep checkin' up on you." Roy said as he turned Johnny's wheelchair toward the door.

As Roy steered Johnny's wheelchair toward the hospital room door, the portal was opened by the hulking figure of Bob Bellingham. The medics exchanged salutations and well wishes before Roy and Johnny left Bob and Brice to what looked to be dinner, judging by the large brown bag Bellingham carried.


	19. Chapter 19

**Fragile**

**Chapter 19**

Roy took Johnny by the ward nurses station to pick up discharge paperwork, after care instructions and prescription medication. The nurse on duty at the nurses' station was Shelby. She was seated, making notations in charts following medication rounds. Smiling warmly at Johnny and Roy, Shelby handed Johnny his paperwork and meds before biding the two medics farewell. After taking the elevator downstairs the duo left the building through the emergency room area where cordial words and farewells were shared with Dixie and Dr. Early who happened to be loitering in the hallway when the pair passed by.

Roy seated Johnny in the new family station wagon, and after returning the wheelchair to the hospital building, the pair of medics began the drive to the DeSoto home. Johnny was immensely relieved to be escaping Rampart, and he sat comfortably in the front seat while Roy drove. Johnny watched the scenery pass by on a lovely California day and reveled in his new found freedom.

When the men arrived at Roy's home, the car was parked in the garage allowing Johnny to easily make his way into the house. Roy gathered up Johnny's things as he followed his as yet unsteady partner through the door.

Johnny had been a guest in the DeSoto home in both healthy and injured states. His guess about how life would be for the next couple of days played out pretty much as he'd expected it would. JoAnne having been injured almost a full week was beginning to heal nicely, and with her crutches was becoming fairly mobile. Any help she needed for the remainder of Saturday and Sunday was quickly and easily offered by Roy.

As Johnny had predicted, Roy was his usual tiresome self when it came to insisting Johnny take medication precisely as the dosage and time intervals were stated on the medication bottles. While the regimen was irritating for Johnny, he secretly had to admit the drugs Dr. Brackett prescribed helped more than Johnny would have ever confessed to Roy. By Monday morning when Roy was preparing to leave for work, Johnny found he felt significantly better than he had Saturday evening when he'd been released from Rampart.

Accustomed to rising early, Johnny woke Monday morning when Roy's footsteps could be heard in the hallway. Slowly Johnny rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and gingerly eased his stiff body from the warm comfort of his bed. After visiting the hallway facilities, Johnny shuffled into the DeSoto kitchen to find Roy rooting around in the cupboard beginning breakfast preparations. A fresh pot of coffee nearing completion of the brew cycle filled the room with a delicious rich aroma.

Johnny stopped in the kitchen doorway to sniff the air approvingly. "Mornin' partner." He offered while walking over to the cabinet where mugs were kept. Johnny opened the cabinet and withdrew two mugs, glancing with raised eyebrows at Roy. "Want me to pour you some coffee?"

Roy reached into the refrigerator to retrieve bacon, eggs and butter. Placing the items on the countertop beside the stovetop Roy nodded to Johnny. "Yeah, thanks."

Johnny filled two cups with coffee, and placed one within Roy's reach. After taking a careful sip of hot fragrant liquid, Johnny exhaled a deep satisfied sigh. "You make decent coffee Roy."

Roy picked up his own mug and enjoyed a quick swallow. "Decent?" He said with mock indignation. "I make darned good coffee. Better than yours!"

Johnny grinned good naturedly. "Hah! Says who?" He teased while picking up bacon and beginning to lay it onto the griddle Roy had placed on the stove top.

Both men chatted and sipped while flawlessly sharing the task of breakfast preparation for the DeSoto clan. A meal of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast was assembled with a tray of food and drink laid out for Roy to take upstairs to JoAnne. While Roy delivered breakfast in bed to his wife, Johnny fixed two plates of food to slide into the oven for Jennifer and Chris when they woke. Next Johnny prepared plates for himself and Roy, and set them on the kitchen table along with glasses of orange juice and milk. After refilling his own coffee cup, Johnny sat down to eat.

Just as Johnny had finished spreading peanut butter onto his toast, Roy returned to the kitchen. Glancing down at Johnny's goo covered toast Roy grinned.

"You and your peanut butter toast!" Roy said grimacing. "I don't know how you can eat peanut butter this early in the morning." He teased while refilling his own coffee cup before settling himself at the table with Johnny.

Johnny looked over at his newly seated friend and deliberately took a large satisfying bite of peanut butter incrusted golden crisp bread. Licking his lips following the bite he chewed happily before replying "Like this."

Roy was spreading butter and jelly on his own toast then and only shook his head while grinning. "You're a nut Johnny." Roy concluded as he took a satisfying bite of his own crunchy bread.

The men indulged themselves in subdued munching for several minutes. When hunger had somewhat subsided for Johnny he set his fork down and slurped coffee thoughtfully. Looking over at Roy who was continuing to consume breakfast unabashedly, Johnny questioned. "So who is my replacement supposed to be today?"

After swallowing the bite of food in his mouth, and taking a long drink of milk to wash down the food, Roy looked thoughtful. "Oh, I can't remember. Cap told me yesterday when he called, but the name escapes me at the moment. Some newbie. Trained over at 8's. Just finished, and hasn't been assigned a regular station yet." Roy remarked before inhaling the last of the eggs on his plate.

Johnny who had also gone back to eating stopped and looked over at his partner. With a wide grin and raised eyebrows Johnny said, "Aaaah…So you're gonna get to spend the day being extended trainer." And Johnny chuckled mischievously to himself before continuing to polish off the remnants of his own meal.

Roy wiped his mouth, and crumpled up his paper napkin. Sighing heavily he replied, "Yeah, looks like it." Then turning his gaze on Johnny, Roy tossed the napkin into Johnny's face saying, "You better spend today and tomorrow resting and healing. I'd prefer to use my time working with an equal rather than nurse maid a baby medic. Who's gonna watch my back today while I'm looking over this kid's shoulder?"

Roy saw Johnny's expression turn from amused to serious. His friend's sad brown eyes met Roy's and Johnny said, "Yeah well, you just better be careful out there today. I'd feel pretty terrible if somethin' happened to you 'cause I wasn't there to take care of you."

Roy chuckled. "Oh Junior, don't beat yourself up. You got hurt doing your job. It's not your fault I'm workin' with a sub today. I'm just giving ya a hard time."

Johnny took another sip of his coffee before he answered. "I know that Roy. But, truth is we do sorta watch out for one another. It's tough working with a replacement. Ya never know what you're gettin', and then whoever ya get has different ways of working and stuff like that. It's tough, I know. But a new guy fresh out of training?" And Johnny closed his eyes and shook his head. "Just be careful out there." Johnny implored allowing his serious brown eyes to again capture Roy's blue ones.

Roy smiled softly at his friend. "I'm a big boy partner. I've got it covered." He said dismissively rising from the table to clear away the dishes.

Johnny too got up from the table and brought the remaining dirty dishes to the sink where the two men hastily rinsed them before stowing them in the dishwasher. When the table had been cleared save for their two coffee mugs, Johnny picked up the coffee carafe and walked over to refill the cups.

Roy dried his hands on a kitchen towel while watching Johnny walk toward the kitchen table. Roy's blue eyes followed his partner's progress and noticed Johnny replace the coffee pot on the stove before returning to sit at the table. Shaking his head with a trace of a grin forming in the corners of his mouth, Roy stepped over to the cabinet above the fridge where medication was stored in the DeSoto home. Opening the cabinet Roy retrieved three bottles which he carried over and plunked down on the table in front of Johnny.

"Forget something?" Roy questioned taking his place at the table once again.

Johnny looked at the bottles, then at his partner. Johnny's exaggerated irritable sigh followed before he defensively replied in a mocking voice, "No Mother, I didn't forget anything. I'd have gotten to 'em." Grumpily he opened each bottle and extracted the appropriate number of tablets before swallowing them with a coffee chaser. When he'd finished and recapped the bottles, Johnny turned a sharp gaze on Roy snapping, "There! Happy now?"

Johnny expected Roy to give him one of those very Roy condescendingly fatherly patient looks in response. But, instead he got a serious and appraising gaze before Roy answered.

"Johnny, you need to take your meds today. I can tell you're feeling better this morning. But even if you think you're feeling better, take the pills anyway. Dr. Brackett wants you to take 'em for at least the rest of today and tomorrow." Roy's eyes pinned Johnny deliberately. "Promise?"

Johnny waved a dismissive hand at Roy. "Ya worry too much Roy. I told ya I'd take 'em, and I will. I just hadn't gotten to it yet. Stop bein' such a mother hen." Johnny groused.

Roy pressed his lips together in a grim line. "Uh huh." Roy grumbled in a tone clearly implying his disbelief.

A protracted silence settled on the room then as both men alternately sipped coffee and eyed one another. Finally Johnny relented. "I'll do what I promised Roy. Now go to work, or you'll end up late and assigned latrines." He softly muttered.

Johnny's reply brought a warm smile to Roy's face before Roy glanced at his wristwatch hastily. "Nope, not running late at all. In fact, I've got time to go up and grab JoAnne's empty breakfast tray before waking the kids. Say, can you get Chris and Jennifer fed and ready for school so Jo doesn't have to get up?" He said as he stood from the table, gulped his coffee once more before walking over to set the cup into the kitchen sink.

Johnny smiled at his friend. "No problem. I'll take care of 'em." He said as he too stood from the table, scooped up the pill bottles and stowed them in the cabinet. "I'll get Jennifer and Chris's breakfast set out while you go wake 'em."

* * *

><p>Roy arrived at 51's just a few minutes before duty was to begin. He quickly snatched his duffle and extra uniforms from the car before striding through the open apparatus bay door and into the locker room. While he secured his belongings in his locker, Roy noticed the man who had to be his partner du jour getting dressed at the far end of the row of lockers.<p>

Covertly Roy studied the young man. His new partner was very young; early twenties at most. The man had thick auburn hair worn in the standard fire department clean short style. He was about an inch shorter than Roy with a slim muscular build. If the other man's somewhat frenzied movements and downcast head were an indication, the new paramedic was nervous about the upcoming shift. Roy sighed quietly to himself thinking "_Young and scared too. Just the sort of combination it takes to make for an overly intense day. That's what I don't need. Guess I should introduce myself, and try to put the guy at ease."_

Closing the door to his locker, Roy walked the few steps across the locker room. "Hi, I'm Roy DeSoto." He said in his most welcoming voice, offering an outstretched hand to the new man.

The other man jumped at the sound of Roy's voice. Quickly he raised his head to allow green eyes to peer from under thick lashes at Roy. "Oh hi, I'm Ricky Wesley." He said grasping Roy's hand in a firm handshake.

Roy reached out with his other hand to pat the other medic's shoulder comfortingly. "Didn't mean to startle ya there." He soothed.

Ricky let his hand fall from Roy's smiling shyly. "Oh, no. It wasn't you. I was off in a world of my own. This is my first shift since my paramedic training. I guess I'm a little excited." He admitted.

Roy took a quick look at his wristwatch, and then remarked. "Well, just relax. You'll do fine. They wouldn't have let you graduate the program if they hadn't thought you were gonna be a good medic. Say, why don't we go over and grab a cup of coffee. Roll call is in ten minutes, and then I'll show you the squad."

Ricky closed his locker and followed Roy from the locker room through the apparatus bay. Entering the kitchen they met up with all the other men from their shift as well as Charlie Dwyer and Phil Durahm from the C shift.

Charlie had been sitting at the kitchen table when Roy entered the day room. "Hey Roy!" Dwyer called. "How's your wife and family?"

"Hey Dwyer." Roy greeted the other medic. "They're fine. JoAnne is feeling better, and I left her at home today with Johnny for company."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I heard about that warehouse explosion. How is Gage doing?" Dwyer replied, standing to empty and rinse his coffee mug.

"He's doing better, though you know Johnny….." Roy began.

Charlie raised a hand to stop Roy saying, "I know, I know…. He was fine before, and hating the down time, as usual?" Charlie said with a wry grin.

Roy and all the A shift crew shared a warm laugh before Roy answered Charlie. "Yep, you got it."

"When's Gage comin' back to work?" Dwyer questioned.

Roy and Ricky were now seated at the table having procured fresh mugs of steaming brew. "Don't know. He's gonna see Brackett Tuesday evening. We'll find out for sure then. Why? You up again on the overtime schedule?" Roy questioned with twinkling eyes and a sly smile.

Dwyer shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, could be. But hey, maybe Ricky here will get to cover any other shifts Gage misses." He said patting the young medic on the shoulder before turning to walk out the door. "See you guys later." Dwyer called as he exited the kitchen.

Captain Stanley entered the kitchen as Dwyer was leaving. Clapping his hands together in the gesture his men had come to know as a physical indication it was time to get started with something, Stanley had time to say "Roll call in….."

Before the remainder of the sentence could slip from his lips, the station tones began to sound in an ominously long string sending the crew to a structure fire.


	20. Chapter 20

**Fragile**

**Chapter 20**

The crew of Las Angeles County Fire Station 51 arrived on scene for a structure fire on the corner of 223rd Street and Weston Avenue at 08:10 hours. There were several trucks already on scene along with the Battalion Chief. Upon arrival engine 51 was given instructions to lay lines from the hydrant on the corner, and cover the east exposures of a heavily involved three story office building. Squad 51 was ordered to proceed with search and rescue inside the building.

Roy DeSoto and Ricky Wesley leapt from the squad and hastily crawled into turnout gear and SCBA. Before the pair dashed away from the squad, Roy snatched his handi-talkie from the vehicle, slipping it into his turnout pocket. Gesturing for Ricky to follow, Roy led the way to the main entry of the edifice.

Heavy black smoke rolled in great clouds from the upper windows of the office building. Tendrils of flame danced through openings on the third floor, slithering unabated upward. Hissing and popping noises echoed around the advancing rescue men while they breached the entry to the disintegrating structure.

Walking into the blazing building felt to Ricky like stepping into an oven. Intense solid waves of heat seemed to push him back as he attempted to penetrate the lair of the dragon. Even through his turnout coat the heat was stunning to the young fireman. He felt his heart rate quicken with excitement and fear. The hiss whoosh of his own breath in his SCBA echoed in his ears mixing with the shouts of fellow firefighters, the roar and splash of water and the crackling of flames creating an almost overwhelming cacophony of stimuli inside the novice rescue man.

Roy took his new partner in tow and pressed forward into the recesses of the involved structure. Instinctively the experienced fireman crouched to allow for better visibility through the thick smoke rolling throughout the building. Normally, Roy and Johnny would have split up, and made the search shorter. Glancing back over his shoulder Roy swiftly determined his new young partner likely needed to remain by his side. The man's large green eyes with slightly dilated pupils betrayed his emotional overwhelm to even the most casual observer.

Roy signaled to Ricky with his left hand to follow as the rescue men began to painstakingly search the first floor, room by room. As each room was investigated, the rescuers marked the doorway with a large florescent x, and continued on to the next area. In the fifth or sixth room the paramedics encountered two victims crouched unconscious in the corner. Roy turned to Ricky and signaled for him to pick up the guy on the right while Roy took the larger man on the left. After hoisting the men over their shoulders, the medics retraced their steps through the smoke in search of the exit.

Once outside, Roy reached into his pocket and retrieved his radio. After a brief call to the incident commander, Roy determined where a triage area had been established, and led Ricky with his victim toward the medics already attending to victims. After depositing their bourdons, the two rescue men returned to the structure and continued their search.

The first floor search complete, Roy and Ricky moved up the stairs to the second floor. As their steps took them higher, the heat around Roy and Ricky closed in more tightly. Visibility was almost nonexistent causing the men to remain close to the floor while searching first from around the outer walls in a pattern spiraling predictably and evenly into the center of each room. Several rooms into the second floor exploration Ricky literally stumbled over a victim. After discovering the thing he had tripped on was a person's body, Ricky carefully bent down, and easily hoisted the woman over his shoulder.

Leaving Ricky to stand momentarily alone with his victim, Roy quickly and efficiently completed the search of the room. Finding no one else, he hurriedly marked the door before the men retreated out of the space. Roy signaled to Ricky to leave with the victim, and moved onward himself to investigate the next room. After checking a couple more rooms Roy found yet one more office worker leaning against a wall unconscious in a corner. This victim was a woman, and Roy's initial appraisal of the woman indicated she was very pregnant. Hastily he slipped his SCBA mask off, and held it over her face. While she inhaled from the fresh air, Roy crouched on the floor next to her withdrawing his radio from his turnout pocket.

Pressing the send key on the handset Roy called for backup. "Squad 51 to engine 51, Cap I've got a pregnant female victim on the second floor, south east corner. I'll need assistance evacuating her." Roy called. "10-4 squad 51, I'll send Chet in with a stokes." Captain Stanley's hastily replied.

After what seemed like forever, Chet appeared through the smoke. Roy, who had been sharing his SCBA with the victim, was now beginning to cough heavily himself. The two veteran firemen made short work of loading the woman into the basket, and Roy gratefully replaced his SCBA on his face as they carried the woman downstairs in search of the exit.

When the two firefighters reached the bottom of the stairs they almost collided with Ricky, still carrying his victim. At first confused, Roy rapidly concluded his young partner must have become disoriented in the thickly smoke filled building. _"At least he had the good sense to stop and wait for someone to find him."_ Roy thought wryly while grabbing the younger man's turn out coat and pulling him along with the group as Chet led the way through the smoke filled hallway. The appearance of the open doorway through the rolling smoke was an enormously welcome site to Roy's oxygen deprived brain. Gratefully the men trooped out of the building toward the triage area where they deposited their victims.

After turning these two victims over to the attending medics in triage, Roy and Ricky quickly dashed back through the now heavily smoking front entry. Hastily the pair traversed the stairs leading to the second floor continuing the search where they had left off. They had almost completed their investigation of the second floor's unmarked rooms when Roy began to notice small tongues of flame beginning to dart from the ceiling above where they were searching. Turning to Ricky, Roy pointed upward yelling into his facemask "Let's move it. Ceiling's about to go."

The two men quickened their pace. Reaching the final uninvestigated room and finding it empty, the pair began to carefully traverse the steps up into the smoke filled recesses of an intensely hot third floor. Reaching their goal, the fireman could see the heavy involvement of this level of the structure. Flames slithered and danced up the walls around them as the beast greedily licked at the wallpaper of the room. Searing heat would make any search extremely short-lived.

Roy signaled to his partner, and the pair headed down a long corridor. Fortunately the third floor seemed to only hold four equal sized spacious conference rooms. The first three rooms were heavily involved with flames, but a search of them was possible. When the firemen reached the final room they discovered an almost solid wall of flame covering most of the walls, furniture and carpeting. Roy turned to his partner signaling they needed to retreat. If there had been anyone alive in this room, the greedy fire, caustic smoke and blistering heat would have gotten them by now. The cause was lost here.

Retreating into the actively burning hallway now, Roy and Ricky headed for the second stairwell the building offered. They would take this additional path of egress down to the first floor in order to make certain the entire building had been cleared. Opening the stairwell doorway after checking for heat, the medics were met by billowing clouds of thick black smoke. The men crouched very low, and began to descent the steps by cautiously feeling with booted feet in order to find each invisible stair. Reaching the second landing, the two firemen quite literally nearly took a header down the next level of stairs after tripping over two men who lay on the floor.

Hastily, Roy knelt on the floor searching for a pulse from the victim at his feet. Two fingers carefully placed on the man's carotid artery rewarded the medic with a rapid faint flutter under his fingertips. Quickly Roy slipped off his own face mask and held it to the unconscious victim's face. Beside him Roy could see his young partner follow his lead. Miraculously both victims were alive. After allowing the men a few quick breathes of clean air, both now coughing rescue men replaced their own air masks, and hoisted the two victims over strong shoulders.

The trip down to the first floor was arduous, with the popping and moaning of the building's destruction acting as a constant reminder of the peril surrounding the men. Previously inhaled smoke itched and tickled the rescuers lungs while they carefully and swiftly descended the steps with their precious human bourdons. Each step grew progressively more difficult for the medics. The intense heat was oppressive, and both men's bodies were drenched in sweat underneath heavy turnouts and equipment. Stinging rivers of salty liquid found their way into eyes already burning from smoke exposure. By the time the men reached the landing for the bottom floor, heat and exertion were exacting a heavy toll. Trudging deliberately on legs somehow turned from solid support to wobbly rubber, Roy and Ricky pressed on with the realization stopping for rest in the inferno was not an option.

At the foot of the stairs two men from station 116 were manning a hose. Spotting the rescue men and their victims, the two linemen quickly squelched their hose, and grabbed the victims from the obviously flagging paramedics. Leading the way, the linemen now bearing human cargo rapidly moved toward the exit. Roy and Ricky stumbled out behind their brothers, grateful at last to be out of the scorching heat and smoke.

Almost as one, the two medics removed helmets and facemasks allowing themselves a moment to breathe fresh air. Both paramedics were coughing almost uncontrollably for a few brief seconds as their bodies tried to rid themselves of the inadvertently inhaled smoke. When Roy had somehow managed to stop coughing for a few seconds, he retrieved the radio from his pocket and hoarsely reported to the Battalion Chief the building was now clear. Replacing the radio in his pocket, Roy reached out a hand and firmly grasped Ricky's shoulder.

"Come on partner" Roy said through strangled coughs while he began to walk steering the other man and himself toward the triage area.

The medics taking care of the fire victims had efficiently cared for everyone previously retrieved from the building. Two of the men now had taken over care of the two men Ricky and Roy had recently found. When Roy and Ricky stepped over to the triage area, Terry Smith, one of the medics from station 36 looked up from the area clean up he'd been conducting to visually assess the approaching firemen.

"Hey Roy." Terry offered as he turned to squad 36's back compartment.

Roy grinned at Terry while uncontrollable coughing kept him from offering an immediate response. Unbuckling his SCBA, Roy let it slide to the ground. After unhooking his turnout coat, Roy removed it too allowing it to fall around his feet. With one swift movement, Roy followed his gear's downward journey, and sank wearily to his knees.

Standing beside Roy, Ricky remained stoically with gear and turnout coat in place, coughing uncontrollably all the while. His overheated body had past the point where rational thought was possible.

Terry turned from the squad compartment bearing a green oxygen case. Settling the case on the ground beside Roy, Terry quickly set up a non-re-breather mask and handed it off to Roy who gratefully accepted it placing it over his own face. Roy and Terry exchanged a look, with Roy jerking his head in Ricky's direction.

Terry grinned. "Yeah, I'll get him." He replied as he stood.

Terry reached out and began to unbuckle Ricky's SCBA. The coughing man seemed to return to the present moment with Terry's touch.

"Hey!" Ricky coughed out, batting Terry's hand away. "What are you doing?"

Terry only smiled and continued to relieve the young man of his equipment. Roy who was now sitting at Ricky's feet tugged on the younger medic's pant leg to get his attention. When Ricky looked down, he saw Roy's blue eyes peering up at him from behind the oxygen mask. Briefly removing the mask Roy rasped, "Have a seat partner. We need a little O2 and a quick check."

Knowing Terry would tend to Ricky, Roy allowed Terry's partner Mike Slawinski to encourage Roy to lie down on the yellow tarp where he had been seated. After Mike had run Roy's vitals he smiled down into Roy's eyes remarking, "Um, Roy…Your BP is a little low there. Looks like 95/65. You dizzy, weak, or nauseous?"

Roy looked into Mike's hazel eyes and sighed heavily causing his own body to launch into yet another coughing fit. "A little dizzy and weak. Not nauseous though." Roy replied realizing full well he'd just won an IV and an all expenses paid ride to Rampart in the back of an ambulance.

Mike grinned down at his friend, the man who had trained him. "I'll talk to Rampart, but I'm betting I'm gonna get to stick you." He said, unable to stop the mischievous gleam in his eyes and the wicked grin his face assumed.

Roy rolled his eyes up at Mike. "Yeah, figured." Roy replied from behind the oxygen mask. "Make it a good one Mike, 'cause ya never know. Next time it might be my turn to return the favor."

After Mike's conversation with the hospital, an I.V. was ordered for Roy. Mike turned to his patient, I.V. in hand. With raised eyebrows he silently offered Roy a choice of sites.

Roy held up his left arm in answer. "Not AC, huh. Go for the forearm. I'm easy to stick." Roy concisely instructed.

Terry's patient was not nearly as cooperative. When Ricky realized the other man was attempting to help him remove his gear, the inexperienced fireman weakly attempted to assist, only slowing the process with his clumsy efforts. Finally, after the pair seemed to be involved in an interminable dance of futility, Terry took Ricky's chin in his hands and made eye contact. "Stop helping or I'll just cut your gear off. Got it." He firmly ordered.

Surprised green eyes met Terry's firm gaze. Ricky didn't speak, but allowed his hands to drop to his side. Quickly Terry removed the SCBA, and turnout coat. Placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder Terry firmly instructed "Sit, and then lie down right where you're standing." He ordered.

Not surprisingly Ricky too was suffering from heat exhaustion. Considering the men had made several trips into and out of the extremely hot building, in an effort lasting well over an hour, heat exhaustion would be a minimal penalty for their efforts. Both of 51's paramedics received I.V.'s and were settled in an ambulance ready for departure when Hank Stanley had a chance to venture over to the triage area.

Captain Stanley consulted with Terry Smith. "Hey Terry, I hear two of my men are headed to Rampart. How are they doin'?"

Terry continued folding up his biophone and drug box while answering the Captain. "Ah, they have some smoke inhalation and heat exhaustion. I'd bet Rampart will let em' cool off, finish their I.V., and send 'em back on duty."

"O.K., thanks." Stanley replied. Turning, he walked over to the ambulance.

"Hey Roy, how are ya doin'?" Cap called to his medic who was settled on the bench seat of the vehicle.

"Better Cap. Sorry." Roy's muffled voice could be heard from under the O2 mask. "Guess we should have let another team go back in the third time."

"No problem Roy, it happens." Cap soothed. "I'll send Marco in with the squad. Terry figures Rampart will treat you, and release you for duty in a couple of hours."

Roy sighed. "Yeah, probably will." Roy confirmed. "Thanks Cap."

Terry climbed into the ambulance, and Stanley closed the rear doors with the traditional all clear signal before the men were swept away to Rampart.


	21. Chapter 21

**Fragile**

**Chapter 21**

The ambulance ride to Rampart was relatively subdued. The intravenous fluids brought rapid relief of the dizziness for Roy, and the O2 worked its magic on the smoke inhalation. Ricky's coughing had generally abated as well, though the man was clearly uncomfortable with the current turn of events in his day. For his part, Terry Smith the attending paramedic efficiently monitored his two patients as they traveled.

Ricky had never ridden as a patient in an ambulance before. A very healthy person who wasn't prone to accidents, in fact Ricky had never seen the inside of the emergency room as a patient. Observing Ricky closely, Terry easily witnessed the younger man's apprehension. Placing a comforting hand on his patient, Terry softly inquired, "Is this your first time to play patient Ricky?"

Anxious green eyes turned to look at Terry. Ricky nodded affirmatively.

Terry smiled reassuringly. "Nothin' to it bud. Just relax and enjoy the ride." He soothed.

Roy couldn't help but witness the conversation. Turning his head so he could look down at Ricky on the gurney, Roy reached up and slipped the oxygen mask from his own face. "You've already made it through the toughest part of this trip…." Roy offered with a wink for Terry. Then gesturing with his free right hand toward Terry, Roy continued. "…letting this guy stick you. From here on, it'll be smooth sailing for this particular ride."

Terry and Roy's eyes met briefly then, and both exchanged knowing grins. With a look of mock indignation Terry protested. "Hey! I'm wounded here! That's the smoothest I.V. you'll ever get my friend!"

Next with one slick practiced motion Terry reached over and replaced Roy's oxygen mask gently chiding his colleague. "And you….keep this on, or I'm gonna begin to wonder which of 51's paramedics I have as a patient." Turning to address Ricky, in a voice clearly aimed at Roy, Terry continued, "I hear tell one of those guys over at 51's has been known to restrain a partner when he wouldn't stop messing with an O2 mask."

Roy grinned while raising his hands in surrender. "No need to be insulting Terry." Roy teasingly retorted from under the mask

The playful antics of the other two men helped Ricky relax some. Ricky reasoned to himself that these two experienced medics were obviously not concerned over the ambulance trip, and upcoming emergency room visit. Perhaps his anxiety was an overreaction to the situation. After taking a couple of long breaths, Ricky allowed himself to unwind and settle more comfortably into the cot's cushion. The fire had taken a toll on the young man. As he allowed himself to calm, he became aware of his own exhaustion.

Though Terry had busied himself with taking another set of vitals from his patients, he had covertly observed Ricky. Noting the younger man's less anxious demeanor, Terry turned to make eye contact with Roy. A silent nod of understanding was shared between Roy and Terry. Mission accomplished.

As predicted, the trip to Rampart turned out to be only a detour in Roy and Ricky's day. Both men were examined by a physician, given oral fluids, and made to rest and cool down while their I.V.s finished running. After a couple of hours, both paramedics were cautioned to stay hydrated, and not to overexert themselves for the rest of the day. Stern warnings received, both men were released for duty.

Marco met the two medics at the emergency entry with squad 51. Clean up at the fire had finally been completed only fifteen short minutes earlier, and Marco was thoroughly smoked and soot covered. When loading up to depart the hospital, Marco gladly slipped into the center seat of the vehicle allowing Roy to drive the trio back to the station. All three firemen were spent, and conversation was sparse while they traveled. Arriving back in quarters at last, Roy glanced down at his wristwatch to notice it was 11:45.

Turning to Marco, Roy questioned, "Who's cooking today?"

Marco smiled. "Mike, thank God. I think we're having sandwiches and tomatoes basil soup for lunch." He answered as he slid across the driver's seat to exit the truck.

Ricky felt drained. He wasn't sure he was hungry, but the air conditioning in the day room would feel good, and he followed the other two men inside.

Mike had showered first after the crew returned to the station, and when the squad arrived lunch was well underway. At about twelve fifteen, food was served. Everyone gathered around the table, soup was ladled and sandwiches were assembled.

Ricky reluctantly accepted a bowl of soup, but didn't immediately reach for sandwich fixings. He wasn't feeling particularly hungry at the moment. But hungry or not, the soup smelled too delicious to pass up. Dipping his spoon into the rich crimson viscous liquid, Ricky gingerly brought an experimental bite to his lips. When it entered his mouth, the thick warm soup coated his tongue allowing strong vibrant flavors of tangy tomatoes, garlic and basil to explode into his awareness. The comforting warmth as the creamy soup seeped down his throat was soothing to the firefighter's smoke ravaged esophagus. After a couple of bites, Ricky joined the others at the table in offering highest complements to the chef. Mike Stoker quietly acknowledged his coworkers praise with a shy smile.

The soup having wetted Ricky's appetite, he found himself gladly assembling a sandwich of salty pink ham, and white provolone cheese on deep brown crusty rolls. The sandwiches were a perfect complement to the soup, and all the men around the table eventually engaged in a game of dunk the sandwich in the soup. The flavors of cheese and salty ham surrounded by the fabulous soup as bread, meat and cheese met tomatoes was indescribably delectable, even if the site of red covering the pink and white of the sandwich innards might have been somewhat gory in appearance.

The noon time repast at station 51 went blissfully undisturbed, seemingly granted respite by the great fire gods. When all had sated hunger, men began to shower and clean away the smoke and soot of the morning's challenging rescue. As each man exited the shower, blissfully clean and cool each felt the instinct to rest. Heading the alluring call from tired bodies, in combination with abundant food, and a hard morning's labor; weary firemen were allowed to slip away and indulge in a quick afternoon nap. It was from this luxurious nap the station tones jerked Ricky and Roy forty five short minutes later as the squad was toned out for a man down call.

Arriving on scene, the paramedics of station 51 were greeted by a woman standing on the sidewalk frantically waving to them as they approached. The petite brunette lady was clad in a cream colored dress; or at least it had at one time been cream colored. Now the woman's dress was adorned with massive streaks of red.

"You get the equipment." Roy ordered as he brought the squad to an abrupt halt, and bailed out to dash to the distressed woman's side.

Ricky did as he was told. He quickly jumped from the squad, opened the compartment doors, and retrieved the biophone, drug box and trauma box.

Roy approached the blood soaked woman. "Ma'am, where are you injured." Roy began while visually inspecting her to gauge where all the blood had come from.

"No, No! I'm not hurt. It's my husband Richard." The woman frantically replied. "Please, hurry! He's bleeding everywhere!"

"Where is your husband Ma'am?" Roy calmly asked.

The woman quickly took off running for the garage. "He is in the garage! He was trying to sharpen a machete…..it slipped! He's cut his leg…BAD! Blood is spurting everywhere!" The frantic woman almost screamed.

"All right, calm down Ma'am." Roy soothed as he hastened his pace.

Ricky bearing the equipment quickly made up the distance he had lost while retrieving supplies; reaching Roy and the victim's wife just as they entered the garage. What he saw amazed and horrified the young medic. On the floor in a pool of blood lay a man of about thirty. The man's leg was covered in several thoroughly blood soaked towels. Streaks of blood from what Ricky presumed must have been arterial spurting were visible on the nearby wall and cabinetry. The olive skinned victim was an unhealthy pasty color, and obviously unconscious.

Turning at the sound of Ricky's steps, Roy reached back and relieved his young partner of the trauma box. Quickly Roy opened the box and retrieved a large tourniquet which he applied around the man's lag near the groin. While he worked Roy spoke to Ricky. "Get me several large trauma pads, some kerlix, and a roll of that wide self adhering elastic bandage.

Hastily Ricky found the requested items, handing them off to Roy as they were needed. After sufficiently tightening the tourniquet onto the man's leg, Roy hastily removed the blood soaked towels from the victim's wound. His examination revealed a clean laceration of about six inches in length slicing through skin, fat, muscle and blood vessels in the man's thigh. Roy first grabbed sterile trauma pads and pressed them over the wound. Next he wrapped the entire thigh in heavy kerlix, and then in constrictive elastic bandage.

While Roy was winding the final layer of bandage he spoke to Ricky. "Get me a set of vitals."

Ricky had efficiently acted as assistant while Roy examined and bandaged the injury. But, watching the procedure had taken a toll on the young medic. Looking over his partner's shoulder when Roy uncovered the wound, Ricky could easily appreciate the yellowish white fatty layers, and deep pink and red muscle bathed in viscous crimson liquid beneath golden brown skin. Ricky's treacherous mind wickedly compared the sight before his eyes to the lunch he had eaten only an hour earlier. The association his nimble thoughts created caused Ricky to feel queasy suddenly. Momentarily awash in his own personal misery, Ricky missed Roy's initial request for vitals.

Involved in stabilizing the injury, at first Roy didn't realize Ricky's dilemma. When the bandaging was complete it suddenly dawned on him Ricky wasn't taking vitals. Turning his head to glance at Ricky, Roy noticed the greenish hue the younger man's face had assumed. Without a word Roy snatched the drug box from the ground next to Ricky, and sat it down beside the victim.

Efficiently Roy opened the drug box and snatched out a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. Fitting the cuff around the injured man's arm, Roy slipped the earpieces of the stethoscope into his own ears. As he pumped up the cuff, Roy addressed his partner. "Ricky." Roy spoke softly yet with enough energy to get the younger medic's attention. "Call Rampart for me."

Roy's voice brought Ricky back to the present moment. With a quick shake of his head to clear the muck from his brain, Ricky grabbed the biophone and assembled it for transmission. By the time Ricky made contact with someone at Rampart, Roy had a set of vitals to relay.

Ricky carefully recorded the vitals as he relayed them, and then noted the dual wide open I.V.'s with Lactated Ringer's that were ordered. While Ricky relayed the vitals and hospital orders, Roy who already predicted the treatment hastily assembled the two I.V.'s. Roy handed one set-up to Ricky, and took the other for himself. The two medics then efficiently established intravenous routes for volume replacement in their victim.

The ambulance ordered by headquarters when the squad was originally dispatched arrived just before the medics had finished packaging their patient for transport. Ricky picked up the medical litter and carefully stowed it for later disposal while Roy closed up the equipment, and led the frightened wife to the front seat of the ambulance. Roy climbed into the back of the ambulance with the patient, and sent Ricky to drive the squad.

The remainder of the run was uneventful. The patient was delivered to Rampart stable, and the final prognosis was good. After washing up, and collecting supplies the two paramedics trooped out to the squad headed back to the station.

For a few minutes the pair traveled in silence. Finally Roy spoke. "You o.k.?"

Ricky sighed heavily. "Yeah…. Look, Roy, I want you to know I am not squeamish. The sight of blood doesn't usually bother me. I just….."

Roy smiled congenially, and hazarded a quick look at the man on the other side of the vehicle. "Well, you've certainly had two tough runs so far on your first day."

Ricky's shoulders slumped, and he bent to rest his head in his hands. After a few moments, and another heavy sigh he spoke again. "I guess. This day is just not turning out how I imagined." There was a long pause before Ricky continued to speak. "You know, I was really nervous when I found out I would be partnered with you." Ricky chanced a quick look at Roy's face then.

"I wanted everything to go just right. You and your partner have a great reputation. I wanted to impress you. I'm a good medic Roy, really I am." Ricky exclaimed helplessly. "Then getting turned around in the smoke at this morning's fire, ending up with heat exhaustion flat on my back in an ambulance…..now almost puking on a patient on my second run with you…." Ricky stopped speaking again covering his face with his hands. "This is not how today was supposed to go!"

A long silence followed. Roy knew the kid was green, but he'd seen flashes of promise in how the guy handled himself on these two very tough runs. He'd likely turn out to be a good medic.

Finally Roy spoke. "Look Ricky, sometimes out here, in the trenches…..it isn't about impressing anyone. Sometimes you do all you can to survive to fight another day. It's been a tough day for all of us so far. And….as I recall, I was flat on my back in the same ambulance that took you in to Rampart. It happens. Stop beating yourself up, and stop trying to impress. You're gonna do just fine. Relax."

Ricky dropped his hands into his lap. Shaking his head in disbelief he silently listened. _"He's just being nice. I'll probably never be asked to partner with him again."_ Ricky mused glumly.

Stealing another glance at Ricky, Roy could easily read the disbelief on the young medic's face. It was pretty obvious the events of the day were getting to Ricky, and Roy sincerely wanted to help the young medic learn to work through difficult times because today was likely not going to be the worst one he could potentially have in his career. After allowing as much silence as he dared, Roy finally spoke to his young partner again. "Give up on the idea you can control the events that come your way. We have enough to do to contain the disasters. Control is just a fantasy we feed ourselves so we don't have to face the notion we are simply helpless sometimes. Life happens. Deal with it as best you can, and move on."

The pair again rode on in silence until they reached the station. After backing the truck into the apparatus bay, Roy cut the engine and turned to face Ricky.

"Tell you what Ricky. How about for the rest of the day, you take lead on the rescues. I'll back you up, but you take the lead. I think you need a chance to really see you do know what you are doing. You just need experience to bolster your confidence." Roy suggested.

"I don't know Roy. My track record this morning isn't the greatest. Sure you want to do that?" Ricky questioned.

Roy opened his door and stepped out of the squad as he answered. "Absolutely!" The squad door was firmly swung closed, and Roy headed toward the kitchen leaving Ricky to silently watch him go and consider the potential the day offered.

The medics wouldn't have to wait long for their next run. Coffee had been poured, and both men were in the process of seating themselves at the kitchen table when tones sounded calling them to a maternity case. Slipping into the squad, the men rolled out with siren wailing and red lights flashing.

The squad arrived on scene in less than three minutes. Roy helped gather equipment, but as he'd promised, Roy nudged his temporary partner to take the lead. Their victim was in a grocery market. She'd been shopping when her water broke. This baby was her fourth child, and labor had gone almost unnoticed for the woman, dismissed as gas pains or minor cramping. When she'd suddenly felt the membrane rupture, and the resulting flood of liquid, the woman had made her way to the manager's office of the store and requested someone call an ambulance and her husband. The flustered manager had dialed the fire department figuring they'd know what to do.

Ricky stepped into the manager's office first, followed by Roy. The victim was calmly seated in an office chair. She smiled warmly at the two firemen and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Jasmine Wallace." After she'd spoken, the first recognizable, and strong contraction caught her, and with short shallow breath the experienced woman rode out the spasm.

Behind Ricky, Roy glanced at his wristwatch observing the current time, and measuring the length of the contraction. To Roy's relief, Ricky too glanced at his own watch while stepping over and laying a gentle hand on the woman's belly. In 45 seconds when the contraction had finished, Ricky spoke gently to Jasmine. "Hello Ma'am. I'm Ricky Wesley. I am a paramedic with the L.A. County Fire Department. Relax; we'll get you taken care of."

Ricky sat the drug box down, and began taking vital signs while chatting easily with the patient. After only a couple of minutes with the medics, Jasmine again began yet another contraction. Dutifully this was timed as well.

Roy had delivered enough babies to realize contractions so close together, and of extended length meant this baby was impatient to greet the world. Smiling to himself, Roy quickly dashed out to the squad for a couple of yellow blankets. When he returned, Roy spread a blanket on the floor, and helped Ricky assist the laboring woman to lie down.

Leaving Ricky to examine and comfort Jasmine, Roy made contact with Rampart. Roy assisted with treating the woman, but allowed Ricky to run the rescue. Careful observations indicated to the skilled paramedic trainer that Ricky, though at first seemingly tentative, was actually a very competent medic.

As they were needed, Roy handed Ricky cord clamps and scissors. Ricky completed the delivery and after clearing the child's airway was rewarded with a strong cry of protest from the small being. Wrapping the small bundle into a blanket, Ricky gently handed the baby boy to his proud mother. The baby had been delivered in short order with no complications.

The medics helped Jasmine through the last vestiges of delivery, carefully salvaging and packaging the placenta for transport with the new mother and child. When the ambulance arrived, Jasmine and her new son were carefully lifted onto the gurney. Ricky rode with the patients in the ambulance while Roy gathered up supplies, picked up waste at the scene, and followed in the squad to Rampart.

After arriving at Rampart, Roy resupplied the expended materials and stowed the drug and trauma boxes in the squad. When Ricky emerged from the treatment room bearing a bright smile, Roy was leaning against the wall at Dixie's desk. When the younger medic approached, both Dixie and Roy stopped talking, and smiled knowingly at one another.

Ricky stepped over and joined his partner at the nurse's station.

Dixie smiled warmly at the young medic. Pointing the pen she'd been holding at Ricky she remarked, "Well, you like the cat that ate the canary." And she smiled at the man.

Ricky positively beamed back at her. "Yeah. That was great! I've never delivered a baby before. I've assisted, you know, in training. But this was the first one I've gotten to do myself. What a great feeling. To hold new life in my hands as that little infant took his first breath." Ricky slowly shook his head in disbelief and awe of the miracle he'd just experienced. "That was the best thing to ever happen for me!"

Turning to face Roy, Ricky favored him with a brilliant white smile. "Thanks Roy. I know you didn't have to let me take the lead. Man! That was so awesome!" He exclaimed.

Roy chuckled fondly before answering. "I'm glad to have been a part of your initiation into the stork club." Slapping the younger man's back heartily Roy continued, "Now come on partner, let's get back to work."

Both men bid Dixie a fond farewell, and trotted out to the emergency room door to head back to the station.

The rest of the afternoon and evening was relatively slow. The squad was called out for two minor medical calls. One was a woman who had sprained an ankle by falling off her high heeled shoes. The other was a man who'd slammed his finger in his car door and needed help extricating himself. The second man could have been transported, but declined assuring the men he would drive himself to the hospital. After he signed a release, the medics had no choice but to allow him to go on his way.

As promised, Roy maintained a supportive role in each rescue while allowing Ricky to take the lead. The young medic had an easy communication style that lent itself well to working with people. Patients responded positively to him, and Ricky's confidence seemed to solidify with each successful run he handled under Roy's watchful eye.

After the crew enjoyed dinner together, a couple of quiet hours were occupied as the men sat together and enjoyed a movie on television. Captain Stanley even spent the evening with his crew because he found with the rather slow day the engine company had experienced, Hank was actually caught up on his paperwork.

Everyone turned in after the evening news. Sleep came easily to the two paramedics. It had been a long day for them, beginning with their time as patients at Rampart.

During the night, the engine company paid dearly for their easy day. There were four different calls for dumpster fires. Unfortunately, though the medics were allowed to remain behind for the trash fire calls, the jarring sounds of the tones and klaxon coupled with the sudden bath of illumination originating when lights were automatically clicked on for the alarms caused the night to pass fitfully for the two tired paramedics.

When morning wake up tones sounded, everyone grumpily greeted the morning. Dressing and preparing for shift change little conversation was exchanged. Coffee was drunk in grouchy silence until B shift began to arrive.

Before Ricky departed from station 51, he took a moment to speak with Roy. A hearty handshake and heartfelt thank you were offered by the young medic. He'd appreciated Roy's guidance through the shift, and expressed his hope he'd again have an opportunity to partner with Roy in the future.

Roy shook Ricky's hand smiling warmly. "You're gonna do all right Ricky. Who knows, with as often as that partner of mine ends up on the injured list, you just might get your wish. I'd be honored to work with you again." Roy genuinely intoned offering the younger man a friendly clap on the back as they said there farewells.

Roy bid his crewmates goodbye then, grabbed his duffle bag and headed for his little yellow sports car. As Roy walked, he wondered how his family's last 24 hours had gone, and whether his dear friend had remembered to honor the promise he had given Roy as Roy had prepared to leave for work the previous morning.

Sliding behind the wheel of his car, Roy started the ignition and carefully steered the small agile vehicle into morning traffic. It had been a long stressful shift. Roy was relieved to be going home, and hopeful Johnny would be released for duty on Wednesday. Ricky held promise as a young medic, but he was still a young medic. Roy would welcome having his trusted partner again at his side.


	22. Chapter 22

**Fragile**

**Chapter 22**

Roy turned into his own driveway with a sense of great relief. Slipping his car into the garage beside the new station wagon, Roy gratefully gathered up his duffle bag and climbed out of the car. Weary feet carried him into the house through the garage door. Once inside, his nose was greeted with the smell of breakfast.

Roy walked into the kitchen expecting to be met by JoAnne. Automatically he called to his wife the familiar "Hey honey, I'm home."

"Rough day at the station sweetheart?" Johnny teased walking over to Roy with a mug of coffee.

Roy accepted the aromatic cup of brew from Johnny's hand with a small smirk. "Oh, you are too funny Junior." Roy deadpanned before taking a sip of steaming liquid. "Where is my wife?"

Johnny bowed slightly saying, "Madam had breakfast in bed, and her meds. I'd imagine she's napping."

Roy's shoulders sagged perceptibly. "Oh, all right." He replied with a note of disappointment coloring his tone. "Is she all right?"

Johnny grinned at Roy while ushering his friend to sit at the kitchen table. "Oh yeah, she's fine. She was up and around some yesterday. I'm guessing she probably overdid it, even though someone…" and Johnny gestured toward himself, "….warned her she was supposed to be resting. I went upstairs yesterday afternoon to find her changing sheets."

Johnny walked over to the oven, and withdrew a breakfast plate of pancakes and bacon bringing it to the table to deposit in front of Roy. Walking back to the fridge for milk and juice, Johnny continued to speak. "I'm sorry Roy, I had to do it. I took her crutches away finally. But judging by how she seemed to feel this morning, I wasn't quick enough."

Roy could just imagine how this scene had played out. Chuckling heartily he looked up at Johnny. "So, now you're in the dog house with Jo huh?" Roy questioned.

Johnny deposited glasses of milk for Roy and himself onto the kitchen table, and went back to retrieve a glass of orange juice for Roy and coffee for Johnny. Once again relieving himself of his burdens Johnny took a seat with Roy who had begun to eat breakfast.

"Nah, this morning when I brought her breakfast in bed, and got Chris and Jennifer off to school, she forgave me." Johnny smugly answered.

Roy munched on some bacon, and looked up to meet Johnny's gaze. "And what about you, Junior?" Roy questioned.

Johnny's face took on a confused expression. "Huh? What da ya mean?" Johnny inquired.

Roy's lips pressed together in what some would define as his constipated look. "Johnny…." He began in a stern nagging tone.

Suddenly Johnny realized what Roy was getting at. Sighing impatiently he glared at Roy.

"Why aren't you napping having taken your meds with breakfast?" Roy persisted.

Standing from the table, Johnny went to the cabinet above the fridge and withdrew his medication bottles. "I was waitin' for you to get home." He crossly replied while opening and extracting pills from each bottle. "If I'd taken this stuff when I ate with Chris and Jennifer, I'd be asleep too, and we wouldn't have gotten a chance to visit."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Uh huh…" He intoned. "Well, I'm home now. You can take those."

Johnny stepped back over to the table and picked up the glass of milk he had poured for himself. "I had planned on it mother." He snapped toasting his friend with the milk. "That's what the milk was for." And Johnny tossed the pills into his mouth chasing them with milk. Sitting down at the table again Johnny continued, "Now, you'll have to talk fast before I'm asleep. How was your shift? Any good runs?"

Roy grinned at Johnny's protests over taking his meds realizing Johnny's dramatic display was purely for Roy's benefit. Swallowing a mouth full of pancake Roy reached for his own milk, and took a swig. Putting his fork and glass down Roy raised his hands in surrender. "All right, all right….I was just making sure you remembered." Roy defended.

When Roy raised his hands, Johnny's keen eyes caught site of the band-aid on the inside of Roy's left forearm. Quickly Johnny reached out and grabbed Roy's left hand and brought the arm down, palm up on the table. "What happened here?" Johnny asked pointing to the band-aid.

Roy withdrew the arm from Johnny's grasp with a sheepish grin, but didn't answer right away.

Johnny's brown eyes turned serious then. "Roy?" Johnny let silence fall between the men for a few seconds before he continued. "Ya know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that looks like an I.V. site. Is it?" He questioned, concern and suspicion evident in his tone.

Roy picked up his fork and continued to eat. Glancing back up at Johnny, Roy nodded affirmatively. After he'd chewed and swallowed the bite he'd taken, Roy finally spoke. "Uh, yeah. Spent a little too much time in a burning building yesterday morning. I ah…well…, me and my newbie temporary partner got a free ride to Rampart for heat exhaustion."

Johnny sat back away from the table for a moment carefully studying Roy. Finally he spoke. "And?... What did they say at Rampart?" He inquired, crossing his arms over his chest.

Roy sipped his coffee before he answered. "We were released for duty with, ya know….the traditional orders to take it easy and stay hydrated." And he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly before returning his attention to the plate in front of him.

Johnny's face took on a look akin to frustration. His lips formed a thin line as he shook his head slowly. "See, that's the kind a' thing that happens when I'm not there to look out for you."

Roy chuckled softly. "Yeah, I was sort a' thinkin the same thing myself Junior. If you'd have been there, we'd have gotten that search out of the way in probably half the time. But…you know how it is. New kid….not experienced. I couldn't very well leave him alone to wander around in a burning building, now could I?" Roy remarked before picking up his orange juice glass to thirstily drink.

Johnny was still shaking his head with displeasure when Roy finished the orange juice, and plunked the glass down on the table. Eyeing the empty glass, Johnny quickly rose from the table and went to the fridge where he retrieved the orange juice to refill Roy's glass. As he was replenishing the liquid in Roy's tumbler, Roy glanced up at Johnny. "Did I ask you to get me more juice?" Roy sassed, realizing exactly why Johnny had gotten the additional orange juice.

Johnny smiled sweetly down into his partner's gaze. "Nope. Drink it anyway." Johnny flatly ordered, turning on his heel to put the juice carton back in the fridge.

Roy grinned affectionately while Johnny's back was to him. When Johnny turned around to walk back to the table, Roy schooled his features into a look of mock annoyance. "Now who's being a mother hen?" He challenged.

"Well, I learned from a pro." Johnny replied gesturing with a quick jerk of his head to Roy. Johnny then reclaimed his seat at the table. With a wave of his hand toward Roy, Johnny continued, "Now drink up Pally."

After a long moment of silent eye contact, both men laughed warmly. Roy enjoyed his juice, Johnny his coffee while both reveled in the warm safety of their friendship.

Roy shared some of the highlights of the days runs with Johnny while the men finished their beverages. When breakfast was finished, dishes were cleared, and both men left the kitchen for morning naps. The remainder of the day was filled with much needed rest, eating and comfortable camaraderie.

At around four o'clock Chris and Jennifer came home from school and enjoyed time with Uncle Johnny. At a little past five, Roy and Johnny departed for that follow up visit Johnny was to have with Dr. Brackett. After seeing the good doctor, and much to Johnny's relief, being released to go on shift the following morning, Roy and Johnny returned to the DeSoto home where dinner awaited them. When everyone had finished dinner, it was decided Johnny would spend another night with the DeSoto family, and ride in to work the following morning with Roy.

* * *

><p>Wednesday morning roll call at L.A. County Fire Station 51 found the six man crew reunited at last. Captain Stanley dispensed with the morning formalities, and dismissed his men to attend to chores and firehouse beginning of shift rituals. Hank smiled to himself as he observed his two paramedics open the squad compartment doors and begin supply inventory and equipment check. It felt great to have everyone at home at last. Turning from the happy sight with a long contented sigh, Hank walked into his office to begin his early morning dip in the traditional sea of paperwork that was an inescapable part of being a fire department captain.<p>

* * *

><p>Veronica Fielder woke Wednesday morning as was her tradition at an early five thirty. She was to be on shift at Rampart by seven o'clock, and there would be morning report prior to the shift. After showering, and slipping into her crisp white uniform dress, Veronica took the time to prepare herself a steaming cup of black tea, two poached eggs and some wheat toast. Taking her breakfast plate and tea cup in hand, Veronica walked leisurely outside to sit on her third floor apartment balcony where she would be able to see the sunrise.<p>

It was a deliciously cool Southern California morning, and while Veronica contentedly ate, she watched as the deep purple of the morning sky began to lighten into at first subtle, then more radiant pinks and oranges. The sunrise was brilliantly beautiful, and when the blazing edges of the orange orb twinkled just above the edge of the horizon, Veronica smiled to herself while gathering up her cup and plate to take inside. She had no more time to dawdle. If she wanted to get to work on schedule, she'd need to leave in no more than ten minutes. Opening the balcony door, Veronica stepped into the apartment with a pleasant sigh. The secure routine of her morning ritual now nearly complete, she mentally began to anticipate her upcoming day, and a pleasant upcoming evening she would be spending dining with friends.

Veronica stopped at her kitchen sink to hastily wash the cup and plate she'd used. After settling the dishes in the drainer to drip dry, the nurse walked over to the refrigerator to grab the lunch and snack she'd packed the previous evening. With her lunch in hand, she picked up her purse and car keys before striding to the front door. Veronica opened the door, and stepped outside onto her front landing. Turning, she carefully locked the door before pulling it securely closed.

Veronica took the three paces toward the first flight of stairs leading down. As she was about to reach the first tread, Veronica's keys slipped from her hand and hurtled toward the crack between two step risers. Hastily the petite woman reached down in an attempt to catch the keys before they fell through the opening. As she bent, she lost her balance, and then she felt herself falling. Helpless hands grabbed for metal railings as the woman skidded downward. Struggling for balance she grabbed for a stair spindle, only succeeding in first smashing her right wrist into the metal, and then having that same wrist painfully twisted as she rapidly hurtled further down the steps. She heard the sickening crack of bone, and felt nauseating pain as her wrist was torque unnaturally. Still falling uncontrollably, one white shoed foot caught between two steps, momentarily stopping the fall until the momentum caught up to her, and she felt the ankle now wedged in between the steps give way to the forces of physics with another sickening and agonizing snap.

The nurse's fall had lasted only moments. But to the hapless women, it seemed to take forever for her body to stop falling. Agonizing pain replaced the serenity of morning, and she lay unmoving for a few moments. Glancing at her watch, she noticed it was six thirty in the morning. Veronica realized with a sinking heart the plans she'd made for her day were all for naught. The safety of her morning routine had given way to fate's cruel hand, and now she found herself in quite a dilemma.

Now all she could do was wait for someone to find her. Her apartment was one of two on the back side of her building. The woman who was her third floor neighbor worked the night shift as a dispatcher for a cab company, and wouldn't likely get home until at least seven thirty. The nearest neighbor on the second floor was a man who Veronica knew had left town for the week. She couldn't remember where he had said he was going, Virginia or Vermont, something like that.

Carefully Veronica tried to disengage her trapped foot from between the steps. The resulting pain caused her stomach to revolt with a wave of nausea that threatened to expel her breakfast. Beads of perspiration popped out on the nurse as she swallowed hard attempting to control the overwhelming urge to vomit. After her tummy had settled somewhat, Veronica had time to do a quick mental inventory of her body. She realized her right wrist was likely broken, and of course her left ankle. She hadn't hit her head which was some consolation. She could tell she likely had abrasions on both of her shins and knees.

With her left hand, Veronica carefully attempted to stabilize her wrist while she tried to at least right herself on the stairs. Moving was sheer torture, and she finally had to give up and remain uncomfortably sprawled on the steps as she'd fallen. Vaguely she mused that at least in this position; her head was lower than her legs which would help if or when she went into shock.

Time marched on ever so slowly for the injured nurse. The hands on her watch seemed to crawl slowly as she waited and listened hopefully for someone, anyone to appear. She lay miserably on the steps until almost eight thirty when she finally heard the approaching footsteps. Veronica called out as loudly as she could to the person whose steps she heard. In response to her cries, the pace of the climbing feet accelerated until to Veronica's relief she saw her blond haired, blue eyed neighbor Misty Haskins appear at the bottom of the third floor steps.

* * *

><p>Johnny and Roy sorted through supplies allowing pleasant conversation to ease them into the shift. Johnny, as was their tradition, counted the supplies while Roy made note of numbers and called off the next item to inventory.<p>

"Man! It feels good to be back." Johnny amiably offered. "I always enjoy staying at your place, but I have to admit it really isn't as much fun if I happen to be there because I've been off work for some injury." Then Johnny paused for a few seconds before turning to look at Roy with a small grin on his face. "Well, at least what I remember of the stays at your place when I'm injured anyway." He added with a hint of sarcasm.

Roy grinned at Johnny. "Yeah partner. I know." He offered. Roy was pretty sure Johnny was referring to his dislike for being injured and inactive. But Roy also guessed his partner was gently complaining about Roy's customary insistence Johnny had to follow physician's orders while recovering. The grin morphed into a smirk then, and Roy remarked, "Well, you might try not getting injured then. I mean, you don't make the world's best patient, so I'd think you'd want to avoid it."

Johnny who had returned to his sorting turned to glare at Roy with a look of indignation. "What are ya talkin' about Roy? I always try to keep from getting' injured. It's not like I ended up in that explosion on purpose!" He sputtered

Roy chuckled heartily to himself. Life was falling back into normal safe routines. Johnny was winding up for a rant.

Johnny had been studying his partner's face. "What's so funny?" He blustered.

Roy's twinkling blue eyes regarded Johnny. After he had stilled his amusement enough to speak Roy replied with a genuine smile, "I was just thinkin' how great it feels to have you back at work Junior!"

Johnny returned Roy's smile. "Yeah. Sure does." He agreed, and he let the rant slip away unexpressed.

The team of paramedics was just sliding the last of the equipment cases back into the side compartment of squad 51 when tones and klaxon sounded sending them out to a woman down call at a nearby apartment complex. Both medics hopped into their rescue truck hastily strapping on helmets before Roy steered the vehicle out of the station toward their first run for the shift.


	23. Chapter 23

**Authors Note: **Sorry for the delay in updating. I went to Los Angeles for the 51 In Quarters event. For those of you who didn't go, you truly missed something special.

To see the squad and newly restored engine parked on the apron of station 127 was an awesome thing. After the crowds thinned out a bit, I took a couple of pictures that I'll treasure always. It was like standing inside the opening scenes from the show.

I got to meet Randolph Mantooth Saturday. He is indeed a very nice guy. He and Mike Stoker signed autographs for over six hours without stopping for a lunch or restroom break.

Meeting Mike Stoker was unexpectedly wonderful. Though I have always enjoyed the idea Emergency employed Mike as an actor because he was in reality a firefighter who could drive the engine, I have always been more enamored with Mantooth and Tighe. But Mike Stoker is a true gentleman. He's a delightful conversationalist, and took the whole weekend to see and be seen.

Mike showed up at the L.A. County Fire Museum on Sunday, and I had an opportunity to have a nice visit with him. He made my day when he remarked to someone who had asked him how the other firefighters in the department reacted to him getting the Emergency gig by saying "well, you know….firefighters are just like old women. They like to sit around and gossip." I thought that was funny. He also said the guys he worked with were wonderful about the whole thing, trading shifts to accommodate the shooting schedule. Another favorite remark from Mike was that with shooting, and being on duty, he wore the uniform just about every day for seven years straight.

Another treat I got was meeting Richard Yokley. Mr. Yokley co-authored the "Emergency, Behind the Scenes" book. Mr. Yokley was hanging out at the museum Sunday, and I met him. But, as luck would have it, I had left my book back at the hotel. No worries, it seems we were all staying in the same place. My friend and I met Mr. Yokley for a beverage, and I got to pick his brain for a while.

For those of you who missed the event, I hope you'll go out and look on the web. People have posted some great pictures. I'll post mine to FB in a day or two. I've also seen some cool video on YouTube.

The day was crowded, but a wonderful success. The firefighters of station 127 WERE on duty as they hosted thousands of visitors in their station. Lines were long, and the temperature in the sun got pretty warm. Yet, in all the mayhem, I met only happy positive people. The actors who tirelessly signed autographs were just as pleasant six hours later when I finally got to meet them as they had been earlier when I had stood and photographed them at the start of the day. The museum workers, on duty and off duty firemen, and explorer teens decked out in their 1970's style light blue uniform shirts with navy slacks were helpful, friendly and seemed happy to be there.

Congratulations to the event chairperson Captain Joe Woyjeck of the L.A. County Fire Museum for organizing the event, and putting together such a fantastic team. The weekend was a true success with no detail left unattended. Outstanding!

I'm back at home now in Texas. We left sunny L.A. where the temperature at five o'clock p.m. was 72 degrees. When our plane landed at DFW, it was after midnight and a balmy 92 degrees. Ugh…. Thanks for patiently waiting for my update. They will come much quicker now because it's too darned hot outside to do anything. So, I'll hang out in the air conditioning and write. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Fragile<strong>

**Chapter 23**

Roy steered the squad to the curb in front of a three story red brick apartment building. A lovely buxom blond haired blue eyed woman waved to the firemen as the vehicle arrived on scene. Johnny leapt from the squad to greet the lady while Roy put the vehicle in park, and climbed out of the cab to begin retrieving equipment.

"It's Veronica, my neighbor" The excited Misty Haskins began reporting to Johnny as he approached her from the passenger's side of the rescue squad. "She fell down the stairs! I don't how long she's been laying there. I was supposed to get home earlier, but I stopped to run errands. She's usually gone for work by the time I get home. Imagine my surprise….." Misty nervously rambled before Johnny could put a soothing hand on her arm to stop her from continuing to speak.

Johnny reached out and put a reassuring hand on the blond haired woman's shoulder. "Ma'am, just relax. Take a nice slow breath for me." Johnny gently ordered, effectively silencing the surprised woman.

Misty stopped speaking and followed the directions given to her by the uniformed man whose deep brown eyes locked with her own blue ones and offered her a solid link back to the present moment. She could feel her own heart rate slow in response to her deeper slower respiration.

"That's it." Johnny soothed. "My name's John Gage. What's yours?"

"Misty….Misty Haskins." She replied.

"Well Misty, we're gonna take good care of your neighbor." Johnny continued to soothe while turning to help Roy extract equipment from the squad. "Can you tell me what happened to your neighbor? Was she sick? Did she pass out?"

"She lost her balance, and fell down the stairs. She says she has probably broken her wrist and ankle." Misty answered. "She's still lying on the stairs. Her shoe is caught between two steps." Continued Misty as she turned and began to walk toward the rear of the building in hopes the firefighters would hurry and follow her. They seemed so calm, as if they did this sort of thing every day. Misty wished they'd at least get excited enough to move things along.

"Please hurry guys. She can't be too comfortable, and I have no idea how long she's been lying there." Misty urged as she walked toward the building while glancing back at the paramedics.

Johnny grabbed the drug box, the splint box and biophone before turning to follow the blond. Roy seized a cervical collar and ran around to the rear of the squad to get the backboard before jogging after his partner.

Misty almost ran up the stairs with Johnny in tow. As they rounded the corner from the landing for the second floor, Johnny looked up the third flight of stairs to see their victim sprawled uncomfortably with her head resting on her left arm, her right wrist somewhat stabilized by the hand of her left arm. At first Johnny didn't recognize the woman. He only saw the side of her face, though he did immediately notice she wore a white uniform dress.

Quickly Johnny sprinted ahead of Misty up the steps. When he'd reached a place just below the victim, he settled the equipment he was carrying onto the step below him before turning to assess the injured woman.

"Hey there, I'm…." He began addressing the woman.

At the sound of the voice, Veronica Fielder opened her eyes and turned her face to look up into the paramedic's. Before he could finish she, with a somewhat surprised tone said "John Gage!"

When hazel eyes met brown, immediate recognition occurred for both people. Johnny smiled down at his former nurse, now turned patient. "Well hey there Ms. Fielder." He said with a genuinely warm smile. "Looks like your day didn't begin as planned this morning." He gently teased while beginning to palpate her legs for injury.

She huffed a pain laced partial laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, we'll get you taken care of. Just relax. I'm gonna check you over." Johnny remarked, even though he was already well into his assessment.

After ascertaining she indeed likely did have a broken right wrist and left ankle Johnny slipped his pen light out of his belt mounted equipment pouch and began to check Veronica's pupil reactions. As he worked Johnny talked. "Did you hit your head in the fall?"

She smiled ruefully. "No, it's probably the only thing I didn't hit though." She replied.

Roy reached the landing then and glanced up to see Johnny already working on their victim. "What have we got?" Roy questioned as he mounted the last few stairs.

Johnny smiled at Veronica before turning to answer Roy. "Probable fractured right wrist and left ankle. She may have some broken ribs, but I can't tell until we free her foot, and roll her."

Roy squatted over Veronica and looked down at her face. When he recognized her, Roy smiled warmly. "Well hello." He said. "Do you remember me Ms. Fielder? I'm Roy DeSoto."

Roy opened the drug box, and extracted a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff and began to take vital signs while he chatted with his patient.

She smiled; though it was evident her trauma and position had weakened her. "Yeah, I remember both of you. Never thought I'd meet you again like this though." She said before an involuntary moan of agony escaped her as Johnny carefully attempted to extricate her foot from between the steps.

"Well, you just take it easy. We'll get you out of this in no time. We'll have you on your way to Rampart before you know it." Roy soothed while noting vitals on a pad, and then setting up the biophone.

Johnny had gently freed Veronica's foot, and applied a vacuum splint. Next he carefully splinted her wrist while Roy called vital signs into the hospital. While Roy was receiving orders from the hospital, Johnny applied a cervical collar and positioned the backboard so the two medics could roll their patient on to it.

Enlisting the aid of Misty to hold Veronicda's head in line with her body, Roy and Johnny gently rolled Veronica onto the backboard before securing her with the straps. After she was secured to the board, the paramedics picked up the board and carried it to the second floor landing where they gently placed it to begin treating their injured victim.

For her part, Veronica was relieved when the agonizing part of splinting her broken limbs had been concluded. She'd have preferred to forgo the spinal precautions because the backboard was uncomfortable and the c-collar was constrictive; but as a nurse she realized she'd not be spared the procedure. When she was gently lifted and leveled by the medics carrying the board to the landing, Veronica sighed in relief to finally not be hanging almost upside down.

When the board was placed gently on the stair landing, Veronica found herself looking up into the deep brown eyes of John Gage. His friendly reassuring smile was comforting.

"How ya doin'?" He asked while smoothly picking up her left arm to apply a tourniquet.

"Better than I was." She replied. "I guess I'm a little shaky and dizzy from being upside down so long."

"Yeah, could be. I think we'll be able to take care of that." He soothed as he accepted the alcohol prep Roy handed him along with the I.V. needle. "How's the pain?"

Veronica couldn't help but grin at the irony of this particular man asking that particular question. Before she could comment or answer, she felt the quick sting of the I.V. needle entering her arm, and noted with relief and pleasure John Gage was adept with a needle.

"There." He remarked while taping the I.V. in place. "All done."

Veronica chuckled softly to herself. "God, I'm glad you know how to find a vain, and you're good with a needle." She gratefully commented.

His twinkling brown eyes met hers. "I've done it a few times, as have you I'd guess." He replied good naturedly. "So? How is the pain?" He again questioned.

Veronica would have shaken her head with the ironic humor Johnny's question inspired had it not been for the cervical collar. Instead she smiled up into his steady gaze allowing the silence to draw out."

Johnny saw the humor flash in those hazel eyes and matched her grin with one of his own. "Yeah, I know." He said, breifly ducking his head with a small blush coloring his cheeks.

"Ironic for _me_ to be asking _you_ that question. I hope you're better at answering it than I am." He observed as he accepted the hypodermic needle of morphine Roy handed him.

Veronica chuckled. "Hurts a lot John, bring on the morphine." She declared.

Johnny smoothly inserted the needle into the I.V. port. "All right, here goes." He advised as he slowly pushed the medication.

Veronica felt the medication slip into her arm trailing a gentle warm fire along its path. A deep inhaled breath followed by a sigh was her only reactions as she allowed the medication to dull the agony her broken limbs were causing.

Johnny smiled gently down into her eyes as he observed the medication's influence begin to relax her. "All right. Now we're gonna clean up some of these abrasions and get you to the hospital. You just lie there and relax." He soothed while he and Roy cleaned and dressed her wounds.

Veronica let herself begin to drift with the medication. She heard Johnny's remarks, and felt some of the stinging on her knees and shins. But with the drugs flowing through her, she found she just didn't care what was happening at the moment. To Johnny's suggestion she just relax, Veronica could only summon a wry comment. "Yeah…. Like I have a choice now huh." She mumbled while smiling sleepily up into brown eyes. As if from a distance she heard his deep warm chuckle in response to her statement.

The ambulance arrived and Veronica Fielder was loaded onto the gurney, and slipped into the back of the vehicle for the journey to Rampart. Johnny climbed into the truck with their patient, and Roy drove the squad to the hospital.

Veronica was too gorked to notice the trip down the stairs to the waiting gurney. She dozed while she was placed on the cot, and into the ambulance. Even the screaming of the sirens on the processional to Rampart didn't rouse the drowsing woman. At some point in the journey, Veronica was awakened by the jostling of the gurney on the ambulance floor as the large vehicle hastily rounded a corner. She opened hazel eyes to find herself peering into friendly brown orbs.

"Hey, how are ya doin'?" Johnny gently questioned while finishing up the blood pressure reading he'd been taking.

Lazily Veronica closed her eyes for a few seconds before reopening them to answer. "Mmmm….sleepy….. but still hurts."

Johnny smiled softly down at her. "Yeah, I know. I'm sure they'll give you more pain medication once we've reached Rampart. Hang in there. We've almost made it." He soothed.

Veronica giggled. The influence of the drugs, and the weirdness of this circumstance caused her to notice how hilarious her current situation was. "Ya know Johnny, of all the paramedics I could have gotten in L.A., what are the chances I'd end up being rescued by you?"

Johnny chuckled, and then paused with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, considering you were injured in our first call area on a day when I am working, pretty good actually." He teased knowing full well what she had been implying.

Veronica giggled again. "That's not what I meant." She said. "I mean, not even a week ago, you were looking up at me. And now….."

Johnny smiled. "…and now you are looking up at me. Funny how life works, isn't it?" He offered.

"Yeah, it is." She answered. "This certainly wasn't how I envisioned my day going."

A long silence stretched out between medic and patient then. The medication made Veronica's thoughts move slower it seemed. After an extended pause, she opened her eyes again to meet Johnny's. "Hmmm…sure hope you don't hold a grudge…"

Her words brought a puzzled look to his face. "Oh?" Johnny quarried.

Veronica giggled again. "Yeah… I can be an…assertive nurse."

Realization dawned then for Johnny and he grinned in response. Waving her off with a hand he said, "Well, I'm told I can be a difficult patient. Besides, I only remember you being a kind and caring nurse. So, I guess you don't need to worry about me holding a grudge, now do you?"

Veronica smiled warmly at Johnny then. "Oh, you are a nice man." She offered. "And, not a particularly difficult patient, though I'll grant it was nice to have Roy around for reinforcement when the need arose."

Johnny blushed a little before rolling his eyes. "Oh yeah, Roy's a good man to have around." He replied with only a hint of sarcasm. "Just be glad he's not riding in the ambulance with you." Johnny teased.

Veronica giggled again. "Oh, I don't know…." She began.

"Well I do!" Johnny offered. "The guy is relentless."

Veronica stared up into Johnny's eyes. She could see the humor present there, as well as irritation and affection.

"Some people need relentless. It helps them focus, or leave denial behind for reality." She bluntly stated. Morphine worked like truth serum sometimes. Veronica realized she'd likely have left the last remark out had she not been under the influence of the drug.

Johnny winced. "Ouch!" He responded. "Touché!"

Just then the ambulance stopped and began to back into the emergency bay of Rampart. Johnny glanced out the rear windows, and then back at his patient. "Looks like we're here. Saved by the bell….or hospital as this case might be."

Veronica blushed now. "Sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to be so blunt. It's the medication." She offered.

Johnny grinned as the ambulance stopped and he stood. "Don't worry about it." And he chuckled. "You're right, even if you are offering the information through a morphine haze."

The ambulance doors opened then, and Johnny looked down at his patient. "Now, let's get you inside, and see about getting you taken care of. I hope you end up with a nurse half as good, and….assertive as you are." He winked at her and smiled warmly as he carried her I.V. bag down the hall beside the gurney.

"Hmmm….I'm not sure whether to thank you, or swat you for that." She offered while the gurney was wheeled into exam room 2.

Johnny hung the I.V. bag on the pole and helped transfer Veronica's backboard to the exam table. "Oh, probably should be a bit of both." He remarked with a smirk.

"Yeah, that's sort of what I thought." Veronica grumbled softly.

Johnny patted her gently on the shoulder allowing his eyes to hold hers for a few seconds. "You take care. I'll come around and see how you are doing later."

"Thanks Johnny." Veronica said smiling while she watched him leave.


	24. Chapter 24

**Fragile**

**Chapter 24**

Leaving Veronica Fielder in the capable hands of Dr. Morton, Johnny strode out of the exam room to find Roy visiting with Dixie while acquiring fresh supplies. Walking up to the counter, Johnny greeted Dixie with a friendly smile. "Hey Dix, how's it goin'?"

Dixie smiled at the handsome paramedic before replying. "Good Johnny. Roy was just filling me in on your last run."

"Oh yeah." Johnny began, while stepping behind the desk to check for fresh coffee. Glancing up at Dixie with pot in hand, Johnny raised his eyebrows questioningly.

Dixie smiled again and nodded affirmatively. "Just made it. Get it while it's fresh." She confirmed.

Johnny graced her with a brilliant lopsided smile of pleasure while retrieving two cups and filling them. "You want some Dix?"

The pretty nurse nodded negatively. "Count me out. It's been a slow day, and I think I've drunk more than my share so far today." She remarked.

Johnny shrugged, and set the coffee pot down before picking up his cup to sip the fragrant steaming liquid. With a satisfied sigh, Johnny swallowed some coffee before turning to Roy offering his partner the second filled cup.

Roy stowed the last of the medical supplies in their drug box, and securely closed the lid before accepting the cup Johnny offered. Slurping the hot liquid, Roy too took a moment to relish the fresh coffee. After a couple more swallows, he turned to Johnny. "So I was tellin' Dix about our last rescue."

Johnny swallowed a mouthful of coffee, and turned to look at Dixie. "Oh yeah Dix. We got to rescue the nurse who spent two fun filled days with me in critical care." And he shook his head remembering his feelings of stunned disbelief. "I tell ya, life's just strange like that. Ya know?"

Dixie had a feeling she knew where Johnny was going with the conversation, but allowed him to continue by encouraging him to carry on with, "How do you mean Johnny?"

"Well, it wasn't even a full week ago I was her patient. And today, she's mine. Ya know how it is. We go along every day, doing our jobs. We rescue people from all sorts of situations, and usually end up bringin' 'em here. It's all part of the everyday plan. We march through our safe little routine, takin' care of people today, and just forget how easily things could change for us. Like Ms. Fielder in there. She came in to work last week, and well…took care of me. She had no reason to expect when she woke up this morning that today, I'd end up taking care of her." Johnny paused to drink his coffee.

Dixie smiled at the young medic. "This is how it goes Johnny. You know that." Dixie remarked.

Johnny nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah I do Dix. It's just that….well, sometimes I kinda forget is all. And I guess when I get smacked in the face with it by ending up rescuing someone I know… Well, it sorta brings home for me how fragile the safety we think we have is."

Roy smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Life is totally unpredictable. So today, I may be takin' care of you, and tomorrow I may need to be taken care of by you." He thoughtfully intoned. Then Roy shook his head and an involuntary shiver washed over him.

Dixie noticed Roy's reaction and nodded with understanding. "Yeah, it isn't much fun to think about when you put it like that, is it?" She questioned.

Roy grinned realizing he'd been observed in a very personal moment. Twinkling blue eyes met Dixie's and Roy said, "Yeah, pretty unsettling, especially when we are talking about me ending up having to be taken care of by Johnny here." And he waggled his eyebrows humorously.

Dixie giggled as Johnny who'd obviously been lost in thought seemed to catch the end of the conversation.

"Hey! Wait just a dog gonned minute! What are ya tryin' ta say there partner?" Johnny indignantly sputtered.

The diversion had been a success and Roy smiled victoriously at Dixie who returned his smile with one of humor mixed with understanding.

A look of innocence plastered across his face Roy then turned his gaze on Johnny. "Nothin' partner, I'm not tryin' to say anything." He said while obviously stifling his mirth.

Johnny splayed his fingers across his chest. "I'm hurt! Are you implying there would be somethin' wrong with the care you'd get at my hands?" He blustered.

Dixie and Roy shared a small giggle at Johnny's expense before Dixie gave in to the urge to zing Roy. Reaching out she placed a manicured hand comfortingly on Johnny's shoulder. "Oh take it easy Johnny. I think all your partner there is sayin' is, he's brought you in enough times where he has been walking beside the gurney….he might just be starting to realize the odds are not stacked in his favor at this point. Could be your friend might be wondering if his turn as patient might be coming soon." Finishing her remark, Dixie turned her glittering blue eyes to observe Roy's reaction.

Roy visibly winced. What Dixie was suggesting was not a comfortable thing to consider, and he knew for sure now she had been paying attention earlier in the conversation, and had no intention of letting Roy get by with his evasion.

Johnny turned to observe Roy then. Noting his partner's obvious discomfort, Johnny smiled with realization. "Hmmm…. Hadn't thought about it in that light before." Johnny considered out loud.

Roy looked directly at Dixie. Their eyes met meaningfully for an instant, and both saw the underlying seriousness in the other's expression. Roy raised his hands in surrender. "All right, maybe. It isn't something I like to think about. But….yes. I guess on some levels we, as firemen are always in danger when we are on duty." Then Roy smiled sweetly at Dixie before continuing. "But really, if you stop to think about it, no one can count on the next moment happening as predicted. It sort of makes you want to stop and enjoy each moment as if there may not be another."

Dixie had to admire Roy's intellect. She'd obviously touched on a conversation topic he would rather have avoided, but he'd managed to dance gracefully through while offering food for thought.

For a few moments, the trio of professionals stood in silence pondering life's fragility. Finally Roy broke up the conversation with, "Well, I'm sure the citizens of Los Angeles would prefer it if we got back to work."

Roy waved to Dixie while picking up the drug box. "See ya' Dix." He said, before turning to Johnny and gesturing with a slight jerk of his head. "Come on partner; let's get back to the barn."

Johnny sat his cup down on the desk and bid Dixie farewell as the medics strolled down the hall.

"Bye boys." Dixie called after them. "Be careful out there."

The duo of medics briskly walked out of Rampart. They efficiently stowed gear in the squad compartments, and climbed into the cab for the return trip to the station.

Roy gratefully slid behind the steering wheel, and slipped the key into the truck's ignition. A quick flick of his wrist brought the powerful vehicle's engine to life. Shifting the heavy duty work truck's transmission into drive, Roy deftly steered the bright red truck away from the hospital.

Johnny sat quietly on the passenger's side of the squad. He was considering the oddity their last run had presented. Veronica Fielder had been an authoritative, though caring and thorough nurse to him. Johnny could only shake his head in wonderment at the cruel twist of fate that had turned this strong woman from assertive nurse to patient in need of care. Yet, she'd seemed to accept the role reversal easily and with good humor. Johnny supposed really, when faced with such drastic shifts in reality, there would be little else one could do but accept the situation and allow it to carry you through the revolving door life and circumstance could often prove to be.

Somehow Johnny's musings offered him some measure of comfort. Settling himself into his seat, he allowed a moment to savor the solidity of his current situation while making room for the possibility of rapid and drastic change. Somehow everything felt right. Johnny sighed deeply and looked out the windshield of the squad taking time to enjoy the ride with a hint of the notion there might never be another like it.

Roy drove in thoughtful silence. Dixie had indeed struck a nerve with their conversation. No one enjoyed considering the limits of their control, or mortality. It wasn't that Roy evaded thinking about the "what if's." Roy liked to think what he really did was avoid getting in situations where the outcome would be less than favorable. But, as he reflected now, Roy silently had to concede there were situations in which he too would be at the mercy of fickle fate. Roy sighed heavily with his own conclusions. It was probably best in his line of work if he didn't spend too much time thinking about such things. It might make him tentative in emergent situations.

The truck radio returned both paramedics to the present reality with startling clarity as they, along with what sounded like a full first alarm assignment were summoned to a structure fire. Johnny quickly made a note of the address before snatching up the microphone to acknowledge the call. Roy flipped on the reds and siren, and turned the rescue squad in the direction of their call. Both men snatched up helmets, placing them on their heads and tightening chin straps as they traveled. Roy drove with precision and Johnny kept vigil over traffic until the squad arrived safely at a two story red brick home in an affluent part of their neighboring district.

Arriving on scene, squad 51 received a radio call from Captain Stanley in Engine 51. "Squad 51, we need you for search and rescue." His voice said from the radio.

"10-4 engine 51." Johnny confirmed.

Both medics hastily bailed out of the squad to put on turnouts and SCBA. In less than 30 seconds, the paramedics trotted over to their captain to receive orders.

"What have we got Cap?" Johnny said when he reached Stanley.

"Everyone is out of the house except for a seven year old boy. His name is Sam, and his mother says he ran back up to his room to get something. His room is on the second floor, in the rear of the home." Hank Stanley relayed, pointing to the west side of the home. "Make it quick guys. This place is fully involved. In and out, o.k.?"

"We got it Cap." Roy said.

Roy and Johnny jogged toward the heavily smoking house's front door. Chet and Marco moved in behind them with a protective stream of water to guard the exit route for the rescuers.

Smoke hung in thick black sheets extending from the ceiling to waist level in the foyer of the home. The medics bent low to gain some visibility while finding their way through the residence toward the staircase. Flames were not immediately noticeable to the advancing firemen, but they could feel the fire's presence by the intense waves of heat emanating from the walls. Tortured groans and loud cracks spoke of the structures looming demise. The devilish beast must be eating away inside the walls like a cancer. The blackened hollowed supports groaned agonizingly hinting at potential collapse from the spreading disease consuming the building from the inside out.

Johnny took the lead hastily glancing back at Roy. "Come on partner. We gotta move! This place is gonna go any second." He called before plunging forward into the rolling black smoke.

"Right behind ya." Roy confirmed while the two men rapidly dove into the search.

Finding the stairs, the medics caught their first glimpse at slithering tendrils of flame flicking out from crevices in the walls of the staircase. Smoldering timbers were beginning to succumb to fire that was licking greedily away at the passage from inside the sheetrock.

Behind Johnny and Roy, Chet and Marco too saw the dragon's tongue. Directing a protective stream of life giving water at the fire, the men fought back at the hungry beast to allow the rescuers to proceed up treacherous steps in search of the missing child.

The medics could hear the hissing protests of the advancing flames as water threatened the fire's tenuous invasion. Carefully and quickly the rescuers climbed the steps, fully aware their brothers might not be able to hold the line on this egress. The firemen directed their search toward the back left bedroom. Progressing down the hallway, they could now easily see the hungry fire chewing through walls as wicked flame crawled unabated ever upward. Into the back bedroom they dashed, feeling their way through smoke so thick they seemed to be wandering blindfolded through a massive canvas bag.

Johnny sank to his knees to feel the floor around him, and perhaps catch a glimpse through the lower concentration of smoke on this level. Roy followed his partner's lead, and the men combed the room carefully in search of the boy. After covering every possible inch of the area, the men had found no child.

Roy tugged on Johnny's turn out coat to get his partner's attention. Johnny turned and the two men made eye contact. The boy wasn't here, and they knew they'd have to move on. Hastily they moved back out the way they had come, into the hallway. Johnny led, and the two men crawled into what had to be a bathroom. Feeling around, the two found no child here either.

Behind them, the medics heard the building begin to die. Loud groans of protest came from ravaged beams. Hissing, popping and cracking grew in volume as the hungry beast sucked the life from the hapless structure it devoured. The floor on which the two firefighters crawled began to ever so slightly tremble. The shaking grew in intensity until a large groan of tormented splintering wood announced impending disaster. Johnny and Roy leapt to their feet and moved hastily in the direction of the staircase arriving in time to see the famished dragon swallow their escape route in a giant eruption of crawling brilliant orange and blue flame.

On the other side of the wall of fire the two rescue men saw Chet and Marco helplessly retreating. The reflection of the blaze in the linemen's facemasks occluded the medic's view of their friend's powerless expressions of defeat and horror.

Quickly Roy and Johnny turned, and disappeared back into the rolling black smoke. They'd need another way out. But first they had to find the child they had been sent in to retrieve.


	25. Chapter 25

**Fragile**

**Chapter 25**

Rapidly retreating from the collapsing stairwell, Johnny and Roy directed their search toward the other side of the hallway. The rooms in this part of the house did not seem to be as heavily involved as they had on the west side of the building. Crawling on hands and knees again, the rescue men began their careful though hasty investigation of a bedroom.

With sinking hearts the men were almost finished with their as yet unsuccessful exploration of the area when Johnny heard a faint sound. Putting a hand up to still and silence his partner, Johnny listened carefully. He heard the noise again. Crawling off to his right, Johnny headed for the weak echo with Roy in tow. As he neared the wall, Johnny reached out to feel a closet door. The distinct racket of someone coughing inside could now be heard.

Hastily Johnny ripped open the folding door to reveal a small dark haired boy huddled in the bottom corner of the small space. The child was coughing fitfully, obviously deeply involved in a serious case of smoke inhalation. Hastily, Johnny reached out and cradled the boy in his arms. Unhooking his turnout coat, Johnny snuggled the lad inside before fastening the protective jacket over the child.

The sounds of the inferno swallowing the house began to intensify in the background while the discovery of the boy was taking place. Distinctive low whooshing and growling could be heard as flames rushed up through the as yet uninfected walls of the room occupied by the two rescuers and the child. Roy tugged at Johnny's turnouts, and pointed toward the faint glow of a window. Johnny slipped off his mask offering little Sam precious fresh air while crawling toward the window.

Roy stood, and ripped now flaming drapes from the window. Searching around through the thick caustic smoke, Roy found a bedside lamp. With great force, he hurled the heavy lamp through the glass of the window. When the glass broke, Roy hastily ducked down below the window to avoid any possible rush of hot smoke and flame in search of new oxygen. After the brief rush of air and heat had abated somewhat, Roy stuck his head outside and yelled to the first firemen he saw.

Behind Roy, Johnny crawled toward the sound of Roy's voice bearing his precious cargo. By the time Johnny reached the window, fits of uncontrollable coughing were beginning to seize him, even though he was managing to take occasional breaths from his own SCBA. Johnny and Sam reached the window just as the top of an extension ladder appeared outside.

When the ladder was secured, Roy stepped out onto it and motioned for Johnny to lay Sam over Roy's shoulders. Before taking a single step, Roy cast a meaningful look into his partner's smoke filled eyes. "You all right to climb down?" He asked.

Coughing almost uncontrollably now, Johnny nodded affirmatively while re-situating his SCBA.

Roy nodded his understanding, and began to descend the ladder with Sam draped in a firemen's carry over his shoulders.

When Roy had gone far enough down the ladder, Johnny too crawled out of the window. With coughing racking his slim body, Johnny's progress down the steps was significantly slower than Roy's. But steadily, he finally made his way to the foot of the device where he was met by one of the linemen from station 127. With the lineman's help, Johnny staggered away from the house toward squad 51.

Roy reached the squad where he deposited the boy on the ground. Hastily Roy removed his own SCBA mask while opening the compartment door. Reaching inside Roy pulled out the small cart containing the suction unit and O2 tank, and the green case holding the squad's respirator. Setting the O2 tank down beside Sam, Roy made short work of fitting a non-re-breather mask over the boy's face and setting the dial for 10 litters. Next Roy reached inside the center compartment and withdrew the drug box and biophone.

Johnny staggered over to the squad just as Roy withdrew a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff from the drug box. Through eyes burning with smoke, Johnny pulled off his SCBA mask and reached for the biophone. Roy hastily put a restraining hand on his partner's.

Johnny looked up when Roy touched his hand, and his burning eyes beheld Roy's sharp blue gaze. Roy shook his head negatively. "I'll get this Junior." Roy said pointing toward the respirator he'd placed near the squad. "You go over there and get yourself started on O2, high flow."

Johnny gave Roy an annoyed glare, but was coughing far too much to protest. Shrugging his shoulders, Johnny shuffled over to the respirator and did as he'd been ordered. When he placed the mask over his face, he attempted to deeply inhale the sweet cool oxygen. His efforts were rewarded by a horrific fitful coughing jag causing him to drop the mask to his lap.

Roy glanced over at his partner just in time to see Johnny dissolve into a fit of coughing, dropping the mask from his face. Quickly Roy dug his radio from his coat pocket. "Engine 51, this is squad 51." He said into the handset while depressing the send button. "We got the child out, and we are set up over by the squad. Can you get me an ambulance? Also, we may have a Code I."

"10-4 squad 51, I'll request the ambulance." Captain Stanley acknowledged. A raised eyebrow silently acknowledged Roy's Code I information. Hank guessed Johnny must have had a problem inside the building.

"Cap, you got anyone you could spare over there. I could use another pair of hands." Roy continued while casting a look over at Johnny.

"Be right over. Battalion Chief has just arrived and I can spare me." Stanley replied. Hank Stanley understood Roy's request and knew it was possible Roy might need Hank's special skill in this situation.

Roy grinned then as he acknowledged his captain with a, "10-4 Cap. Thanks."

Tucking the radio into his pocket, Roy resumed his assessment of the child. Shortly, Captain Stanley appeared by the squad with Sam's mother in tow. The women ran to her child just as the boy began to regain consciousness.

"He'll be all right ma'am." Roy gently advised. "I'm gonna check with the hospital, and they'll probably want to take a look at him just to be on the safe side."

Sam's mother, with tears streaming down her cheeks silently nodded her agreement while she reached to touch her waking child. Roy called Rampart with vitals on the child.

Johnny hated smoke inhalation. The coughing was irritating. After the coughing fit subsided a bit, Johnny opened his stinging eyes to look around. What he ended up seeing were his captain's serious eyes as Stanley walked over and squatted down in front of John.

Stanley reached down and took the respirator mask from Johnny's slack hand. Placing the mask over his junior paramedic's face Stanley remarked, "I think you need to be using this John."

Johnny inhaled again deeply from the mask while his Captain depressed the button to release forced air. As before, the deep breathing resulted in more coughing. In the throes of his reaction, Johnny moved his face away to free himself from the mask. Stanley shook his head. "Nope, you need to keep it there John." Hank picked Johnny's hand up, and placed it on the mask. "Hold on to it while I help you get your gear off."

Johnny held the mask and nodded his agreement. Hank Stanley unbuckled Johnny's SCBA, and slipped it from the other man's shoulders. Setting the tank and mask aside, Hank slid Johnny's turnout coat off and spread it on the ground. Placing a hand on each of Johnny's shoulders, Hank encouraged the younger man to lie down on the coat.

Johnny struggled to remain sitting at first. Hank's eyes met his junior medics, whereupon Hank softly yet firmly ordered, "lie down."

Johnny attempted to rasp out an "I'm fine Cap…" but failed miserably as another siege racked his body. Reluctantly Johnny allowed himself to be steered to the ground. When he was horizontal, Stanley relieved his medic of the respirator mask. "I got this John. Take some deep breaths for me." Stanley gently ordered while depressing the button.

Roy completed his assessment and report for Sam, and left him to be comforted by his mother while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. Gathering the blood pressure cuff, and some saline for an eye wash, Roy made his way over to where Johnny lay on the ground. Kneeling next to his partner, Roy inquired of Hank, "How's he doin'?"

Hank smiled up at Roy replying, "Still coughing pretty heavily. Why don't you go ahead and look him over."

Johnny opened his eyes to see Roy kneeling over him. Placing a hand on the mask, he attempted to remove it to talk to his partner. Hank gently swatted the intruding hand. "No ya don't pal. Leave that alone. If you touch it again, latrine duty for the next three shifts."

Johnny's eyes widened and he moved his hand away from the mask as if it were suddenly hot. Roy couldn't help but smile at Johnny's dramatic flourish. wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Johnny's right arm, Roy half jokingly said, "Thanks Cap. Ya know, I should have thought of askin' you for help years ago. He's certainly easier to deal with this way."

Roy fitted the stethoscope into his ears and began the blood pressure reading while noting with amusement the look of protest in Johnny's eyes. After he'd finished taking Johnny's blood pressure, Roy gave Johnny's chest a good listen. When he was satisfied, Roy removed the stethoscope from his ears, and followed up by getting a pulse and respiration. For his part, Johnny's narrowed eyes distinctly reflected his obvious displeasure at the current situation.

Glancing up at Stanley, Roy said, "Let me get a look at his throat." Hank removed the mask, and Johnny opened his mouth to protest. "I'm fine…" he rasped out indignantly. "You guys are makin' a lot 'a fuss over nothin'."

Roy retrieved his pen light from his assessment kit, and clicked it on while poising it in front of Johnny's face. "Uh-huh" Roy said. "Open your mouth." Roy's words were not a request.

Johnny's eyes flashed fire, then slid up to briefly glance into his Captain's face. Hank raised a bushy eyebrow in answer. Johnny sighed heavily, launching himself into another coughing fit. When he'd finished, he meekly complied with Roy's demand, though the irritation in his eyes betrayed the seeming compliance of his actions.

When Roy was content, he replaced the mask on Johnny's face, and Cap reinforced it by resuming control of the respirator. Johnny listened helplessly while Roy contacted Rampart with vitals on their second victim. After Roy had finished talking to the hospital, he gently rinsed Johnny's eyes with saline while Stanley continued to administer O2.

A few minutes later, Johnny's coughing diminished. Roy put away all of their gear, and Hank handed off the O2 mask to Johnny with a stern warning he needed to stay put until Roy told him he could get up. Johnny nodded his acknowledgement as Stanley stood to return to helping with clean up and overhaul from the fire which by now was well under control.

The ambulance arrived, and though the young boy Sam needed to be transported to Rampart, the EMT's from Mayfair could manage fine without paramedic follow up. Roy helped load the child into the back of the ambulance before situating the mother in the front seat and allowing the ambulance to leave the scene.

Johnny sat up from where he'd been, and laid the respirator aside to begin to help gather equipment. Glaring defiantly at Roy, Johnny stood and began to pack the respirator. For the most part, Johnny's coughing from smoke inhalation had subsided.

Roy didn't miss Johnny's subtle mutiny. Shaking his head with a sly grin, Roy pretended not to notice. It didn't matter really if Johnny got up. He was obviously better, and Roy was planning to run by Rampart anyway. They needed supplies, and in Roy's opinion, his partner needed a visit with a physician.

While Johnny finished packing away the O2 tank and respirator, Roy took a moment to check in with Captain Stanley. After receiving the all clear to leave for Rampart, Roy joined his partner in the cab of the squad, and the duo of medics drove away from the scene.

Johnny sat sullenly in the cab of the truck. He vainly attempted to stifle the odd cough when they arose. Roy silently shook his head. After a few minutes of the silent treatment, Roy finally broke the hush. "You aren't fooling anyone over there Junior. You might as well cough, and get it out of your system. We're stopping by Rampart anyway for supplies, and Cap has already told me to insist you see a doctor before we return to the station."

Johnny sighed heavily, followed by a raspy cough. "You worry too much Roy. I just ate a little smoke." But given Roy's remark about Cap's order he'd see a doctor, Johnny realized his protests were wasted breath, and reluctantly settled into his seat. His chest did feel tight, and his throat sore. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to see someone. Breathing treatments were no real joy, but it would help clear his lungs. Sighing again, Johnny resigned himself to his fate and decided to change the subject.

Turning to Roy, Johnny asked about Sam. "So, how was the boy?"

Roy chanced a quick look at Johnny, and graced his partner with a gentle smile. "Oh, he regained consciousness pretty quickly. I didn't appreciate any burns in his esophagus or nasal passages. I think he'll be all right. Dr. Early wanted to have a look at him just to be on the safe side."

They drove a few more seconds before Roy continued. "Nice save there partner. It got kinda hairy in that building for a few minutes."

Johnny glanced back toward Roy, and smiled. "Yeah….I'll say. That structure was moaning and groaning like we were gonna go down with it. I'm sure glad we were able to find the kid and make an exit before things really got rough."

Roy nodded while turning the squad into the Rampart drive. "Yeah, me too. Man! It's been a rich full day, and it isn't even lunch time."

After backing the squad into the ambulance bay of the hospital, Roy turned off the ignition as he glanced over toward Johnny. "And…after taking care of your nurse, you are about to get a chance to be the patient again. Talk about a rapid role reversal. I hope the rest of our day doesn't continue along this track."

Johnny rolled his eyes in response to Roy's lame attempt at humor, or whatever it was. "Yeah well partner, don't be smug. Remember what Dixie said earlier. Something about the odds not being stacked in your favor. Not that I want anything to happen to you there pal…. But…well…"

Roy climbed out of the squad before casting his best friend a sharp glare. "Oh thanks a lot friend!"

Johnny too slid out of the squad. "Hey, I'm just sayin….things turn on a dime. Who knows what the rest of the day might bring."

The two men met at the rear of the squad as they entered the emergency room doors for the second time that morning. Earlier they'd both been with a patient. Now, one of them _was_ the patient. Chalk up one more for fickle fate.

Roy silently walked while mulling over the conversation from earlier in the morning. Mentally he made a note to proceed more carefully through his day. Perhaps caution and observation could tip those odds. If he paid close attention, surely he could somehow control fate.


	26. Chapter 26

**Authors Note:** It has been quite a while since I have updated. A bit of writers block I suppose. Thanks to TDT for your help and kind suggestion on how to work through this chapter. I hope you like my spin on your neat idea.

I will likely update again soon. I've been looking forward to the next chapter, and it's probably part of the reason why this one has been so difficult to write. Thanks to all you patient readers who have hung in there with me through the story, and endured the delay. Please enjoy!

**Fragile**

**Chapter 26**

Johnny though not exactly thrilled with the proceedings, good naturedly put up with the precautionary medical testing for damage due to smoke inhalation. With mother hen Roy hovering, really what choice did Johnny have? Following a breathing treatment, and about an hour spent with humidified oxygen, Johnny was released for duty provided Roy kept an eye on him for further complications,

Emancipation from the emergency room was followed by a short, uninterrupted ride back to station 51 where lunch awaited. It was Marco's day to prepare lunch, and the onion and cheese enchiladas were a tasty treat. Everyone settled in to wolfing down their food, leaving conversation until the meal was finished. Unfortunately, the last few morsels of goodness would have to remain un-eaten on Johnny and Roy's plates because the squad was called for a man down rescue before the medics could manage to clean their plates.

Sighing heavily, both men gulped last farewell drinks from their milk glasses before dashing to the squad. Captain Stanley acknowledged the call and handed the run slip to Roy through the squad window as Roy shifted the vehicle into gear. Roy passed the slip off to Johnny, and the two men rushed from the station with screaming siren and flashing red lights

Arriving on the scene for their call, Johnny and Roy found themselves at a nearby construction site. A security guard directed the squad through a gate in the chain link security fence toward a partially constructed steel framework for a building. At the base of one of the structural support columns they found a crowd of men surrounding a downed coworker.

Johnny gracefully disembarked from the rescue squad and hastily opened the side compartment to begin retrieving equipment. Roy slid the transmission into park and after turning the key to kill the engine, stepped out of the squad and approached the crowd of men.

"Excuse me, coming through." Roy said as he parted the small sea of people to access the victim. Looking around the group Roy asked "Can anyone tell me what happened here"

A heavy set man with brown hair and a red face answered Roy's inquiry. "Don't know mister. Sunny here was just walking and he sort of stopped, swayed a little then fell out. We haven't moved him. He's right where he fell."

Johnny pushed his way through the crowd as Roy knelt to begin examining their victim.

"What have we got?" Johnny said while lowering the drug box and biophone to the ground beside their victim.

Roy finished checking pupil responses while he answered. "His co-workers said he passed out."

Johnny and Roy made eye contact with one another. Both medics had noted the diaphoretic, red faced appearance of the victim, as well as the uncharacteristically humid and hot Southern California day. "You thinking maybe heat related?" Johnny surmised while opening the drug box to retrieve a thermometer, stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.

"Could be. It's worth checking." Roy said as he accepted the thermometer Johnny handed him. Johnny fitted the blood pressure cuff around the man's arm, and began to obtain a reading while Roy took Sunny's temperature, pulse and respiration. Johnny set up the biophone and made contact with Rampart while Roy reached over to snag the drug box. After contacting the hospital and relaying vitals, an I.V was ordered for their victim.

Roy had the I.V. ready to administer by the time Johnny had completed receiving the transmission and noting it on their MICU form for the case. After efficiently establishing the line, Roy taped everything in place, and adjusted the drip. Johnny spoke with the heavy set man who'd called the squad, and obtained pertinent information about the victim. Very shortly an ambulance arrived, and Sunny was carted off in the ambulance with Roy attending. Johnny cleared away the medical debris, and after informing the foreman where they would be taking Sunny, Johnny hopped into the squad and followed the ambulance to Rampart.

Inside the ambulance Roy began obtaining another set of vitals while the vehicle began the trek to Rampart. As he worked, Roy's mind drifted to the conversation he and Johnny had been having periodically about the uncertainties of life. Roy considered the case of the critical care nurse Veronica Fielder he and Johnny had rescued earlier that morning. The fluke that had caused such a strong, in control woman to become so suddenly in need of help seemed to be exactly that; a strange fluke. Roy supposed things of that sort could happen to anyone. And perhaps the woman had been careless, hadn't been watching her step.

Really as a paramedic, Roy had seen many circumstances that had occurred which might have been avoided with more careful attention. After all, though Roy had to admit to himself there were strange happenings only attributable to coincidence; many such events might have been avoided if the people involved had simply taken a little extra care in their actions.

Noting the vitals he'd just taken on to the MICU form, Roy shook his head in silent dismissal of the musings he had been enjoying because the ambulance was backing into the ambulance entrance for Rampart Emergency. Roy began preparing the patient for transfer from the ambulance to the hospital.

Reaching Rampart just behind the ambulance, Johnny hopped out to help unload their victim. After assisting in the unloading of the gurney, Johnny took the drug box and biophone from Roy, and stowed them in the squad's side compartment before entering the hospital. Rounding the corner into the Emergency department, Johnny found Roy at the nurse's desk.

"Hey Johnny." Dixie greeted the medic with a bright smile.

"Hey Dix." Johnny replied gracing her with a crooked grin as he sauntered up to the nurse's station. "How's our patient?"

Roy turned to address Johnny before Dixie answered. "He'll be fine. Doc says he has a little heat exhaustion."

Johnny nodded his acknowledgement of Roy's offered information. "Good deal." He replied congenially.

Dixie was continuing to study Johnny. "How are you doing Johnny?" She questioned.

Glancing back at Dixie, Johnny shrugged his shoulders. "I'm fine Dix. Don't worry though. Mother Roy'll keep an eye on me." He teased without looking over to see Roy's facial expression.

Roy rolled his eyes in response to Johnny's jibe, and only acknowledged him with a paternal pat on the head and a, "Got that right Junior. Someone has to."

Johnny ducked out of reach for Roy's patting hand, and snorted.

Observing the antics of her two favorite paramedics, Dixie giggled. Pointing her pen at Johnny in a warning gesture she chided "That's right Johnny. We have to look out for you."

Johnny ducked his head and blushed slightly under Dixie's scrutiny. "Ah geez guys!" He protested. "Ya don't have ta' take care of me. I'm a grown man and I am perfectly capable of taking…."

The Gage rant seemingly inevitable at this point was interrupted when the radio Johnny carried beeped calling for the medic's attention. Both men listened as they were dispatched to yet another man down call. Johnny quickly jotted the address on a slip of paper, and both men dashed from the hospital waving farewell to Dixie as they went.

Dixie called after them, "Be careful out there boys." There line of work could be dangerous and she found she was truly fond of the likable duo. With a slight shake of her head, and a knowing smirk decorating her lovely features, Dixie lowered her gaze to the chart she had been completing before Roy and Johnny's arrival at her desk. Roy and Johnny would take care of one another; she knew it as surely as she knew the sun would rise each morning. But, Dixie couldn't resist the urge to mother them, particularly Johnny. Men, especially altruistic men like Johnny and Roy somehow seemed to forget their own safety and health where caring for others was concerned. Assured her care taking and watchfulness were justified, Dixie cleared her mind then and returned to the work at hand.

Roy and Johnny arrived on scene for their man down call to discover the interpretation of the call could actually be taken literally. When the paramedics reached the designated address, they were met by a woman frantically waving them down from the sidewalk in front of a modest one story brick home. The yard of the home was filled with evidence of earth work. Piles of dirt were scattered here and there, and a deep though somewhat narrow trench led from the home out to the sidewalk.

The women who had flagged down the squad ran to the passenger side window even before Roy could get the vehicle to a complete stop.

"Oh, please hurry!" The woman begged breathlessly. "My husband was on the roof fixing the television antenna and he slipped. He rolled down the roof, then off…and he rolled right into the trench they have dug for installing new sewer pipes. I've called to him, but he doesn't answer. When he didn't answer, I called for you." She rambled rapidly.

Johnny cast a quick glance to Roy. Roy nodded and reached for the microphone to the radio. "L.A., this is squad 51. Please respond an engine and an ambulance to our location." Roy said into the radio hand set.

"10-4 squad 51." Responded the voice of Sam Lanier.

Roy replaced the radio microphone on its clip and hastily climbed from the squad. Quickly he moved over to the side of the dug out channel in order to get a fast look at their victim. With a hurried glance inside the five foot deep narrow ditch Roy saw a man in his late twenties lying partially on his right side. The man's right lower leg was bent at an unnatural angle, and the man appeared to be unconscious. After the quick initial inspection, Roy dashed back over to the squad to grab the drug box before returning to the trench where he gracefully lowered himself to the edge before easily sliding down to jump into the narrow cavern.

Johnny gently pushed the squad door open so the woman could step away from the door. While he moved he began to soothe the frightened lady. "Shhhh….it's gonna be all right ma'am. Calm down. We'll take good care of your husband."

The woman wrung her hands with anxiety though she took Johnny's door opening hint and stepped away from the truck to allow its occupant to step out. While she moved she continued to babble. "He's been down there almost ten minutes now. He's not answering. I don't know if he is still alive? He's all crumpled up down there. I looked over into the trench. His eyes are not open." Tears were now freely flowing down the frantic woman's face.

Johnny stepped from the squad and extended a comforting hand to the distraught woman's shoulder. The lady's hyper-aroused state concerned Johnny, and he realized she would need to be subdued to avoid complications from anxiety. In a soft voice he continued to console her. "O.K., we're here now. We'll get him out of there ma'am. Just take it easy." He offered though it was apparent his words were not being heard.

Even though Johnny was standing in very close proximity to the distressed woman, she had yet to make eye contact with him. Indeed, she seemed to be lost in her own obsessive whirlwind, and continued to babble as he spoke reassurances to her. Johnny squeezed her shoulder with his hand and shook her slightly. "Ma'am. Look at me please." He ordered while putting his face near enough to hers to make looking anywhere else impossible.

The firm hand shaking her shoulder caused the woman's frightened blue eyes to focus. A terrified gaze met intense brown eyes, and the woman finally stopped speaking.

"That's it." Johnny soothed. "What's your name ma'am?"

She sniffed tentatively before answering in a shaky voice. "Kim…um…Kimberly Danials."

"O.K. Kim. I'm Johnny Gage. What's your husband's name?" He gently inquired as he began to lead her toward the back bumper of the squad.

Allowing herself to be guided, Kim walked toward the rear of the little red truck. "um…my husband's name…? Uh…mmm…it's Mark." She said, speaking as if the words were being drawn from a far away location in her brain.

"All right ma'am." Johnny said softly. "We're gonna take care of Mark. Why don't you come on back here and sit down for me?" It wasn't a request. Johnny was steering the woman to the back bumper where he softly placed a hand on each of her shoulders and gently yet insistently pushed her down into a sitting position.

Squatting in front of Kim, Johnny maintained eye contact while he calmed her. As he spoke to the distraught victim's wife Johnny's keen ears picked up the sound of approaching sirens.

In the trench, Roy began his initial patient assessment of Mark. He could hear Johnny's soft voice attending to Mark's wife, and went about his work assured Johnny had the situation topside well in hand. Roy knew he'd need assistance when it came time to extricate the victim from the ditch, but the sound of sirens nearing the scene comforted Roy because he knew additional man power would arrive shortly.

Engine 51 arrived on scene to find Johnny with Kim at the rear of the squad, and Roy nowhere in sight. After checking in with Johnny, Captain Stanley began to deploy men in needed locations. Chet was sent to retrieve the backboard, cervical collar and splint from the squad. Marko and Mike pulled the roof ladder from the side of the engine, and took it over to the trench where they lowered it down to allow for easier access.

Chet reached the trench, and after handing off the items he carried, hastily climbed down the ladder into the pit to assist Roy. When Chet reached the bottom of the channel, Marco handed down the backboard and cervical collar while Mike trotted back over to the squad to retrieve the biophone.

After delegating tasks to his men, Hank Stanley moved over to stand with Johnny and Kim at the rear of the squad.

"John?" Captain Stanley softly questioned.

Johnny looked up at his Captain and offered a grateful grin. Turning back to the now calmer Kim Johnny said, "Kim, this is Captain Stanley. He's gonna stay with you for a few minutes while I go and check on your husband."

Kim, who had now somewhat regained her composure nodded mutely before Johnny stood to leave and quietly handed Kim off to Captain Stanley.

Inside the narrow ditch Roy fitted the cervical collar onto their victim. Mark's right leg was splinted and then Chet helped Roy gently roll the as yet unconscious Mark on to the backboard.

Johnny trotted over to the edge of the trench and called down to the men inside. "You guys need me down there?"

Roy looked up to his partner and replied, "No, I think we've about got it. Get on the horn to Rampart."

"O.K." Johnny replied while he squatted and reached for the biophone Mike pushed in his direction. "You got vitals for me?"

Roy called vitals up to Johnny, and they were duly noted on the pad of paper Johnny had slipped from his shirt pocket. Then Johnny contacted Rampart and began relaying information and taking treatment orders.

Mike and Marko moved into position on the edge of the trench as Roy and Chet hunkered down and grabbed the backboard in preparation to lift Mark out of the trench. Roy made eye contact with Chet and said, "Lift on three. One….two….three…." As both men began to lift the board and stand the loud sound of ripping fabric could be heard from the bottom of the ditch.

At first Roy didn't realize what he was hearing. Both firemen simply continued to lift the backboard until they were in a standing position. But at the sound, Roy made eye contact with Chet whose eyes suddenly became wide with instant realization, and some emotion akin to horror. After the two men reached a standing position, Roy cocked an inquisitive eyebrow toward Chet. Chet's face reddened slightly.

"You o.k. Chet?" Roy asked, genuinely concerned.

"Uh….yeah Roy. But I think my pants have become a casualty in the line of duty." Chet softly and sheepishly replied.

Roy briefly allowed himself to enjoy the humor in the current situation. Grinning broadly he said, "Ah….." And then Roy returned his attention to lifting the backboard carefully up for Mike and Marko to grab it and place it on the ground beside Johnny.

After Mark had been handed off, Roy closed the drug box and lifted it up for Marco to hand off to Johnny. Then Roy climbed the ladder to the surface, followed by a still as yet red faced Chet.

Johnny was already establishing the I.V. for Mark when Roy and Chet climbed from the hole. An ambulance had arrived on scene, and the two Mayfair attendants stood by waiting to load the victim onto the gurney.

When Chet crawled from the hole, he gingerly stepped from the top of the ladder, and bending his knees began to lift the ladder from the trench. Marco ran over to assist his pal, and cast a puzzled gaze at Chet.

"Amigo, are you all right. You're moving funny." Marco said as he bent to help pull the ladder up.

"I'm fine." Chet replied grumpily while still not bending over.

The two firemen exchanged an odd look, but Marko helped Chet carry the ladder over and re-mount it on the side of the engine.

Johnny and the EMT team from Mayfair placed the victim on the gurney, and Roy closed up the biophone and drug box.

Captain Stanley helped Kim get seated in the front of the ambulance. Johnny and one of the Mayfair guys climbed into the back of the ambulance, and Roy handed over the drug box and biophone before closing the back doors and giving them the standard all clear signal double tap.

As the ambulance was pulling away from the scene, Roy turned curious blue eyes in search of Chet. Spotting his target near big red, Roy strolled over to his shift mate.

"Are you all right there Chet?" Roy questioned. His facial expression was one of serious concern, but twinkling blue eyes betrayed him.

Chet rolled his eyes. _"Should 'a known he wasn't gonna keep his mouth shut."_ Chet thought grumpily. "I'm just dandy Roy." He answered somewhat defensively. "Shouldn't you be heading out for Rampart right about now?"

Roy grinned. "I'm about to leave. Just thought I'd take a second to come on over and make sure you didn't strain anything in that lift at the bottom of the trench."

By this point in the conversation Marco had joined the pair of firemen. He hadn't realized Chet's predicament, and was already concerned given Chet's apparent awkward movement when his friend had begun to retrieve the ladder. So, in his unaware state, and having only heard Roy's part of the conversation Marco chimed in with, "Yeah Chet. Did you hurt yourself at the bottom of that ditch? You were moving pretty stiffly when you got out of there. Maybe you should let Roy have a look at your back."

Chet with a reddening face glared at Roy who returned the scathing look with an innocent smile of his own.

Captain Stanley who had been walking toward the engine and noticed his three men conversing walked up to the men in time to hear Marco suggest Chet might need an exam from Roy. His paternal concern piqued, Stanley walked directly over to Chet and placed a hand on the mustached man's shoulder. When Chet's surprised blue eyes met his, Hank raised a questioning eyebrow before asking, "Did you get hurt lifting there Kelly?"

Chet's face which was already pretty red from embarrassment brightened a couple more shades as he exhaled a sigh of frustration. "No Cap. I'm fine. Really." He offered helplessly.

Looking into the Irishmen's eyes, Stanley could easily see the other man's discomfort, and mistook it for a macho man not wanting to admit to weakness or injury. "Ya know Kelly, it might be a good idea if you let Roy have a look at you." Stanley 'suggested.'

Chet looked helplessly from his Captains serious face to Roy's now broadly grinning face. "Honestly DeSoto! You're as bad as your partner. Can't you give a guy a break?" Chet sputtered in exasperation.

Roy chuckled softly. "I have no idea what you are talking about Chet. My question was offered out of genuine concern for your well being." Roy replied, his persona radiating pure innocence. "It is entirely possible fabric might not have been the only thing that was strained in that lift. You were lifting a pretty heavy guy at an awkward angle."

Marco and Captain Stanley observed Roy and Chet's conversation with growing confusion and curiosity. Finally, when he could stand it no longer Hank Stanley said, "Chester B. What's going on here? Do I need to send you to Rampart?"

Chet sighed heavily, and didn't bother to answer verbally. Instead he turned his back on his Captain and Marko, and lifted up the bottom of his turn out coat bending his body slightly at the waist. When the coat was lifted, and Chet bent over slightly, white boxers could easily be seen through the large seam that had ripped at the crotch of his navy blue uniform pants.

Cap and Marco stood for a couple of seconds with mouths agape before they burst out laughing. Roy joined in the chuckle at Chet's expense.

Stoker, who had climbed into the cab of the truck and started the engine heard the commotion. "What's going on out there guys?" He called from the driver's seat of the rig.

Still chuckling, Hank opened the passenger's door and called in to his engineer. "Kelly is just modeling his new summer uniform for us."

Mike's face reflected utter confusion. "Summer uniform?" He quarried.

Still chuckling, Captain Stanley began to climb in. "Kelly, before you climb aboard, give Stoker a peak at your new fashion statement."

Chet rolled his eyes at his Captain, and began walking around the front of the engine. When he reached a point just in front of the driver, Chet pulled up the tail of his turn out coat and mooned Stoker. Mike chuckled and lightly tapped the air horn. The loud sound caused Chet to jump and lower his coat in surprise. This of course caused Roy, Cap, Mike and Marko to laugh all that much more.

"Oh ha ha guys." Chet huffed as he climbed into his seat.

Roy jumped into the squad and headed off to meet Johnny at Rampart while Engine 51 began to roll away from the scene with three of the four men aboard her still enjoying the moment.

While driving toward Rampart Roy considered the details of the rescue he had just completed. Again he had witnessed the aftermath of a situation where a man had been injured while doing a seemingly mundane task. Roy knew that Mark and Kim had likely not planned a trip to Rampart Emergency as part of their day. Yet there was probably a fairly good chance they could have avoided this little event with some attention to detail. Roy wondered why Mark had not thought to secure himself with a safety line while on the roof. Perhaps such forethought would have kept him from being injured.

Suddenly Roy realized a blue station wagon had swerved into his lane. Quickly Roy's attention became riveted fully on his driving. Hastily he maneuvered the squad into the next lane, and narrowly avoided a collision.

With a racing heart, and hands griping the wheel so firmly knuckles were white, Roy realized he needed to be paying more attention to the road lest he too find himself on the receiving end of an unplanned trip to Rampart In the back of an ambulance.

Roy shook his head in wonderment. Johnny wasn't far off when he said life turned on a dime. One minute he, Roy had been driving along deep in thought. The next an impending accident nearly found him. Row again silently vowed to pay more attention to detail. Dixie and Johnny might have been correct. Perhaps the odds were not looking good for Roy.


	27. Chapter 27

**Fragile**

**Chapter 27**

By the time Roy arrived at Rampart, the ambulance had departed from the emergency entry. Roy hastily parked the squad and snatching up the portable radio, he quickly walked into the building in search of Johnny. He found his partner sipping a cup of coffee while leaning against the wall next to the nurse's station.

When Roy approached, Johnny turned to gaze his direction with a crooked grin. " 'bout time you got here. What took ya so long?"

Roy grinned at Johnny. "Oh, you have to ask Chet about his new summer uniform." Roy slyly remarked in answer to Johnny's quarry. "It took some convincing to get him to show it off, and that took a few extra seconds before I left the scene.

Johnny's eyebrows went up questioningly. "Oh? Do tell."

Still smirking Roy shook his head. "Nope. You'll have to ask him yourself."

Johnny shook his head, obviously puzzled. "O.K.?" He replied. "Guess you're just gonna leave me hangin' till we get back to the station then?"

Roy nodded mysteriously. "Yup." He confidently replied.

Dark eyes reflected mild irritation, and Johnny shrugged his shoulders before shifting his posture abruptly and changed the subject. "Hey partner, what do ya say we go check up on a friend?" Johnny suggested.

"Oh? Who?" Roy inquired casually finding a spot where he could lean on the nurses' station desk.

"Dixie gave me Mrs. Fielder's room number. I'd like to go check up on her." Johnny remarked swallowing the last swig of the coffee in the cup he'd been sipping.

Roy smiled at his partner giving him an affirmative nod. "Sounds like a great idea. Let's go."

Stowing their biophone and drug box behind the desk, Roy and Johnny headed off to visit with Veronica Fielder.

They emerged from the elevator on the fifth floor at Rampart. After a brief search, the two paramedics knocked at the door of room number 531.

From inside the room a female voice called for them to enter. Johnny pushed the door open and smiled brightly entering the hospital room of his former critical care nurse.

"Well hello there Ms. Fielder." Johnny said as he walked toward the woman in the bed.

Veronica was lying in bed with her right wrist in a cast propped up on a pillow, and her left ankle also casted and propped on pillows. She smiled at the two paramedics entering her room. "If it isn't John Gage and his faithful partner Roy Desoto." Veronica remarked in a friendly and somewhat relaxed voice.

Stepping up to the bedside Johnny replied, "How are ya doin? You look a lot better than the last time we saw you!"

Veronica who had received some pain medication a short forty-five minutes earlier giggled contentedly. "I'm feeling much better than when I saw you last." She happily replied.

Roy's observed the nurse's tranquil demeanor and glazed eyes, easily surmising she had been fairly well and recently medicated. Smiling warmly, stopping next to his partner Roy addressed the injured nurse. "Looks like they are doing a good job of pain management for you."

Veronica giggled again before offering an enthusiastic reply. "Oh yeah. Got the good stuff on board!"

Johnny offered a brilliant Gage grin. "Well I'm happy to see you are feeling better."

Veronica reached over with her left hand to take Johnny's fingers. "See." She offered. "Pain management can be a good thing. A lesson you'd do well to learn young man."

Johnny allowed the nurse to take his hand in hers, and listened while she spoke. Her uninhibited remarks caused a slight blush to creep up his neck into his tanned cheeks. Gently squeezing Veronica' s hand he chuckled. "Well Ms. Fielder, it certainly looks like I was taking lessons from the master." He teased.

Releasing Johnny's hand Veronica snorted and brushed his remark away with a gesture. "Why, yes you were." She boldly replied. "You're not my patient now. You can call me Veronica, John."

Johnny chuckled again. Yes, she was definitely enjoying the pain medication more than he had, Johnny mused. "So how long are they gonna keep you in this place?" He quarried.

Veronica shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Don't know. I guess a couple days." She replied. A wide yawn escaped her then, and she rubbed a sleepy eye with her uninjured hand.

"You look like you might be sleepy." Roy offered, ever the observant care taker. "We just dropped by to make sure you were doing o.k. We should probably be getting' back to the station. You might be wanting a snooze right about now anyway."

Yawning again Veronica smiled at the two men. "Yeah, think I'll take a little nap." She said. "I appreciate you boys stopping in."

Johnny leaned over and squeezed her good hand again. "We're gonna take off. If you need anything, let us know." He said.

Awkwardly Veronica reached for the control to lower her bed.

"Let me get that for you." Johnny offered. He reached over and readjusted the bed. "Better?"

Veronica snuggled into her pillows and yawned again. "Yeah thanks John." She said. Her eyes slipped closed.

Roy and Johnny turned, and softly exited the room. Veronica was asleep before they reached the door.

After leaving the room, Roy and Johnny headed for the elevator. While they waited for the door to open for the car, Johnny turned to Roy grinning. "Man! She was pretty wasted, wasn't she?" Johnny remarked.

Roy grinned. "Yeah, she was. But, unlike some people, she seemed to be pleased to have the pain meds on board."

Johnny didn't miss Roy's little mental nudge. He ducked his head, and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yeah, yeah….." He said dismissively.

Unwilling to let his partner off the hook so easily Roy continued, "Don't give me that partner. Ya know, you'd have a lot easier time with stuff like that if you'd just learn to accept the meds are gonna make you feel a little out of control, and go with it."

Johnny momentarily looked up to glare into Roy's blue eyes. Raising dark brows, Johnny replied, "A little? Roy…. That wasn't a little. And, all the stuff Brackett was giving me…..was really not a little. I can handle a little. But….."

The elevator arrived, and both men stepped inside.

Roy grinned in Johnny's direction. "Oh you can huh?" He taunted. "So, the oral meds you were taking; you'd consider those made you feel a little out of control wouldn't you? I mean, in comparison to the intravenous doses you had while in the hospital. Right?"

Johnny shifted his weight from foot to foot while impatiently looking up at the floor indicator on the elevator. _"Come on, come on….hurry up!"_ He silently pleaded with the elevator to arrive at their destination. _"This conversation has gone in a direction I'd rather avoid."_ He thought. Johnny offered no reply to Roy.

After they'd gone a couple of floors, in an extended silence; Roy interrupted, "Johnny?" Roy poked his now quiet partner with an elbow.

"I heard you." Johnny snapped, stepping further away from Roy to avoid another jab.

"Uh huh." Roy intoned. "Let me guess, cat's got your tongue now?"

Johnny turned and grinned at Roy before opening his mouth for a retort. "Meeeooww." He responded. Then, thankfully the elevator doors slid open into the bustling emergency ward corridor.

Roy chuckled good naturedly at Johnny's evasion. _"Oh Johnny. What are we gonna do with you?"_ Roy fondly thought as the two men walked through the hallway, stopping by the nurse's station to retrieve their gear before strolling out to squad 51.

The ride back to the station was pleasant enough. Johnny having efficiently wiggled out of the earlier conversation chatted amiably with Roy about the upcoming dinner menu, the weather and plans for the following day. For his part Roy enjoyed the comfortable chatter and let the earlier topic of conversation drop.

Roy supposed Johnny's struggles with control likely came from his partner's tumultuous past. Though Johnny rarely spoke of earlier years, the bits Roy had gathered from a few conversations led Roy to believe perhaps Johnny had needed any hint of control he could snag in order to deal with the challenges of living through his formative life. It was possible Johnny would always need help when it came to giving up control. Roy only wished his partner didn't seem to suffer so in the face of something as easy as allowing medication to work as it was intended. But then again, Roy theorized everyone had certain control issues.

When it came to pain medication or sedation, Roy felt he shared Veronica Fielder's approach. The drugs were intended to help the body and mind relax in order to let muscles release. When needed; the drugs were a welcome relief, in Roy's experience. _"Really, the whole fight is about control. Has to be."_ Roy mused. _"Wonder if I have control issues? Hmmmm. Well, I like to proceed through life carefully. But that's just a way to avoid mishap. It isn't really a control thing. Or is it?... Well, might be. Nah. I can accept life is unpredictable. ….well, mostly. If I pay close attention I can avoid things that might have happened by being careless. But…control issues….? I don't think I'm that controlling." _Roy's mind continued to circle while he drove along, and Johnny chatted.

"Roy?" Johnny's voice barged into Roy's thoughts. "Have you been listening to me at all?"

Jerked back to the present moment by his partner's voice, Roy allowed his mind to leave its topic of obsession. "Huh? Oh, sorry Junior. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, mostly about control issues, and how people react to them differently." Roy answered.

"Control issues? Where'd that one come from?" Johnny quarried. _"Well that came right out of left field! I was talking about his honey do list. Hmmf!"_ Johnny thought.

"Well, I was thinking about that nurse. You know, Veronica Fielder. How she seemed to be enjoying the pain meds, and how you really don't…."

"_Honestly Roy! Give me a break with that already. Stop trying to figure me out."_ These were the thoughts rushing through one dark shaggy head. Johnny flailed his hands at Roy as if to wave off a fighter jet about to land on an aircraft carrier. "No!" He groaned. "Let's not go there again!"

Roy chuckled. "All right Junior, I'll drop it." He conceded as he stopped in the middle of 223rd street to back the squad into the station apparatus bay.

The two paramedics climbed out of the squad, and joined their colleagues in the kitchen where dinner was nearly complete. They found Chet, Mike and Cap sitting at the table while Marko busily hovered near the stove in final dinner preparation.

Spying Chet, Johnny remembered Roy's earlier comment about Chet's summer uniform. Johnny poured a cup of coffee for himself, and sidled up to Chet. A wicked grin decorated Johnny's face. After sipping his coffee appreciatively, Johnny's brown eyes met Chet's baby blues. "So Chester…" He began.

Chet looked up from the book he'd been reading. "What Gage?" He responded somewhat gruffly.

"Oh... touchy!" Johnny commented with a hint of sarcasm. "What'sa matter Chet?

"Leave me alone Gage." Chet retorted. He'd had quite an afternoon of teasing thanks to his uniform snafu, and though he realized his pigeon was likely to give him some grief about it, he had no plans to make the teasing easy for Johnny.

Johnny looked to Mike, and Cap for help. "Geez, what's his problem?" He asked giving a quick head jerk toward Chet.

Mike's blue eyes sparkled with amusement. "Probably has brain freeze given the exposure he had today." He deadpanned.

Everyone except Chet and Johnny burst into uproarious laughter. Chet's face reddened and Johnny's took on a mystified look of confusion.

"Brain freeze?" Johnny innocently inquired. "What happened? He get doused in water or somethin'?"

Still laughing Marco responded. "No, more like he…um….showed off his assets."

Again four out of six men dissolved into helpless laughter. Chet's face brightened another shade.

Johnny looked to Mike again. "Someone want to share the joke with me?" He asked in helpless frustration.

"Let's just say Chester B. there had a slight uniform malfunction at the last rescue." Cap responded, and again guffawed along with the other men.

"Uniform malfunction?" Johnny questioned. Then he remembered Roy's remark about Chet's summer uniform. Suddenly Johnny's mind did the math with his shift mates' compiled remarks. Brown eyes widened, and a brilliant Gage smile appeared. "Don't tell me! Chet split his pants at the scene?"

By now the other men, except for Chet of course, were holding their sides in agony as tears ran from their eyes and helpless laughter pealed through the kitchen.

Holding his side and gasping for breath Roy nodded affirmatively. When he could finally speak he said, "Yup. Chet and his pants were 'a bursting on the scene."

Now Johnny joined in the laughter.

Chet hrumphed a bit more, and finally when the volume of the mirth had somewhat decreased said "All right, all right….yeah, ha ha. Too funny!" But he too couldn't miss the humor in the situation. In addition, his friends breaking up with laughter was a humorous site and Chet began to laugh a little as well. The hilarity was infectious, and Chet had to secretly admit, he'd have thought it was pretty funny if it had happened to someone else.

When everyone had finally settled down, thoughts drifted toward dinner. The remainder of the evening passed at station 51 without a single run for the engine or the squad. Dinner was enjoyed, a movie was viewed on television and everyone got a rare full night's sleep. The following morning when tones awakened, the men of station 51 greeted the day well rested.

After shift change Roy and Johnny left for Roy's house for breakfast and a little team work on JoAnne's honey do list. A day of household chores, punctuated by sandwiches and beverages was enjoyed by the two medics. JoAnne spent the day resting in a lounge on the back deck. As evening approached, she made her way inside to prepare the evening meal.

JoAnne was getting around pretty well on her crutches by now. In preparation for Johnny's visit, she'd pulled the frozen rolled stuffed flank steak out, and slipped it in to bake along with some bacon and cheese covered potatoes. A tossed salad and rolls completed an easy meal plan, and with some help getting the food to the table, JoAnne sat down with the family for a home cooked meal and some good fellowship.

After a sumptuous dinner, Johnny headed for home. JoAnne and Roy put the children to bed, and retreated up the stairs toward their bedroom to enjoy a little marital interlude.

* * *

><p>Saturday morning the men of L.A. County Fire Station 51 returned from two days off rested and refreshed. After dressing, everyone gathered in the kitchen for morning coffee. The A shift visited with the departing B shift. Doughnuts and coffee were enjoyed and the men of A shift divided up the morning paper settling in to read for a few minutes until roll call.<p>

Captain Stanley stepped into the doorway of the day room saying, "Roll call in five gentlemen." The words had barely left his mouth when the tones began to sing summoning the men to a structure fire.

Johnny took one last gulp of his coffee and sprinted out to the squad. Cap noted the address on the call slip before acknowledging the run and passing a copy off to Roy who was climbing into the driver's side of the squad. Mike dashed from the kitchen to the engine where he donned his turnout coat before climbing into the rig. Chet hit the door opener and then jogged to the engine while Marco ran around to his side and climbed aboard Big Red. The large bay door slid up. Squad 51 screamed out of the opening followed by Engine 51.

And just like that, the men of A shift jumped into their day. Days that began with what seemed to be a large fire prior to roll call had potential to reveal themselves as rich full experiences. This early call was not a good omen.


	28. Chapter 28

**Authors Note: **The beginning of the school year is usually intense. This year, I'm starting to wonder if I haven't somehow been transported into some sort of soap opera, so intense is the drama. Things are beginning to settle somewhat, and I've found the time and energy to again pick up my writing. Sorry it's taken me such a long time to post this chapter. I promise, I won't keep you waiting so long again.

**Fragile**

**Chapter 28**

A short eight minutes of screaming sirens and hectic driving later, the squad and engine arrived on the scene of a well involved three story brick structure. Thick black smoke rolled through the sky above the building. Bright tongues of flame darted from the roof and third story. Waves of solid heat emanated from the burning edifice.

Station 51 was not the first to arrive at the sight, and would thus be under the command of the captain from 36's; the first responders on scene. Orders were dispatched, and because there were no victims, all the firefighters from 51's were assigned to man hose on the exterior of the building. Men from two other stations were ordered to begin an interior assault on the blaze, and entered the front of the building armed with charged lines for the attack.

Roy and Johnny took a hose and began preparing to battle the fire on the north east corner. Roy led the way while Johnny stood close behind him for support and hose management. After the two men were in place, they signaled for Mike to charge the line. Both held on tight as the inch and a half hose pressurized. Opening the nozzle, Roy aimed a powerful stream of water at flames emanating from the third floor windows.

Seemingly impenetrable waves of heat rolled from the burning building slamming into the men as they fought to kill the beast. Orange and yellow tendrils of flame licked from crevices around the windows. Huge sheets of bright yellow, white and blue fire roared from the roof of the edifice. Sounds of distressed wood cracked through the air as if the structure were screaming out for mercy against the invading dragon. Random pops and crackles from the ravaged burning timbers mingled with the roaring of rushing water, and hissing of dying flame. The smell of acrid smoke hung heavily in the morning air, irritating the eyes and tickling the throats of the warriors while they struggled to contain the inferno.

Roy began to make sweeping circles with the hose in order to more efficiently spread water on the blaze. Flame and water met causing the air to fill with the fire's hissed protests at the assault on its life. Clouds of murky white steam created when wet met hot mixed with thick black smoke attempting to obscure the target. Every defense the hungry blaze could muster was thrust forward in an effort to devour the building on which the ravenous beast had set its sites. Relentlessly, the fireman valiantly battled onward.

Roy efficiently protected his area of attack with the line. Johnny stood close behind his partner using his right hand to support Roy's right shoulder; his body close to Roy's offering additional strength to help his partner control the massive thrust of water through the unwieldy hose. It was hard work, and the oven like heat baked the fireman while they worked. Sweat began to roll off both men, under heavy turnout gear dampened uniforms stuck to their bodies. Salty perspiration stung their eyes while they concentrated their efforts on their assigned task.

Marco and Chet were stationed near Roy and Johnny. Chet led the siege manning the nozzle. As Roy was doing, Chet's forced the water into smooth sweeping circular motions spreading it over the face of the building attempting to vanquish the fire from the hold it had taken on the structure. Marco, like Johnny anchored his partner's body with his own using his right arm to support Chet's against the force of the rushing liquid.

From above, truck 127 began an assault with a soaking curtain of water from their large mounted water cannon. Torrents of fluid now began to fall on the roof of the doomed building. Churning clouds of smoke and steam mixed, rising high in the heavens as if to call the world's attention to the fight being waged below.

Men were dispatched to ventilate the roof, and soon the sounds of axes tearing into wood rang through the morning air. Shouts and directions from valiant firefighters mixed with the combined roar of pumping engines, and the dying echoes of a rapidly dwindling fire's protests as the gasping dragon struggled now to survive.

The first alarm assignment of firefighters fought the good fight. Ever so slowly, the fire relented. Great slices of flame gave way to tentative tendrils. Boiling clouds of greasy dank black smoke eventually lightened to shades of gray and white. The men could see the battle was ending. Victory over the fire was within their grasp.

When only pathetic streams of smoke escaped the windows, the call went out for men to begin overhaul. Johnny and Roy were two of the firefighters assigned to enter the now blackened structure. They retrieved axes and pike poles, and headed inside where they would hunt down any last smoldering embers which might remain from the mighty blaze they had now successfully vanquished.

With the order to begin overhaul, the thrill of fighting the raging inferno gave way to determination and tenacity. Slowly, methodically men began to tear apart inside walls and ceilings. The task was arduous, and back breaking. But everyone knew the fire could not be declared defeated until any possible coals had been ferreted out and extinguished. For anything to be left behind and reignite would hand these brave men the most humbling of defeats. The dishonor of a re-ignited blaze would not be acceptable for it would mean the sneaky dragon had fooled the warriors, and L.A. County firefighters would not allow such a disgrace.

Johnny led the way through the charred interior of the smouldering building as the duo of men from station 51 made their way toward the upper most floor of the structure where hot spots might lurk. Carefully Johnny picked his way up the stairway with Roy following in his wake. Heavy boots scuffed up semi charred stairs with the paramedic's ascent to what remained of the third floor where they would meet up with two linemen from station 36. Deep ominous groans and creaks of protest were offered up from the partially burned planks of the stair treads when Roy and Johnny began to climb.

"Watch yourself partner." Roy advised Johnny while the younger medic nimbly proceded upward. "These stairs seem fairly unstable."

Pausing briefly Johnny looked tentatively around his feet. "Yeah, they do." He remarked before slowing his pace slightly.

Johnny was about six or seven stairs ahead of Roy when he reached the third floor. Stepping from the staircase he moved forward two, maybe three strides before he turned smiling to look back at Roy who was now only three steps from leaving the stairwell. Johnny opened his mouth to remark on the condition of the building when a sudden large groaning, cracking sound filled the air. Johnny's lightening fast reflexes caused him to immediately drop his pike pole and lunge back toward Roy as the staircase abruptly began to collapse and fall.

Roy realized what was happening and leapt for the landing. But the wood beneath his feet was falling, and his desperate lunge fell short. Johnny hurled himself toward Roy, finally falling to his belly before he miraculously caught the fingers of Roy's left hand just before Roy hurtled downward with the falling debris formerly known as stairs.

The two medic's fingers locked and with his other hand Roy grabbed for the third floor landing. But the stairs beneath Roy continued to collapse, and Roy's desperate grasp for the floorboards missed by centimeters causing his body to swing violently downward straining the already tenuous grip Johnny had on Roy's fingers. Desperately Johnny flung his other hand down in an attempt to seize Roy's free hand. But the distance between the two men was too great. There was no way Johnny could take hold of Roy's other hand.

Blue eyes and brown met briefly as both men realized Roy's fingers were slipping from Johnny's grip. Johnny reached out in one final desperate lunge attempting to snag Roy's free hand again.

"Grab my other hand." Johnny yelled frantically

Roy again swung his free hand upward, but the motion of the swing was the final straw for the failing lock his fingers had on Johnny's. His hand slipped free of Johnny's grasp and Roy felt himself falling.

"NO!" Johnny screamed as he yet again struggled to reach for his partner.

But it was too late now. Roy fell down toward the crumbled staircase which had settled in a heap some eight feet below him.

Roy felt himself plunge downward. As he fell, Roy struggled to look for something resembling a good place to land. Some eight feet below his original position, Roy's right foot connected with the slanted tread of a fallen step, and a searing pain accompanied by the harsh snapping sound of breaking bone accompanied the crashing sound of splintering wood as Roy unceremoniously landed atop the partially collapsed stairway. When his foot rolled underneath him, Roy grabbed with both hands for the fallen railing of the staircase. The momentum of Roy's body slamming into first the steps, and then the rail sent the unstable mess plummeting downward again.

When Roy and the doomed wreckage of the stairwell again came to rest, Roy's wrists screamed in agony as they were wrenched violently by the impact of another ten foot drop from the hold his hands had on the banister. Roy lost his grip on the falling handrail, and fell backward onto the pile of broken wood where another three foot fall ensued from the impact of his weight on the already unstable pile of rubble. His landing was brutal, and forced the air from his body in one gasping whoosh. Shrieking pain sliced through Roy accompanied once again by the agonizing snap of broken bone. And then breathing became far more difficult than it had been before.

His descent seemed to have stopped, and Roy lay unmoving atop the heap of charred lumber which had once been a staircase. Opening his eyes, he looked up some twenty feet to see Johnny helplessly staring down at him from the edge of the third floor. The collapse of the stairway had taken less than 45 seconds. It had all been so sudden, yet things had seemed to somehow move in slow motion. Now after the descent had ended, particles of dust and debris settled around Roy. Agonizing pain engulfed his body, and he was so short of breath he could not speak. Lying flat on his back atop the broken pile of wood, Roy could only stare up at Johnny.

Johnny watched in horror as Roy fell, scrambling the whole way down to find any position which would allow for some sort of serviceable landing. He saw the look of pain flash across Roy's face when Roy landed after his eight foot initial descent. The abrupt landing, and then additional falls seemed to last an eternity while Johnny watched helplessly from above.

Briefly Johnny gawked in disbelief at his own hand where only moments before he had clutched his partner's fingers. If he could have just held on for an instant longer he would have been able to grab Roy with his other hand and keep him from falling! If he could have grabbed Roy quicker and jerked him onto the third floor platform, If….. The guilt assaulted Johnny in giant tangible waves.

"Hang on Roy!" Johnny yelled. "We're gonna come down and get you. Just lay still partner. I'm coming."

Johnny fished his HT from his pocket and called Captain Stanley to report, and request assistance. Replacing the HT, Johnny could then only stand and wait for the cavalry to arrive. The waiting was the hardest part. He looked down upon Roy, and could only witness from a distance his partner's obvious pain. Johnny could see from his vantage point that Roy was having problems breathing too.

"Hang on man! Stay with me." Johnny called down. "Cap is sending in some help. We'll get you out of here soon. Just hang on."

Panting for each breath, assaulted by pain Roy was only barely aware of Johnny's words. The familiar voice seemed to come from a great distance. Roy gasped with greater and greater effort trying to draw breath. His chest heaved, and his body howled with slicing agony. Sound rushed in Roy's ears, and his vision began to gray around the edges. The world began to close in on him. The familiar voice kept calling to him, but from further and further away. Then the gray fog at the periphery of his vision overtook his mind and body. The blackness seeped in and began to smother Roy.


	29. Chapter 29

**Fragile**

**Chapter 29**

Help could not arrive fast enough for Johnny. Peering down at his fallen partner from his perch on the third floor, Johnny observed powerlessly as Roy lost consciousness. Johnny glanced around desperately seeking some means for climbing down to Roy. But there was no way he'd get to his partner from his current vantage point. Frustrated, Johnny paced impatiently as he waited.

After what seemed an eternity to Johnny, Chet and Marco having taken the snorkel truck express to the third floor appeared behind Johnny on the third floor landing. They had brought ropes and safety belts along with a stokes, backboard, cervical collar and paramedic gear. The trios of men from 51's were joined by three guys from 36's, and Johnny was lowered down to where Roy lay.

Marco followed Johnny down. Together the two men packaged Roy, and hauled his unconscious form up in the stokes to the third floor landing. After Johnny and Marco were pulled up, four of the men with Johnny supervising carried Roy to the waiting cherry picker of truck 127 where Johnny and Roy were lowered to the pavement below. When the basket arrived on the ground, two men from Mayfair were already on scene. Roy's stokes was swiftly removed from truck 127, and placed on a gurney before being whisked off to the waiting ambulance. Johnny grabbed the drug box and Biophone and jogged over intending to hop into the back of the ambulance with Roy.

Hank Stanley met Johnny at the rear of the ambulance. A large hand landed comfortingly on Johnny's shoulder, and big brown eyes glanced up to peer into the Captains concerned gaze.

"How's he doin'?" Stanley quarried glancing in Roy's direction.

"Looks like he has a simple tib/fib fracture just above the ankle, possible fractured wrists, at least two fractured ribs and a possible pneumothorax. Right now he's unconscious." Johnny reported glumly while he stuffed equipment into the floor of the ambulance.

Stanley nodded his understanding and reassuringly squeezed his fingers gently into Johnny's shoulder. "All right John. You better get going. Take good care of our man, and keep us posted on how he's doing. I'll send Chet over with the squad in a few minutes."

Guilt ridden and dejected brown eyes connected again with Stanley's solid gaze. "I'll do it Cap." Johnny softly replied; and he climbed into the ambulance.

Stanley nodded at Johnny before closing the ambulance doors. The self flagellation and perceived culpability were written clearly all over his youngest medic. From the slumping of those slender shoulders, to the somber brown eyes, Johnny wore his distress like a scarlet letter for all to see. Hank knew he'd need to sit Johnny down before this whole ordeal was over. The protective and close nature of Roy and Johnny's friendship often caused whichever one was left standing in an injury scenario to somehow blame himself for not being able to avoid the situation. In such a close knit relationship, by hook or by crook it seemed only natural for Johnny to feel responsible for his partner's injuries. But as Hank had learned, in this line of work a man could only do what he could do. Sometimes events were beyond anyone's control. As bad as it felt when a friend was injured, beating oneself up over the 'what ifs' could drag a man down into an unrealistic and unrecoverable funk. Hank vowed he wouldn't let it get that far with Johnny.

Silently resolving to watch out for Johnny, and with a solemn shake of his dark head, Hank gave the ambulance doors the all clear double tap, and then turned and walked away from the rapidly retreating ambulance. He would take care of this situation later. Right now Hank's first responsibility was to complete the task of clearing this fire scene.

* * *

><p>Inside the ambulance Johnny tended to Roy. After taking another set of vitals and checking the drip rate on the I.V. bag that was crazily swinging from the hook on the ceiling, Johnny sat silently staring at Roy. Roy's respirations were shallow and rapid. The oxygen flowing through the non-re-breather mask had seemed to help at first, but Johnny realized Roy needed to reach the hospital soon so this chest could be decompressed. Not for the first time, Johnny silently lamented the fact that though he as a paramedic had received training in needle decompression, by law L.A. paramedics were not yet authorized to practice the technique. Peering out the ambulance side window, Johnny willed the driver to move faster. If left too long, Roy's probable pneumothorax could be fatal!<p>

Johnny sighed heavily and reached out a gentle hand to check Roy's pulse. Solemn brown eyes regarded Roy. "Hang in there partner. We're almost there." Johnny softly murmured. He realized Roy probably couldn't hear him, but somehow talking to his partner brought some measure of comfort for Johnny anyway.

The ride to Rampart was a rough one. George, the Mayfair EMT who was driving today knew both of these paramedics. When loading the ambulance, Johnny Gage's concern for Roy's condition had been easily readable on the young medic's face. George realized by the younger medic's demeanor every second counted, and judiciously applied a fair amount of lead to his foot to spur the ambulance onward.

For his part, Johnny was vaguely aware this trip to Rampart was likely far more expeditious than many he'd taken. As the large rescue vehicle careened around corners at a break-neck speed, Johnny held onto to the overhead grab bar, and silently thanked George for his race car driver aspirations.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Johnny finally felt the ambulance stop, and back up to the emergency ambulance bay. Gratefully he closed up his equipment, and readied himself to hustle Roy from the vehicle into the waiting hands of the Rampart medical staff.

The back doors of the ambulance were hastily opened, and the two Mayfair men hurriedly slid Roy's stretcher from the vehicle. Johnny hopped down from the truck just behind the gurney, and everyone quickly moved into the building where they were met by Dixie and Dr. Brackett.

"In 3." Dixie ordered while taking up the rapid pace of the incoming group, and actually beating them to the door of the treatment room.

"How's he doing?" Kel Brackett inquired of Johnny while they walked alongside the cot as it was wheeled into exam 3.

"Respirations rapid and shallow and he is now slightly cyanotic." Johnny grimly reported.

Brackett gently reached up and squeezed Johnny's shoulder. "We'll take care of that right now." He said.

Brackett turned to Dixie and requested equipment for a needle chest decompression. Johnny and the Mayfair EMT's efficiently transferred Roy from the stokes, onto the exam table.

As soon as the backboard landed on the exam table, Dr. Brackett was ready to perform the procedure to improve Roy's respiration. With practiced efficiency Dixie exposed and swabbed the appropriate area, and Brackett performed the needle decompression. A sudden rush of air, and Roy's respiration began to even out and deepen.

With obvious relief, Johnny snatched his stethoscope from around his neck, fitted it into his ears and quickly began to obtain a blood pressure. There seemed to be an almost instant improvement in Roy's pressure, and Johnny happily relayed the numbers to the people around him. Johnny next obtained a respiration and pulse, and smiled with relief.

"That's more like it!" Johnny said.

Glancing down at Roy whose complexion was rapidly pinking up Johnny laid a gentle hand on Roy's arm and murmured, "Way to go partner. Hang in there. Doc's gonna fix you right up."

Brackett smiled warmly and nodded. "That I am." He replied, and turned to Betty, the nurse at his side, and began to order x-rays and lab work.

Dixie put a gentle yet firm hand on Johnny's shoulder, and smoothly led him toward the door of the exam room. "Let's you and me go get a cup of coffee, and let these people work." She kindly said.

Reluctant to leave Roy, Johnny opened his mouth to protest. But when brown eyes met sapphire, Johnny knew there would be no arguing with Dixie. Johnny gave a heavy defeated sigh, and once more looked longingly back toward Roy.

Dixie smiled warmly and began to guide him out of the room. "You know we'll take good care of him, and we'll keep you posted on his progress." She soothed.

Defeated, Johnny's shoulders slumped and he allowed Dixie to lead him from the room. When the pair exited exam three, they met up with the technician wheeling in the portable x-ray unit. Dixie walked Johnny over to the nurses' station, and poured him a cup of coffee. Johnny glumly leaned on the counter, obviously fretting.

Dixie handed Johnny the steaming mug, and placed a comforting hand on his arm. He accepted the mug, but didn't raise his head to look at Dixie.

Squeezing his arm, Dixie quietly questioned, "You all right Johnny?"

"I let him fall Dix. I let him fall." Johnny quietly confessed while allowing the steaming coffee cup to thud onto the counter. His anguish was apparent.

Sculpted brows rose questioningly. "Really?" Dixie inquired a note of blatant disbelief easily detectable in her voice.

Johnny raised his head to meet her gaze. Dixie's face clearly reflected her distrust in what he'd said.

Dixie crossed her arms over her chest and held Johnny's eyes captive with hers. Her lips turned down at the corners indicating her displeasure. "John Gage! I don't believe for an instant you intentionally let Roy fall."

The ferocity of Dixie's reaction brought the somewhat dazed Johnny back more solidly to the moment. "Uh….no…uh….I….." he stammered helplessly. "Th that's not what I meant." He blurted.

Dixie nodded with satisfaction. "All right then, why don't you tell me what you did mean." She calmly commanded.

Johnny stopped leaning on the counter and stood upright to meet her eyes. "Oh, well…uh…we had put the fire out in this three story building. We were climbing these stairs to do overhaul….ya know? Roy warned me the stairs were unstable, and they were…." He stopped speaking, lost in remembrance. Slender fingers nervously trailed through thick sable locks. His mind's eye unbidden replayed the scene. He saw the stairs beginning to fall, felt the remembered intensity of his own effort to grab Roy.

"Johnny?" Dixie's voice drew him from his own private hell.

His unfocused brown eyes seemed to return to her from far away then. "Oh, sorry…" He said with a slight shake of his head. "….anyway, I heard the sound of the stairs beginning to go just after I reached the landing….I turned and dove for Roy. I caught his fingers with mine….and…" He trailed off, the agony of his recollections clearly visible in his eyes.

"You caught his fingers?" Dixie said flatly. "Johnny, you tried…probably slowed his fall some when your fingers caught. But there was no way you could have held on to only his fingers. Sometimes things happen and despite our best efforts we can't change them."

Johnny was shaking his head now, as if to deny knowing what Dixie was saying. "…but Dix…I had him. …I let him fall…." He lamely protested.

Dixie's mouth formed a thin line of displeasure. "John Gage, you listen to me. You are NOT Superman. Roy slipping out of your grasp was not your fault! You stop this guilt trip right this instant." She chided in a firm no nonsense voice indicating she expected to be heard and obeyed.

Dixie's tone of voice caught Johnny's attention, and his mind began to focus on her message. Dixie was not someone a guy wanted to make angry. She was tough and smart. Maybe if she felt this strongly about what Johnny had told her, perhaps he needed to reconsider.

Johnny's mind tried to wrap itself around meaning drawn from Dixie's strong response. It really did. But treacherous thoughts strayed from Dixie's words and began whirling. Recriminations abounded inside his psyche. He thought: '_But I did let Roy fall. If I could have just held on to Roy long enough, Roy wouldn't have gotten hurt. One more second and I'd have been able to grab his other hand and…..'_

Shooting pain seared through Johnny's ribs. "Ouch!" He exclaimed as he realized Dixie had sharply elbowed him in the ribs. Stepping away from her in surprise, brown eyes looked down into sapphire and he exclaimed, "Hey! Why'd ya do that? That hurt!"

"You weren't listening to me, and I thought that perhaps if you really needed to beat yourself up you might be able to use a little help from me." Dixie offered deliberately.

Jarred back to the present moment, Johnny couldn't help but smile at Dixie's absolutely unrepentant facial expression. He sighed heavily, allowing his gaze to drop to his shoes. "All right, all right….I know you're right. It's just….."

"I am right." Dixie interrupted him. "Now stop obsessing over the 'what if's.' It'll make you crazy. Lord knows, we don't need you slipping closer to **that** edge. You already teeter on the precipice as it is." She remarked stepping away from him and taking her seat behind the counter.

Johnny gasped in indignation. "Hey! Whad'ya mean by that?" He protested.

Dixie didn't respond. She simply smiled slyly. Her two favorite paramedics did seem to carry such an over-exaggerated sense of responsibility for one another that it often caused them to unnecessarily drown in misguided guilt when one of them was injured. She felt her jibe had accomplished her goal by putting Johnny slightly on the defensive, and there by re-directed his thoughts away from any perceived culpability toward self protection.

Dixie graced Johnny with a sweet smile, and nodded her head in satisfaction. "That's better Johnny. I think my work here is done now. Sometimes accidents happen, and you have to simply accept you can't control everything. Glad I could help you see the light."

Johnny rubbed his injured ribs where she had nudged him. "See the light?" He questioned with a single raised brow. "More like feel the pain of reality is what I'm thinkin'."

Just as the conversation reached this stalemate, Kel Brackett stepped out of the treatment room and walked toward Johnny and Dixie. Johnny was standing with his back to the physician, but Dixie saw Kel coming and raised questioning brows to him.

"So?" She said, looking over Johnny's shoulder toward the doctor. "How's our boy?"

Hearing Brackett's voice behind him, Johnny turned inquisitive eyes toward him.

"He's actually doing o.k. His oxygen saturation is coming up nicely since we got that lung re-inflated, and his vitals have stabilized." Brackett replied, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke.

"And…?" Johnny prompted.

Brackett sighed. "Well, his ankle fracture looks to be clean, and those wrists are simply sprained. We put in a chest tube to take care of the pneumothorax, and it looks like he also has a couple of broken ribs from the fall. The fall and subsequent fractured ribs are probably what caused the pneumothorax, but we'll keep an eye on him for the next few days to make sure everything is all right. He's coming around, if you want to go in and see him before we send him up to the cast room to have that ankle set." Dr. Brackett concluded placing a reassuring hand on Johnny's back.

Johnny's shoulders sagged and he exhaled a weary sigh of relief. Raising his eyes to again meet Brackett's, he smiled weakly at the physician and nodded. "Yeah, thanks Doc." He said before stepping toward treatment three.

Johnny stopped mid stride, and turned back to look at Dixie. "Oh, hey….could you call JoAnne for me Dix? In the rush I completely….."

Dixie raised a manicured hand to stop him. "Don't worry about it Johnny. I'll call her. You were a little busy you know." She said before shooing him toward the treatment room with a wave of her hand.

A lopsided grin appeared on Johnny's face, and he turned and pushed the door open to enter the treatment room.


	30. Chapter 30

**Fragile**

**Chapter 30**

He was in a bright place. It had been dark before. How had things changed without him noticing? He ventured to take a small experimentally inhaled breath. The sound of somebody groaning followed the breath. '_Was someone hurt?'_ Discombobulated synaptic cells fired out of sync with themselves; confusion reigned. An infinite time span curled around him, washing him through grey mists, in and out of darkness. He was alone, and the sea on which he floated was agony.

There were mumbled voices around him. Waves rocked him, searing pain slammed into his ankle. His chest howled with white hot fire. The air around him was clean, almost antiseptic. Piercing white light filtered into his mind even through closed eyelids. Everything hurt. Breathing was pure agony. Slivers of wrenching pain reached his brain from too many places in his body to even begin to count. Fluid time spun around him. Voices and sounds swirled. It was too bright. He was cold. He was uncomfortable. '_What was going on?'_

A voice called to him. '_Who is that? I should know that voice.'_ A gentle hand stroked his forehead, and the voice was closer now. '_Persistent!'_ God he hurt_. 'Couldn't they leave him alone? If he could just slip back into the darkness, maybe things wouldn't hurt so much.'_

"Come on Pally. Open your eyes for me."

He sighed. '_Ugh….don't do that again. It hurts_.'

"You in there?"

'_Johnny? Now what does he want? Can't he see I am trying to rest here? Damn I hurt!'_

Gentle fingers on the neck. '_Geeze! He's checking for a pulse.'_ Deep breath, sigh. Groan. '_Damn that hurts!'_

"I'm alive Johnny. You can stop checking for a pulse." Roy finally managed to murmur in a soft flat voice.

Johnny heaved a giant relieved sigh. "Well, I was beginning to wonder." He dubiously replied.

Roy lay absolutely still, not bothering to open his eyes. "What the hell happened?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Johnny remarked, curious to see if Roy had any mental deficits from his injury. Roy had fallen with his helmet on, and though Johnny had checked for head trauma he hadn't found anything. But still, it couldn't hurt to make sure.

Roy sighed in frustration. Grimacing in pain courtesy of the sigh, Roy opened his eyes to look up into Johnny's concerned gaze. "Oh, that's just fine. Now you wan'ta go all paramedic on me?"

Johnny chuckled and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'what did you expect?' But the words were never spoken. One dark brow quirked upward questioningly, and serious brown eyes held blue with expectation.

Realizing he'd now have to come up with some kind of answer or Johnny wouldn't leave him alone, Roy forced his aching mind to think. With surprisingly little effort, the memory of Johnny's intense eyes looking down at him appeared in his mind's eye. He remembered desperately latching onto Johnny's fingers with his own, and then he was falling. The look of absolute despair he'd seen in Johnny's eyes just before their fingers had slipped apart slammed into Roy's awareness and an involuntary gasp escaped his lips.

Blue eyes that had been far away for a few seconds suddenly came into sharp focus. "The stairs fell, didn't they?" It was presented as a question, but the memory was rapidly clearing in Roy's mind, and it could just as well have been a statement.

Johnny lowered his eyes to avoid Roy's. "Yeah." He whispered. Hearing Roy state the facts of the event so succinctly jarred Johnny's tenuous resolve to forgive himself. Guilt and remorse tugged at Johnny.

Piercing blue eyes studied Johnny. Slumped shoulders and a downcast gaze screamed Johnny's predicament for Roy. _"He thinks he should have been able to save me!" _Roy realized. _"Of course he'd feel guilty. I guess I would too if our positions were reversed. It couldn't have been helped. Those stairs fell, and he did everything in his power to grab me. Now he's beating himself up."_

A protracted silence filled the space between Johnny and Roy.

Roy considered what to do next. Johnny Gage was his own worst critic. Simple reason would work with most people, but not Johnny. Once he had made up his mind about something, Johnny would dig in his heels and hold fast to his idea despite overwhelming external evidence that might contradict his conclusion. So Roy resorted to a tried and true technique. A flustered Johnny was easier to bring back from the edge than a Johnny stubbornly clinging to some obviously flawed piece of Gage logic.

Setting his own physical discomfort aside for the moment, Roy carefully schooled his facial expression into one of simulated outrage. Breaking the silence, Roy's soft voice jabbed at Johnny. "So Supermedic; what the hell happened? Did you forget to wear your cape this morning? Get a rip in your tights or something?"

Wide brown eyes jerked up to meet intense blue. "Wh…what?" Johnny squeaked. It wasn't enough he already felt horrible for letting Roy fall. Could he have heard correctly? Was Roy accusing him of failure?

"You let me fall! I don't understand. I only outweigh you by twenty pounds. Your fingers should have been strong enough to haul me over the edge of that third floor landing." Roy charged. Roy's glittering blue eyes held Johnny's gaze.

Johnny gaped, his jaw hung open in astonishment. Guilt and torment emanated from fretful brown eyes. "I tried Roy….I…I..r..really did. .But…I couldn't hold on….and " Johnny stammered, his mind reeling from Roy's accusations.

Seeing Johnny's obvious distress cracked Roy's façade. He couldn't maintain the stoic face he'd donned. Mirth quirked at the corners of his lips, and amusement sparkled in his eyes.

Johnny let his eyes close, lost in his own blathering he twirled mentally. His heart ached, and his soul cried out. He hadn't ever expected Roy would outright blame him for the fall. But, it was his fault, and he knew he'd have to face Roy's anger. Finally opening his eyes, Johnny looked into Roy's face.

When the men's eyes met again, Johnny saw the twinkle of humor forming deep within those blue eyes. A slow grin began to spread over Roy's face, and Johnny realized he'd been had. A pregnant pause followed while Johnny attempted to recover his composure. He snapped his mouth closed, and swallowed hard. Finally he began to splutter indignantly. "Tights? And….you outweigh me by twenty pounds? ….more like….."

Roy carefully nodded his head in triumph. _'Mission accomplished.' _He thought.

Though it would have been fun to let Johnny spin himself into a rant, Roy's body cried out for attention. He needed to get some relief. So, without preamble he ungraciously interrupted Johnny. "Junior. Shit happens. Neither one of us had any way of knowing those stairs were going to fall. You caught my fingers and slowed my fall. I'm grateful. Now, would you stop standing there with your mouth open and for the love of all that is holy get someone in here to give me something for pain? I am dying here!"

Johnny immediately abandoned his rant, instantly ashamed of how easily he'd gotten wrapped up in his own emotional turmoil. Looking at Roy, who was now somewhat diaphoretic and pale, Johnny realized Roy likely was in pain. Smiling softly Johnny nodded. "Yeah Pally, I'll get someone in here right now. You just hang on, I'll be right back." He said before turning on his heel and striding from the room.

Roy sighed deeply and allowed his eyes to close. Sinking back into the cushion of the exam table, he waited for promised relief. He didn't have long to wait. Not even a minute after Johnny stepped out of the room, he returned with Dr. Brackett and Dixie in tow.

"Well, looks like you're back with us." Brackett addressed Roy. Leaning over the table with a raised brow he continued. "How are you feeling?"

Roy opened his eyes looking directly at Dr. Brackett. Without any vocal inflection he replied, "Like I fell down three flights of stairs Doc."

Dr. Brackett chuckled softly. "I'll bet. Well, we're gonna take care of that right now. Your x-rays show you have bilateral sprained wrists, a clean tib/fib fracture just above your right ankle, two fractured posterior ribs, and we've inserted a chest tube to take care of the pneumothorax you most assuredly got from the fall. We'll be moving you upstairs to have that ankle set and casted, and then we'll put you in a room. You'll be spending at least three days with us here at hotel Rampart."

While Dr. Brackett spoke, Dixie efficiently drew up a substantial dose of pain medication and stepped over to inject the syringe into Roy's I.V.

"I think this'll make you feel better." She said comfortingly while injecting the contents of the syringe.

Roy felt the icy cold sensation of the medication slide through the I.V and up his arm. Oh yeah, he had no doubt he'd be feeling better very soon. Sighing in anticipation of the promised relief he glanced over to Dixie and smiled. "Oh God Dix. Thank you!"

Dixie disposed of the sharps and laid a gentle hand on Roy's head. "Hurts huh?" She crooned while softly brushing his hair with her fingers.

Pain filled blue eyes looked into hers. "Oh yeah." Roy admitted.

"Well, you just relax and take a little nap. We'll take care of you." She said. "I've called JoAnne. As soon as she can get someone to come pick her up, she'll be here to see you."

Roy closed his eyes. "Thanks Dix." He murmured. He hadn't even considered JoAnne would need someone to get her to the hospital. Faintly Roy realized there might be some complications ahead in his life. With JoAnne laid up, and now his own injuries… He'd need to come up with a plan to work out the logistical problems….. It would take some careful planning, but he knew he'd somehow be able to control the chaos.

But the pain medication was catching up to him now, and somehow the details of existance seemed just too much trouble to consider. He'd deal with it later. Right now Roy allowed himself to sink into the blissfully inviting relief he found in the analgesic swimming through his veins.

Johnny stood beside the stretcher, and watched Roy drift off to sleep. To Johnny, seeing his friend embrace the dark vortex Johnny knew the medication imposed was morbidly fascinating. How could anyone so easily slip into the abyss? Johnny shook his head in silent wonder.

Dixie's mention of JoAnne reminded Johnny that Roy had been running the entire show at home due to JoAnne's recent car accident. Roy's injuries surely would complicate things. Johnny realized there were likely some logistical problems in Roy's future. It would take some serious planning to help life flow smoothly over this particular bump in the road.

Johnny considered the resources at his disposal, and made a mental note to sit down with Cap when he got back to the barn. The station 51 family needed to get organized. It was going to take a village to help one of their fallen members, and despite Roy's tendency to organize and control things around him, Johnny realized this time, things just might not be amenable to being in control for his friend.

Johnny smiled softly to himself while he stepped from the exam room. Life sure could be strange. He wondered how it would be when the traditional care taker became the one in need of care. Standard life roles it seemed were as fragile as illusions of security.


	31. Chapter 31

**Fragile**

**Chapter 31**

When Roy woke next he was vaguely aware he was no longer in the exam room. The bed he occupied seemed far more comfortable than the exam table where he had originally regained consciousness. Without opening his eyes, Roy could feel Ice packs had been placed on each of his wrists which were apparently now wrapped in ace bandages and propped on pillows at his sides. He noticed his throbbing right ankle had been elevated, and he also observed he desperately needed to avail himself of the facilities.

Cracking his eyes open, Roy cautiously looked around the room. Beside him he saw JoAnne dozing in a chair, her ankle propped up in another chair. A book lay open on her lap, and her head had lolled to the side. Roy smiled affectionately. _'She doesn't need to be here. She should be at home resting.'_ Roy considered.

Roy's body interrupted his musings reminding him that immediate relief for an over extended bladder would be most helpful. Sighing heavily when he looked around for the call button, Roy realized even if he found it with his hands bandaged and propped under ice packs, he wouldn't be able to use it. He'd need to wake JoAnne.

As waiting was not an option, Roy reluctantly called out to JoAnne. "Jo?...JoAnne?"

Stirring from her slumber, JoAnne opened her eyes and glanced around the hospital room attempting to discover what had wakened her. When emerald eyes swept over her husband propped up in bed, JoAnne realized he was awake.

"Hey. You're awake." She murmured while fumbling for her crutches.

"Yeah." Roy sheepishly replied. "I wouldn't have disturbed you, but I….uh…well, I really need to use the bathroom. And…." Roy glanced down at his incapacitated hands then back up to JoAnne, "well, I can't exactly use the call button."

A sad smile filtered across JoAnne's lips. "Yeah, I can see that. Let me get it for you." She said as she struggled to stand, and then hobble over to the bed.

Roy watched JoAnne's slow progress, and silently cursed himself for having to wake her. He felt so helpless! He couldn't use either hand, nor could he walk. Shaking his head dejectedly, Roy wordlessly began to wonder what he was going to do. Taking care of himself right now was going to be nearly impossible, and JoAnne was still in need of some help herself. They usually counted on one another for care when injury or illness struck. Roy's mind began to ponder who he would be able to count on now that his wife couldn't fully be there for him.

But for Roy, just thinking about the need wouldn't be the only part of this package. The indignities of having to allow a nurse to assist him with such a basic personal care task were at the very least excruciatingly humiliating. Following the, for Roy, awkward procedure of being assisted to relieve himself, Roy began to wonder if having a Foley catheter might be a better idea than having to summon a nurse for help each time nature called.

Mentally shaking himself for even considering voluntarily seeking a Foley for himself, Roy shuddered. _'What was I thinking? Hell NO! Requesting a catheter would never be preferable….for any reason. It's like having a garden hose shoved up…"_ Roy shivered involuntarily, and promptly dismissed his momentarily departure from sanity as the act of a desperate man whose mind had been warped by pain medication. He'd just endure letting the nurse help. After all, his wrists were only sprained. The humiliation would only be temporary.

* * *

><p>Back at station 51 Johnny greeted his fill in partner. Inwardly Johnny groaned when he discovered he'd be working with Ricky Wesley. Remembering that Roy had ended up taking a trip to Rampart for heat exhaustion while working with this newbie didn't bolster Johnny's confidence in the young man. Still, Johnny supposed everyone had to be a novice sometime. Good naturedly Johnny extended his hand to the young man.<p>

"Hey there. I'm John Gage. Thanks for coming in. I guess we'll be partners for the day huh." He offered warmly.

Furtive green eyes met brown. Ricky extended his hand to Johnny. "Oh hi. I'm Ricky Wesley. Yeah, guess we'll be partners today." Ricky softly answered. Secretly, he'd been thrilled when he got the call to substitute at 51's. The shift he'd worked with Roy had, though it involved a trip to Rampart for both medics, still turned out to be educational and informative. The opportunity to work with the other half of this almost legendary paramedic team was one Ricky was delighted to accept.

Introductions having been completed, Johnny left Ricky in the day room, and went in search of Captain Stanley.

Peering into the Captain's office, Johnny spotted Stanley at his desk elbow deep in his latest round of paperwork. Johnny rapped lightly at the door frame with his knuckles.

At the sound, Hank glanced up from his desk. "Oh hey John. How's Roy?"

"He's fine Cap. They have him all bandaged up, and he was resting comfortably." Johnny answered as he stepped into the office. "Say, Cap. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Hank slid his chair away from his desk, and turned to face Johnny. Gesturing toward the chair beside his desk he said, "Sure John. Have a seat. What's on your mind?"

Johnny slipped inside the office and sat down in the proffered chair. "Well, Cap….I've been thinkin'. Roy's gonna be needin' some extra help, what with JoAnne still being messed up and now Roy. Well, ya know. He won't be able to use his hands at all for a few days, and he can't walk. When he gets out'a Rampart..."

Hank rubbed a thoughtful hand over his chin. "Yeah, ya know….I hadn't thought about that. I guess Roy's the one who always jumps in to take care of everyone else when their hurt, huh. Looks like he's gonna need some extra help for a while."

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, I'd say a lot of help for at least a week or two."

Hank nodded his head in agreement. "Tell ya what, let me call Emily. She'll put together a task force of women, and then we'll work out a schedule between all of the men for while Roy's laid up."

Johnny sat quietly for a few moments. He knew Roy; the customary care taker was going to have some issues with his current situation. The amount of personal care he'd need would be pretty tough to take for anyone. But Roy, the strong in charge paramedic might kick and scream quite a bit.

Hank watched several emotions play across his junior medic's face. After a few minutes Hank broke the silence. "What?" He said.

Johnny carded his fingers through his thick sable locks letting a big breath explode from his lips. "Roy's not gonna like this Cap. I can't see him being all that thrilled with ending up as the station project."

Stanley nodded in solemn agreement. "Well pal, he'll just have to get used to it. He's family, and we take care of our own." He flatly decreed.

Johnny nodded, and sighed again. "Might be a good idea to let me take the first shift, huh."

Cap chuckled softly. "Well, I guess turnabout is fair play. As many times as he's taken care of you after you've ended up at Rampart, and dealt with your tantrums over accepting help….wouldn't be a bad thing to let you take the first dose of tantrum from him."

Brown eyes opened wide with indignation. "Hey! That's not what I meant!"

Cap laughed again. "Well, pal if the shoe fits….." He retorted.

"Now wait just a dog gonned minute…!" Johnny blustered.

Stanley waved Johnny off with a casual hand, mirth still coloring Stanley's rugged features. "Get out of here Gage. I'll give Emily a call, and we'll get things arranged."

Johnny grinned. He'd obviously been called out, and there was really no denial of the facts. Concession was his only real option. Holding his hands up in defeat he stood to leave. "All right, all right. Thanks Cap." He said, and turning on his heel he strode from the office.

* * *

><p>Ensconced among pillows and alternating ice and heat packs, Roy found himself in an awkward situation yet again later in the evening. He'd managed to get JoAnne to call the neighbors to take her home so she'd be there to take care of the children when school was out. JoAnne was still not at her best with her own lingering injuries from the car accident, and really shouldn't be spending time cramped into an uncomfortable hospital chair.<p>

But, now that JoAnne had gone, Roy realized how dependent he was on others for his every need. Looking longingly at the pitcher of water on his hospital table, Roy wished he could reach out and get himself a drink. His injured wrists throbbed, and attempting to move them caused searing agony. He could only imagine what would happen if he was to attempt to pick up a cup containing water. Roy sighed heavily in frustration and ran his dry tongue over even dryer lips. _'I can't even get water on my own. How am I going to function, even here in the hospital?'_ He bitterly pondered.

A brief respite for Roy's dilemma arrived with the nurse who came in to change his ice packs over to hot packs. "How are you doing Mr. DeSoto?" She asked politely while deftly going about her work.

Clearing his parched throat, Roy managed to croak "Thirsty."

The nurse completed her task, and filled Roy's water cup with ice water. Holding the straw up to his lips she let him drink. When he seemed to have quenched his thirst, she smiled and sat the cup on the table. "Better?" She asked warmly.

"Yeah, for now." Roy replied contritely. But what am I supposed to do if I want more water in a minute? I can't even press the call button." He grumbled.

Roy's mounting frustration was evident to the experienced nurse. She refilled the cup, and placed it on the rolling table which she then positioned almost over Roy's shoulder. "Try that." She said indicating Roy should see if he could reach the straw with a little movement of his head.

After discovering that now he could drink, Roy smiled gratefully at the woman. "Better. Thanks." He replied.

Next the nurse retrieved the call button, and placed it under Roy's fingers. "It'll be a little tough, but if you really need someone you can press the button now. You shouldn't need to, but this way you will feel like you can, just in case." She comforted.

Roy smiled up at the helpful woman. "Thanks Ma'am. I really appreciate that." He said.

After assuring herself her patient was comfortable for the moment, the young nurse left to continue her duties.

When the nurse left him alone, Roy lay mulling over his situation. How was he going to survive at home? Basic things were difficult here in the hospital. They'd be nearly impossible at home. JoAnne wasn't going to be able to help him much. She was barely getting around on her own right now. He knew Johnny would be around when he wasn't on shift, but the idea of his friend and partner having to help Roy with even the most fundamental of personal needs was at the very least uncomfortable for Roy. And what would he do when Johnny was at work, or out taking care of errands? He couldn't expect Johnny to give up his life just because Roy had gotten injured.

Roy grumpily considered how life had thrown him a huge curve ball. This morning he'd been in charge. He was accustomed to being in charge. He was the person who took care of others in times of need. He was careful. He'd even warned Johnny those stairs were unstable. How could this have happened? What was he going to do now?

No, things were not going to be easy. Shaking his head yet again in silent frustration, Roy allowed his eyes to close. There was simply too much to think about. He needed to rest. He'd figure out how to deal with all this tomorrow. Sleep beckoned, and Roy allowed himself to drift away from his thoughts and physical pain into blissful dreamland.


	32. Chapter 32

**Fragile**

**Chapter 32**

Johnny left Cap's office and strolled into the day room where he poured himself a cup of coffee. Taking a seat at the table, he absently flipped through a magazine while pondering how best to deal with Roy's recent change of circumstance, and the almost certain emotional fall-out likely to occur.

After numerous occasions where Johnny had ended up flat on his back in Rampart where Roy had insistently been there to provide him with help, Johnny knew from experience how tough it could be from the patient's point of view. The feelings of dependence, helplessness, depression and frustration could get overwhelming sometimes, especially when coupled with physical symptoms of injury and what always seemed to be over abundant medications that came with their own special joyous gifts in the form of side effects.

Johnny raked his fingers through his hair in consternation contemplating his own responses to the dilemmas associated with recovering from injuries. He knew if he found the notion of being the dependent patient disquieting, Roy who was accustomed to being either the care giver, or cared for by his wife was likely going to find the situation intolerable.

'_At least he's alive …. Huh…wonder how many times Roy has thought the same thing about me when he was takin' care of me after some accident?.'_ Johnny pondered. _'If he can handle me, I can most certainly handle him. Roy's my best friend after all. We've been through tough times before. We'll get through this somehow. I'm not gonna let Roy down, no matter how much he's gonna hate the recovery process. If he can stick around while I kick and scream, I can do the same and more for him.' _

Johnny took a deep breath, and then let the air whoosh from his lips. Yes, the next few weeks might get interesting. He looked down into his coffee cup, allowing another sigh to escape. Then steeling himself for what was to come, Johnny stood and walked over to the stove to freshen up his now cold beverage.

Ricky Wesley glanced up from the magazine he was perusing, noticing silently how Johnny seemed to be brooding. "What's up Johnny?' He quietly inquired. "Are you worried about Roy?"

Turning to look at Ricky, Johnny offered a small grin. "Yeah, I guess a little. Sorry if I'm not much company right now."

"No, I understand." Ricky said raising a hand to stop Johnny's apology. "You guys are close, and though I haven't gotten a regular station and partner yet, I can understand how it would be pretty tough to see a buddy injured. If there is anything I can do to help out, just ask. Roy's a good guy."

As eyes the color of dark chocolate met sparkling green Johnny witnessed Ricky's genuine concern and compassion. Roy had mentioned the young medic had a way with people. His warm easy manner would probably work wonders with patients. Johnny acknowledged the young man with a small nod. "Thanks man. I appreciate that, and I know Roy will too."

Johnny brought his coffee back to the table and sat down. The two medics perused their magazines and sipped coffee in comfortable silence for several minutes until the sudden blaring of tones and klaxon brought them to attention.

The call was for an MVA on the 405 freeway. The sound of boots hastily moving across concrete filled the apparatus bay at station 51 as men scrambled into trucks before sirens screamed from the garage heralding the beginnings of a new mission of mercy.

* * *

><p>When Roy woke from his nap, he opened his eyes and was immediately aware he was not alone in the room. Looking over to his left Roy observed Emily Stanley quietly sitting at his side. She was reading a magazine, and seemed unaware Roy was watching her.<p>

Not wishing to startle his Captain's wife, Roy cleared his throat to subtly attract her attention. It worked. She looked up and her hazel eyes made contact with his.

Emily smiled. "Well, hello there sleepy head. Looks like you're awake again." She said while standing and stepping over to Roy's bedside.

Roy nodded affirmatively. "Hey Emily. Good to see you. It's nice of you to visit me."

Emily filled Roy's water cup with fresh iced water and put the straw between his lips. "I'll bet you're thirsty." She observed.

Gratefully Roy sipped from the straw. When he was sufficiently sated he let the straw fall from his lips. "Thanks." He offered.

Emily sat the cup back on the table, and gently patted Roy on the shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Roy, never one to really enjoy small talk was beginning to feel uncomfortable in the conversation. How long had Emily been sitting with him, and how long was she planning to stay? "Oh…uh…I'm fine I guess." He lied.

But the truth was, Roy wasn't really fine. He hurt all over, his chest burned where the chest tube had been inserted. His wrists throbbed in time with his pulse, and his lower leg screamed with nauseating pain. To make matters worse, unfortunately all the water he'd drunk before sleeping had seemingly made its way through his system, and now Roy felt the call of nature beginning to beckon him with some urgency. Remembering the call button his nurse had left under his hand on her last visit, Roy glanced down at his hand to see if he could still reach it. Regrettably the device had somehow managed to slither away while he slept, and he couldn't locate it.

Sensing Roy's dilemma, Emily reached up for the upper part of the bell cord, and using the cord as if it were fishing line, she excavated the device from its hiding place. Holding it in the air triumphantly she smiled and quarried, "Looking for this?"

Roy felt a warm blush begin to tint his ears. Squirming uncomfortably in bed, he raised his gaze to meet Emily's. Roy cleared his throat uncomfortably, and ran his tongue across suddenly dry lips. "Uh, yeah….I was. Uh…" He stammered. But he was loathe to tell her why he needed to call the nurse, and failing to find the words his voice trailed off while he sat wide eyed and open mouthed.

Emily knew Roy having to depend on others for even basic personal care was likely going to be an awkward situation at best. His discomfort was presently easily observed. Though she had already begun to organize a helper brigade from amongst the wives of 51's men, Hank had advised his wife actually working through the initial stages of providing care might be somewhat difficult given Roy was a fairly controlling fellow who found his normal security in being the care giver. Emily hoped to help settle Roy into the idea he would be attended by others because it was necessary, like it or not.

Laying a gentle hand on Roy's shoulder Emily's hazel eyes held Roy's furtive blues. "I didn't come to visit Roy, I came to sit with you, and help you." She said in a soft yet firm voice. "I realize being in a situation where you need someone to do just about everything for you is pretty awful. But honestly, that's where you are going to be for a few days. Your wife is still recovering from her car accident, and really shouldn't be sitting for hours here at Rampart. Yet, you need someone here. The nurses just can't be in the room every minute."

Roy sighed heavily, wincing from the pain of such a deep breath. He did not like the idea some monumental effort would be organized around taking care of Roy. The simple act of considering such a situation was unsettling. "Who called you, Johnny or Cap?" Roy asked, irritably realizing it could have been either of them.

"Hank called me to come over, and said if you had any arguments to take it up with him. He mentioned something about an order, if I am remembering correctly." Emily answered, her twinkling hazel eyes informing him she found Hank's need to forward such an order amusing given Emily was fairly capable of enforcing any rule she cared to invoke. Not offering Roy opportunity to voice protest, Emily continued, "I am putting together a team to help your family through these next few weeks. I realize having us around may feel awkward, but we're all just going to have to make the best of the situation for a little while. You're family, and we take care of our own at 51"s." She crossed her arms over her chest in a gesture of finality, allowing no room for disagreement.

Roy wanted to tell Emily her efforts were unnecessary; but he couldn't because he silently and glumly realized he _was_ going to need help. She was correct, and with some discontentment and frustration a dawning awareness arrived for Roy he was about to become the station 51 project. He felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, and the blush which had been only warming his ears crept into his cheeks. He exhaled a defeated sigh, and with an air of resigned weariness said, "Thanks Emily. I do appreciate this. It's just…well…."

Roy's voice trailed off leaving an uncomfortable silence in the room. He genuinely did appreciate Emily's efforts. But, the idea of his friends and their families pitching in to assist, while heartwarming, left Roy feeling somehow helpless and vulnerable.

Emily smiled reassuringly at the flustered man, and pressed the call button for him.

"You're gonna be feeling better before you know it Roy. This'll only be for a little while." Emily soothed.

Roy smiled wanly, and nodded in agreement before letting his head loll onto his pillow and closing his eyes. Moments later when the nurse arrived in Roy's room, Emily discretely stepped out allowing Roy some privacy.

The remainder of Roy's Saturday evening passed with more pain medication, and several uncomfortable though likely necessary encounters with Emily Stanley. With incapacitated hands, Roy needed to be fed. Filling a glass to drink was impossible, and he had to depend on Emily to help. Adjusting his position in bed was difficult, and he'd had to ask for assistance. Even a simple itch was a hardship requiring him to need the aid of his Captain's wife. Yes, it would be fair to say that by the time the evening round of meds were to be delivered, Roy happily accepted them in hopes of at least escaping his current humiliating situation even if only for just a while in a drug induced slumber.

For her part, Emily gently yet firmly insisted Roy allow her to help him. She chatted easily when Roy seemed to need the silence filled, and sat quietly reading when he dozed. Roy's embarrassment was obvious to Emily, and she made every effort to efficiently aid him in simple tasks while allowing him as much dignity and privacy as were possible in his condition.

Bright and early Sunday morning Emily greeted her replacement warmly. Marco's mom, Adelena Lopez entered Roy's room bearing homemade breakfast sandwiches and a large thermos of fresh delicious smelling coffee. The two ladies stepped outside so as not to disturb the still as yet sleeping Roy. Before departing for home, Emily shared specifics of Roy's needs with Lena, and the two enjoyed breakfast.

At seven a.m. Roy was awakened by a nurse who took vitals, helped him use a bedpan, bathed him and administered morning meds. When the humiliating ordeal finally ended, Lena entered Roy's room bringing with her breakfast and motherly love. For some reason, Roy found Lena's presence comforting. He never had to broach the uncomfortable task of requesting she call for a nurse when he needed to pee. Somehow she always seemed to know it was time, and would reach for the call button just before he had to say anything. While Roy dozed, Lena sat quietly knitting or reading a magazine. When he woke, she readily provided water, a cool cloth to wipe his face, or simply a kind word. Somehow, Mama Lopez's presence soothed Roy, and the day slipped by with comfortable ease.

In the early evening Roy roused from a rather long drug enhanced afternoon nap to find there had been a changing of the guard in his room. Instead of Lena, he now found Johnny engrossed in a novel, sitting quietly in the chair beside his bed.

"Hey Johnny." Roy called softly to his friend.

Brown eyes immediately abandoned the pages of the novel to peer at Roy. "Hey yourself!" Johnny replied. "How you doin'?"

"Pain meds….pretty groggy." Roy quietly answered.

Johnny stood and walked over to Roy's bedside. After offering Roy some water, the two men regarded one another in silence for a few moments. Johnny could see by the drawn lines in the middle of Roy's forehead and around his eyes that though he was complaining about being groggy from the pain medication, the medication was obviously not managing to entirely mask the pain.

"Looks like you might be hurtin'." Johnny observed.

A soft harsh chuckle escaped Roy. "That obvious huh?"

Johnny nodded offering a small crocked grin. "Yeah, kind'a. Want me to get the nurse to come give you somethin'?"

Roy shook his head. "Na…it's probably about time for the next round anyway. I can wait."

Johnny glanced down at Roy's bandaged hands and wrists. "How are your wrists?"

Roy followed Johnny's gaze, peering at his currently ice pack covered appendages. "Well, better than they were yesterday. Still can't do anything with them. Sort'a stinks." With the last remark, the corners of Roy's mouth turned down into a disgruntled frown.

"It's only temporary Roy." Johnny offered. He reached back and dragged his chair over closer to the bed and sat down.

Roy sighed with exasperation. "I know Johnny….it's just…." But he didn't finish the sentence. He knew perfectly well Johnny could relate to being helpless in a hospital bed, dependent on others despite a fiercely independent nature.

Johnny grinned at his friend. "Ya don't have to say it Pally. I get it, ya know I do."

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. An orderly entered the room bearing Roy's dinner tray. "Hello Mr. DeSoto. It's time for dinner." He said in a cheerful voice. He brought the tray over and placed it on the table at the foot of the bed.

"I'm Robert." The man continued as he began to unfold a napkin and tuck it into the neckline of Roy's hospital gown. He reached over, and slowly adjusted the bed so that Roy was in a more upright position, and turned to lift the cover from the tray of food.

"It looks like you'll be needing some assistance with your meal this evening, so I guess I'm the guy for that." Robert offered with a quick smile as he reached for the fork.

Roy scowled. The idea of needing to be fed by someone else was humiliating. Worse yet, being fed by a hospital orderly while his friend and partner watched! No, Roy was not at all happy with the situation at hand. He'd endured Emily Stanley feeding him because well…he really hadn't had much choice. And, her position as Cap's wife left little room for argument. Lena Lopez feeding him had somehow felt, well…natural, much to his dismay. But having this orderly feed him….oh no, this just wouldn't do.

"Ya know what Robert…." Johnny interrupted standing up from his chair while reaching for the fork. "Why don't you let me take care of this for you:"

Robert looked relieved. He'd been sent in to feed this patient when he had three rooms yet to turn, bedpans to clean, and he was supposed to run another patient down to the x-ray department in less than 15 minutes.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Robert inquired politely glancing from Roy to Johnny while handing over the fork.

"Nope, no problem." Johnny confirmed.

Roy only nodded in agreement. He hadn't wanted to have Johnny sit and watch the orderly spoon feed him, but he wasn't sure he was all that excited about having Johnny feed him either.

"Thanks guys." Robert said before beating a hasty retreat.

When Robert had gone, Johnny turned to Roy. Seeing the expression of disgruntled distaste Roy wore, Johnny grinned at his friend. "I know. Being fed sucks. Got it."

Roy gritted his teeth, and nodded silently.

"Tell ya what." Johnny offered settling the fork back down on the food tray. "Let's see how those wrists are doin. It's been over twenty four hours since the injury. Let me have a little look."

After Johnny gingerly palpated Roy's wrists, it was decided that perhaps Roy could help with the eating some using the fingers of his left hand, provided he was careful not to move them. Johnny handed Roy bits of dinner roll to feed himself, and Roy even managed a few forkfuls of mashed potatoes on his own. The system worked well, and though still somewhat embarrassed Roy managed to relax and begin to enjoy visiting with his partner. When Roy tired, Johnny smoothly took over and finished feeding Roy while keeping up a constant line of banter regaling Roy with tales of the previous shift with Ricky.

When Roy had eaten his fill, Johnny sat the tray aside. Roy leaned his head back into his pillow, exhausted by the effort of helping with his meal. Letting his eyes slip closed, Roy silently contemplated his situation. Letting Johnny help hadn't been so bad. Awkward, but not all that bad. Still, he would be glad when he didn't need the help.

Johnny took the dinner tray outside into the hallway, and left it on a nearby cart. Returning to Roy's room, Johnny stepped into the bathroom and found a washcloth. Wetting the cloth with warm water, he returned to the bed and began to wipe the evidence of dinner away from Roy's face.

Started to feel the wet cloth on his face, Roy opened his eyes. "Johnny, you don't have to bathe me." He huffed.

Johnny ignored Roy's complaint and finished his task.

Storm clouds gathered in blue eyes. Roy frowned.

Johnny tossed the washcloth onto the bedside table with one hand and held the other up in a gesture designed to silence Roy.

"You just hang on for a second Roy." Johnny said in a firm voice. "Your face had food on it, and it needed to be washed. I'm here, and there was no way I was gonna let my friend lie there like a toddler with din din on his face."

Roy rolled his eyes at Johnny's analogy. Angrily his gaze pierced Johnny with glittering fire. "Stop it Johnny. You're not my mother, all right!" Roy fumed.

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, and his face took on a determined hard edge. In a voice laced with finely spun steel he spoke. "You know what Roy, you're right. I'm not your mother and I'm not your doctor. If I were either, I'd have made ya rest those wrists completely for at least another couple of days. And…uh….I gotta add, if I were in that bed and you were the one doin' the feedin today, no doubt you'd have made me sit there and not help. But I….." and Johnny uncrossed his arms and splayed an open hand across his chest, "am tryin' to do this allowing you as much dignity as I can. But, as you've said to me on more than one occasion partner, like it or not, we are gonna do this 'cause we're friends and friends take care of one another."

Roy closed his eyes and turned away from Johnny. He knew Johnny was correct. Roy appreciated his friend's efforts. It was just that the whole situation was frustrating, and he'd been forced to lie in bed for more than 24 hours now with people taking care of him despite the indignity of it all. He felt so helpless. It was infuriating to have to smile and be gracious when all he wanted to do was scream at cruel fate for landing him in this situation.

A gentle hand on his shoulder drew Roy's attention from his inner turmoil. Turning, he opened his eyes to meet Johnny's gaze.

In a gentle voice Johnny continued then. "You know what Roy, I do get it. And, if you just need to scream at me so ya don't go nuts, I can deal with it. But we'll get through this, I promise ya we will. I got your back man."

Roy smiled at his friend, the anger he'd felt seeping away. Johnny did get it. Roy sighed. "I know Johnny, I know. God knows we've had many conversations like this where I was the one standing at the bedside. I am just findin' lying here puts a whole new twist on the situation is all. And…..Next time you're the one lying in this bed, please feel free to remind me how much being the patient sucks. I'll take it easier on you then, I promise."

Johnny chuckled, shaking his head. "No you won't Pally. You my friend are a hopeless rule follower. You'll be just as stubborn as always." He quipped.

Roy had to smile. Busted! "Well….bein as I'm the one in this bed, I'll just have to say I am so glad you're prone to….ah…being more creative about rule interpretation."

Johnny smirked. _"Oh, you'll be following the Doc's orders Pally, have no doubt. We'll just see if we can work it out so you at least feel like it's your idea to follow them rather than me forcing the issue._

Johnny rubbed his hands together then in a very Cap like gesture as if to change the subject. "Well now partner, let's see if we can get your evening….uh…needs taken care of before the nurse comes around to give you medication."

Roy's eyes widened in something akin to horror. Grimacing, he turned his head away from Johnny. Was he to be spared no indignity?

Johnny chuckled and set about retrieving supplies for assisting Roy in relieving himself. While he worked he talked. "Hey, don't worry about it Pally. Just pretend we're practicing skills with patients for later use in the back of an ambulance. It's not like the experience of helping someone out is new to either one of us. We do it all the time. The difference for you here today is, well….today you're getting to play patient."

Roy rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oh great! Just what I need is you practicing on me." He offered. But, given the choice between having to endure the nurse's help, and having his experienced paramedic partner's help, Roy supposed Johnny was likely a better choice. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to have much choice in the matter.

After Roy was taken care of and comfortable, the two friends settled down to pass the evening in comfortable companionship. Evening meds were delivered in short order, and Roy slipped into a gentle slumber secure in the knowledge his friend would be with him through the night should any need arise.


	33. Chapter 33

**Fragile**

**Chapter 33**

The smell of coffee drifting through his room greeted a bleary eyed Roy early Monday morning. With great effort heavy lids were lifted on cloudy blue eyes. Roy peered through the darkened area at Johnny who sat in the chair beside his bed sipping the rich smelling brew. From the wan shafts of stray light drifting through the window, Roy guessed it must still be pretty early in the morning. Apparently Johnny had spent the night and had either not slept, or had woke early and found himself a caffeine rejuvenator,

Wakefulness brought with it an awareness of aches and pains previously obscured by sleep for Roy. Uneasily he shifted slightly in bed causing his injured ribs to howl in protest encouraging an involuntary moan to escape his lips.

Instantly alerted by the sound, Johnny stood from his chair and approached his friend. Deep brown orbs peered into blue eyes laced with the hazy remnants of drug induced slumber mixed with pain. Without even a word of permission or acknowledgement, Johnny reached over his friend and pressed the call button. Smiling down at his partner, Johnny next poured some water into Roy's cup, and placed the straw between Roy's lips.

"Here Roy, take a few sips of water." Johnny directed.

Roy followed instructions without comment. As he drank the cooling liquid slipped down his parched throat soothing at least that discomfort.

"I've called for the nurse. We'll get you something for the pain here in just a sec'." Johnny soothed.

Roy squirmed uncomfortably, again igniting protest from his broken ribs. Grimacing, he silently reminded himself moving around wasn't such a good plan at the moment. He felt tired, sore and cranky. All he wanted was to be left alone.

Lethargically Roy let the straw he'd had between his lips slide away. "I'm fine. Forgot and moved is all. Meds…feel hazy. It'll wait." Roy mumbled.

"No it won't pal." Johnny remarked as he sat the cup back on the bed table.

Irritably Roy growled. "I'm fine Johnny. Leave me the hell alone."

Johnny's soft chuckle filled the darkened room. "Sure you are."

The door to the room opened and a nurse appeared. Johnny turned and graced the pretty young woman with a smile.

"Is there a problem Mr. DeSoto?" The woman quarried approaching Roy's bed.

Roy opened his mouth to respond but didn't manage to croak even a word before Johnny answered for him. "Can we get him a dose of pain meds please?"

The nurse, now standing on the opposite side of the bed from Johnny met Johnny's concerned gaze, and then directed her attention toward her patient. Her experienced eye saw lines of pain etched in Roy's face, and she noticed a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead and cheeks. Yes, he likely did need some pain medication. Smiling she turned on her heel to exit the room tossing over her shoulder, "I'll be back in a minute with medication." Then she disappeared out the door.

Roy who still hadn't managed to get a word into the conversation gaped slack jawed after her. Pressing his lips together angrily, Roy turned flashing blue eyes to meet innocent brown. Johnny had no right to speak for him. Roy was a grown man, and he knew when he needed pain medication and when he didn't. He hadn't even been allowed to enter the conversation. Smoldering anger emanated from Roy while his eyes held Johnny's

Johnny smiled sweetly down at Roy. He could see the outrage in his partner's demeanor. Dark eyebrows rose questioningly. "Ready to yell at me?"

Roy gritted his teeth, seething with self riotous indignation. "Damn it Johnny…..!" He blustered. "I told you I'm fine."

Johnny shook his head from side to side. "Which we both know wasn't true. So, shut up and let's get you comfortable so you can go back to sleep."

Roy exhaled a huge sigh of frustration, followed closely by a grimace of pain.

Brown eyes carefully observed, and dark brows again rose questioningly. Roy closed his eyes to avoid Johnny's knowing stare. After a moment Roy again opened his eyes in time to see Johnny cross his arms over his chest. Neither Johnny nor Roy said anything aloud; there was no need. The silent communication they shared spoke volumes, and both men knew how things would be.

Flashing blue eyes were held captive by serious brown. Roy could see in the determined set of his friend's jaw there was to be no arguing with Johnny. Roy sighed again, and didn't bother to disguise the wince of agony.

Johnny smiled softly and nodded affirmatively. At least Roy realized he couldn't hide. Johnny could see the surrender in his friend's eyes.

Roy silently acquiesced with a nod.

After an extended pause Roy finally broke the stillness. "What time are you leaving here?"

Johnny laughed aloud, acknowledging his partner's obvious attempt to elude Johnny's personal scrutiny. "In three or four hours. But… I don't think that'll help you get away with anything. I believe my replacement is…" Johnny paused for effect tapping his chin with a finger. "Oh yeah…Cap'll be in at around sevent o'clock to spend today with you."

Roy groaned aloud turning his face away from his friend. He could hear Johnny's soft melodious chuckle again stirring the stillness of the darkened room.

After an extended silence where Roy brooded and Johnny stood guard, Johnny finally broke the hush. "You're just gonna have to make peace with it Roy. You're the guy in the bed right now, and we're gonna make sure you are taken care of. So, scream at me if you want. Or, yell at Cap if you dare. But we're gonna get ya through this, whether you like it or not. As a wise man once told me, you're family. And we take care of our family."

Roy knew Johnny was referring to the times when Johnny had been the patient, and Roy had forced him to endure by reminding his friend of the bonds between the men. Now Roy found he was being soundly thrashed with his own words. That was just what Roy didn't need. And Johnny seemed to handle him and his situation with such gentle ease and good humor. It was at once infuriating, and heartwarming. Roy felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was weak here, and all his friends would not only see his vulnerability, they'd be a party to walking him through it. It was like being in some sort of never ending nightmarish movie where Roy found he couldn't even step up and remove himself from the theatre. What a maddening conundrum!

Roy groaned. He was trapped in this stinking hospital bed! And, his rock, his anchor JoAnne was currently unable to care for him, to shield him from humiliation. Roy would have to depend on friends now. There was no escaping his situation. Through gritted teeth while looking away from his partner Roy softly groused. "This sucks!"

Again a warm easy laugh filled the room. Then a gentle hand patted Roy's shoulder and Johnny remarked. "Boy don't I know it. But, it's temporary. So, keep that in mind and somehow maybe it'll make it easier."

"Yeah, right." Roy sullenly grumbled.

Johnny's light chortle drifted through the air one more time.

The sound of the door opening caught both men's attention then as the nurse reappeared in Roy's room. She took a quick set of vitals, and administered the promised analgesic. Roy accepted the meds without comment, all the while glaring at Johnny who hovered at the bedside wearing what Roy would interpret as a self satisfied smirk.

Johnny quietly observed Roy as the nurse performed her work. Roy's diaphoretic face was marred by the tell tale lines of pain around his eyes and mouth which slowly eased into peaceful rest when the narcotics began to wash through his system. Blue eyes peeked out from drooping lids.

"Ya need ta go home an' rest Johnny." Roy mumbled. "Don't want you here as a roommate 'cause you wore yourself out sittin' with me…."

Johnny smiled fondly at his friend and reached a warm hand out to gently pat Roy's. "I know what ya' want Pally. I'll leave in a while, so stop trying to get rid of me. You just relax and take a nap, o.k."

Roy sighed heavily, now no longer caring or aware the sigh caused his ribs to protest. . "K…" His concession was a barely articulated mumble.

The analgesic alluringly drew Roy from the agony in his ribs and leg. Throbbing wrists ceased to matter, Johnny's hovering would have to do, and indignities were forgotten. His consciousness slipped peacefully away into cool relief and time lost meaning and purpose as Roy swirled into the welcoming vortex of respite.

Standing at Roy's bedside, Johnny observed with reverent awe his friend's effortless surrender. For a brief instant Johnny longingly marveled at the ease with which Roy melted into oblivion. But the moment passed with an involuntary shudder and Johnny shook his head in dismay of his own morbid curiosity as he smoothed and straightened Roy's bed covers before returning to sit in quiet vigil until Cap appeared to relieve him.

Johnny settled himself to read in the chair beside Roy's bed. A periodical was perused until weary eyes grew heavy and Johnny's chin lolled to rest upon his chest. He didn't know how much time had passed when he felt a large strong hand resting on his shoulder. Brown eyes sleepily opened to look up into the face of Captain Hank Stanley.

Hank squeezed Johnny's shoulder, and gestured with a small jerk of his head for Johnny to join him in the hall. Quietly Johnny unfolded himself from the uncomfortable plastic chair, and followed his Captain out the door.

Emily had sent a thermos of coffee along with Hank, and the two men sat together in the hallway exchanging information and sipping the fragrant liquid. When they had concluded their visit, one weary fireman headed toward the elevator while one determined Captain quietly walked into his senior paramedic's hospital room to pick up the crusade of the caregiver.

When Roy again joined the land of wakefulness his room was bathed in sunlight. Glancing over to where Johnny had spent the previous night, Roy saw that indeed his partner had been replaced by his Captain. Cap's long legs were stretched out in front of him, his chin resting on his chest, arms folded in his lap with hands clasped. A soft even snore could be heard from the quiescent man. Roy couldn't help but grin. He had no idea what time it was, nor how long his lanky captain had been folded into the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair, but the sight of Hank Stanly dozing beside him reminded him how much his friends were willing to endure to be at his side, even if Roy found their presence uncomfortable.

For the briefest of moments Roy permitted himself to find the blessing of being immersed in the tender care of his friends. As difficult as his situation might seem, Roy allowed himself these few quiet seconds to truly realize and know that he was really cared for. Quietly he considered a saying he'd once heard. _"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." _

With a deep sigh Roy sat with the truth of his current circumstances. Indeed life had thrown him an opportunity to explore his own fragility, and the precarious nature of the role in which he generally saw himself. Anything could change in the blink of an eye. Anyone could go from care giver to receiver without warning. But, it was pretty clear to Roy he would not be left to deal with his fragility alone. His friends, his family would be there every grueling step of the way.

Roy sighed heavily, and then cleared his throat loudly to rouse his captain. He needed to attend to some personal business, and like it or not, Roy would require some help.

Captain Stanley opened his eyes to find Roy awake. Unfolding his lanky body from the hard chair, Hank walked to the bedside to greet Roy.

Roy took a deep breath, and swallowed hard. Then he met his Captain's gaze and prepared to make his first humbling request of the new day.

* * *

><p>A very rumpled Johnny stumbled from Roy's hospital room toward the elevator. Limply he pressed the down button with one hand while the other rubbed gritty sleep from tired brown eyes. When the elevator car arrived, Johnny gratefully stepped inside totally unaware of anyone else around him. In an almost blind haze he reached out and found the "1" button, giving it a quick swat.<p>

The other occupant of the elevator car was a tired nurse who had finally reached the end of her normal work shift. The elevator from her floor down to the first level seemed to move at a glacial pace, and she sighed heavily as it stopped to admit someone on a floor only two levels below where she had been. All she wanted was to get her tired body home. She'd been working a lot of over time, and a day off was coming her way today. Deep in her own musings and plans for her free time, Shelby almost didn't look up when the doors slid open. But, for some reason her eyes were drawn to the tall slender figure that entered and then slapped haphazardly at the floor buttons of the elevator. Recognition dawned quickly, and Shelby couldn't help but comment.

"Well, what have we here?" Her melodic voice quarried from someplace behind an oblivious Johnny Gage.

The familiarity of the voice startled the sleepy man, and he turned a questioning gaze to look into the sparkling blue eyes of Shelby Makee.

Shelby's practiced gaze took in the mussed hair, and disheveled appearance of her new companion, and her nurses instincts immediately fled from surprise to suspicion.. "You're not trying to escape the hospital are you?" She unceremoniously questioned.

"Huh?" He murmured. "Escape….?" His sleep fogged brain was moving slowly enough, he didn't realize what she might be insinuating with her question.

"John Gage, is there a hospital room with your name on it?" She demanded. Shelby crossed her arms over her chest and impatiently tapped a white shoed foot while sparkling blue eyes pinned Johnny with her inquisitive glare.

Suddenly neurons fired into life and Johnny realized what she was asking. He stepped away from her grinning, holding both hands up in surrender. "Whoa now nursie! Don't get your dander up. _**I'm**_ not the one with the Rampart reservations today. That would be my partner. I'm just gettin' off Roy watch."

Shelby allowed her eyes to hold him for another moment. But he looked to be telling the truth, and she smiled and relented. "Well, considering your reputation, I had to ask."

Johnny chuckled. "My reputation?" Dark brows rose in mock surprise, and his face contorted into a mask of mock indignation.

"Well, if ya wanted to make sure I don't get away scott free, how 'bout joining me for breakfast. Hospital cafeteria? My treat." And he offered his most charming Gage grin.

Shelby smiled in response. "Well….., I wouldn't be doing my job if I let you escape without at least hanging around long enough to thoroughly interrogate you, now would I?"

Johnny nodded in agreement. "Oh absolutely." He agreed. "I could a… handle a little interrogation. Provided of course it was accompanied by food. I'm starved."

"Besides, you look pretty beat. I might need to make sure you get home safely." Shelby continued.

A brilliant smile graced his handsome face then. Dark eyebrows rose questioningly. "Oh? You'd do that for me would you?"

Shelby winked and smiled. "Let's just see how breakfast turns out."

"Well allright!" He exclaimed and grinned broadly.

The elevator door opened and the two walked out of the car toward the hospital café.


	34. Chapter 34

**Fragile**

**Chapter 34**

"Good mornin', good mornin', good mornin'" called Johnny Gage to the men of L.A. County Fire Station 51. Johnny strolled jauntily into the day room fifteen minutes early on Wednesday morning. Whistling a happy tune, he reached to retrieve a coffee cup from the cupboard, and filled it from the pot on the stove. Turning he regarded three of his fellow crew mates as they sat enjoying coffee and Danishes.

Mike Stoker briefly glanced up from the newspaper he'd been reading. "Hey Johnny."

"Hi Johnny." Morco automatically replied before taking another bite of his baked treat.

Chet licked his fingers, his bushy eyebrows rising with surprise. "Huh, what's up Gage? You're in a pretty good mood for a guy who would have spent a bunch of time yesterday sitting around at Rampart. Ya didn't blow Roy off and go nurse hunting, did'ya?"

Johnny exhaled a noisy exasperated sigh. "Shut up Chester B!" He exclaimed while taking a seat at the table.

Placing his hand upon his chest in a gesture of heartfelt wounding, with an air of mock innocence Chet quarried. "What? Geeze Gage! What are we suppost'a think with you coming in here all chipper. You only act like this when you've had some big date the night before a shift. I was just expecting the usual tale, that's all. No need to get hostile man!"

A self satisfied grin graced Johnny's countenance as he took his coffee mug and seated himself at the table. "Well, as it happens, I didn't blow off my partner AND I did end up having a wonderful date with a very lovely young lady yesterday afternoon."

Bushy brows rose into a curly hairline then. A wicked glimmer appearing in Irish blues. "Oh? And do ya'wanna tell us all how ya managed to do both?" Chet pursued, sensing a potential score to be made on his favorite pigeon. He figured Gage wouldn't have had time or energy to troll the halls of Rampart after sitting up all night with DeSoto, and that now Johnny was likely telling one of his whopper 'fish' stories.

A full Gage grin blossomed in response, brown eyes dancing merrily. Chet had played right into his hands! Turning to face the mustached wonder Johnny offered, "Why yes I do Chet."

The other men around the table smiled gleefully at the exchange. They could tell Johnny had wanted Chet to ask, and knew the phantom had handily swallowed the hook Johnny had dangled.

Johnny then began to regale the group with meeting Shelby in the elevator, their breakfast and then afternoon exploits. It turned out, Shelby hadn't been satisfied Johnny was all right to drive, and had insisted on driving him home. After he had rested sufficiently, Johnny had called her. She had returned to take him back to Rampart to retrieve his Rover, and the pair had followed up the car ballet with a cozy dinner prepared by Shelby at her place.

By the time Johnny's story had come to an end, Chet had covered his eyes in distaste while groaning softly and offering protests of "enough, enough….." and "too much information already."

Protests were steadfastly ignored by the story teller. Johnny continued to babble on while Marco and Mike enjoyed the narrative and Chet's theatrics.

When Johnny stopped to take a self satisfied swig from his coffee Marco looked to his Irish friend with an accusatory "You had to ask, didn't you amigo? Now we'll never get him to shut up." Then he shot Johnny a small smirk and a wink which Chet never saw because he was still sitting with his hands over his eyes refusing to look up at Johnny.

Johnny laughed in response to Marco's wink, and contentedly sipped his coffee wearing a silly grin he couldn't seem to lose. The previous evening had been truly wonderful, and he refused to let anything spoil the mood.

It was into this tableau Ricky Wesley walked. "Good morning guys." He tentatively offered while approaching the stove top to acquire a cup of coffee.

A round of greetings followed, and conversation shifted to a more general tone for the few minutes the men had to visit before Cap appeared to summon them to line up for roll call.

The tedium of morning announcements and chore assignment had just commenced when the tones sang out beckoning the squad to depart for a man down call.

Johnny dashed for the driver's seat of the squad leaving Ricky to scramble into the passenger's seat. Captain Stanley acknowledged the call and passed the run slip inside to Johnny. Slapping the doorframe of the vehicle with a hand Cap sent the paramedics on their way with a stern admonishment to be careful, and the little red truck slipped from the apparatus bay with blaring siren and flashing lights warning passing cars of their presence.

Arriving on scene the rescue men of squad 51 found their man down call involved a man in his mid sixties who had been watering his flower beds and become entangled in the garden hose. The man had fallen and cracked his head on the sidewalk where he had lain unconscious until a neighbor had come home and seen him there, and called the fire department. The paramedics quickly tended to their victim, treating him and packaging him for transport.

The run was routine, though unfortunate. The victim never regained consciousness. Ricky traveled with the man in the ambulance while Johnny brought the squad in to Rampart. Once at the hospital, Johnny stowed the paramedic's gear, and went inside to re-supply.

Stepping up to the desk, Johnny chatted with Betty, the charge nurse for the day. Betty helped him acquire the necessary supplies, and he had just signed the requisition form when Ricky emerged from treatment room 4.

"How's our patient?" Johnny inquired of the young man.

Ricky shrugged dejectedly. "Never regained consciousness. Dr. Early says he has a hairline skull fracture and likely a severe concussion. Prognosis isn't very good."

Johnny shook his head sadly. "That's too bad."

Ricky sighed heavily. "Yeah."

Johnny eyed the young medic. Ricky despondency over the outcome of this run for the patient was obvious to Johnny. _"He really does seem to care about people. But man….we're gonna have to work on helping him with rule number one."_ Johnny mused.

Standing from where he'd been leaning his elbows on the countertop Johnny reached up and gently patted Ricky on the shoulder. "Happens like that sometimes man. Don't let it get to you."

"Yeah, I know." Ricky offered glumly.

"Well, tell ya what, while we're here let's run up and look in on Roy." Johnny deftly changed the subject.

Ricky reached out to take the box of supplies from Johnny. "You go on up, I'll stow this stuff in the squad."

Johnny pulled the box out of Ricky's reach. "Nah, I'll just carry it along. You don't need to go out there and sit brooding. Come up and visit with Roy. I know he'll appreciate the change of pace, having a new face to see."

Johnny headed for the elevator then, not giving Ricky a chance to reply. After a split second of indecision, Ricky shrugged his shoulders and trudged after his retreating temporary partner. He supposed Johnny had a point. It might be good to say hello to Roy anyway. Ricky had enjoyed working with Roy, and couldn't help but remember Roy letting him deliver that baby on a day when the shift they'd worked together had dealt Ricky a couple of tough ego blows.

When Johnny and Ricky entered Roy's hospital room they found Roy chatting with a plump sixtyish woman with a friendly face and silver hair. Recognizing Emma Harrison, Roy's next door neighbor, Johnny stepped up to her and draped an arm over her shoulder in a warm side hug.

"Well hello there Mrs. Harrison. How'd Roy rate one of the prettiest women in L.A. County sitting with him today?" Johnny flirted, an impish Gage grin slipping onto his face.

Emma Harrison swatted a hand playfully at the handsome paramedic. "Oh Johnny, you are such a charmer." Her cherubic cheeks pinked with a light blush while she spoke.

"Not at all." Johnny responded. "I just recognize truly lovely women when I see them."

The older women giggled in response to Johnny's flirting. "Hey there now, my husband wouldn't appreciate your flirting with me young man."

Placing a hand upon his heart, Johnny sighed heavily. "Alas, the good ones are always taken."

Observing the interaction, Ricky couldn't help but join in the shared moment of mirth as everyone in the room enjoyed a quiet moment of laughter. He had to admit, Johnny Gage had a way with women of all ages.

"Hey partner." Roy greeted Johnny with a genuine smile. "You goldbricking on the job?"

Johnny glanced up to look at Roy. Dark brows rose in surprise and he remarked innocently, "Moi? Goldbricking? Partner! I wouldn't have any idea what you mean. I…." and he again placed his palm upon his own chest, "just came by to check up on you. I've got to make sure you aren't giving these people too many problems."

"Oh, he's behaved himself pretty well." Mrs. Harrison offered while gently patting Roy's hand.

Roy looked from Johnny to Ricky. "Hey Ricky, looks like you drew Johnny again."

Ricky stepped forward smiling at Roy. "Yup, it's not quite like working with you, but I guess he'll do." With this remark, Ricky turned and surreptitiously winked at Johnny.

Johnny grinned back at the other medic. "You bet working with me isn't like working with Roy. I'm way easier to get along with." He offered somewhat haughtily.

Roy laughed, and then groaned because laughing jarred his ribs.

Mrs. Harrison turned to regard Roy, and patted his hand gently. "Take it easy there young man. You don't need to be upsetting those broken ribs now." She kindly warned.

Roy nodded affirmatively. "Yeah, ya got that right." He answered when the wave of pain had sufficiently receded.

"How're ya doin' today partner?" Johnny quarried walking over to stand next to the bedside.

Roy looked up at Johnny and offered a small shrug of his shoulders. "Better I guess." Raising his hands he bent his wrists ever so slightly. "Wrists are feeling better for sure. I can even hold a fork now.

"Yeah well, don't go rushin' things." Johnny gently chided.

Roy pressed his lips together in annoyance, followed by a silent question offered with raised eyebrows.

Johnny grinned. How could he not? This was Roy's way of pointing out Johnny was the one telling Roy to follow doctor's orders when Johnny was famous for doing exactly the opposite.

Johnny raised both hands in a sign of silent surrender, laughing softly. "Yeah, yeah….I got it Pally. Just tryin' to make sure you aren't tryin' to rush your recovery is all I'm doin'."

Roy grinned. "Uh huh. I know exactly what you were doin'."

Johnny taunting Roy about following doctor's orders! Roy shook his head in amazement. It just wasn't to be believed, or tolerated.

In an effort to prove to Johnny that the tables could turn both ways, Roy refused to let Johnny get the last word. In addition, Roy was now beginning to realize he would likely be spending several shifts away from his partner, and Ricky was probably going to be covering those shifts. This might be Roy's only chance to make sure Ricky would be certain to watch out for Johnny.

Roy turned to Ricky. "So, Ricky, are you lookin' out for my partner?"

Ricky was a little surprised by the question. "Um….yes?" He replied furtively, the insecurity he felt creeping into the answer.

Studying Ricky, Roy realized the younger medic hadn't fully grasped the meaning of his question.

"Ya know, Johnny here sometimes ends up gettin' into trouble because he over does it on a rescue," Roy began.

Johnny put his hands on his hips and turned to directly face Roy, interfering with Ricky and Roy's line of site contact.

Roy leaned over slightly to look around Johnny, again making eye contact with Ricky before continuing to speak."… and he might…um….forget to mention when he could use some medical attention."

Johnny cleared his throat and began to back away from Roy, directly toward Ricky. "Well partner, we gotta get back to work." Johnny said, attempting to interrupt Roy.

But Roy peered around Johnny on the other side and continued to speak. "You sometimes gotta watch out for him like that….and by this I mean you have to nail him on it because he won't usually volunteer the information."

Now Ricky understood what was going on. Roy was trying to instruct him on how to have Johnny's back. It was as if Roy was passing the baton to Ricky in the relay race of partners.

Ricky reached up and rested a hand on the retreating Johnny's shoulder halting the other man's backward walk.

Smiling brightly Ricky's green eyes met and held Roy's blue ones. "Ah, I see. Thanks for the information Roy. I'll take care of him." He offered.

Johnny turned to meet Ricky's gaze, and then he turned his eyes back to Roy's. Glaring at Roy, Johnny made a slicing motion across his neck with a hand to hopefully cut Roy's word storm off.

"If he gives you any lip Ricky, just let Cap know you're concerned. He'll back you up." Roy finished before flashing Johnny a triumphant grin.

"Ya know Roy, we gotta run. You take care, and be good for the nurses." Johnny said, this time turning and beginning to head toward the door.

Ricky took the opportunity to step closer to Roy. Green and blue eyes met, and a message was exchanged between the two men. "I'll take care of him while you're out Roy. Count on it." Ricky said before reaching out to offer the man a solid reassuring pat to the shoulder. "You take care of yourself. We'll drop by again on our next run." And the young medic smiled warmly again before turning on his heel to follow Johnny out the door.

Few words were spoken between Ricky and Johnny as they made their way back to the squad. Johnny efficiently stowed the medical supplies he'd been carrying while Ricky climbed into the passenger side of the cab. After securing the side compartment door, Johnny slid behind the wheel and fit the key into the squad's ignition.

The pair rode out of the hospital parking lot in silence. After they turned onto the street behind Rampart, Ricky ventured a peek at Johnny. Gage wore a mask of non-emotion as he apparently concentrated on driving; the only discernible action belying emotion or cogitation being a single deep sigh. Ricky wordlessly considered as he rode exactly what Roy had been attempting to tell him about Johnny. Roy's concern for Johnny was obvious, and Ricky couldn't help but wonder exactly how justified the worry might be, Was Roy just being over protective? Or, was Johnny one of those tough guys who concealed injury with a false bravado designed to cover weakness.

Johnny now wished he had let Ricky take the supplies out to the squad instead of dragging him up to Roy's room. But, it simply hadn't occurred to Johnny that Roy would be petty enough to attempt getting his licks in about Johnny with Ricky. _"I am after all a grown man, and perfectly capable of taking care of myself."_ Johnny brooded.

Johnny sighed heavily with his train of thought continuing to chug onward while he drove. _"Just what I need is for this rookie medic to think he's gonna have to be watchin' out for me. And thanks a lot Roy! Telling him he could tattle to cap. Geeze!"_

The protracted lull in conversation weighed heavily on Ricky after a few minutes and he cleared his throat to get Johnny's attention. "So, uh…. Are you angry with me, or Roy?"

"_Perceptive little bugger, isn't he."_ Johnny mused. "Nope, not angry with either of ya." O.K., it was an evasion, but Johnny didn't feel like jumping from the frying pan right into the fire as it were. He'd just left Roy abruptly to avoid discussing this very topic, and had no real desire to talk about it now with Ricky.

Ricky raised an eyebrow, now fully looking at Johnny. "Oh? Then why the silent treatment?"

Johnny chanced a quick glance at Ricky. Glimpsing the other man's solemn expression, Johnny responded with another deep sigh. Some explanation was going to have to be made. There was no avoiding such a direct question by what now seemed to be a very serious man. Johnny took a deep breath, and throwing caution to the wind dove in. "Look Ricky, Roy's a bit of a mother hen, if ya know what I mean. But, just 'cause he's laid up doesn't mean ya need to feel like you should fill his boots by pecking me to death about every little thing."

Ricky smiled warily at Johnny. "He seemed pretty concerned." He lead, hoping Johnny might elaborate so that it would become apparent whether there might be justification for Roy's apprehension.

Again Johnny snatched a quick look at Ricky. "He does that man. Roy's a care taker. I mean, you worked with him one shift. I'm bettin' if you thought about it, you'd realize how he hovered even with you."

Ricky did take a few moments to consider Roy's behavior in the shift they had shared. Yes, Roy had been an attentive partner. But, in retrospect Ricky had realized it was fortunate Roy had been watching out for him. Ricky realized it was highly likely he needed looking out for in his inexperienced state.

"Ya know Johnny, Roy _is_ a good man for watching his partner's back. I think after working with him, I learned how valuable that is as a character trait for a partner. I believe I'm going to take his advice. So…" and Ricky reached over and clapped a firm hand on Johnny's right shoulder. "…don't worry man, I'll have your back. Wouldn't want to disappoint Roy, now would I?"

Johnny had brought the squad to a stop in preparation to back into the apparatus bay of station 51, and he turned to regard Ricky. An involuntary eye roll escaped him before he replied. "Well thanks Ricky. I feel so much better knowing Roy was able to recruit yet one more spy!"

Ricky chuckled good naturedly. "Yes, alas 'tis true. We've got you surrounded!" He offered in a mock sinister tone.

"Oh ha ha, another comedian. Just what I need! You and Chet should end up being best buddies!" Johnny grumbled while sliding out of the squad and slamming the door behind him.

Chet who had been polishing a nozzle while seated on the running board of Big Red, hearing his name perked up. Looking up at Ricky he raised questioning brows. "What was that all about?"

Ricky grinned, and glanced after Johnny's retreating back. "Oh, nothin' Chet. Johnny and I were just talking about how partners need to look out for one another.

"Oh yeah? Well, that's true anywhere I guess. But when you're Gage's partner, it pays to be double careful when it comes to lookin' out. I tell ya, the guy seems to be a disaster magnet." Chet quipped.

"Ya don't say." Ricky responded noncommittally. "Well, I'll keep my eye on him then." And Ricky trotted off to the day room pondering the food for thought he'd now been offered by two separate individuals.

Not having a regular partner of his own, Ricky had only untested ideas of the inner workings and nuances of such a relationship. Having been a fireman for about eighteen months, he of course was familiar with the brotherhood the fire service offered, and the obligations such a fraternal group imposed. But now, Ricky was beginning to get the idea he would have an intimate opportunity for education about the mutual caretaking involved in partnership from what seemed to be an impending extended tour at 51's.

The Gage and DeSoto partnership was almost legendary within the LACoFD. Being charged with the care of half of that duo by the other man in the pair was a heavy responsibility. Ricky couldn't help but wonder if he was up to the task. Remembering the kindness of Roy in the day they had worked together, Ricky decided he would do his best. After all, he couldn't let Roy down.

Ricky took a last deep breath, exhaled it and squared his shoulders before stepping into the day room. He was anxious about assuming the responsibilities Roy seemed to have entrusted to him, but somehow excited too. Would his perceptual skills be up to the challenge? And, if he was watching Johnny Gage's back, would this mean Gage would also be scrutinizing and caring for him too?

The time for consideration was abruptly ended for Ricky when unexpectedly tones began to sing through the station. The parade of sound continued to echo from every wall in the apparatus bay even after all but the Captain were seated in their vehicles ready for departure. When the klaxon finally heralded the end of the line dispatch warned the men they'd be attending a hazardous chemical spill and explosion at processing plant in a neighboring response area.

The call slip was handed over, Cap mounted Big Red and the men of L.A. County Fire Station 51 rapidly departed with flashing red's ablaze, and siren's moaning out the warning of a potentially lifesaving mission in progress.


	35. Chapter 35

**Authors Note: **I know, I know….some of you out there thought I had forgotten this story. Nope, I haven't. Real life has been very interesting, and I am also discovering story endings are tough. This story is indeed nearing its conclusion, and I find putting together all those loose ends is somewhat tedious. I still want to keep things interesting and exciting, even if some of the tasks required would be considered basic housekeeping for the story. We are within three or four chapters of finishing this one up, and I suppose after having so much fun writing it, I'm feeling a bit sad to see it finding an end.

I hope the lengthy hiatus hasn't lost those of you who have been taking this ride with me. Thanks for hanging in there, and please let me know how you are feeling about the piece. Feedback is very motivational.

**Fragile**

**Chapter 35**

When the two vehicles from station 51 got within a half mile of the processing plant, Johnny could easily see a large column of thick black smoke being belched into the crystal clear blue sky above the facility.

"We've got a worker." He vocalized his thoughts for his partner.

"Yeah, no kiddin'! Looks pretty bad." Ricky responded.

Though the radio traffic had been constant while the men of station 51 approached the scene, it was informational, and served only as steady background noise. But, a call to the squad immediately garnered the paramedic's attention. "Squad 51, make the hydrant on the corner of Freemont. We'll be laying duels." Captain's Stanley's disembodied voice ordered.

Ricky snatched up the handset and replied; "10-4."

Rounding the turn onto Freemont, Johnny pulled the squad over to stop near the hydrant. Engine 51 zipped around and stopped just ahead of them. Johnny and Ricky hopped out of their vehicle, and dashed over to the engine to pull hose. After draping the large hoses around the hydrant and standing on them, the engine was waved away. Mike pulled off toward the fire, trailing the duel hoses behind him.

Johnny and Ricky made short work of connecting the hoses to the hydrant, and when Mike signaled he was ready for the water, Johnny opened the hydrant valve. The two paramedics jumped back into their vehicle, and sped toward the blaze.

As they got closer, 51's paramedics saw a well involved large warehouse with heavy smoke pouring from the few available windows. Blistering gusts of fire flicked through thick clouds of smoke erupting out of both the windows and roof. Near the warehouse, a slightly smaller building was visible. Giant sheets of flame shot skyward atop the second structure though no smoke was showing from the interior of the second edifice, at least not yet. Smoke wafted toward the arriving firemen bringing with it the heavy stench of what smelled like burning plastic. Two snorkel trucks and a ladder truck poured water upon the burning roof of the second building. A sea of fire vehicles surrounded the two buildings, and the ground which was crisscrossed with thick fire hoses seemed to crawl with men in turn out gear.

Johnny parked the squad beside engine 51, and both medics exited the vehicle in search of Captain Stanley. They didn't have to look long as Cap came around the front of the engine while they approached.

"Hey Cap, what have we got?" Johnny questioned.

"The company makes various containers from polystyrene foam. The fire started in the warehouse where they store finished product. Welding slag from maintenance work somehow ended up in a stack of containers. It took a while for the smoldering slag to ignite the polystyrene, but when it did the stuff took off. The warehouse is fully involved, but thankfully safely evacuated. The problem is, the rooftop and facing wall of the other building where they manufacture the containers is burning from exposure. They use normal pentane for the primary blowing agent in processing the polystyrene foam. It's gonna be close getting the manufacturing building contained and protecting those normal pentane lines. If they go….."

Johnny and Ricky nodded agreement in unison. "It could be a bad scene." Johnny finished for his Captain. "Where do ya need us?"

"We've got a couple of security guards with some minor burns and smoke inhalation over by Engine 116. Get on over there and take care of them, then set up a triage and aid station for anyone else injured." Stanley ordered before turning to head back to the incident commander.

Johnny and Ricky turned to the squad and hastily extracted the equipment they figured they'd need. Efficiently the two medics carted everything over toward engine 116 where they found two soot covered coughing men already sitting beside the large apparatus. Oxygen masks were being held to the two men's faces by the victims themselves while one of the linemen from 116's watched over them. The two medics took over care of the smoke inhalations victims, released the man from 116's to return to fighting the fire, and began to set out equipment in preparation for receiving any injured sent their way.

As they worked obtaining vitals from their two patients, Ricky noticed Johnny occasionally glancing longingly in the direction of the active fire scene. The excitement of the surroundings and invitation to battle the beast going unanswered were represented by an alert active energy that spoke of frustration and truncated action in the rescue man's every movement. Ricky could see Johnny was one of those firemen who truly enjoyed the game of extinguishing a fire. Ricky nodded in sympathy. Johnny would love to be freed of the mundane chores involved in treating two easy patients, instead preferring to dive head first into the adrenaline high that was battling the raging flames.

The building on the west side of the complex where polystyrene product was reported to be stored burned furiously. Gigantic walls of fire shot thirty feet into the air, with rolling clouds of thick black smoke streaming upward and spreading to the north, swept along by a gentle breeze from the south. The acrid odor of fumes from the massive blaze filled the area with a reeking stench that Ricky was positive attending firefighters would smell of for days, even after showering.

The paramedics had set up allowing over fifty feet of distance between the triage area and the involved structure, yet heat emanating from the inferno reached out and hammered them. It felt to Ricky almost as if they'd decided to treat patients right beside a ceramics kiln well into a firing cycle. Ricky swiped at his sweating forehead with the back of his hand before returning his concentration to the man he'd been treating.

As if in answer to some silent prayer from Johnny, the handy talkie in his pocket called for attention. "Squad 51, we have a code I. One of you grab your SCBA and report to the west side of the processing building."

Johnny simultaneously reached for the radio in his turnout pocket and shot to his feet. Glancing down at Ricky, Johnny said; "I got this. You take care of these guys." Without waiting for a reply, Johnny turned and darted for the squad to throw on his SCBA, and head for the code I.

Ricky shook his head in silent amused amazement. '_That guy is one eager beaver…._._and he sure didn't waste any time jumping in to the action. I hope he's careful. I wouldn't want to have to explain to Roy how his partner managed to run off and get hurt on my very first full shift with Johnny.'_ He considered, before turning his attention back to the two men he was tending.

After slipping on his SCBA, Johnny snatched the extra drug box from the squad, and jogged toward the west side of the processing building. Arriving just before he would have to step between the two structures, Johnny found Hank Stanly waiting for his appearance.

"What's the story Cap?"

At the sound of the paramedic's inquiry, Stanley turned to acknowledge his man. "One of the linemen from 116's is trapped under some fallen debris just inside the processing facility. They were working on the inside of the structure to clear and cool down the exposed west wall.. One of those big metal storage shelves buckled from the heat and fell. Get on in there and help out. I'll send someone back to the squad to get a stokes. I've already asked LA for an ambulance; it's on the way."

Johnny nodded in agreement while donning his facemask. "I'm on it Cap." And he jogged toward the building.

The area between the fully involved storage facility and the smoldering processing plant was scorching. The intense temperature of the blaze consuming the warehouse was so powerful that the walls on the east side of that building were beginning to droop in rippled waves of yielding metal. Stepping into the area between the two structures felt like walking into a blast furnace set on high. The powerful heat caused the air within the confined space to seem to shimmer and dance in the sunlight that penetrated through heavily hanging clouds of dense black smoke. Sheets of water falling from the overhead water cannons dousing both rooftops only offered marginal cooling. Most of the water droplets met the solid wall of heat, and formed steam well before they were able to fall to pavement that was nearly dry underfoot. Men on the ground directing torrents of water at the fully involved structure added only to the rising steam and humidity, with the water's cooling potential seemingly wasted on the angry superheated walls of the structure. A couple of linemen were also directing a spray designed to protect the outside exposure of the factory. But the intense heat in the confined space between the two structures caused that water to quickly convert into steam only adding to the misery of anyone trapped within the small area.

Johnny dashed through the large open door of the production facility to find the injured fireman he'd been sent to rescue. Once inside, he saw two other men in turnouts vainly attempting to heave a large warehouse style shelving unit off of the downed man. Hastily Johnny made his way over to the group, dropped his drug box and added his strength to the lifting effort. Between the three men, the weight of the shelving unit began to yield. Johnny squatted, and used the power of his legs to increase his lifting, and the trapped man's leg was finally free.

Running footsteps could be heard behind the group, and then strong hands from a fourth fireman grabbed the injured man under the arms and hastily dragged him from under the metal beams that had been pinning him. Johnny along with the other men attempted to hold the heavy metal up long enough for the victim to be freed. Just as the guys last foot cleared the entrapment, one of the other men lost his grasp on the debris. Johnny and the other man who had been holding it struggled not to let the mass fall onto their victim. Johnny caught part of the falling metal beam on his thigh.

"Shit! That's hot!" Johnny yelped when the fire warmed material came into contact with his slacks. "Grab hold and get this thing up a little so we can all three put it down together"

The two other firemen renewed their grip, and between the three able firefighters they hoisted the metal away from Johnny's thigh. Then together, all three men gently lowered the structure to the floor.

After letting go of the hunk of heavy melted shelving, Johnny hastily turned to get a look at his patient. Chet Kelly, as it turned out, had been the running man they'd heard entering the building. Chet now squatted on the floor, holding the injured man's upper body in a sitting position. Johnny knelt and quickly examined the fallen fellow. Gently palpating both legs, Johnny determined the man likely had a simple fracture of the left fibula.

"Come on guys, let's get him in the stokes." Johnny ordered. "It's way too dangerous in here to treat him…..careful with that left leg. Looks like it's broken."

Four men, including Johnny, gently lifted the injured man into the waiting stokes. Johnny snatched up the drug box while Chet and one of the other guys carried the stokes from the factory. The other firefighter picked up his abandoned hose, and continued the job he had been doing before the collapse while Johnny trotted out of the building beside the injured man.

When they reached the triage area, Ricky was bandaging an injured firefighter's burned hand. The two smoke inhalation victims had been removed to Rampart, and Ricky had spread a clean yellow blanket on the pavement to receive the injured victim.

Gently the stokes was laid onto the tarp. Johnny lowered himself to his knees beside his patient, and flipping open the drug box he carried he withdrew a stethoscope and BP cuff to begin taking vitals. Ricky opened a line to Rampart, and together the two paramedics began to assess and report their patient's condition while Chet and the other firefighter from 116's dashed back into the active fire scene to resume the battle.

The patient's leg was splinted, an I.V. was started and MS was administered. The ambulance arrived, and in final preparations for transport Johnny began to clean up some minor lacerations on the victim's upper leg, hands and face. Gently Johnny cleaned the wounds on the victim's face and hands using a couple of four-by-fours. When he was satisfied with his efforts and ready to clean up the thigh wound, Johnny rummaged through the drug box beside him in search of more 4x4s. Finding none, he turned to Ricky extending a hand, "Hand me a couple of fresh 4x4's, would ya?"

Obligingly Ricky fished in the trauma box and came up with the requested materials. After thoughtfully unwrapping one, Ricky reached out to hand it over to Johnny. Just then a gust of wind caught the clean bandage Ricky held delicately between two fingers, and flicked it from his grasp. The wayward dressing landed on Johnny's leg. Johnny reached for the 4x4 from his leg tossing Ricky a small grin.

"I got it."

Ricky smiled his thanks, and began to open the next package in preparation to hand it over.

Johnny looked down at the white square in his hands and noticed it had a large smear of blood on it. Turning to Ricky he quarried, "Hey, why'd ya hand me a used one. I need sterile material for bandaging these wounds. I've already cleaned them."

Ricky's green eyes registered confusion. "It was clean."

Johnny held the soiled 4x4 up for Ricky's inspection. "Does that look clean to you?"

Sure enough, the previously sparkling white bandage was smeared with blood.

Ricky knew he'd just opened the wrapper, and the contents had been clean. He reached over and picked up the empty package. It was clean. '_That's weird.'_ But then Ricky remembered the fresh dressing fluttering from his fingers and landing on Johnny's leg. Glancing down Ricky noticed a rip in the thigh of Johnny's uniform pants, and a substantial amount of blood.

Johnny shook his head in frustration, and then snatched the new clean dressing from Ricky's hand to begin work on the upper leg laceration of their patient.

Ricky prepared more dressings and tape assisting Johnny while he finished bandaging the wounds of their victim. When the Mayfair men had lifted the stokes onto their gurney, Ricky laid a hand on Johnny's shoulder to get the other medic's attention.

Johnny paused in his progression toward the ambulance to turn and look at Ricky. "What?"

"Uh Johnny, what happened to your leg?" Ricky softly inquired, and then let his gaze travel down to the tear in Johnny's pants.

Johnny's eyes followed Ricky's downward until he too spotted the rip in his pant leg.  
>"Huh, guess I cut it or something when I caught part of that debris. Doesn't really hurt."<p>

"How about you let me take a look at it." Ricky suggested, while reaching for his sheers.

A deep sigh escaped Johnny. Pressing his lips together with an exasperated expression, Johnny reached down and opened the tear in his pant leg gently with his fingers. Hiking that leg up, he rested his foot on the tailboard of the ambulance. _"Well damn, that's just great."_ He thought when his eyes took in the spectacle of a bleeding slice in his leg. "It's not that bad Ricky."

Without waiting for permission Ricky reached over with his scissors and extended the opening in the leg of Johnny's uniform pants. "Let's have a look."

Efficiently Ricky whipped some fresh dressings and saline from the drug box and began to expertly clean and examine the wound. "I don't know Johnny. Might take a few stitches there. Looks pretty deep."

Johnny sighed again and rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, it doesn't hurt. I'll get someone at Rampart to have a look at it when we get there."

"Let me dress that for you, and I'll report it to Cap before I leave." Ricky offered though he didn't seem to wait for permission as he began to cover the wound with a fresh bandage even while he was speaking.

Johnny looked on with a combination of irritation and amusement. The kid was going to turn out to be a good medic. He was attentive and certainly assertive enough.

"I tell ya, Roy's good. You haven't even known him very long and he's already got you doing his bidding by remote control." Johnny grumbled while Ricky proceeded.

Ricky chuckled while finishing up his task. "Hey there partner, I'm just watching your back. I'd expect no less from you if the occasion arose." Ricky's green eyes peered up to meet Johnny's gaze, and the flicker of amusement in both men's eyes was unmistakable.

Johnny relented with a chuckle. "Good point. I'll see you at Rampart." And Johnny turned and climbed into the back of the ambulance.

Ricky closed the back doors of the Mayfair rig and gave them a couple of slaps. Shaking his head he snickered to himself. It felt good to be part of this team. Ricky hoped someday he'd end up with a partner as personable, professional and absolutely human as either Johnny Gage or Roy DeSoto.


	36. Chapter 36

**Fragile**

**Chapter 36**

Following Ricky and Johnny's departure from Roy's hospital room, the morning progressed for Roy with comfortable visitation with his Mrs. Harrison. When Dr. Brackett and a nurse appeared for morning rounds, the kindly neighbor discreetly disappeared allowing the physician time to first examine Roy, and then remove Roy's chest tube. When the procedure was complete, Dr. Brackett said his fair well leaving Roy to rest.

Relieved to no longer have to deal with the encumbrance of the chest tube, Roy was relaxing in bed when a tentative knock came upon his room door.

"Come in?"

Ricky eased the door open slowly peeking inside. 'Hey Roy, I hope I didn't wake you."

Roy smiled welcomingly at the young medic. "Hey Ricky. Nope. Just relaxing. Doc just left actually."

"Ah, good news I hope?" Ricky walked over and stood beside Roy's bed.

"Must be, he removed the chest tube." Roy remarked while looking over Ricky's shoulder wondering where Johnny was.

Noticing Roy's curiosity, Ricky smiled comfortingly at Roy. "Uh, Johnny'll be up in a few minutes. He's downstairs in treatment two with Dr. Morton."

Roy's eyebrows went up immediately. Warily he inquired. "What happened?"

Ricky reached out and placed a grounding hand on Roy's shoulder. "It's nothing serious. Johnny got a small laceration on his thigh. I'm sure they'll patch him up and he'll be right back on duty."

Roy exhaled a long sigh. "How'd it happen?"

"I'm really not sure; something to do with an extrication of a fellow fire fighter. I'd guess some debris fell on him." Ricky smiled. He could guess what was coming next. "No, he didn't fess up. When I spotted the rip in his slacks, Johnny seemed to have not really noticed he was injured. I guess the adrenaline high masked the pain."

Roy closed his eyes and shook his head allowing another sigh to escape.

Ricky patted Roy's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry about it Roy. I'll have Johnny's back until you're back out there."

Roy looked at the young medic. "I appreciate it Ricky."

At that moment Johnny strolled into the room. "Hi'ya partner."

"Hi yourself."

Johnny stopped in his tracks. "What?'

"What did Morton say about your leg?" Roy skipped the pleasantries and cut to the chase.

Johnny glanced down at his torn trousers and then with a shrug of his shoulders he met Roy's penetrating gaze.. "Eh, just a superficial laceration. Didn't even take any stitches, just a couple of butterflies." Johnny threw an irritated glare Ricky's direction then as if to say 'you told!'

Ricky offered a small grin, and gently shrugged his own shoulders; his silent reply of 'just doin' my job.' Sent to Johnny without an uttered syllable.

Turning to again regard Roy, Johnny deftly changed the subject. "How're ya doin' partner? I passed Doc Brackett when I was getting' on the elevator. He said he'd just come from seeing you."

Roy's eyes narrowed with irritation. Ignoring Johnny's deflection Roy pursued his original question. "I'm fine partner. Now, how'd you end up messing up your leg?"

Johnny briefly glanced down at his now bandaged appendage, and then raised his eyes to again meet Roy's gaze. "Ah, no big deal really. I caught some debris with my leg. It was such a non event, I didn't even notice it until Ricky here pointed it out. I'm fine Roy. Really. Stop worrying about me. You've obviously trained Ricky well. He's getting 'mother hen' down to a fine art, thanks no doubt to you."

Roy's lips formed a grim grin, and he shook his head from side to side slowly. The nod of disbelief paired itself with silent grumbling thoughts. _'Glad someone is looking out for you Junior. You certainly seem to forget to take care of yourself often enough.'_

Ricky smiled with pleasure, ducking his head slightly as a gentle tinge of pink colored his face.

Johnny put both hands on his hips and adopted an irritated facial expression. Eying both Ricky and Roy with deliberate slowness, Johnny allowed an exasperated loud sigh to escape. "Honestly! I do fine without either of you." Then, pointedly staring at Roy, Johnny continued. "Spend your energy on getting yourself better Mother dear."

Roy chuckled good-naturedly causing himself to wince and catch his breath from the stabbing reminder of broken ribs.

Ricky leaned in again placing a hand on Roy's shoulder. "Take it easy there Roy. Those broken ribs aren't gonna take kindly to so much movement just yet."

In Ricky's defense, he couldn't help what he'd instinctively said or done just then. Ricky was by nature a care taker, and Roy's kindness to him when they'd worked together coupled with Roy's apparent concern for Johnny who Ricky had begun to admire and trust had developed for Ricky some investment in this pair of men. It was only natural for Ricky to reach out to comfort and remind Roy.

Now Johnny snorted a quick laugh while Roy blushed. Johnny took a moment to enjoy Roy's discomfort at being handled so expertly by this young medic.

After first a quick glance at Ricky, Roy's amused and somewhat sheepish stare fixed again on Johnny. "Huh…. On second thought, I may have created a monster."

"Monster?" Ricky harrumphed with mock indignation. "I beg your pardon!"

Johnny grinned wickedly and stepped over to put a hand on Ricky's shoulder. "Yeah, a monster." And then glancing back at Roy, Johnny continued, "Lucky for you partner you've turned him loose on me for the time being. But uh….. your chickens will come home to roost some day; count on it. If we've figured nothin' else out these last couple of weeks, for sure we are learnin' any one of us could end up being the guy looking _up_ at the paramedic. Safety and control are fragile. Remember?"

Roy grinned, but couldn't avoid an involuntary shudder. Yes, Johnny was right. Life did seem to be insisting consideration of one's personal control issues might be prudent. "Yeah, well having a well trained observant partner might be lucky for you too Johnny."

"Might be, never know." Johnny agreed offering one of those mega-watt Gage smiles. "We gotta get back to the barn Roy. See ya on our next trip to Rampart."

The men said their fair wells, and the uniformed paramedics exited Roy's hospital room leaving the patient to rest and concentrate on recovering.

Ricky walked silently down the hospital corridor with Johnny until the two stopped to wait for the elevator to arrive. After reaching down to push the 'down' button, Ricky's piercing green eyes regarded Johnny. "So, ah…you guys think you've trained me to look out for the other guy, do ya?"

Johnny grinned. "Hey, we were just giving one another a hard time, and you got pulled into it. But, now that ya mention it, I sort'a do suspect you are a Roy spy. He does that with people."

The elevator arrived and Ricky walked inside with Johnny in tow. Turning to face Johnny, Ricky continued their conversation. "Like I said before, Roy is a good guy who does know how to have his partner's back. But, no….I'm not a Roy spy. It's just, well ya know I've not been assigned a regular partner yet. But I have subbed around the battalion quite a bit since I finished the paramedic training, and I've had a fair chance to observe people in partnerships. I gotta tell ya Johnny, what you and Roy have is something special. I wouldn't mind partnering with either of you. You know how to watch out for one another, or whoever happens to be your partner du jure. I could do worse than learning how it's supposed to work from a pair like you guys."

Johnny graced Ricky with a genuine smile. "Yeah, you're right about that one. I've subbed a bit too. Most guys are all right to work with, but Roy is better'n all right. He's the best. But sometimes, ya' know, when you are close to someone like Roy and I are…. Well, let's just say we get on each other's nerves occasionally. He _is _pretty overprotective of me, and I guess…well I probably give him cause often enough. But it can wear on a guy sometimes. Still, I guess I do the same thing to him in my own way. It's hard to fault your best friend for caring what happens ta ya, even if it makes me want to strangle him sometimes. And I'm pretty sure I drive him nuts pretty much in the same ways he drives me nuts." Johnny shook his head, a small bemused grin claiming his features.

Ricky nodded responsively while carefully watching the other man's expression. _'I should be so lucky some day.'_ He mused.

The elevator opened revealing the hallway of Rampart's Emergency ward. Glancing down the corridor, Johnny caught a glimpse of Bob Bellingham and Craig Brice dressed In civvies exiting exam room 2. Nudging Ricky with the back of his hand, Johnny gestured with his head toward the other two men. "Now, if you want to talk about partnerships, here are two guys you've just gotta meet. An odd couple if I ever saw one. Come on."

Without waiting for Ricky's reply, Johnny loped from the elevator toward the duo calling ahead to the pair of men. "Hey Brice, Bellingham! Wait up."

Hearing Johnny's call, Bob Bellingham placed a large hand on Craig Brice's right shoulder to get his partner's attention. Both men paused in their trek, and turned to greet the uniformed twosome approaching.

Brice still wore his arm in a brace, and the cast he'd had in the hospital. He was dressed in soft comfortable clothing, a casual appearance Johnny wasn't quite used to seeing on Brice. Peering into the other man's eyes, Johnny could tell Brice was likely still on some pretty substantial analgesics. He seemed rather sluggish to respond, and carried an air of disorientation.

Johnny extended his hand to shake Brice's. With somewhat glassy eyes now focusing on Johnny, the other man automatically shook the offered hand.

"Hiya Brice. How are you feelin'?" Johnny brightly quarried.

"I am improving Gage. You seem to have improved as well since I last saw you." Brice responded.

The words were concise, as always. It was the delivery that was off. Johnny directed a questioning gaze to Bob.

Bellingham grinned. "Yeah, he's still medicated pretty well. I brought him in for a follow up visit with Dr. Brackett. He's only been out of the hospital for a couple of days."

Johnny nodded affirmatively. "Ah, that explains it. What'd the Doc say?"

"It'll likely be another six to eight weeks before he's back on the job." Bellingham answered while glancing over to Craig whose attention seemed to have wandered. "I'd better get him back to the house. He's pretty out of it."

Johnny chuckled. "Boy, do I know how he's feeling!"

Then turning to gesture toward Ricky, Johnny offered, "Hey, let me introduce you to my temporary partner. This is Ricky Wesley. He's a new medic. Hasn't been assigned a permanent station yet. Maybe you two will get a chance to work together some while Brice is out."

Bob reached a big paw out and engulfed Ricky's offered hand. "Pleased ta meet ya Ricky. I'm Bob Bellingham. This here is my regular partner Craig Brice."

Hearing his name, Brice turned to look at Ricky. "Oh, hello. I'm Craig Brice. Who are you?"

Ricky smiled warmly, offering his outstretched hand to Brice. "I'm Ricky Wesley."

"Oh, hello. You must be partnered with Gage while DeSoto is out." Brice's speech was somewhat slurred.

"That I am Craig. You look like you might be a little tired. What's say we save the getting' to know one another for a different day. Why don't we let your partner get you home." Ricky released Brice's hand and looked hopefully in Bellingham's direction.

Bob and Johnny chuckled softly.

"Yes, I believe I need to lie down." Brice acknowledged, not even bothering to admonish Ricky for addressing him by his first name.

"You take care Brice. If ya need anything, give me or one of the guys a call." Johnny said giving the other man a small pat on the shoulder.

Steering Brice gently with a large hand on an uninjured upper arm then, Bob turned him in the direction of the exit. "Good ta meet ya Ricky. See ya 'round Johnny. I'm gonna get this guy out of here." And with that, the two men walked away.

Ricky grinned at Johnny. "So, what's the story with those guys?"

Johnny's face took on a mischievous look. "Oh, there are LOTS of stories there. Come on, I'll share some of them with ya while we head back to the station. I can tell ya, Brice is the last guy who was my temporary partner while Roy was out for a few shifts."

Ricky stopped walking, and stared at Johnny. "Oh? Is that what I can look forward to when partnering with you? Ending up in Rampart?"

Johnny snickered wickedly. "Ya never know….."


	37. Chapter 37

**Fragile**

**Chapter 37**

Ricky and Johnny strolled through the ambulance bay doors chatting amiably as they headed for the waiting squad. Engrossed in their conversation, neither man noticed the approach of a voluptuous blond dressed in a nurse's uniform sans cap.

Shelby had promised to cover the second half of Carol Hendrick's shift in the ER, and while making her way into the building she looked up to see two men in fire department blues exiting Rampart through the Emergency drop off area. Hastily Shelby gave each man the visual inspection. Both were brunette, slim and handsome. Her eyes lingered on the second fellow as her ears detected a familiar chortle and she recognized Johnny Gage. Obviously neither man had noticed her advancing toward them.

In a lascivious Mae West drawl Shelby called softly to the oncoming men. "Well hello boys. Mmmm mmmm, I do love a man in uniform and two is even better 'n one." She offered a flirtatious wink and licentious leer to the paramedics.

Immediately yanked from conversation, both men stopped mid stride and turned surprised attention toward the alluring greeting.

Ricky's face reflected only astonished surprise. Johnny's face broke into an inviting smile.

"Well hello there gorgeous!" Johnny was delighted to unexpectedly run in to Shelby. "I thought you were off today?"

Blue twinkling eyes regarded Johnny then. "I was, but Carol had something she needed to do this afternoon, and I agreed to fill in for her on the second half of her shift."

Now Ricky's astounded gaze turned to regard Johnny. Nudging Johnny with an elbow to get his attention, Ricky raised his eyebrows in silent questioning.

Johnny grinned again. "Hey, Shelby; meet Ricky. He's my temporary partner while Roy is laid up."

Shelby smiled warmly while extending a hand to greet Ricky. "Hello Ricky. So you're Roy's replacement huh?"

Accepting Shelby's hand in a friendly handshake Ricky offered the lovely woman a brilliant smile. "I'm not sure anyone could ever replace Roy, but I am filling in for him for the time being."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Good point, Roy would be hard to replace. But, uh…Ricky here is learning fast. He's gettin' Roy's Mother Hen routine down pat."

Shelby giggled. "Well, considering who he is partnered with, I'd wager the old saying about necessity being the mother of invention is pretty spot on."

Ricky chuckled in response to Shelby's quip.

Johnny sighed deeply with his face taking on an expression of annoyance as he glanced first at Shelby and then at Ricky. "All right you two, knock it off. I'm not that bad."

Just as both Shelby and Ricky were about to pursue Johnny's deflection, another voice chimed in from behind Shelby.

"Yeah you are." It was Charlie Dwyer dressed in civvies headed into Rampart to take his turn sitting with Roy.

Ricky and Shelby turned in surprise toward Dwyer's voice. Johnny glanced over Shelby's shoulder to see Dwyer and immediately rolled his eyes groaning aloud.

"Ya know what, I think it's time Ricky and I got back to work. Besides, I'm feelin' outnumbered. We are out'a here." Johnny declared waving his arm dismissively while skirting the group to open the driver's door of the waiting squad.

The assembled group chuckled in unison.

Ricky reached out and shook Dwyer's offered hand. "Hey Charlie, how are ya' doin'?"

"I'm good. I see you drew Gage again." Charlie replied.

"Yup." Ricky acknowledged glancing toward the squad. "And as he's senior, guess I'd better hop in the squad before he drives off and leaves me."

Waving a farewell, Ricky sauntered off to climb into squad 51 where Johnny waited, engine idling.

Dwyer turned to Shelby extending his hand. "Well hello there Ma'am. I'm Charlie Dwyer." And he smiled his brilliantly white charming smile.

Johnny had been watching the group disperse in the squad's mirror, and seeing Dwyer turn on the charm with Shelby, Johnny reached down and flipped the siren button on the squad allowing a brief yelp of sound to escape before flipping the switch back to the off position.

Dwyer and Shelby jumped in response to the sudden onslaught of sound, turning to look toward squad 51.

Johnny leaned his head out the driver's window and shook a teasingly warning finger at Dwyer. "Hey, don't be tryin' to make time with my girl." He cautioned smiling broadly and offing a wink for Shelby.

Dwyer raised both hands in silent surrender stepping back away from Shelby. "Wouldn't dream of it man."

"Uh huh…." Johnny offered with an eye roll.

Shelby smiled warmly at Johnny and stepped over to the driver's side door. "So I'm your girl huh?"

Johnny smiled warmly and nodded. "I was sort'a hopin' you were anyway."

Shelby grinned. She really liked Johnny, and found this hint of jealousy on his part a sweet gesture. "Well, we'll see." She offered coyly.

"Wan'ta get together tomorrow afternoon?" Johnny offered hopefully.

Shelby nodded smiling broadly. "That would be great. As luck would have it, I have tomorrow off. Why don't you give me a call after you get off tomorrow morning?"

"I'll do it." Johnny replied, a brilliant smile claiming his face now. "See ya' later." He said with a wave while shifting the squad into drive.

Dwyer stood quietly in the ambulance entryway grinning. '_Well! Looks like Gage hooked up with a real winner this time. Some guys have all the luck.' _He pondered admiringly.

Shelby stepped away from the squad as it pulled out of the ambulance bay, and she turned to walk into Rampart with Dwyer accompanying her.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Harrison left Rampart shortly after she had assured herself Roy was finished with lunch, and ready for a medicated afternoon nap. Emily Stanley had informed her there would be another paramedic coming that afternoon to be with Roy.<p>

Roy awoke in the early evening on Wednesday to find Charlie Dwyer sitting vigil. Shifting uncomfortably in the bed, Roy again silently struggled with the notion of becoming the Station 51 project. How he longed to be able to manage everyday tasks alone once again. Having to get help for just about everything was almost more humiliation than one strong willed control freak to handle. But attempts at denial of his needs would not stop them from coming, and Roy knew he'd yet again have to ask for assistance with basic personal care.

Roy cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Charlie's attention immediately shifted from the periodical he'd been perusing to Roy. "Hey Roy, I see you've decided to wake up."

"Hey Charlie. Emily recruited you too huh?"

Dwyer grinned amiably while rising to walk over to the bedside. "Nope, I volunteered." He defiantly declared while reaching out to fill Roy's water glass, then offering the straw in the glass to Roy.

Roy took a few sips of water studying the other man as he drank. When he'd had enough he allowed the straw to slip from his lips. "Oh? And how'd you come to 'volunteer'?" The suspicion Roy felt leaked into his demeanor.

Charlie smirked innocently while shrugging his shoulders. "Hey, when Emily Stanley asks for volunteers it's easy to step up. Besides man, you'd do it for me if I needed you."

Roy closed his eyes and groaned aloud. "Yeah well, you're right I would and I do appreciate you coming by today. I'd just never planned on being the guy who needed all the help." And the words spoken aloud were punctuated by thoughts for Roy. '_Oh my God, Emily made some public plea for assistance on my behalf. Just let me die now, and get it over with. All this is so embarrassing!'_ Roy's ears began to take on an extra bit of heat and color while his mind reeled from the humiliation he was feeling

Dwyer carefully sat on the edge of Roy's bed so he would be facing Roy. "Nobody plans to end up here." And he waved his hands in a graceful gesture indicating the room and building surrounding them. "But life doesn't always follow our plans. Sometimes shit happens, ya know. And look at it this way, if it didn't we'd be out of a job."

Roy made eye contact with Charlie then and shrugged his shoulders. Exhaling a long sigh he nodded. "Yeah, guess you've got a point there." But his reddened face and ears visibly broadcast his state of mind.

Charlie understood how Roy must be feeling, and realized discussing details of the group 'schedule' for DeSoto assistance were likely not a great topic. Roy was obviously still having some trouble adjusting to being the patient here. Given the guy's propensity for natural leadership and independence, Roy's reaction wasn't all that surprising. Still, it didn't matter how much Roy disliked needing help. It was simply the way things were right now.

Lead by Dwyer, the dialogue between the two men drifted to less philosophic topics then, and Roy found himself relaxing, and beginning to enjoy Charlie's company. The man was an excellent conversationalist. After a time the topic eased into firehouse scuttlebutt.

"So, who is that gorgeous blond I saw Gage flirting with when I came in this afternoon?" Dwyer had been dying to find out about Shelby since he'd seen the interaction between her and Gage earlier.

Roy smiled mysteriously. He knew how the firehouse rumor mill could be, and he also knew Charlie was much like Johnny in that they both dated around quite a lot, and were always on the lookout for an attractive woman. Taking a moment, Roy carefully devised an answer that would provide a tidbit of information while protecting most of Johnny and Shelby's privacy.

"You must be talking about Shelby Makee. She's a nurse here. Johnny's been going out with her for a couple of weeks now I guess."

"Oh yeah. You think it's serious?" Charlie quarried wistfully. Dwyer obviously had no qualms about pursuing hand-me-downs.

Roy couldn't help but smile. "Couldn't tell ya' really. For that information you'll have to ask Johnny personally. You know how it is. But she does seem like a keeper if you ask me."

Dwyer looked a bit crestfallen. "Well, she's a looker, that's for sure. I tell ya', Gage has all the luck."

Roy chuckled, then winced as his own laughter caused his healing ribs to jab him back to awareness of their presence. When he'd breathed through the worst of the pain he continued. "I don't know about all the luck, I mean looks to me like if he had that he'd have found one of these keepers to marry."

Dwyer a confirmed bachelor shivered visibly. "Ah, Roy, I think that's a matter of perspective. You married guys are all alike; trying to rope single fellas into giving up their freedom so they'll end up shackled into domesticity like you are. Somethin' about misery lovin' company I believe."

Dwyer's reaction and remarks caused Roy to laugh involuntarily. The agony laughing caused in those healing ribs almost took his breath away.

Dwyer reached out with a calming hand. "Take it easy there Roy. I don't think those ribs are far enough along for you to be laughing."

Unable to speak just yet, Roy nodded his agreement. When he'd recovered the power of speech, the two men again continued their chat.

And so the evening passed for Roy and Dwyer. Pleasant conversation, some mindless television viewing and the inevitable personal care routine Roy was unfortunately becoming accustomed to. When Roy had received medication and drifted off to sleep, Charlie Dwyer sat quietly passing the late evening by reading.

* * *

><p>Johnny and Ricky drove away from Rampart with Johnny regaling Ricky with BriceBellingham stories. The two men had almost made it back to the station when three rapid beeps from the radio signaled an incoming call.

"Squad 51, stand by for response." Sam Lanier's disembodied voice warned from the radio.

A long series of tones followed, and the squad was instructed to respond on a first alarm assignment for a structure fire at the Aarco refinery just across the street from Station 51. Johnny flipped on the reds and siren increasing speed as he headed for the call.

Scanning the skyline, neither man could detect smoke showing in the direction of their call.

"Huh, wonder if this is a false alarm." Ricky speculated aloud.

Before Johnny could offer an opinion a gigantic rumbling boom reverberated through the squad. A cloud of black smoke began to billow from a small building on the refinery property.

Johnny turned into the parking lot of the facility. "I'd say that answer would be a resounding no."

"Uh, yeah. No kiddin'!"

Following his nose, Johnny hastily drove toward the epicenter of the explosion. Upon arrival he found Engine 51 already on scene. After parking the squad, both paramedics jumped from the vehicle to don turnout coats before jogging over to check in with Captain Stanley who was talking with what looked to be a security guard.

Johnny called to his Captain as he ran. "Hey Cap, what have we got?"

Turning in the direction of Johnny's voice, Hank Stanley replied. "We've got a utility building fully involved. The security guard tells me he saw one of the refinery workers head inside a few minutes ago. He's not sure if the guy got out before the building went up. You and Wesley gear up and do a quick search. Marco and Chet'll clear you a path."

Johnny turned to Ricky. "You heard the man, let's go."

Both medics jogged back to squad 51 grabbing SCBA before heading for the now heavily smoking building.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: <strong>Yeah, I know….it's been a while since I've updated, and now I'm leaving you on a bit of a cliffy. Not to worry though, I'll update again in another day or so. I plan to finish this story up before I write anything else. I claimed three letters in the second round of the alphabet challenge, and I'm itching to jump into those. So hang in there loyal readers. More story on the way soon.

As for the two months between posts….well, let's just say you know it's been a stressful school year when you can gauge your anxiety level with a sphygmomanometer. And gentle reader, should you think it might be the students that cause anxiety; please let me correct any misunderstanding. Students are the reward for teachers. Even parents are not a problem for me as I always view them in an ally role. School district administration on the other hand is the leading cause of teacher defection and retirement (Mutiny comes to mind as well).


	38. Chapter 38

**Fragile Chapter 38**

Nearing the entry of the burning structure, Johnny and Ricky were blasted by intense waves of heat and a wall of boiling deep black smoke. Enormous tongues of greedy flame leapt through the murky smoke in search of oxygen, and perhaps potential victims.

Johnny reached the doorway two steps ahead of his partner. Turning he called back to Ricky, "Let's make it quick man, this building isn't gonn'a last long."

Silently Ricky nodded agreement, and both men crouched lower to the ground as they dove into the seemingly impenetrable wall of heat and smoke.

Chet and Marco hurriedly began hosing down the opening of the building in hopes they'd be able to control the inferno long enough for their buddies to conduct a search of the relatively small structure. Other engine companies had arrived and were busily protecting the building exposures in order to keep the flames from setting any number of fuel storage and transport areas ablaze.

Inside the structure Johnny gestured for Ricky to move toward the left while Johnny headed off for the right. The interior of the edifice was one open room with some crates and drums stacked in neat rows in the center and various pieces of equipment scattered around the outside walls. Both first responders began a methodical search of the perimeter, which as luck would have it quickly helped them locate the missing man.

The refinery worker was lying in a heap on the floor between a stack of drums and the back wall on Ricky's side of the building. Even in the semi darkness of the smoke filled room Ricky could guess what had happened. The injured man's clothes face and hands were blackened from what were probably flash burns. Blisters from second degree burns were already beginning to form on the victim's left hand, face and neck. There were patches of blackened skin on the man's hands and face too where third degree burns were no doubt present. On the concrete near the man lay a spilled pack of cigarettes, and several feet from the victim the remnants of what looked to be a lighter indicated the guy had probably ducked into the place to have a clandestine cigarette encounter.

Ricky shook his head sadly. _'Man! This guy should have looked around before he tried to light up. All these barrels of chemicals….. All the fumes….. Not the place for a smoke break buddy.' _He thought while kneeling to check the man for signs of life.

As Ricky reached for a carotid pulse, Johnny came upon the pair. "He alive?" Johnny quarried.

Ricky looked up nodding. "Yeah, barely."

"Let's get him and get out'a here." Johnny called hastily glancing around him at remnants of two or three burned out barrels of what had likely been fuel or chemicals of some sort. "It's too hot in here to do anything more than grab and go."

Both men bent down, and between them gently lifted their victim before beating a hasty retreat from the building.

Once outside, the paramedics moved their patient to a dry spot of pavement near squad 51. Rampart was contacted, an airway secured with O2 administered, I.V.'s were started and burns were covered and doused with saline. The refinery worker never stirred while treatment commenced, and both medics realized with observable airway burns the prognosis for their victim was dire.

"I'll ride in with him Ricky. Why don't you bring in the squad." Johnny remarked while gathering up and hefting the drug box and Biophone into the back of the newly arrived ambulance.

Ricky's expressive face and sad green eyes reflected his perception of the seriousness of the patient's condition. To him, it seemed such an unnecessary injury this poor fellow had suffered. With a heavy sigh he nodded his understanding to Johnny, and silently turned to head for squad 51.

After Johnny and Ricky left their as yet unconscious patient in the care of the good people of Rampart, the radio never let a moment of peace enter their afternoon and evening. They were dispatched to one minor call after another, and not one of those calls offered them a chance to transport anyone to Rampart, or an opportunity to return to station 51. Steady tedium, that's all they could recall about the remainder of the day.

Darkness had fallen by the time Johnny finally was able to back squad 51 into her place in the station apparatus bay. With a heavy sigh he turned off the vehicle's ignition and rubbed gritty tired eyes with a weary hand. "Man! I'm beat."

Ricky picked up the radio handset and with a sense of impending doom reluctantly called in "L.A., squad 51 in quarters."

Glancing over to where Johnny still sat motionless, Ricky acknowledged his partner's statement with a weary nod. "No kiddin'. What a day."

Johnny opened his door and slowly climbed from the squad. "Come on, let's find some chow before…" But any good fireman new finishing that sentence would surely break the spell cast by their current respite.

Both men made eye contact, and a matching weary smirk echoed itself in both faces. "_Don't want to rouse the fire God's anger by mentioning the pace of the day." _The words were unspoken, but both knew each was contemplating the same sentiment.

Trudging into the day room the medics were greeted by three exhausted though seemingly freshly showered firemen. Marco, Chet and Mike glanced up from the table where they had been sipping coffee and visiting.

"Hey guys, your dinner is in the oven." Marco offered.

Johnny sighed, and turned to walk toward the oven. "Thanks Marco." He mumbled while he walked.

Chet's blue eyes followed Johnny's progress through the kitchen. "Is that guy gonna make it." He softly quarried his friend.

Johnny shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure, but it doesn't look good….. Looked like he'd breathed in some really hot air."

The assembled men all silently allowed the news to sink in.

Chet slowly shook his head. "Man, what a waste."

But they all knew mishaps such as the one they'd just worked happened every day because of human error, or carelessness. This was one of those hard facts they faced constantly. So the silence between them stretched as men returned to reading, sipping or eating.

The evening brought blessed relief from the mundane for the men of 51's. Things were oddly quiet in their little corner of LA. Given the fun filled nature of the day though, most had wandered toward the dorm before ten o'clock.

* * *

><p>Early Thursday morning Roy awoke to yet another changing of the guard in his hospital room. Glancing over to the chair beside his bed he silently observed his sister-in-law Eileen sitting quietly reading a book of some sort.<p>

Not wishing to startle her, Roy cautiously cleared his throat.

Without delay, familiar green eyes looked up from the book the woman held in her lap. "Ah, you're awake." She set her book aside and rose from her chair to come over to the bedside.

Roy nodded. "Yeah." He croaked from a parched throat. "What are you doin' here?"

Eileen smiled indulgently at Roy while filling his water glass. "I got a call from Emily Stanley…."

Roy groaned, leaned back into his pillows and closed his eyes. "You too?" He grumbled discontentedly.

Eileen rested a gentle hand on Roy's thigh. "Yes, though I'll have to admit I was a little surprised when it turned out to be a friend calling for my help rather than my sister and brother-in-law." Her voice held a scold for Roy.

Roy opened his eyes then to regard his sister-in-law. "Eileen…." The tone was imploring.

Eileen squelched his remarks with a negative head shake. "Roy! Why didn't you call me when Jo got hurt?"

Roy pressed his lips together in silent frustration. "Honestly Eileen, we didn't need the help at home until I landed here." He defended, and his eyes swept the room around him in undisguised disgust. "Then well…." He glanced dolefully toward his disabled wrists. "I couldn't exactly pick up the phone. Besides, you have a family of your own to care for at home."

Eileen offered Roy the straw to the water glass while expressing her displeasure with a negative head nod.

"You and Jo are family too." She chastised.

Defeated, Roy sighed heavily. "I know Eileen. It's just….well, I had everything under control, and didn't want to bother you unnecessarily."

"Um hmm." Eileen growled softly. "Under control, eh?"

Roy's gaze met Eileen's piercing green eyes. Her visage expressed her ire, indignation and a glimmer of taunting subtle amusement. An exasperated sigh left Roy with a whoosh.

Roy set his jaw in a defiant clench. "Yes, under control." He declared. But he knew the irony of the entire situation, and his personal propensity to organize events around him had already been processed and digested by Eileen.

In a move for deflection of the uncomfortable spotlight in which he now felt he was bathed, Roy opted to change the direction of the conversation. "Speaking of family, who is taking care of your brood while you are here?"

Eileen knew what Roy was doing, and had no intention of allowing him to detour her from nailing him on being a control freak. Planting both hands on her hips she held his defiant gaze with of her own stern stare.

The kids went up to visit with Mom for a few days." Then she smiled wickedly. "Mom offered to come down and take care of Jo, but I figured…." With a sardonically arched brow, she allowed the sentence to dangle unfinished in the air.

Roy shivered involuntarily considering the unspoken prospect of his mother-in-law coming to spend time at his home while he was in such a weakened condition. He couldn't avoid the negative head nod he offered while he silently visualized the consequences.

"_Uh God! Harriet around to see me like this. No thank you! O.K., I guess Eileen has a point."_ He thought before again meeting Eileen's penetrating stare. _"And Eileen knows how much I'd hate it."_ Then he sighed in resignation. _"And just like Jo, she knows this weak helpless thing is killing me. How did these people figure me out? I thought I had everything under control. Everything in place. Things like this are just not supposed to happen to guys like me. But then again…. " _Roy sighed involuntarily. "_Hmmm…wonder how many people caught by the fickle finger of fate have thought exactly the same thing? I guess things happen, and they have to happen to someone. I just don't like being that someone!"_

Roy's protracted silence, and the emotions flickering across his face were not lost on Eileen. She smiled warmly at him now while patiently allowing him to ponder possibilities.

When Roy's eyes again met Eileen's he smiled wanly in surrender. "All right, all right…. Ya got me there."

Eileen chuckled knowingly.

Roy's smile warmed a bit. "And I am glad to see you. Just wish it were under different circumstances."

* * *

><p>Roy's Thursday progressed pretty much as he'd expected. There was the inevitable bodily elimination call, bed bath, sheet change and of course change of gown which gratefully Eileen stepped out of the room for. Then breakfast was served, and Roy found himself on the receiving end of Eileen's gentle teasing and feeding. Next morning meds were delivered, and then the now expected by Roy, lassitude brought about by the medication.<p>

Roy was awakened from his morning nap by the arrival of Dr. Brackett. After an extensive exam, Brackett proclaimed that if Roy continued to improve at his current progression, discharge from purgatory (a.k.a. Rampart) could come as early as the following day.

Roy greeted the news with delight. Now he knew how Johnny felt when similar news was brought during one of any number of hospital stays.

Roy's wrists having had three full days of rest were improving nicely. He could now press the call button, or scratch an itch on his own. He found he could even greatly assist with his own feeding. Perhaps in another day he would be able to manage more of his personal hygiene needs with further healing for those wrists.

Yes, things were indeed looking up for Roy. Now how was he going to manage life at home? Busily his mind began to consider possibilities, problems and potential solutions. Planning after all is essential for controlling chaos.

Momentarily Roy paused in his silent planning, suddenly aware of what he was doing. He had to smile to himself in that mement. _"Am I a contol freak?" _With a subtle shivver he shook his head. Maybe everyone around him was correct. Were there just some things that simply could not be controled? Again shaking his head, Roy squirmed in bed in his discomfort.

Glancing up from his private ruminations Roy's eyes met Eileen's. She smiled knowingly at him before returning her attention to her novel.

Roy shook himself mentally. Too much information to consider. _"Think I'll take a nap."_

**Authors Note: **Happy New Year everyone!


	39. Chapter 39

**Fragile Chapter 39**

For the men of L.A. County Fire Station 51, the subdued duties of Thursday evening should have been a silent warning, just as that proverbial calm before the storm. Everyone had been tucked in sleeping peacefully by ten o'clock only to be rudely snatched from dreamland by the tones at a little past midnight.

The call was for an apartment complex fire no more than a mile and a half from the station. Sleepy men rolled groggily out of bed, weary feet shuffled into turnout boots and pants before first responders boarded rescue vehicles bound for the mêlée.

When 51's rolled up on scene, they found themselves facing a heavily smoking two story apartment building. Tendrils of flame leaping from blackened second story windows licked at the roof eaves of three involved units. A small crowd of pajama clad people gathered on the sidewalk across from the small complex watching in horror as the building burned.

One of the spectators greeted the first on scene's company commander when Engine 51 stopped in front of the structure. The gentleman indicated he was the apartment complex manager, and had enlisted the aid of a couple tenants to knock on doors awakening complex residents when the fire was first noticed. Everyone was accounted for, and the man indicated other than being concerned and frightened, no one seemed to be injured.

The apartments burning were quickly extinguished by the first alarm assignment of firefighters, and overhaul was commenced. The entire affair, including salvage and overhaul was concluded in slightly less than two hours. Damaged units were secured, and displaced residents were taken care of by local disaster relief personnel who had appeared at the scene shortly after the arrival of the fire department. Fire department equipment was loaded onto trucks, and everyone returned to their respective stations.

For the men of station 51, this wasn't to be the end of the fun. En route to quarters, the paramedics were toned out to a bar fight. Johnny sighed wearily flipping on the lights and siren. Yes, it was looking like one of those nights.

Any smug feelings harbored by Engine 51's men were quickly squashed as a mere three minutes later they too were toned out to an MVA at a local cross street within their district.

The paramedics were able to patch up their victims in a matter of fifteen minutes. No transport needed. Both weary paramedics prayed silently they'd be able to make it back to their bunks soon. Just as Johnny and Ricky climbed back into squad 51 the call came to assist Engine 51 at their incident.

Johnny shook his head grumbling under his breath as he again activated warning lights and siren on the squad. "I guess we were not intended to sleep tonight."

Glancing over at his disgruntled partner, Ricky offered a weary conciliatory smile. Good thing we have the next three days off huh."

Johnny sighed heavily. "Yeah, I guess….."

When squad 51 pulled up to the accident scene; what looked to be a single car incident involving a telephone pole, Captain Stanley met them before they could disembark the vehicle.

"Hey Cap. What we got?" Johnny tiredly quarried.

"Looks like that telephone pole jumped out and attacked the guy in the car. At least, that's what he claims." Stanly replied wickedly grinning.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "ETOH huh." He'd seen it before, and considering it was now just past two in the morning the timing would coincide with closing time at the local night spots.

Cap nodded affirmatively. "He's got a split lip and a cut on his forehead that's bleeding quite a bit, so we thought he might need to be looked at before we turn him over to the police."

Johnny sighed with resignation. "All right, we'll get him taken care of."

Cap smiled at his paramedic. "Good deal John. We'll get the scene squared away."

Ricky and Johnny grabbed the drug box and biophone from the squad before striding purposefully over to the wrecked automobile. Reaching the car, Johnny leaned down to peer in the window. A man of about forty five slumped unmoving with his head resting on the steering wheel. The stench of alcohol assaulted the paramedic's senses even though he was a good foot and a half from the victim.

"Sir?... Sir?... " Johnny reached in and touched the man's shoulder gently.

Slowly the man lifted his head and turned glassy brown eyes to look at Johnny. "What'da'ya want? I'm sleepin' here." He slurred.

From his vantage point Johnny could now see in addition to the split lip which was bleeding moderately, the man had a small bump on the left side of his head, and a superficial cut no larger than an inch trickling blood down from the victim's hair line into the man's eyebrow.

"_Alcohol and driving. So not a good mix. When will people learn!" _Johnny's mind silently grumbled. In his paramedic career he'd seen so many stupid and often times tragic results from the mix of booze and driving. But accident scenes were not the appropriate venue for lectures. Usually the victim's were either too badly injured, traumatized or too inebriated to hear any self riotous rant he might want to deliver.

Pasting on an affable grin, Johnny reached to open the car door. "Looks like you had a little accident."

The man's eyes tracked Johnny's movements jerkily. "Stupid pole…..who puts poles right out where a fella can hit 'em anyway. I wuz jes mindin' my own business and….." The man brought his hands together as if to clap, but missed the connection. "and….bam! Stupid thing jes is in the wrong place….and now look at my car…."

Johnny resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. "Well, how about just to be on the safe side you let me take a look at you and see if you are all right?"

The obviously inebriated fellow considered Johnny's offer shrugging slightly. "Suit yourself."

Johnny turned and nodded to Ricky. "Go ahead and contact Rampart. Could be a concussion, but for sure ETOH. Probably gonna need to take this guy in."

Then turning, Johnny addressed the man. "What's your name sir?"

'Virgil…..uh…Virgil Callaway." The man had looked down into his lap and was now fumbling vainly with the seatbelt in what seemed to be an attempt to release the latch.

"All right Virgil." Johnny said kneeling in front of the man. "My name is Johnny, and I'm just gonna check you out here." While he spoke Johnny carefully began to palpate the man's head, shoulders, arms and legs. "Let me know if anything I'm doing hurts, O.K.?"

Still fumbling with the seatbelt with obviously uncoordinated fingers Virgil responded with an unintelligible grunt.

Ricky activated the biophone and made contact with Rampart. He'd given the hospital obvious information about the victim, and now patiently waited for Johnny to finish his assessment.

"So Virgil, ya been drinkin' a little tonight?" Johnny inquired politely though the answer to that question was obvious.

Virgil blearily peered up at Johnny from the task he had still not managed to accomplish. A sloppy grin crossed his face and he nodded slowly. "At least." He confirmed. "Wife's out'a town ya know, and it was boys night out. Ssssoooo…..I went out…and….well ya see…then they closed the bar…and I had'ta leave…and….then this pole jest…sort'a showed up….right there in the way…and…then….well…..".

"Do you remember how much you drank this evening?" Johnny questioned.

"Uh…..ummm….hmmm…well, uh…." Virgil seemed distracted by his clumsy efforts to release the seat belt latch.

Pausing for a minute in his unsuccessful endeavor Virgil squinted up at the paramedic. He was sure the man had been talking to him. "What?... Sorry mister….um, you wanted something from me. Guess I wasn't listening….sorry. See….I was drivin' along…..and all of a sudden this pole…well it just sort'a showed up…and…"

Virgil having found his voice would have continued to ramble but for Johnny interrupting him. "So, how about we get you out of this car?" And Johnny deftly reached over and unbuckled the seatbelt Virgil _still _had not managed to manipulate correctly.

Johnny turned to Ricky intending to ask for bandaging supplies only to find Ricky had them ready and waiting. Accepting the materials Johnny acknowledged Ricky with a grin, and turned to bandage Virgil, who was still rambling aimlessly totally oblivious his litany wasn't being heard by the medic.

"…..and ya' see, at this bar I was….see…uh…there was this lady….ya' should'a seen her fellas. She was a looker….and she was 'a comin' on to me….but I am married, I told you I was married right?"

The ambulance arrived and Virgil, still jabbering away was placed on the gurney.

Johnny squatted beside the cot with the ready normal saline I.V. Dr. Morton had ordered for their victim. "Virgil….Virgil…."

The man's diatribe suddenly halted when his eyes beheld the I.V. needle. "Hey….what'da'ya plan to do with that? You're a fireman, you guys put out fires….what'da'ya got that needle for?"

Plastering on his most professional expression, Johnny reassured his patient. "The hospital has ordered an I.V. for you, and I am a fireman/paramedic. That means I can treat injured people, like you Virgil."

While he spoke Johnny didn't wait for Virgil's addled mind to catch up to the conversation, instead he efficiently started the I.V. while his words held the man's attention. Before Virgil even got the language for his argument formed, Johnny was gently taping the I.V. in place. But an argument was intended to be offered, and not realizing the dreaded procedure had already occurred, Virgil began to ramble.

"Yeah but….I don't like needles. Never have….ya' see when I was a kid there was this time I had one of those things break off in my arm, and it was jes' awful…. And ever since then I jes….well, I'm not really afraid of 'em ya know…it's jes I'd rather not 'cause…"

Johnny patted the man gently on the shoulder interrupting his protests. "Virgil, man! Really, it's gonna be all right. It's already done. See, Nothin' to it."

Slowly the victim looked down at his arm. Then glassy brown eyes again met Johnny's gaze. "Hey, I didn't even feel that…..You're great! I mean, really….if that was how they'd have been when I was a kid' it'd have been a lot better 'cause stuff like that can be scary for a kid…well and I guess for a man too…well since I had that problem…."

And the word stream continued while the gurney was wheeled toward the back of the ambulance. When Virgil rolled past Captain Stanley he called out to the tall fireman.

"Hey….Mister…uh…. aren't you the boss here?" Virgil waved his free hand while Johnny gently restrained the arm with the I.V.

Unseen by the victim Hank Stanley rolled his eyes before turning to look down at the man on the gurney. "Yes sir, I guess you could say I'm the boss. That'd be me. What can I do for you?" He politely addressed the intoxicated man.

"Oh…nothin'…jes wanted ta tell you this guy here…" and Virgil gestured toward Johnny with his free hand. "He's the greatest…did'ya know that. I mean he stuck me with this needle and all….and I don't like needles ya know….and well he was all right. Ya know? I didn't even know what was happening…he was so fast and everything…..He's pretty good huh….he must be the best para….uh…para…oh uh….well…whatever…..ever."

Quickly diverting his attention toward Johnny, Stanley smirked. His youngest crew member was a man of many words sometimes. It was pretty funny after all to see Johnny dealing with verbosity issues from another. Still wearing his smile Hank again looked down at Virgil. "Yes sir, he sure is, isn't he." And Cap glanced meaningfully at Johnny.

Johnny silently shook his head as if to say "_Oh yeah, this guy is SOOOOO _ _drunk. I'm thinking this trip to Rampart is gonna last forever for me!"_ Johnny didn't really consider himself verbose, and thus missed the humor his captain enjoyed in the current situation.

Stanley reached down and reassuringly patted their victim on the shoulder. You just rest easy there sir. We're gonna send 'the best paramedic ever' with you to the hospital so you'll know you can count on getting the finest care en route."

This particular conversational gold mine was ended abruptly when the Mayfair men, with evil smirks sliding across their faces rolled the gurney toward their rig.

Long suffering Johnny Gage trudged alongside the victim to make sure the man didn't pull his I.V. with his over-exaggerated gesticulations. _"Boy this is turning out to be a long night." _He'd missed the other men's amusement entirely.

During the drunk victim's rescue, and extended vocal spree, Ricky acted as the consummate assistant providing technical support where needed, secretarial and communication skill where required, and handing off supplies when the situation necessitated. During the entirety of the 'rescue' Ricky, almost as if trained by Roy, emanated an absolute delight while observing Johnny dealing with the inebriated victim's verbosity.

While working, Johnny at once enjoyed Ricky's efficiency as a paramedic partner, and was annoyed with the Ricky's obvious glee in the predicament of Johnny having to deal with the mouthy drunk. Casting a sideways glare at Ricky's amused expression while the men were loading Virgil into the ambulance Johnny thought: "_Oh yeah buddy. That's it, laugh it up. You just wait, your turn will come."_

The team of paramedics made eye contact one last time before the ambulance door was closed to ship the patient off to Rampart. In this silent exchange Ricky's amusement sparkled in his green eyes. Johnny's brown eyes narrowed into irritated slits.

"See you at Rampart." Ricky offered with a smile. "Enjoy the ride partner."

"No doubt." Johnny grumbled. Johnny briefly contemplated climbing out of the ambulance and decreeing the junior partner take the man in. If Cap hadn't promised the victim Johnny would ride in with him, Johnny would have handed the task off to Ricky too.

The trip to Rampart seemed interminable even though Johnny realistically knew they only had a seven minute ETA. Virgil happily babbled on and on while Johnny dutifully took vitals and offered the occasional head nod or verbal sound of acknowledgement. Johnny was overjoyed to leave this patient in the hands of the folks at Rampart. Virgil would be kept at least overnight for observation due to a combination of alcohol and the potential head injury.

Johnny met Ricky at the nurse's station after leaving Virgil in exam 4. Ricky had apparently made himself useful re-stocking the drug box while he waited.

Schooling his features into an irate visage Johnny approached his temporary partner. "Enjoyed that last run did ya?" He taunted.

Ricky continued his re-stocking organization without even looking up, but Johnny saw the smirk he wore.

"Oh, ya think that was funny do ya? Just wait buddy, you'll get your share of those." Johnny knew if Ricky had taken the lead, it was just as likely Johnny would have enjoyed watching someone else corral the verbose victim. So, it was hard to be really mad. But still, if he'd realized how much Ricky might enjoy his predicament, he'd have let the younger medic take the lead.

With a look of innocence Ricky met Johnny's gaze. Shrugging his shoulders he smiled wickedly. "Looks like you made a new friend there Johnny, and obviously found a new fan. I mean, after all, how often does a fella get called, let me see….how was it he put it….the best ever para-whatever ever."

Johnny grimaced while running slender fingers through tussled raven locks. Sighing he met Ricky's gaze. "Oh yeah….great compliment there. I think next time it'll be your turn to have 'praise' heaped upon you. Hey, on the up side, with as drunk as that guy was, at least I didn't get puked on."

Ricky closed the drug box while both men chuckled. "Good point."

"Come on." Johnny said gesturing with a jerk of his head. "Let's head back to the barn. Maybe we can get at least a couple hours sleep before wake up tones sound."

The duo ambled out of Rampart Emergency and boarded squad 51. Neither man could have described the familiar trek back to the station simply realizing the trip was done when Johnny backed the rescue vehicle into the bay beside the engine. Turning off the squad's ignition Johnny glanced down at his wrist watch. It was a little past four in the morning.

"I'm beat. Come on, let's hit the sack." Johnny said while climbing from the truck cab.

"I'll second that." Ricky agreed.

Both man trudged into the dorm where they dropped into their bunks to have Morpheus immediately claim them.

Friday morning arrived too damned early for the men of L.A. County Fire Station 51. Wake up tones were greeted, if that's what it could be called, with many colorful expletives best not repeated. Sleepy grumpy firemen trudged from warm beds to greet the morning with less than cheerful hearts.

Sleepy or not, Johnny Gage had big plans for the day. So after a quick shower and three or was it four cups of coffee, he shucked his uniform for civvies.

"Where are you headed this morning?" Ricky quarried. Both men had been in the locker room changing clothes at the same time.

Closing his locker with a weary thud, Johnny turned to eye Ricky. "Gonna run by and pick up a little breakfast, then take it over and share with Roy. He's bound to be getting out of Rampart soon, and I want to check up on him this morning. After that…." Johnny yawned widely. "I'm headed home for a nap." Then he grinned. "Then I'm pretty sure I've got a date."

Ricky finished packing his laundry into his duffle bag. "Hmmm… Would you mind if I tagged along when you went over to visit Roy? I'd love to see how he's doing."

Johnny cast an undisguised suspicious stare Ricky's direction. "Just want to catch up with Roy huh? I don't know Ricky…."

Uncertainly Ricky fidgeted. He hadn't meant to intrude or over step his boundaries here. Yet Johnny seemed to be regarding him with mistrust.

Johnny saw the younger medic's resolve waiver, and not wanting to appear unkind he smiled. "Just givin' you a hard time man. Take it easy. Come on, I'll drive us over to pick up breakfast. I'm sure Roy will be glad to see a new face, besides I'm sure you are just dying to tell him about this morning's run. But before you go carrying tales I want to remind you, two can play that game 'partner.' " And Johnny grabbed his stuff heading out of the locker room.

Relieved, Ricky snatched up his things and followed Johnny out. "Right behind ya buddy. And, I'm not worried about anyone telling tales out of school. I'm pure as the driven snow. Nothing embarrassing to tell."

Johnny glanced back over his shoulder while offering a disbelieving head shake. "Oh yeah? Maybe Roy will tell me about your first full shift with him." Roy had already told those stories to Johnny, but Ricky didn't realize that. Johnny figured the possibilities of revisiting some pretty awkward sounding moments was an appropriately menacing threat.

"Um….Johnny, maybe there are some topics it's best to avoid." Ricky offered as he attempted to catch up to Johnny's hasty pace.

Johnny's deep chuckle filled the space between the two as both stowed their stuff, and crawled in to the vehicle.

As the pair rode toward Rampart, Ricky couldn't help but wonder exactly how much of the events of his first full shift with Roy had been shared with Johnny. Would Roy have given those secrets away…..and if he had, would Johnny let on he already knew. How close were these partners anyway?

**Authors Note: **I know, I know….you all really just want to know when Roy will get well….and how awkward the events during his recovery will be. But I couldn't just let the boys at 51's have another full night's sleep. As Johnny succinctly stated in the episode about Insomnia, a full night without a run "Is just not natural." I didn't want the poor boy to lapse into sleepless nights again, so I wrote this chapter. Besides, I thought it might be enjoyable to have a little fun with Ricky at Johnny's expense. Hope you enjoyed the detour. I promise, next chapter begins with Roy's Friday morning, impending freedom and perhaps….Johnny and Shelby's date.


	40. Chapter 40

**Fragile Chapter 40**

Roy awoke Thursday from his late afternoon slumber to find he was now attended by a familiar dark haired, blue eyed beauty. Sometimes the people who came to sit with him would tell him who would be coming in after they left. Sometimes, as it apparently had been in Eileen's case, they did not. Seeing the woman at his bedside brought a warm smile to Roy's face. His Thursday evening keeper (_cringe_) was apparently to be Brigid, Chet's eldest sister. Roy's pleasure at seeing this lovely lady came both from the fact he found her presence enjoyable, and his realization he'd stand a pretty fair chance of beguiling the lovely lady into what he was certain might be construed by his partner, captain and family as a gross dereliction of duty.

With the improvement in his wrists, Roy felt he was in less need of what he mentally referred to as 'babysitting.' He spent most of Thursday evening employing any number of charming tactics for convincing Brigid he would be all right alone in the hospital the remainder of the night. After sundown meds were delivered, Brigid finally relented to his incessant ascertains; though not without contacting her little brother to let Chet know "the mutiny has begun."

Early Friday morning the Rampart hospital routine woke Roy. A nurse came in for morning bodily function assistance, followed by bath, gown and sheet change. Vitals check, morning medication followed by breakfast were next on his "to do" list, and it was just as a rather disgusting smelling breakfast had been delivered that Roy looked up to notice Johnny and Ricky striding into the room.

Johnny of course had known the help schedule. After all, he had been a party to helping Emily Stanley find enough volunteers to fill probable needs. In anticipation of what would undoubtedly be an enchanting visit with Brigid, Johnny had remembered to bring along enough breakfast so the four people would be well fed.

Entering Roy's hospital room Johnny spotted Roy staring glumly at the recently delivered food tray. In a commanding voice he declared, "Hold it right there partner! Don't do it. Nothin' could be so desperate you'd need to eat that stuff! We've come to rescue you from suicide by breakfast!"

Roy looked up from the discouraging edibility inspection he'd been conducting to smile welcomingly at Johnny. With a flair of mock dramatics Roy answered. "Oh thank God! Finally! The cavalry has arrived!"

The three men exchanged friendly greetings while Roy's pseudo breakfast was removed, and delicious smelling diner take out distributed for consumption. While fishing a fourth cup of coffee from one of the white bags the men had brought, Johnny glanced around the room expectantly. When Brigid, the object of his search couldn't be located Johnny turned an inquisitive gaze on Roy.

"So uh…Roy. Where is Brigid? I thought she was the person who was supposed to hang around here last night."

Roy, with bandaged hands, was carefully opening a styrofoam container of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. Guiltily he peered up at Johnny. "Um….. She went home last night."

Johnny shook his head in silent confusion. "Is everything all right? I mean….why did she have to leave?"

Roy squirmed under Johnny's scrutiny. A thick silence hung in the air. Finally Roy sighed noisily. "Look Johnny, I am feeling better and I just didn't think I needed to impose on here. Her sitting here all night just wasn't necessary."

Flint like brown eyes solidly connected with baby blues. No one spoke for a couple of seconds.

Johnny's jaw tightened into a stubborn jut, and he folded his arms across his chest. "Roy….."

"_Uh boy, here it comes."_ Roy thought.

Ricky, the relatively silent witness thus far saw the two men squaring off for a battle where he was certain there would likely be no winners. In a move for levity he began to hum a strain of the opening duel from "Dueling Banjoes."

"Bah du dah dah dah dah dah dah dummmm." He let the familiar melody dangle momentarily before repeating it at a slightly increased dynamic. "Bah du dah dah dah dah dah dah dummmm."

Surprised both combatants turned to stare at the singer.

Ricky smiled slyly, only silently offering a quirked brow in answer before inhaling to continue the quarrelsome melody he'd begun.

That did it! Johnny and Roy couldn't help but laugh.

Tensions now lowered in the room Ricky ceased his serenade. "Look guys, this just isn't worth arguing over right now. We've got the next three days off to make sure Roy here doesn't have any more mutinous outbreaks. Let's eat huh? The food's gettin' cold and I'm starved!"

In unison Roy and Johnny's eyes locked and both spoke at once. "He's been spending too much time with you." Roy accused his partner.

Simultaneously Johnny accused Roy, "You have corrupted this guy, and now I'm gonna be stuck with him 'till you get better."

Ricky placed both closed fists on his hips in a determined pose. "Hold on boys. Neither one of you get's to take credit. I'm just playing peace maker. I don't want two great friends to have problems because one is hot headed and the other is bull headed. I'm just 'heading' you off at the pass."

Johnny and Roy huffed in semi-mock outrage. Finally after a long moment Johnny broke the awkward silence. "Which one is which?"

Roy climbed aboard Johnny's train of thought and he too looked to Ricky for clarification. "Yeah, I'd like to know the answer to that too."

Ricky grinned. "I've got a feeling you are interchangeable actually."

"You know Wesley, I agree with you. They are interchangeable." Kelly Brackett's deep voice intoned from the doorway of Roy's room. He'd arrived just in time to hear Ricky's last couple of sentences, and had gleefully eavesdropped to see how the fray would finally settle.

Roy and Johnny both adopted defensive postures at this point.

"Just a dog-gone minute here!" Johnny sputtered

"Now wait a minute…" Roy protested.

Brackett and Wesley turned amused grins first on the duo of duelers, and then upon one another. Next physician and newbie medic crossed their arms over their chests and presented united glares for the potential combatants. Silence reigned again for a few protracted moments.

Wordlessly Roy and Johnny observed the other two men, then they looked at one another. A faint grin quirked one corner of Johnny's face and he gave a small shoulder shrug. Roy too began to smile. Now it was the Gage/DeSoto pair's turn to present a united front. As one the two men faced their worthy opponents and raised hands in surrender.

"I think we should quit while we're ahead Junior." Roy said

Johnny chuckled softly. "Yeah, no kiddin. I think we've been called out."

Good humor restored, everyone enjoyed visiting for a few moments. As there was an extra breakfast available, Brackett was invited to join in the feeding frenzy. Easy conversation among the men flowed while food was consumed.

When every crumb had been eaten, and final swigs of coffee were sipped Johnny ventured back into dangerous waters. "So Doc, did ya come by to see when you'll be writin' Roy here a parole from this place?"

Brackett chuckled. "Yeah, actually. He seems to be improving nicely, and I've no doubt the Stanley project will ensure he can continue the healing at home. I'm here to give him one final going over to make sure discharge is a good plan."

"I don't know Doc, Mr. stubborn over here…" and Johnny jerked his head toward Roy. "…seems to think he's ready to fly off out into the world without any help. He sent Brigit home last night because he seems to feel he's ready to do things on his own."

Johnny received an annoyed glare from Roy at this point. He ignored Roy's ire and plowed ahead.

"So Doc, you gonna get Roy here some OT and PT goin' before he's released?" Johnny knew he was being pushy, but there were some tasks Roy might need to adapt for home use, and OT and PT were just the folks to help out.

Brackett observed Roy's reactions to Johnny's questions and had to grin. These two would absolutely take care of one another, whether the receiver of care liked it or not.

"Yup, sure am Johnny."

Then Dr. Brackett turned to address Roy. Occupational Therapy will be here at around ten this morning, and Physical Therapy will be in to see you at one o'clock. If all goes well, we should be able to discharge you this evening."

Then turning to Johnny and Ricky, Brackett schooled his features into a stern glare. "Now, if you two would get out of here, I can get on with examining my patient."

"Sure thing Doc." Johnny smiled at Brackett. Then he turned to Roy. "I'll be over to pick you up when you get sprung. Have 'em call me."

The prospect of freedom cheered Roy, and earlier disgruntlement faded. "Thanks Johnny! Oh, and guys…. Thanks for coming by to rescue me from breakfast suicide."

Refuse from the feast was gathered and tossed, goodbyes were exchanged and the visiting paramedics departed leaving physician and patient alone at last.

Johnny and Ricky left Rampart by way of the Emergency department. On the drive back to the station conversation meandered back to those tense moments in Roy's room.

"Boy, you two almost got into it back there." Ricky offered.

"Nah…." Johnny dismissed Ricky with a wave of his hand. "Roy just hate's being dependant. Hey man, I've been there too many times myself. I know exactly how he's feelin'. But right now it's my job to make sure he's being properly taken care of. It just gets to him sometimes, and grumbling at me helps blow off some of the steam. We'd have gotten over it, even if you hadn't stepped in."

Ricky smiled, and nodded. "Yeah, I sort of figured you would. But the food was getting cold….and I hate to see friends kill one another."

Johnny chuckled. "Well, I have to admit, things were looking a little rough there for a minute. I figure Roy and I will end up wrestling a few more times before this whole ordeal is said and done."

"Hey, if you need my help just say the word." Ricky offered. "In fact, I think I'm going to give Mrs. Stanley a call and see how they are fixed for volunteers."

Johnny smiled warmly. He really couldn't help but like Ricky.

"Good deal Ricky! I really appreciate it! Welcome to the family!"

**Author's Note:** O.K., there isn't room in this chapter for Johnny and Shelby's potential date. No worries though, you'll just have something to look forward to.

**Trivial bits**:

Brigid (Pronounced bridge – id) The name Brigid from brigh meaning "power, vigour, virtue" epitomizes the Irish genius for layering old and new. The main female deity of the Celts, Brigid made the land fruitful and animals multiply, she blessed poets and blacksmiths. Her namesake St. Brigid of Kildare carried her powers into the Christian era. The stories of Brigid"s compassion and miracles are told now as they have been for more than 1500 years in every part of Ireland. She is equal in esteem and shares a grave with St. Patrick and St. Columcille. Her feast day, February 1st, is the first day of Spring in the Celtic calendar. (Name and information taken from web site Baby Names of Ireland dot com.)

"Dueling Banjoes" is an instrumental composition by Arthur "Guitar Boogie" Smith, composed in 1955. You can check out any number of performances of this piece on you tube if you are looking for a melody to fit right into this chapter.


	41. Chapter 41

**Fragile Chapter 41**

Johnny dropped Ricky off at station 51 before heading home. The past twenty four hours had been grueling at best, and he was in desperate need of a nap. Arriving at his apartment, Johnny hastily called Shelby to discuss their plans for getting together. Once things were finalized, he took a quick shower and fell into bed. The telephone woke him at 1:30.

Sitting up groggily, he reached for the receiver on the phone next to his bed.

"Hello." He rumbled in a voice laced with slumber.

"Well hello Johnny, Dixie here."

"Oh hey Dix, what's up?"

"I just called to let you know Roy should be ready to leave Rampart sometime after five this evening. Kel is writing up discharge orders as we speak."

"O.K., thanks for letting me know. I'll be there ready and waiting. Thanks for callin' me."

"It's no problem Johnny. Any chance you could get here a little early? I think Kel wanted to discuss after care with you."

Johnny chuckled softly. He just _knew _Roy would love knowing Doc wanted to talk to him about Roy's care. "Sure thing Dix. I'll show up at the ER at say 4:45 if that'll work.

"Sounds perfect. We'll see you soon. Bye Johnny."

"Sure thing. Bye Dix." And the receiver was placed back into the cradle.

Johnny sat unmoving on the side of his bed for a few minutes allowing wakefulness to fully reach his mind. When he'd recovered more of his faculties, he picked up the phone to call Cap's house.

After two rings a familiar baritone voice answered. "Stanley residence."

"Uh hey Cap, Johnny here."

"Hi John, what's up?"

"Wanted to let you know Roy is getting' out of Rampart this evening. I'm gonna go over and pick him up at around five o'clock."

"Outstanding! What are you gonna need from me? Roy's wrists are still not ready for crutches I'd assume, not to mention those sore ribs. You gonna need help getting him in and out of the car?"

"Actually, probably not 'cause I'm gonna meet Shelby there. She agreed to help me get him home and settled. But we probably need to get some more home help set up at least for the next couple of days. Roy's not gonna like it, but I'm bettin' he won't be able to even transfer himself into a wheel chair for another couple of days. I can go over and spend tomorrow, but I'd sure appreciate it if someone could go and hang out with him this evening. I uh….was sort'a hopin' to go out on a date after we got him settled."

Hank chuckled. "You know, as luck would have it, I imagine rustling up a volunteer will be really easy because I think I could go spend this evening. And when I consider it, he might need some…uh…. paternal influence to smooth the transition."

Johnny snickered. "You are a mind reader Cap. I'd sort'a been thinkin' the same thing myself. Thanks!"

"Not a problem John. How about I meet you at Roy's place at say six thirty? Emily was going to bring dinner over for JoAnne and the kids tonight anyway. If I show up along with my wife, it shouldn't appear to be unusual"

Johnny couldn't suppress a grin. It seemed they all realized Roy might want to be unaware of special arrangements made for his care. Colluding on noninvasive appearing 'visitations' would just be a method for simplify things.

"Sounds like a plan Cap. Thanks again! I'll give Jo a call and let her know to expect her husband home this evening; and I guess I'll see you later."

"Sure thing John." The smile Stanley must have been wearing transmitted through his voice.

The two men said their farewells, and the call ended. Johnny next called JoAnne, and when he'd done he phoned Shelby to finalize their arrangements. After hanging up from the last call Johnny was smiling while considering the pleasant evening he had planned. Yes, this day was going to turn all right!

A little past four in the afternoon came around to find Johnny dressed for his evening, and slipping into the driver's seat of his Land Rover. The trip to Rampart took a little longer than usual due to congested traffic at this time of day, but Johnny arrived by about four forty-five. Striding into the Emergency department he spotted Dr. Brackett and Dixie at the nurse's station. Perfect!

"Hey Doc, Dix." Johnny called when he approached the pair.

Both medical professionals turned welcoming smiles on the paramedic.

"HI John." Brackett intoned.

"Hi Johnny." Dixie offered.

"So looks like our boy is ready to go home." Brackett opened the subject easily.

"I know he's probably happy to hear that." Johnny replied.

"I wanted to discuss some after care precautions with you before you went to take him home. Let's go down to my office for a minute." Brackett suggested.

"Sure thing Doc." Johnny said with a smile while turning to walk away from the nurse's desk. "See ya later Dix."

Dixie smiled and waved at the departing duo, and set about working on the chart she had open on the counter in front of her.

When Dr. Brackett and Johnny had settled comfortably in chairs in the physician's office the conversation they had begun in the hallway continued.

"So, how'd it go for Roy with Occupation and Physical Therapy yesterday?" Johnny jumped right in. He needed to know what Roy was going to require assistance with, and he was pretty sure Roy would likely try to do more than he should.

Brackett smiled. _"Looks like Johnny has given Roy's homecoming some thought. Good deal!"_ He thought. "OT helped him come up with some means of assisting himself in basic restroom functions though for more advanced bodily functions he'll likely need a lift assist to transfer from wheelchair to toilet for a couple of days. Those wrists need two or three more days of rest before he should try any sort of weight bearing on them. And I'd imagine if he tried to transfer his own weight for the next couple of days those broken ribs would be pretty uncomfortable. Physical therapy gave him information on transferring in and out of a wheel chair when he's ready, but as I know you have been through this before yourself, it wouldn't hurt if you were around to remind him when the time comes the mechanics of working through the process. But really, I don't want him putting any weight on those wrists for at least another two days. After that, just use common sense to decide if he's ready."

Johnny listened attentively, nodding in agreement as the instructions proceeded.

Brackett picked a brown paper bag up from his desk and handed it to Johnny. "Here, you'll need this."

Peeking inside the sack, Johnny saw the expected supplies and a bottle of analgesic. "O.K., thanks."

Next Dr. Brackett stood up from his chair while handing over Roy's discharge paperwork. "So I'll let you go on up and give Roy the news."

Johnny too stood. "Sounds good Doc. I know he'll be happy!"

The two men began to leave the office while engaged in conversation.

"I realize because we are talking about Roy here rather than you, I might not need to issue this final order. But just in case you've been a bad influence on him through the years, I'm going to mention it anyway. See if you can make sure Roy stays on top of the pain. By this I mean he should be taking the pain medication regularly." And Brackett turned to smirk at Johnny.

Johnny's expression took on a mildly annoyed tinge and he planted his free hand on his hip. "Ha ha ha Doc. Oh, so you've turned in to Mr. Funny Pants, huh? I'm not _that_ bad." He huffed.

While the conversation progressed the two men continued to walk briskly down the hall. The final exchange happened as they stopped next to Dixie's desk. With their approach, the lovely blond nurse looked up from her charting.

"You're not that bad at what?" She quarried.

Kel Brackett turned to Dixie to answer. "Taking pain medication."

Johnny threw an annoyed glare at Brackett, and then turned innocent eyes upon Dixie.

But Dixie wasn't on his side in this one. He could tell by her stern expression and the hand she had planted firmly on one hip.

"If you aren't that bad at taking meds, then we only have Roy to thank for it generally. You're a terrible patient when it comes to compliance with a medication regime of any kind Johnny Gage!"

Rapidly deciding this was not a discussion he'd like to continue Johnny began to back away from the nurse's station toward the elevator. "Well…Uh….I've got to run guys. Roy'll be expecting me any second now." And he turned to make a quick exit, Dixie and Dr. Brackett's amused laughter echoing in his ears.

When he'd gotten only a few steps away Johnny suddenly remembered he was supposed to meet Shelby at the ER nurse's station. Turning hastily he called out to Dixie. "Say Dix, Shelby MaKee and I are supposed to be meeting down here. Could ya please send her up to Roy's room when she shows."

Still snickering Dixie nodded affirmatively. "Will do Johnny."

"Thanks!" He called. Without losing a stride, Johnny turned and made his way toward the elevator.

When Johnny arrived at Roy's hospital room he heard laughter and conversation coming from inside the room. Opening the door he peered in to find Shelby had already beaten him there.

"Well hey!" He greeted her with a smile. "I thought we were gonna meet in the ER. What'cha doin' up here already?"

Turning at the sound of Johnny's voice, Shelby's face broke into a warm smile. "Oh well, I was early so figured I'd come on up and spend some time visiting with Roy."

"Oh, ….uh o.k.' A wary look graced Johnny's face then. "Sounded like you guys were havin' fun when I came up. What'cha been talkin' about?" Johnny wasn't really sure how he felt about this unsupervised time Roy and Shelby were having. It wasn't that he didn't trust them; he just didn't trust them _together_.

Roy saw the uncertain appearance cross his partner's face and couldn't help himself. "We were talking about you actually." He declared with an evil smirk.

Johnny's smile dimmed a bit. _"I don't even want to think about what those two might be cooking up!"_ He considered suspiciously. He'd narrowly avoided the awkward ordeal Dixie and Brackett's remarks could have foisted on him. With the tenor of the previous conversation tinting his perceptions, naturally Johnny, surprised at finding Shelby with Roy to begin with, might find his thoughts turn to morbid curiosity and misgiving.

"Now Roy….uh… Don't you go flirting with my girl; hear me?" Maybe a little teasing would change any uncomfortable subject floating in the air.

Shelby too observed Johnny's discomfort. _"Hmmm…wonder what he thought we were saying?" _Shelby knew that before Johnny's entrance, Roy had only been joking about Johnny's propensity to arrive at work barely on time occasionally, and thus speculating his partner would likely scoot into the hospital just before the predicted discharge time which Roy had already learned about from Dr. Brackett. Then turning to glance back at Roy she saw the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. _"Oh, Roy's teasing Johnny. Think I'll play along and see where this goes. It could be fun."_

Shelby smiled conspiratorially at Roy, making sure Johnny was watching the interaction. "Oh, he wasn't flirting with me Johnny. Roy's a married man. He'd never do that. But we were having a very interesting discussion." And she turned to smile sweetly at Johnny. "Why do you ask? Were your ears burning?"

Johnny could almost see the hook dangling before his nose, but he couldn't quite grasp what that hook might be. Roy was one of those people who Johnny trusted implicitly. Though they teased one another, Roy was pretty good at keeping his mouth shut when it came to sharing information with others. He didn't _think_ Roy would be carrying tales out of school. But, still a sliver of uncertainty lurked.

Johnny glanced at Roy. _"Nope, he doesn't look guilty. No one wears guilt better than Roy. But, then again….. Roy also has a great poker face. What embarrassing detail about me would he be likely to share? Hmmm….I'd better proceed with caution here. What superficial thing could he tell her to tease me that wouldn't be giving away any real information? Oh wait…I got it!"_

Turning his attention on Shelby now Johnny offered a tentative smile. With a voice that was as self assured as he could muster he said: "Ah, I know my partner. He wouldn't tell you anything bad about me." With this he brought his hand up to his chest in a gesture of heartfelt sincerity. "I'd trust Roy with my life." Johnny turned a trusting glance on Roy before continuing. "So, he must have been sharing something fun with you. Let me see….Oh I know, Roy told you I'd be late huh?"

Roy had been observing Johnny as he first considered what might be going on, and then while Johnny was talking with Shelby. These two men knew one-another oh too well. Roy saw the uncertainty flicker across Johnny's face followed by a look of cogitation, and then to Roy's internal delight an assured expression of inate trust. _"What do ya know. That partner of mine does trust me after all. Hmmm…. Finally!" _Roy's resolve for teasing Johnny in that moment melted away.

Roy offered Johnny a brilliant smile. "Got it in one partner!"

Johnny and Roy traded a look that was unreadable by Shelby. For the men involved in the silent interaction, they both understood it as an affirmation of the depth of trust they shared. As an observer all Shelby got from the exchange was a feeling of two men joining in some sort of united front.

"You guys are scary." She wise cracked.

Now both men turned their attention to her. Faux innocent colored their countenance. Roy's animated blue eyes stared widely at Shelby while Johnny again placed a hand upon his heart in mock wounding.

"Oh please! Don't give me those innocent "moi" expressions. You know, before I ever met you two I'd heard stories about you, and your silent communication thing. But I always thought the hospital gossip was exaggerated. Now standing here watching you two, I see what they mean. You boy's must be somethin' else in the field."

"Oh yes, that they are." A voice remarked from the doorway.

All eyes turned to see Dixie McCall entering with a wheelchair. "So what's up? I'd have thought you two would have already flown the coup. Is everything all right?" Dixie parked the wheelchair and stepped up to the side of Roy's bed to place an inquisitive hand on Roy's forehead as if checking for fever.

Roy hastily spoke up. "Uh, no….nothing wrong. I'm great. Can't wait to get out of here! My partner came in though and got things all off track being nosey about my visit with Shelby. He walked in and caught the end of our conversation, and naturally figured since we were laughing we must surely be talking about him."

Johnny's stance morphed into an indignant pose.

Dixie turned wise and knowing eyes on Johnny, and lifted a delicately arched brow in silent questioning.

"Now wait just a minute! What's a guy to think when he steps into a room where folks are laughing, and then they stop talking suddenly when he comes in? And besides, I was right! They had been talking about me." Johnny began a defensive rant.

Dixie turned to the other two in the room, her question unspoken but apparent never the less.

Roy shrugged sheepishly while ducking his head. Shelby blushed, a little although her face wore a small wicked smirk.

Dixie placed both hands on her hips, adopting an authoritative posture. Only the twinkle of humor in her blue eyes and the slight upturning of the corners of her mouth betrayed her. "You all be nice to Johnny. He worked a tough 24 hour shift before getting up to come over here and rescue Roy." And then she reached over and rubbed gentle soothing circles on Johnny's back.

Expressive brown eyes beheld Dixie then. He seriously doubted the sincerity of her sympathetic display. Catching a clear view of the expression she wore, he quickly confirmed she was also gently teasing him. She always knew exactly what to say to lighten any mood. Silent chuckles tickled through him. "All right! You people are all just too funny! Ha ha ha! Now if you don't mind, I don't have all day to be fooling around here. I need to get this guy home." He finished by jerking a thumb toward Roy.

"Well let's get to it then." Dixie exclaimed walking back over to retrieve the wheelchair.

Dixie and Shelby cajoled Roy through a change from his hospital gown into some loose fitting sweat pants, a t-shirt and light jacket. Next, with Johnny and Shelby's help, Roy was transferred from the hospital bed into the wheelchair.

During the process of changing and moving, a few grumbles were heard from the patient. But the two nurses handled him with their usual efficient aplomb. A bit of flirting, some motherly tsking and steady urging accomplished the required steps, though not without a few eye rolls, blushes and heavy sighs from Roy.

While the ladies were handling Roy's attire, Johnny gathered all his personal items and tucked them into a small duffle he'd brought. The medical supplies and discharge orders Brackett had passed along were also stowed, and when Roy was at last seated in the wheelchair the duffle was placed in his lap.

Dixie handed over control of the wheelchair to Johnny, and the quartet of friends moved out into the hospital corridor toward the elevator. Comfortable conversation passed between the foursome while they traveled down to the Emergency Room. With the opening of elevator doors three of the travelers headed for the exit while Dixie returned to work.

Johnny and Shelby had already discussed exactly how they would get Roy home from the hospital. As Shelby had a 4 door Chevrolet Impala, the couple had decided it might be easier to use her car for this trip.

Navigating Roy into the car with his as yet unusable wrists, sore ribs and casted leg was an awkward ordeal. When he was finally settled in the rear seat, Roy was exhausted. While Shelby and Johnny were stowing the wheelchair and a walker in the trunk, Roy wearily brooded. Even with the pointers from the folks in PT, just the simple act of getting into a car was almost overwhelming. How on earth was he going to cope with life at home?

Shelby climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. Johnny settled into the front passenger's seat and quickly looked over his shoulder to check on Roy. Catching on to Roy's dark mood immediately, Johnny couldn't help but quirk a silently questioning brow.

Pressing his lips together angrily, Roy gave a small negative head nod.

Now Johnny raised both brows.

Roy's gaze flicked toward Shelby, and then back to Johnny. Another negative head shake.

"We'll have you home in a few minutes partner." Johnny said. Silently he nodded his understanding. Johnny got it. Knowing Roy as he did, he could almost read the thoughts behind that stormy face.

The transition from hospital to home had thus far been embarrassing for Roy, and Johnny could easily guess now Roy's thoughts were beginning to attempt to organize around how basic tasks would be handled now that he was headed home.

Roy rolled his eyes at Johnny, and let out a heavy sigh, which of course caused his ribs to stab at him.

Johnny offered a small grin and slight shoulder shrug. Yeah, it sucked to be Roy right now.

Shelby and Johnny made comfortable conversation as they traveled. In a few short minutes they arrived at Roy's place to discover Hank Stanley's car already parked on the curb.

Upon seeing his Captain's car parked in the driveway, Roy remarked: "Huh, wonder what Cap is doing here."

Johnny had the passenger's door open and was in the process of getting out of the car. Opening the door for the back seat he bent down to speak to Roy. "Oh, he wanted to be here to make sure you got settled. I think Emily was bringing supper over for you guys anyway, and when Cap found out you were coming home, he decided to tag along."

Roy rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth. He'd just bet Cap came over by chance, NOT! This all had to be part of their "master plan" to take care of Roy. While Roy was appreciative of his friends thoughtful caring, and the great efforts they seemed to be making on his behalf, the undeniable humiliation factor of being so in need of care grated on Roy's sensibilities still.

Johnny didn't miss the eye roll, and the unhappy expression that crossed Roy's face. Smiling congenially at Roy, but with serious eyes denoting the sincerity of his words, Johnny met Roy's gaze and softly remarked: "It's only temporary Pally. Keep remembering that. Besides, we are not letting you or your family go through this mess alone. So you might as well just calm down and get through this. We are not leaving you until you are able to handle things on your own."

Johnny imagined he could almost see steam coming out of Roy's ears at this point. It was like viewing a real people version of one of those cartoon characters in a similar state of mind.

Through clenched teeth Roy muttered "I don't need your help! I could manage on my own!" Even as he uttered the words Roy knew it was just his helpless frustration and independent pride talking. But he couldn't help his anger in that moment.

Unfortunately for Roy, Johnny too knew what was going on. He smiled at Roy holding a finger up in a 'one moment please' gesture. Then he walked around to Roy's side of the car where Shelby had now parked the wheelchair. Opening the door Johnny leaned in and wrapped his arms around Roy's chest preparing to remove him from the car. Before moving an inch, and while his mouth was next to his partner's ear Johnny murmured in a resolute and somehow comforting voice. "I get it Roy, but we're still gonna do it this way. You have my permission to hate me for a couple days, and if you want to yell at me later I'll be around all day tomorrow. Until then, let's get you in the house and settled." And Johnny began to pull Roy from the car toward the wheelchair.

Roy bit his lip in frustration. He knew Johnny was only trying to help. But oh the humiliation of needing the help! As his partner settled him in the wheelchair Roy exhaled a long sigh, followed by a wince of pain caused when broken ribs protested the sigh. "This sucks!" He growled only loud enough for Johnny to hear.

Johnny grinned at him. "Don't I know it Pally! Don't I know it."

The car door was slammed closed, and they were headed for the house.

**Authors Note: **Well, you got to see at least the beginning of Shelby and Johnny's afternoon together. Have no fear, there'll be more. But this chapter was getting really long, so I felt this was a good breaking point. You know what they always say…."leave 'em wanting more." Thanks for hanging in there!


	42. Chapter 42

**Fragile Chapter 42**

Just before the trio of new arrivals reached the front door of the house, the portal was opened by none other than Hank Stanley.

"Well look whose home!" Cap called to Roy. "I'll bet you are glad to be out of Rampart, huh?"

As annoyed as Roy was, his Captain's warm greeting brought a half hearted smile to Roy's face. Besides, to do anything other than acknowledge his bosses remark positively would have been rude. "Hey Cap. Yup, it's good to be out of that place."

"Well get on in here than!" Stanley paired his words with action by stepping down from the single step up onto the small porch and lifting the front of Roy's wheelchair while Johnny lifted the back creating a smooth ride over the bump.

Roy had walked up and down that single step for years. He'd even pushed a wheelchair over it before. But now finding himself in the wheelchair being lifted over the step Roy couldn't help but notice that stair, and consider all the others in his home. Funny how a change in perspective brought awareness to different angles and issues.

"_Great! I'd never realized how wheelchair unfriendly my home is. There is no way I'll be able to get upstairs to my bedroom."_ Roy huffed a frustrated sigh. _"Guess I'll have to sleep downstairs in the guest room."_ Roy darkly considered. _"It's either the guest room, or ask my friends to carry me upstairs where I'll end up being stranded until I can walk down those stairs on my own. And who knows how long that'll be."_ Roy sighed again. He had been thrilled at the prospect of gaining his freedom from Rampart, but now was becoming painfully aware that returning home would mean he'd be even more dependent on his friends and family for help. He began to glumly wonder if he would have been better off staying in the hospital. At least there in the past day or so he had gained a small measure of independence from relying on his friends.

"Stop sulking." Johnny's voice ordered softly in his ear. "We'll make things work, and you'll live through it partner. I promise."

Roy jumped, startled at the nearness and accuracy of the voice in his ear. He had to chuckle softly. Sometimes it really did seem his partner could hear his thoughts. _"Johnny knows me too well."_

"That's better. You just hold on to the notion all this is very temporary." That oh too familiar voice comforted.

"All right, all right." Roy growled softly.

Johnny chuckled as he stood upright. "Now where would you like to sit Roy? Want to stay in the wheelchair, sit on the couch, or would you like to take a nap? You must be tired; this is the most you've moved around in a few days."

Roy exhaled loudly expressing frustration. "_Johnny's acting like him hauling me in and out of a wheelchair is just the way things are going to be. Honestly! I am not the one who is supposed to need all this help!"_ But even in his own grumbling thoughts, the ever present physical reminders of his current disability would not allow much room for denial. _"I'm stuck with this situation, and somehow it's even worse now that I'm home. I mean, here Cap and Emily are seeing me like this…. And Johnny hovering, now Shelby here to witness just for good measure. Aaaaah! And I CAN'T make this nightmare go away. I'm still stuck in this wheelchair. Still can't move myself around. I hate this! I hate this! I HATE THIS!"_

A warm solid hand landed on Roy's shoulder rousing him from his inner turmoil. Roy looked up into his Captain's concerned eyes.

"Careful there pal, if looks could kill all your houseplants would now be dead and Gage there would be vaporized. How about we get you comfortable so you can rest a while before dinner? I'm bettin' you are exhausted. Things'll likely seem a whole lot better after a nap."

With a conciliatory sigh, Roy nodded meekly. "Yeah, sure Cap. How about the sofa? You're right; I am tired and wouldn't mind a nap. But I can nap on the sofa, and then still enjoy everyone's company before and after napping."

"Smart choice." Johnny agreed.

Together Johnny and Captain Stanly helped Roy from the wheelchair. Two people assisting made things easier because one man could support each forearm and allow Roy the dignity of doing most of the moving. Though participating with the transfer in this fashion caused Roy's ribs some discomfort, still he found it preferable to being bodily lifted helplessly the way he had been when Johnny removed him from the car as if he'd been a victim being rescued from an MVA.

After situating Roy on the sofa with his injured leg propped on a pillow on the coffee table in front of him, Johnny retrieved the remainder of Roy's supplies and belongings from Shelby's car and took them into the guest room or "Johnny's room" as they had come to call it. After stowing the walker in the closet, Johnny put away medical supplies, and placed other accommodating materials within easy reach though discretely away from obvious view. Personal effects were stowed neatly, and Johnny left the empty duffle under the edge of the bed before carrying the medication bottle into the DeSoto kitchen to store in the cabinet where medication was placed safely out of reach of the children.

In the living room, JoAnne hobbled over to greet her husband once he was seated on the sofa. It was so good to have him home. She sat down next to Roy, just to be close to him and smiled up at him when he turned to look down into her eyes. The couple exchanged a peck on the lips, and reveled in one another's nearness, at least as much as they were willing to while in the presence of guests in their home.

Looking around the living room, Roy wondered aloud where his children were.

"Eileen took them to the movies and out for pizza. She thought it would be a nice treat, and this way you'd have an opportunity to get settled in good before you saw them." JoAnne offered. "Besides, this is her last evening with us. She's got to go home tomorrow morning, so she wanted them to have a little special time with her before she left."

After they had gotten Roy settled comfortably on the sofa, Hank and Emily graciously retreated to the kitchen with the excuse they'd be preparing dinner. Johnny and Shelby said their goodbye's too.

"We are gonna' get out of your hair for a while." Johnny remarked. "I'll be back tomorrow morning bright and early. Don't worry about letting me in, I'll use your extra key if you don't mind."

Roy arched a questioning brow and a sardonic smile quirked the corners of his mouth. "And if I do mind?" He did intend for it to come across as teasing, but the hard edge in his voice couldn't be avoided as his frustration at the entire situation leaked out toward Johnny.

Johnny's brows rose in surprise, and for a flash of a second he stood open mouthed not quite knowing how to answer.

JoAnne poked Roy's uninjured ribs with a finger offering him a displeased glare. Then she turned to Johnny and answered for Roy. "He doesn't mind, and even if he does you are welcome to come on in sweetheart."

Johnny leaned down and kissed JoAnne softly on the forehead. "At least someone wants me around." He grumbled teasingly.

Roy adopted an innocent demeanor. "What?" He grumped in response to JoAnne's rib poke. "He knew I was teasing."

JoAnne poked Roy again, this time with a bit more force. "Sure you were grumpy. Sure you were."

"Ouch! That hurts. You shouldn't be mistreating an injured man here!" Roy griped, but a genuine grin now reached his face.

"All right you two! Behave yourselves. What will Cap think?" Johnny cracked. "We are out of here. I'll see ya in the mornin'."

Johnny and Shelby left Roy's house headed back to pick up Johnny's car. They were going to caravan back to Shelby's place where she would drop off her car, and then Johnny had told Shelby he'd take her out for the evening. He had not however been particularly specific about the dinner plans; only informing her that dress for the evening would be casual.

While the couple traveled back toward Rampart they chatted amiably. Shelby was curious about the relationship between Johnny and Roy. They at once seemed to be the best of friends while she couldn't miss the adversarial nature of the latest communications she'd witnessed between the two men.

"So Johnny, Roy doesn't seem to be, well…. I mean, he uh…." She began. But she couldn't quite come up with a tactful way to ask what she really wanted to know, so she decided to throw caution to the wind finally. "You guys seem so close. When you were in the hospital, I could tell he cared a great deal about your well being. But now he seems, well….angry with you?"

Johnny patiently listened while Shelby cast around for words to make her quarry. When he heard where she was headed with the conversation, he couldn't help the soft laughter that escaped his lips. "Ah, I think you may have misunderstood Shelby. Roy and I are best friends. He's a good guy from the word go. It's just, well he's usually the guy left standing after someone gets injured. He's used to being the care taker. I guess I…. uh, well I guess I tend to rush in where fools fear to tread. So I….well, um….I tend to …. pay the price for being fearless. Let's just say I've taken more than a couple trips flat on my back in an ambulance. Afterward Roy's the one who always has to harangue me into following Doctor's orders. He's just not used to being in the patient role. I guess he's having a hard time adjusting."

Shelby cast Johnny a sideways glance. "I guess. Don't you mind him fussing at you? I mean, he has given you a pretty tough time this evening."

Johnny laughed outright.

Shelby's askance gaze fell on him then. "What's so funny? Roy has been really rough on you. You don't have to put up with someone you are trying to help being that rude to you."

Still grinning Johnny turned to make eye contact with Shelby. "Now Shelby, you are a nurse. You know how patients always vent frustration on the people around them they feel closest to. I'll bet you see it all the time at work."

Shelby sat quietly for a second. "Well, I suppose… I guess I've never been around anyone long enough to really get a good taste of the fireworks."

Johnny shook his head in a negative nod. "Well, likely you haven't seen the full extent of them in this situation either. I'm sure I'll be the one around for that bit of fun."

Shelby's expression still held confusion. "So, I don't get it."

Johnny's eyebrows rose in a silent 'oh?' "What?"

"What's so funny then? While ago when I asked you about all this you laughed like it was the funniest thing you'd ever heard." She pursued.

Again Johnny's chuckle echoed through the car. "Oh, well….He's only giving me a small taste of what he's gotten from me in the past. Uh….ya' see….I…Uh…..well… Let's just say Roy tells me I don't make a great patient, and….he's ah….probably right."

Shelby giggled. O.K., given what she'd seen and heard about Johnny Gage as a patient, she believed that particular bit of information. "So, why don't you make a good patient Johnny?" Her voice held a tease, though there was a serious edge to the question.

Johnny squirmed uncomfortably, and didn't answer her immediately. He wasn't really wild about delving into the psychological inner workings of Johnny Gage.

After an extended pause in which Shelby found a parking spot near Johnny's Rover she slid the car into park and turned to look directly at Johnny. "So?..."

Johnny cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh….well….Uh… Ya know, I guess it's complicated." He offered her his most charming smile. "Uh...tell ya what, let me think about it for a bit and get back to you with that answer."

Shelby grinned. "Uh huh….. That sounded like evasion to me Johnny."

He reached over and opened the door on his side of the car. Lithely he hopped from the car, turning briefly to answer her. "Maybe." And then glanced over his shoulder to look meaningfully at his Rover and then back toward Shelby. "Say, let's get going. I've got some big plans for us this evening and standing around in the parking lot of Rampart was not included in the itinerary."

She giggled at his obvious discomfort, and his skillful way of avoiding giving an answer. Yep, this was not a favorite topic for Johnny Gage. In his line of work, this man was exposed to danger every day. Why would being a patient bother him so? Shelby silently vowed to do further research.

After a little car ballet, the couple finally ended up in Johnny's Rover. "So? Where are you taking me tonight?" Shelby coyly inquired.

Johnny grinned playfully. "Well, I was thinkin' maybe you'd like to have a little picnic. Sound good?"

"Hmmm…..that depends. Where did you have in mind?"

"Since this can't be a late night 'cause I've gotta be at Roy's pretty early, I was thinkin' maybe we could take a nice short hike. I know a wonderful scenic spot where we can look out over the city and basically have the place to ourselves. What do you think?"

It had been a cloudless lovely, if somewhat cool day. With such perfect weather a romantic evening picnic sounded fantastic to Shelby. "Sounds wonderful! I will put myself in your hands."

"Oh, really now?" Johnny teased suggestively. "I might hold you to that."

Shelby giggled. "That's what I was hoping."

Johnny gulped and had to pause to regain his composure. "Well all right then!" His smile caused his entire face to glow.

Johnny found his way to Palisades Park where he chose the head of an easy hiking trail to leave his Rover. Grabbing a backpack, a couple of blankets and a small cooler from the back of the truck, the couple set off on a pleasant walk in the evening twilight. Comfortable conversation flourished in the calm twilight stroll, and Shelby found her companion became quite relaxed and entertaining when surrounded by nature. He seemed to unwind into the easy comfort of their measured steps on the gravel path, and eventually even reached out to take her delicate hand into his warm strong grasp.

The trail Johnny had chosen led upward, winding around until the couple emerged onto the crest of a hill. When they first topped the ridge of the knoll Shelby was treated to a stunning panoramic view of the Santa Monica pier where evening was giving way to nightfall. Golden and amber remnants of warm sunlight rippled off the water, and twinkling lights began to illuminate the growing depths of purplish darkness as it encroached on what had been the brilliance of a fiery sunset.

Finding a soft spot in lush green grass, Johnny spread one of the blankets out for the two to use as a picnic area. Upon this magic carpet he laid a light repast of crisp apples, luscious juicy grapes, tangy sharp cheese, delicate crunchy crackers and a robust bottle of delicious earthy red wine. The couple sat together nibbling food and sipping wine while shimmering stars appeared in the growing darkness of the evening sky. Warm laughter, pleasant conversation and the afterglow of a wonderful Cabernet created for Shelby a vision of the perfect date with this charming man.

As the evening wore on, and night's chill set in, Johnny wrapped himself and Shelby in a warm soft blanket while allowing her to recline against his chest. They laughed and chatted until after ten p.m. Eventually verbal conversation waned giving way to unspoken communication. Gentle knowledgeable hands stroked soothing patterns on willing skin. Warm caresses, deliciously tingling nerves and accelerated breathing created for the couple a delightful dessert of amorous connection.

At home later that same night as Shelby floated through her nightly ritual in preparation for sleep, her mind could not help but drift back into those warm embraces and murmured endearments distinguishing this evening as classically unique from any other date she had encountered. Johnny was a gentle kind soul who had treated her with tenderness and respect. Why every woman in the hospital wasn't already in love with this man was beyond anything the enamored woman could fathom.

**Authors Note: **Did I succeed? Were you left _wanting _more? ;-)

Wonder if I should write a more adult version of that final scene. Could be fun….but then again, leaving you to imagine your own specifics could be just as effective. Can't you just see those big brown eyes, up close and personal; feel the tickle of soft breath as small kisses leave a delicious tingling ribbon of sensation down the back of a tender shoulder…. Oh yeah….


	43. Chapter 43

**Fragile Chapter 43**

When Johnny and Shelby made their exit, JoAnne leaned into her husband's side. "Are you tired Roy?" She softly quarried.

Roy sighed heavily. "Yeah, I guess."

JoAnne moved away from Roy to get a better view of his face. "How about I go help Emily and Hank with dinner so you can take a nap?"

Turning to look into JoAnne's emerald eyes, Roy's shoulder's sagged. "Yeah, I guess." Reluctance echoed in his reply. He'd been enjoying being physically near JoAnne. It had been almost a week since he'd been home, and he had missed contact with her.

JoAnne snuggled into his side again, this time wrapping her arms around him in a tender embrace. "I missed you too honey. But you are pretty surly right now, and I'd guess it's because you are worn out. Coming home from Rampart can be pretty stressful, even if you really want to get home. I remember how I felt when I first got home. Glad to be here, but irritable and exhausted; and I only had to deal with you, the kids and Johnny. You came home to a house full of people, not the least of which being your boss and his wife. Get a little rest so you can nap out some of the grumpies, o.k.?"

Roy sighed with resignation. He knew she was accurate. "All right."

At that moment Hank Stanley appeared in the living room with a glass of water and Roy's medication bottle. "Say Roy, when did you have your medication last?" He quarried.

Roy looked up to see his Captain standing over him. "Uh, I guess at two or three this afternoon."

Hank's bushy brows knitted together as he read the directions on the bottle. "Well, I'd bet it's about time for some of this stuff then." Cap opened the bottle and poured the appropriate number of pills into the cap.

Roy sighed heavily. "Yeah, probably." He mumbled reluctantly while reaching up to accept the meds from Stanley. _"Oh yeah, now I get how Johnny must feel when I do this to him. I wasn't feeling all that alert anyway, and this'll just make it worse. Taking drugs wouldn't be my first choice right about now. But it's not like I can tell Cap I'm just not in the mood for this stuff because I already feel helpless enough. Oh no, that's not gonna work. And if I make an excuse, he'll know that's what I'm doing, and that probably won't fly. And even if he somehow bought some lame explanation as to why I don't need pain meds right at this moment, JoAnne would certainly call me out. But this stupid stuff makes me loopy, and how am I gonna make conversation, or eat dinner or be a good host if I'm wasted while my guests are here. Maybe I could just skip this dose, and take some later after the Stanley's leave. No, that doesn't even make sense. I'd never get that maneuver past JoAnne. …. Oh my gosh! I'm turning into Johnny!"_

Roy couldn't stop himself from a negative head nod then, and a wry expression that crossed his face. _"What am I thinking? The meds will help, I know they will. I'm a paramedic for crying out loud. I realize the value of pain management….. Just wish it didn't need managing right at this very minute. Gah… That partner of mine has been a bad influence on me."_

"You planning on taking that stuff pal, or did you need my help there?" Cap 'offered'; one bushy brow climbed his forehead in questioning.

Stanley's words snapped Roy from his revere abruptly. "Oh, uh… sorry Cap. I was just thinking, that's all."

"Ah." Cap said allowing an extended silence to make the point that he was waiting for Roy to comply.

Roy sighed again, and obligingly dumped the tablets into his bandaged palm. He traded the now empty medicine lid for the glass of water Cap had been holding, and washed the pills down with a few gulps. Handing the cup back to Stanley, Roy smiled sheepishly and murmured "Uh, thanks Cap."

"No problem pal, glad to do it." Hank responded with a warm smile. Now let's get you comfortable so you can rest before dinner. The top was replaced on the container, and the bottle and glass were briefly placed on the end table while Hank bent to begin the process of helping Roy relocate.

While the procedure of moving commenced, Roy ruminated on the experience. _'Uh boy, and I thought being at Rampart was humiliating. It's great to have friends and family, but when they won't just go away and leave me alone I wonder if being a hermit might not be a better option. This is absolutely embarrassing. Cap having to help me get positioned on the sofa for heaven's sake! Uh….. And at some point I'm going to have to go to the restroom….. How on earth is that going to get accomplished? I couldn't even roll that damned wheelchair to the toilet myself if I wanted to. Whose bright idea was it to have a two story house with a sunken living room? I will need help even getting up to the guest room. Oh God…..I so hate this!"_

JoAnne had stood from the sofa to allow Stanley space to reposition Roy's casted leg from the coffee table to the couch. She intently observed the play of emotions across her husband's face. His lack of enthusiasm for the experience could easily be seen. She couldn't help the soft smile that showed itself on her face. Yes, Mr. Care Taker was having some problems assimilating his current reality.

When Roy was in a more comfortable pose JoAnne covered him with an afghan and kissed him gently on the forehead. "We'll have dinner in a couple hours. I know you are tired honey. You rest. I'll wake you in a little while, o.k."

Captain Stanley picked up the medication bottle and water glass, and escorted JoAnne from the room leaving Roy a quiet space to sleep.

Roy silently nodded in agreement even as his eyes drifted closed. It had already been a very long day, and it wasn't even over. His wife was correct; he was completely depleted. His anger and frustration at the entire situation had sapped any energy reserves he might have had. Add to that drain the stress of actually physically traveling home and then having his Captain greet him at the front door; the sum total of the equation equaled one pooped paramedic.

Roy had no idea how much time had passed when he felt JoAnne's gentle touch rousing him from a deep slumber.

JoAnne smoothed wisps of hair away from Roy's eyes gently. "Hey there sweetheart. You about ready to wake up for a while?" She had settled her petite frame on the edge of the sofa next to Roy's thighs.

Blearily Roy cracked open his eyes. "Mmmm….. Uh….I guess. What time is it anyway?"

"It's a little past eight." She replied while rising unsteadily from the sofa. Magically her crutches appeared in her hands.

"You about ready for some chow Roy?" It was Cap's voice. Roy's addled brain attempted to grasp why Cap would be calling him to chow while he was napping on his own sofa at home.

After a few moments of cloudy memory alignment, finally Roy's thoughts organized themselves around the events of the day. _"Oh yeah, home from Rampart now. Cap and Emily are here. Oh great….That's right, I'm the basket case today. Uhf!"_ Roy frowned and attempted to sit up from his horizontal position on the sofa, which turned out to be a bad idea since all he managed to do was rest weight on his sore wrists and with a groan of pain fall back on to the pillow.

Strong arms reached down and slid Roy's upper body into an upright position. "Now Roy, that wasn't such a good idea was it." Cap's deep voice at once chided and teased.

"Guess not, huh." Roy grumbled softly.

"How about you let Emily and I help you into this wheelchair so you can come and sit at the table for dinner?"

Roy pondered the statement that seemed to be phrased as a suggestion yet he knew it to be a mandate. "Sure Cap, thanks."

Together supporting a forearm each, Emily and Hank Stanley put Roy into his wheelchair and wheeled him into the DeSoto dining area. When the chair was parked at the table, Emily handed Roy a warm wet wash cloth to clean his hands. He accepted the rag, and careful not to get the ace bandages wrapped around his palms wet, Roy washed his hands. He would have loved to remove those irritating wraps, but knew his tender wrists still needed the support they offered. With a silent grimace, Roy laid the cloth aside, and took his dinner napkin in hand to place in his lap in preparation to eat.

Emily and Hank had prepared a marvelous pork roast with all the fixings. Fresh veggies steamed lightly in butter, flaky crescent rolls and a fragrant delicately flavored rice pilaf made for a delightful meal. Food was passed around, and JoAnne helped Roy by serving a plate for her husband. Roy's wrists had healed sufficiently by now so that he was able to feed himself successfully. Conversation around the table was light and entertaining, and eventually Roy found himself able to relax and enjoy the company of these two wonderful friends. Any thoughts he had of anticipated embarrassing situations yet to come later in the evening were temporarily banished while the foursome enjoyed their meal.

When appetites were sated, and conversation had found a languid pause Emily rose from the table declaring she would begin cleanup. JoAnne indicated she would help, and the men were sent to entertain themselves in the living room. Unbeknownst to Roy, while he had slept, Emily, Hank and JoAnne had discussed Roy's current predicament. The group decision was to let Hank visit with Roy and help him make peace with current circumstances while the ladies handled KP. While confrontation was not the intention, denial would not be an option as certain physical realities had to be dealt with immediately.

Hank Stanley rolled Roy's chair back into the living room. "Want to sit on the sofa Roy?" He offered.

Not relishing the idea of being lifted and hauled around like an invalid, Roy shook his head negatively. "Nah Cap. It'll probably just be easier if I sit in the chair here."

"You sure Roy?" Hank questioned. "That thing doesn't look all that comfortable to me, and I would be happy to help you out."

"No, I'm good." Roy indicated setting his jaw into a stubborn grimace.

Hank moved Roy's chair over to face one of the recliner's in the living room. "All right then." And Hank seated himself on the front edge of the recliner with his elbows resting on his thighs so that he was leaning toward Roy's chair. "Mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Roy realized that whatever Stanley wanted to say to him was going to be said, even if Roy answered that rhetorical question negatively. "Sure Cap… Uh, what's on your mind?"

Stanley cleared his throat and paused for a long moment before beginning. Pinning his senior paramedic with commanding eye contact, Hank began to speak. "Look Roy, I can see you are having a hard time with all this. I get it, I really do. But there's not much we can do about the way things are right now, so the best thing to do here is figure out how to get through these next few days."

Roy gulped. He wasn't sure what specific things about his current situation Cap wanted to discuss, but the directness of the approach surprised him. "Uh…..I uh….umm….I'm not quite sure I know exactly what you mean." Roy hedged.

Stanley took a deep breath, and allowed himself to exhale slowly before he continued. "Sure ya do Roy. Let me put it to you another way then. If I had been the one injured in that fall, what would you do for me?"

Again Roy swallowed hard. Somehow Roy realized this conversation wasn't going to end up being at all pleasant for him, but the option to not participate wasn't offered. Quietly he considered his Captain's question for a second and dove in. "I'd make sure you were taken care of."

"Yeah, you would Roy. It's what you do. You're the guy we all count on to be there." Stanley affirmed. "So how exactly would you make sure I was taken care of Roy?"

Roy shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "I don't know, I guess it'd depend on what was needed."

"Now Roy, you and I have known one another way too long for you to start getting evasive on me. You know what you'd do, and so do I. I've watched you take care of others, that partner of yours for example, too many times to count. You would cajole, push, wheedle and stubbornly insist that no matter how uncomfortable, unpleasant or even embarrassing things might seem for me or whoever was the designated patient, you'd make certain proper care was given. And you'd get care taken whether I, or whoever was the designated patient, liked it or not. You'd do it for our own good, even if we couldn't or wouldn't. Am I right?"

Roy's chin fell to rest upon his chest. He knew Cap was correct, and he also now saw where this little talk was headed. Silence reigned for more than a few moments then as Roy struggled internally to come to terms with his Captain's words, and the implications this discussion would undoubtedly have for Roy DeSoto in the coming minutes, hours and even days.

"Roy?" Cap's voice was warm and gentle now, all traces of the commanding edge gone.

Roy lifted his head to meet his commander's eyes. "Yeah Cap, I would." And his shoulders slumped while his chin again sank to his chest in silent surrender. He knew when he was beat, and there was absolutely no wiggle room offered here.

"Son, I know it's hard to accept help. But sometimes we all need to. It's the way life goes. We're just not meant to be in charge all the time. No matter how much we plan, that fickle finger of fate can turn the tables on us just like that." Cap snapped his fingers to illustrate the fleeting instant required for life to take a sudden twist.

Roy sighed dejectedly. "I realize that Cap." He offered softly. "It's just….."

"Things like this are not supposed to happen to you?"

Roy's silence spoke volumes.

"You ever wonder how many of our victims echo that same sentiment as we are dragging them out of whatever situation they've gotten themselves into?" Stanly quarried.

Roy sighed again. Raising his head, he met Stanley's gaze. "Yeah. Well, it's a whole different thing when I end up as the victim. Know what I mean?"

"That I do pal, that I do." Stanley agreed. Then Stanley clapped both his hands together in that way his men had come to know as a signal a new project was about to begin. "So, how's about we get you cleaned up and changed so you'll be ready to hit the sack in a bit."

Roy dropped his chin to his chest one more time, this time wearing a weak grin as he shook his bowed head. Yeah, he was pretty screwed.

Resolutely he lifted his chin and nodded affirmatively to Captain Stanley. "Is that an order cap?"

Stanley chuckled softly. "Well it can be if it needs to. I'd prefer it simply be a comment on what's coming next."

"Well I guess I'll have to put myself in your capable hands then." Roy surrendered gracefully.

Cap scratched his chin as if in deep thought. "Well, no….not really. I mean, if you want I can go do dishes and Emily can get you cleaned up. It's really up to you."

"_Uh boy! That'd be out of the frying pan and into the fire."_ Roy thought, only expressing the sentiment with an eye roll. "Oh yeah, thanks Cap. Your wife seeing me undressed is not exactly ideal. Guess I'll take you."

"You my friend are a wise man." Stanley said while standing to move Roy's wheelchair.


	44. Chapter 44

**Fragile Chapter 44**

Saturday morning Roy awoke slowly to the smell of coffee and bacon. He'd been tucked into bed the evening before by Hank Stanley in the DeSoto guest room because the steps leading to the upstairs bedrooms wouldn't be attainable for at least another few days. The guest room wasn't far from the kitchen, and Roy figured the breakfast smells were likely what had roused him; though he decided morning restroom needs might have played a role in the waking process as well.

Availing himself of the clever jury rigged toilet arrangement contrived by the good people of the Rampart's Occupational Therapy department; Roy took a few seconds to empty his bursting bladder before anyone else was around to witness the ritual. Lord knew he'd certainly had plenty of witnessing of personal affairs to last a lifetime in the past week, last night standing out prominently in recent memory as this particular spectator had been his Captain rather than a random nurse.

When the most urgent of personal needs had been accomplished, Roy replaced the clamp on the modified Foley bag he was to use to help himself accomplish basic restroom needs. The contraption was clever really. Roy smiled to himself while he mused that one just had to love those resourceful OT folks. They'd attached a small funnel and tubing to a disposable Foley bag, and provided a clamp to secure the whole affair when it had been used but was not yet ready to be disposed of. The whole thing was sanitary, relatively discreet and could simply be tossed in the trash after use. All that needed to be done was to attach a fresh bag, and voila, all was ready to begin anew. At least this simple task was now under his control anyway.

When Johnny had stowed his things the previous evening, Roy discovered that his thoughtful partner had placed the restroom arrangements in a small plastic tub, and slid them discreetly under the edge of the bed. Surprisingly for Roy, he also found some moist towelettes were provided to complete the ensemble. It seemed Johnny put some thought into making taking care of business as convenient as possible for Roy.

When he'd made himself more comfortable, Roy reached up and flipped on the bedside lamp. Glancing down at the bedside table he saw that someone had placed one of those hospital pitchers and a small cup on the night stand. Beside the water glass he found several recent magazines available to peruse. _"Well, they certainly tried to think of everything."_

The smell of breakfast made Roy's mouth water. Dinner had been a long time ago; at least that's what his stomach thought if the rumbling now coming from his belly was any indication. Roy sighed heavily. Now if he could only get out of bed and make his way to the kitchen.

Carefully Roy attempted to sit up in bed. He managed to move himself so he was more upright resting on his forearms, but this position caused his broken ribs to howl in vicious protest. Gritting his teeth, Roy attempted to ignore the pain, and carefully scooted his legs toward the edge of the bed. But plaster casts are heavy, a fact he'd conveniently forgotten, and his casted leg slid from the mattress with greater speed than he'd anticipated hitting the floor with a resounding thud that caused slicing agony to shoot up that leg.

Roy gasped in agony. _"Holy shit! That hurts! Now what genius?"_

By this point Roy was now propped awkwardly half upright on his forearms. Both his legs were hanging from his knees to his feet from the edge of the bed, and they were hopelessly entangled in the bed covers. In his slide sideways attempting to move his legs off the bed, Roy had managed to dislodge a couple of pillows. Now his shoulders hovered half over an empty bed, and half over two stacked pillows. _"Yeah, broken ribs and uneven turf. Not good!"_

Carefully he tried to wiggle himself over so he could attempt to push himself upright in the center of the bed. If he succeeded, he should end up sitting with his feet on the floor on the edge of the bed. But those pesky covers he was now lying half on and covered half in didn't slide. When he shimmied over them, they rolled up into an uncomfortable rope like wad under one side of his waist. The ball of covers was now pinned down by his left forearm which he was using to support himself.

To make matters worse, he'd been put into bed wearing boxers and a t-shirt. Not to be outdone by the rolling covers, his shorts had reacted to his wiggling by bunching and twisting so they were askew now, and severely binding in a most uncomfortable fashion. His t-shirt had also twisted itself up and the neckband seemed to be intent on strangling him while the bottom hem of the shirt had been dragged up almost to the bottom of his rib cage on one side, thus exposing his tummy.

With a pitiful whimper Roy attempted to roll to one side, and collapsed into a miserable heap. _"Oh, this is just great!"_

The thud of that plaster cast hitting the floor had gotten the attention of the cook. Johnny quickly laid down the tongs he'd just used to remove bacon from the griddle. Hastily he turned off the gas flame on the stove top, and headed for the guest room. Sliding open the room's pocket door he found his partner sprawled miserably cattycorner across the mattress, hanging partially on the bed hopelessly tangled in sheets and blankets.

"What the heck do ya think you're doin' Roy." Johnny gasped while almost leaping across the room to help his partner. "Are ya tryin' to kill yourself or somethin'?"

Johnny carefully untangled Roy's limbs from the cumbersome bed clothes, and lifted Roy's upper body so his partner was sitting in an upright position.

Though Johnny was as gentle and quick as he could possibly be while extricating Roy from the mess he'd made, pain's tell tale signs etched themselves across Roy's distressed features. With more than a note of sarcasm Roy snapped at Johnny. "No! I was trying to get out of this damned bed!"

Johnny stood before Roy now with his hands planted on his hips. Looking down upon his disheveled partner Johnny caught the symptoms of Roy's physical distress immediately, and the sarcastic tone of Roy's reply left little doubt about his partner's mental state. Decrees and scolding were definitely not going to work with Roy at this moment. The man looked positively whipped! Johnny chose a compassionate approach instead.

"Yeah, I've had the same problem in this bed before partner. It sort'a sucks you in and won't let you up. I'll give you a hint. Escape becomes a little more possible if you'll roll over on your side before ya' move much, and try to sit up from there by pushing up with your forearm. If you try it like you did, you end up with an almost fatal wedgie and can even fall to your death of embarrassment when that bottom sheet becomes un-tucked from that far corner over there…." Johnny pointed with his hand at the far corner of the mattress. "…. causing you to completely slide off into the floor."

Even as miserable as Roy was at that moment, he couldn't help but chuckle. Obviously Johnny spoke with the voice of experience. Roy wished he'd known what a problem this had been in the past. Maybe he could have done something to make getting out of this extra cushy bed easier for his partner when Johnny had been trapped here for days on end.

"Well thanks for the tip there partner." Roy replied with a voice still laced with laughter. "Wish you'd told me about this _before _I had to figure it out for myself."

Johnny shrugged good naturedly. "Well, uh…. It never occurred to me you might want ta know. I mean, I'm usually the one in that bed, not you. I just figured it was my problem, and you probably sort'a already knew about it, or maybe even engineered it that way so I'd stay in bed instead of tryin' to get up."

Roy huffed indignantly. "Come on now Johnny! I'm not that bad."

"Oh yeah? Wann'a bet?" Johnny sassed.

Roy shrugged and sighed. "Well, I guess now that I'm on the other side of the bed, I suppose I can see how you might get that idea." Roy relented. "Sorry."

Johnny chuckled softly and shrugged his shoulders again. "Don't be. I don't make a good patient at all, and I always figure you're doing whatever it takes to keep me in line until I can heal. It's annoying as hell, but I live through it. Besides, it's somehow comforting in some weird way. I mean, at least I always know someone is around who cares. You and JoAnne never leave any doubt about that for me in these situations."

Roy was touched to hear Johnny's words. It was true; he cared deeply for this man. But as hard as Johnny always fought being attended when he was ill or injured, Roy found himself a tiny bit surprised to realize Johnny was fully aware Roy really had always kept Johnny's best interests at heart in such situations.

"Ya know partner, you might have mentioned somewhere in all your complaining that you were aware I was holding you hostage for your own good." Roy couldn't help but complain. "I've always felt sort of like you were angry when I insist you get taken care of."

"Oh, I'm usually mad Roy, at least in the moment. But I guess on some levels I've always figured you meant well. You're a pain in the ass about the recovery process, but I've never suffered any permanent damage by going along with it. And you generally put up with my tantrums with good enough humor."

Roy considered Johnny's words for a few silent moments. Finally he replied. "Uh…..thanks? I guess."

Johnny grinned, if somewhat predatorily. "Oh, I don't know Roy. Ya might want to hold off on the thanks for a few days. If my experience in that bed holds any weight, I'm guessing you might be getting' angry with me a time or two in the next few days. Just keep on remembering, I'm doing it for your own good. That's what's kept me going in this room!"

"_Uh boy! Nice Johnny! I walked right into that didn't I?"_ With this insight, Roy scowled.

Johnny chuckled softly. "Yup, you stepped into that one with both feet partner. And for the record, I do realize how awkward and embarrassing this whole situation is. But hey, what are we gonna do my friend? Life goes on."

Then stepping toward Roy, Johnny said, "Now, let's see if we can first of all remedy the really uncomfortable looking wedgie you've got goin' there, and then get you cleaned up and ready to face your day."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Oh, great! Just what I needed. A nurse maid with attitude."

Bending over to eye level Johnny's brown eyes met and briefly held Roy's blues. "Actually, that's probably EXACTLY what you need partner."

In that moment and in the next few days Roy would learn as it turned out, Johnny's ideas about patient care differed from any nurse Roy had experienced in that Johnny was an exceptionally physically fit firefighter. A lift while putting on clothing from the waist down consisted of a partial fireman's carry with Roy's upper body draped over Johnny's shoulder while busy hands accomplished the task at hand. Toilet lift assists were similar in nature, and handled with the comfort of two friends who had dressed alongside one another for years in the locker room. Wound care and wrist dressing were dispatched with the practiced efficiency of an experienced paramedic, and medication administration was (much to Roy's astonishment) provided in a no nonsense timely manner that left little room for discussion on the part of the patient.

Roy couldn't help but wonder that if Johnny had needed to be his own patient, the outcome would likely have been explosive. As a care taker, the man was attentive, thoughtful and insufferably calm and good natured no matter what state of mind his unwitting patient might currently occupy. Roy would come to find his partner's easy manner absolutely maddening and unquestionably comforting.

Roy was clean, combed and sitting at the kitchen table in his wheelchair Saturday morning when JoAnne made her way down to breakfast. Eileen, Jennifer and Chris had gone out for one last Saturday morning treat before JoAnne's sister left town. Johnny and Roy were sipping coffee while chatting amiably about various topics. Stunningly, when JoAnne entered her kitchen, the grumpy husband she expected was nowhere to be found. Instead, the man she loved sat congenially enjoying the company of his paramedic partner at the breakfast table as she'd seen them on many occasions.

Carefully leaning over JoAnne kissed Roy on the forehead. "Good morning sir. Who are you and what have you done with my injured grouchy husband?"

Roy blushed, and glanced up to his wife. "Hey Jo." Raising an eyebrow he quarried, "Was I really that bad yesterday?"

JoAnne grimaced. "Uuummm…yeah…. You were. I guess you are feeling better this morning?"

The tinge of pink that had warmed Roy's ears crept up his neck into his cheeks. "Sorry honey. Yeah, I guess I'm feeling better now."

While the pair was conversing, Johnny stood and laid plates of food on the table. Before he sat back down, he walked over and retrieved Roy's medication from the cabinet above the fridge. "Well, I'd bet you're not totally feeling better. From the look on your face, I'd guess your little adventure this morning might have left you in need of some of this stuff. What do ya'say?" The question was rhetorical as Jonny unwaveringly opened the bottle and poured tablets into the lid.

Roy could only slowly nod his head from side to side in a gesture clearly expressing his awareness of the irony of this particular scene.

Johnny grinned. "What?" The look of angelic innocence that he adopted was hilarious.

JoAnne and Roy both burst into laughter.

The shooting pain that laughing caused in broken ribs forced Roy to pause briefly in his merriment, gasping for breath. With one extended hand he gestured for Johnny to hand over the meds.

"Hey! Ya need to cut it out with that laughing at your partner there Roy, at least until those ribs heal more." Johnny mock scolded while dumping the tablets into Roy's outstretched hand.

Roy hastily gulped the pills down with a swig of coffee before answering. "Honestly Johnny, I'm trying. But…."

Now Johnny blushed slightly. "Don't finish that sentence Roy. Yes, I get it. Hey! Maybe a little role reversal is good for the soul. Who knows? It might even make _me_ a better patient when the time comes around again."

Roy smiled at his best friend. "Well, I know for sure it'll make me a better care giver!"

Johnny's face took on a look of mock horror. "Oh God! I hope not. If you get 'mother hen' even more refined, I don't think I could stand it!"

Still giggling JoAnne caught both men in a semi stern glare. "All right children, cut it out. Let's eat before our food gets cold."


	45. Chapter 45

**Fragile Chapter 45**

Saturday at the DeSoto's passed in relative peace after the somewhat tumultuous beginning for Roy. Though he still wasn't thrilled at requiring someone's help to achieve even minor tasks, he found a way to accept the assistance with relatively good humor.

As Johnny had guessed, Roy was guilty of overestimating his abilities in consideration of the current status of his injuries. After Roy again attempting to right himself from a horizontal position from the sofa this time with similar disastrous results to the morning's event, Johnny resorted to an actual physical demonstration of an easier process for rising to a sitting position.

After sitting Roy up on the end of the sofa, Johnny plopped himself down full length on the couch with his feet draped over Roy's lap. Grinning up at Roy, Johnny waited for the inevitable grumble.

Roy first glowered down at the feet in his lap, and then turned with raised eyebrows to glare at Johnny. "Comfy?"

Johnny chuckled. "It'll do. But that's not the point. Apparently Pally, you don't do well with verbal directions. I'm thinkin' a demo might do the trick. I can't keep picking you up like some broken toy."

Roy rolled his eyes in response. "Oh, you think you're being funny huh?"

Johnny answered with a sly grin. "Watch and learn my friend, watch and learn." From his original position lying on his back, Johnny slowly curled himself inward and onto his side. Once he was in a semi-fetal position, he pulled his knees toward his abdomen before slowly and carefully easing his feet to the floor. As he lowered his legs off the sofa, he used a forearm to push his upper body upward. When the range limits of his forearm were reached, Johnny used his abs and core strength to finally finish completely righting himself. Smugly he turned to look at Roy.

Roy's face bore one of those 'ah' expressions. "Now let me see you reverse the process." He demanded smugly.

Johnny sighed. "Well, that's a little more complicated, and will likely require wrists more healed than yours are right now and broken ribs that have knitted a bit more. Sorry, I'm not a magician. You're gonna have to wait for good ol' Mother Nature to do some healing work before we can go there.

Roy sighed in frustration. "Did I mention this sucks?"

Johnny snickered. "Only about a thousand times."

Roy sighed heavily turning his head so he was not facing his partner. "Two weeks ago, if someone had told me I was going to end up being a helpless invalid dependent on others for even the most basic of needs, I'd have thought they were nuts. I mean, I see things like this happen to other people. In our line of work we see it all the time. But….. " His voice trailed off with a note of despair.

Johnny leaned over on the sofa and bumped shoulders with his best friend. Roy didn't turn to look at him, but gruffly returned the signal as if in silent acknowledgement of the support and commiseration his partner offered.

"Look Roy, I know there's nothin' I can say to make this any easier. It does suck. Ya' know."

Roy nodded wordlessly to affirm agreement.

Johnny's eyes too found some spot on the other side of the room on which to focus while he continued to speak. "It doesn't matter how many times we see someone else deal with sudden life changes either. When all of a sudden you're the guy lookin' up at the paramedics rather than looking down on the patient, well….. I guess it reminds us how fragile our little reality is.

Roy nodded glumly. "Yeah, no kidding."

Both men sat in companionable silence then for a few minute, each alone with his own thoughts.

"Ya' know, Brice and I were talkin' about this whole idea when we were sharing a room at Rampart. We sort'a agreed that thing we think of, count on even, to be our role in life, our safety in the place we think we belong… well, all that's just an illusion. It's this fantasy we create for ourselves so we'll feel safe; ya know? Like everything we think we are, think we know….. every part we think we can claim to play in life….. All of it can be swept away in a flash. Then everything is different.

Roy humphed with dubious concurrence.

Johnny considered for a moment his own experiences as the patient. After a few moments he spoke some of his thoughts aloud. "I guess normally, I don't consider myself to be a control freak. I mean, I'm pretty easy going most of the time. I like to think I can get along with anyone, adapt to most situations."

Roy nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Johnny sighed. "But then somethin'll happen like we have a patient die, or some stupid accident happens and someone gets hurt…..or I wake up at Rampart. Then…. Well, then I figure out that maybe, just maybe I might be something of a control freak after all. I mean, there's nothin' I hate worse than being trapped flat on my back in a hospital bed; unable to get up, can't run away and hide or just wish whatever happened would NOT have happened. Then….. Well then I start to figure out I do really like to be in control. I don't like it when I can't make things happen. I'm not good at dealing with thing's just happening to me or others."

Roy again found himself nodding in agreement. Everything Johnny was saying applied to him. "Yeah…. Me too. I mean, I know I am the guy who takes charge. Cap's told me that, you have…. And I do it because I am good at it. But….. This?" And Roy raised both injured wrists in front of his face, and then glanced dolefully down at his casted ankle. He shook his head in a somewhat disbelieving 'no.' "I'm NOT any good at…what was it you said while ago? ….Being the guy looking up at the paramedic."

Johnny chuckled. "Yup, I've sort'a figured that out Pally.

Roy nudged Johnny none to gently with an elbow. "Oh hush. You've got no room to talk in that area my friend."

Johnny now raised his hands in surrender. "Oh, you don't have to remind me of that partner. If possible, I am probably worse at it than you are. You at least deal with most of the hospital stuff with some semblance of dignity. I hate that stuff; all the poking and prodding, no privacy, no way to protect your dignity when you don't even have your own clothes to cover you. And then there are the meds….. Uh….. I hate that stuff! And because I end up in the hospital because I'm sick, or hurt, it all has to be the way it is so I can get better. But I hate it. I hate it all. There's no real way to stop any of it from happening. I just feel so out of control and helpless. Nope! Not my thing. I guess that makes it official. I am a control freak!"

Roy turned to eye Johnny speculatively then. "I get not liking the hospital routines. I mean, really! When at the end of the day a guy can't even count on ending up wearing his own shorts, I totally understand hating the being the patient thing. But the meds Johnny? I mean, sure, they sort of zone me out. But, they do ease the pain and let things heal. But for you? There is something else about them that seems…uh…well…terrifying? Why is that Johnny? What is it about the meds you hate so much? I mean, I get it sometimes. Like yesterday when I was still a little stressed from getting home from Rampart to find Cap here, then he came around bringing my meds. I understood it a little then. I felt like I should be alert to host guests in my home, not doped up. But after I thought about it for a while, I really do understand why the meds are important. So? What is it about meds you hate so much?"

Johnny cleared his throat uncomfortably then. After a long pause he attempted to explain what he knew had been a long standing mystery for Roy. "I guess, when it comes right down to it, it's about control. I mean, the drugs are SO powerful. I fight with everything I have to keep from losing myself to them. But they always manage to whisk me away. It's like becoming a prisoner in my own body or something. I can't reach out for connection, I can't see or hear anymore, I can't even think. I just fall into this black swirling pit where everything means nothing. There's no time, no substance, no contact….nothin'. It scares me to be so lost. I'm always afraid I won't be able to find my way back."

Johnny shivered involuntarily Then after a few moments of silence he shrugged his shoulders and made eye contact with Roy once again. "I don't know….. I guess when I was younger my life was pretty messed up. I was a kid, and really _knew _how fragile my grip on what I thought was reality could be. Somehow I found strength to hold on to myself in the whirlwind of my life by promising myself I'd never be so helpless again. I figured being a rescue man would put me in a place where I was in charge. I would be the guy running in to save the day. Being superman; that'd make me invincible. But then…..It turns out rescue work gets dangerous…..and I end up getting hurt….. And well…ya' know….. There's the procedures at the hospital, and the drugs…..always the drugs….. And there I am helpless again." Johnny again shuddered involuntarily.

"It's like I'm never gonna get away from dealing with the helplessness." Johnny shrugged again.

Listening to Johnny's words, Roy could identify with the sentiments though he suspected he understood the conundrum for totally different reasons. Medication and hospital procedures really didn't bother Roy. These things were just a means to an end, treatment helped heal injury. But when considering his current physical disabilities, Roy definitely now had a clearer view of the humiliation and frustration of feeling helpless and at the mercy of those around him. Oh sure, he'd felt as if he had no control when working as a paramedic he'd had a patient die. But in a way, he was in control there because at least he had made attempts to keep the person alive. But, being injured and unable to care for even his most basic personal needs; that turned things into a whole new ball game.

"I guess I have always been careful, and planned everything out so I could avoid ending up not being in control. But not even planning can prevent everything huh." Roy commiserated.

Johnny bumped Roy's shoulder again. "You know what though partner; though helpless does suck, and we don't always get to be the guy in charge… having friends and family to take care of you when things go south is a good thing. You, JoAnne and the kids and the 51's family have taught me that."

Roy turned a warm gaze toward Johnny. "Yeah, it does. And Johnny, Jo, me and the kids have and will always be glad to be there for you when you need us."

Johnny smiled back at Roy. "I know that Roy, and I appreciate it. Still doesn't make having to need the help any easier."

Roy nodded in agreement. "I'm figuring that one out."

Johnny reached out and patted Roy's slumped shoulder. "Well keep on figuring partner, 'cause another thing you've taught me is how to hang on tight when someone's kicking and screaming because accepting help is tough. I've learned by witnessing you're stubbornness with me. I'm gonna hang on till you can do for yourself."

Roy pondered silently_, "Damn! I walked into that same trap again. I must be losing it, either that or Johnny is far more manipulative than I've ever given him credit for." _Roy shook his head in slightly annoyed amazement.

"Yeah, yeah…. All right. I hear ya partner." Roy grumbled good naturedly.

The remainder of Saturday and all of Sunday passed relatively comfortably at the DeSoto home. There were a few minor blow ups, but nothing that couldn't be worked out.

By Sunday evening, Roy's wrists had healed sufficiently so he could begin to get around balancing himself carefully with the walker Johnny had brought home from Rampart. Once he became more mobile, Roy's self sufficiency increased dramatically. By Monday morning when it was time for Johnny to go back on shift at the fire station Roy and JoAnne were capable of once again managing the tasks of living adequately so as not to need constant help at home.

For the next few weeks the DeSoto family gladly accepted assistance with physically strenuous tasks like yard work, or heavy house cleaning from visiting friends. Gradually as injuries healed, life began to flow back into more customary patterns.

* * *

><p><strong>Eight weeks later:<strong>

The alarm clock on Roy's side of the bed woke him. Sleepy blue eyes opened to peer into the as yet darkened bedroom. Slipping a hand out, Roy felt for his wife on the other side of the bed. Alas, her place at his side was empty. She'd apparently already gotten up leaving only a comforting hint of her scent and a tiny trace of body heat remaining in the covers as a reminder of her presence.

Roy took a moment to enjoy a deep stretch and yawn before flipping the covers back and crawling from the safe harbor of their bed. Padding across the bedroom on two completely dependable feet, Roy headed for the bathroom to take care of morning business.

Several minutes later, emerging from the steamy lavatory, Roy smiled indulgently when he noticed his uniform, and undergarments were laid out neatly waiting for him on the corner of the bed. Allowing the towel he wore around his waist to slide to the floor, Roy relished the coolness of the fresh morning air as it caressed his as yet damp flesh. The comforting smell of coffee and bacon drifted up from the kitchen reminding Roy his wife was downstairs preparing to send him off to work with a warm breakfast.

It had been pretty close to two and a half months since Roy's fall down those stairs in that structure fire. So many experiences had come his way in that time. His firehouse family had unwaveringly stood with him and his family as the recovery process unfolded. There had been lawn mowers, house cleaners, grocery shoppers, and drivers available. He and JoAnne were cared for in situations ranging from causal to the most intensely personal. Roy mused now as he reflected that though the experience would never be one he could ever see himself willing seeking to repeat, he still could not deny the affirming growth he'd seen in himself through the ordeal.

Though Roy always lived by the motto it was more blessed to give than receive, he now knew that to be able to receive was absolutely essential for any well rounded human. If these past two months had taught him anything, they had offered an extended opportunity for investigation of his relationship to weakness, reality and control. He now knew on a personal level the precarious nature of life and security. Things could change in an instant, and it turned out that adapting to such change sometimes had more to do with allowing the helplessness of those moments to exist openly so that others could be blessed by having a chance to offer assistance. Perhaps by receiving help in a weakened state Roy had somehow been able to offer the gift of giving to those who wanted so much to share their strengths and aabilities with Roy and his family.

Roy shivered in the morning air and woke from his reverie to suddenly realize he was still standing in his bedroom nude. _"I need to get dressed. I'm going to catch my death of cold standing here like this. I'm chilled, that has to be why I'm shivering."_ Roy never even stopped to consider the thought process he'd experienced might have had something to do with that moment of physical discomfort.

When he had dressed, Roy found his way to the kitchen where JoAnne already had the children waiting and food on the table. Good morning kisses and greetings were exchanged, then giving way to the morning feeding frenzy while sleepy bodies gained greater alertness through ingested nourishment. After several minutes of growing alertness, conversation began slowly with plans for the next few days becoming topics of discussion.

"Hey Roy, I am marinating some of that rolled flank steak Johnny likes so much. How about you invite him and Shelby to come for dinner tomorrow evening?" JoAnne suggested.

Roy set down the coffee he'd been sipping. "Hey, that sounds like a great idea. I mean, we've been talking about having this dinner for a long time now. I'll ask him when we get to work this morning. I'll call you and let you know."

Breakfast passed with much planning on the part of the DeSoto family, and all too soon it was time for Roy to take his leave. Grabbing up his duffle and spare uniforms, Roy kissed his wife and kids goodbye, and headed for station 51.

When Roy drove into the parking lot of L.A. County Fire Station 51, he found that his partner's Land Rover was already in the lot. In fact, all the vehicles from "A" shift were present except for Chet's VW van. Roy chuckled to himself realizing this would mean Chet would likely end up with latrine duty, and Johnny would begin the day with a big smile.

After stowing his gear in an empty locker room, Roy strolled across the apparatus bay into the kitchen. Marco, Mike, and Johnny were seated around the table drinking coffee and enjoying pastries from a pink box in the center of the table.

"Hey Roy! It's good to see ya back!" Johnny happily greeted his partner while saluting him with a raised coffee cup.

Marco chuckled. "Yeah Roy, glad to see you! But I'd bet Gage is REALLY happy to see you because the last two shifts we've had he's been riding with Brice."

Warm laughter filled the room.

"Eh, he wasn't all that bad Marco." Johnny said waving off Marco's remarks with a casual hand. "I mean, we bonded while he was injured. The guy isn't all bad."

"Oh?" Roy questioned while pouring himself some coffee.

"Bet you'd rather have Roy here though." Mike challenged Johnny's glib reply.

Johnny raised both hands in silent surrender. "Oh, no question about it guys. But, after spending time in the hospital with Brice, I sort'a get where he's coming from. He can still be a pain, it's just now I realize why he's such an exacting person. I guess it helps to have some perspective."

Hank Stanley walked in just in time to hear the last few remarks. "All right then Gage, I'll remember that. It'll make things easier if I'm looking for a sub for Roy there when he's out. I like hearing you enjoyed your time with Brice."

Johnny gulped. "Ya know Cap, I'm just gonna hope Roy's not out that much, and if he is I'll leave it to your wise discretion to find me a sub. After all, we've got young Ricky around too, and he's pretty great to work with."

Stanley chuckled. "Good point." He'd really only been yanking Johnny's chain, but could tell Gage wasn't taking the bait. "_Hmmm….looks like we all might have grown up some these past couple of months."_ Hank mused while silently noting some pride in his men's behavior these past two months.

In honor of Roy's return to work, roll call was handled informally while pastries were consumed. Chester B slid into the kitchen just in time to rescue a jelly doughnut from uneaten lowliness, and to receive his latrine duty for the day.

In preparation for beginning their morning, Roy and Johnny adjourned from roll call to inventory the squad. As they inspected the contents of the bright red work truck, the two men chatted amiably.

"Say Johnny, JoAnne is marinating some of that rolled flank steak you like so much. She asked me if you and Shelby would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night. Interested?" Roy offered.

Johnny paused in his counting to turn a smiling face toward his partner. "Hmmm, sounds good. We were supposed to go out tomorrow evening, and I think I might just be able to talk her into it. Want us to bring something along for dessert?"

"Sounds good." Roy confirmed. "How about you guys come by at around six."

"Sounds great partner." Johnny confirmed while stuffing the last of their equipment into the side compartment.

The conversation these two friends were enjoying was cut short when tones and klaxon sounded sending them to an MVA on the 405 freeway. Johnny's long lanky frame slid into the passenger's side of their bright red work truck and Roy took his traditional place behind the wheel of the squad. With lights flashing and sirens screaming the men of station 51 sped off into their day secure at least for the moment in their roles as rescuers.

THE END

**Authors Note:** When I began this story over a year and a half ago, I had no clue it would take me this long to find my way to the end. I tried something new, and composed an outline for the plot. Honest, the outline was no more than a thousand words long. But, as the story unfolded I found I needed to flesh things out to offer a complete version of my image of how it should be. For those of you who have taken the trip with me, and offered so many kind words of encouragement, I am truly grateful.

In an interesting twist, this story has been a growth experience for me that in some weird ways has paralleled my real life. Things and people we know to be ever present are, I have learned, indeed fragile and changeable.

In the time it has taken for me to put this story together I have seen so much drastic change in my own life.

A friend who I thought was indestructible died suddenly and unexpectedly this past October.

A mortal enemy who seemed to rule the world with a tortuous hand fell deathly ill and almost died in August. Now this poor woman has lost all her hair, and is only able to work half time having barely the energy to come to work, let alone make other folks life miserable as she always seemed to want to do.

My biological brother died suddenly and tragically in a freak accident this past July. The occasion of my brother's funeral gave me a chance to re-connect with my biological family. A heartwarming feeling, I must say. That whole experience was bittersweet.

A coworker who I adored yet struggled with absolutely self destructed last school year. He is now retired, and thankfully finding his own path to recovery from addiction.

My foster mother with whom I share a very interesting relationship very nearly died, and will likely die sooner rather than later. But even in her own way she gave me a gift by allowing me to see her weak and vulnerable when I spent three days attending her in the hospital.

My beloved Callie, 18 year old adored cat finally lost her battle with age and disease. I had to have her put to sleep last April. Two of my dear friends came and took me to the vet with my baby that last afternoon of her life. All three of us stood in that room and cried in those last few minutes. Two new girls from two local shelters, Chloe a blue point Siamese and Sissy a pear shaped Calico, now call my place home. We are adjusting.

I have watched life change for me and others in so many ways this past twenty months. I suppose, like Roy and Johnny in this story, I too struggle with my own control issues. Strength has always been a virtue and weakness a sin. But alas, I too am learning life is fragile. Anything can change in the blink of an eye, and all that is left is for us to cope and adapt.

Thanks for hanging in there with me! I hope you too were able to grow some along the way.


End file.
